Wedding Etiquette Forum

Who decorates grooms table?

I have a good friend whose 2 older sons got married and she shared with me how big a deal it was for her to decorate the grooms table. My FMIL and I have 2 different styles and if I ask her to do it by herself she will ask me questions about every little thing. So to cut down on stress and the sheer bulk of time it takes to put on a wedding I am wondering if it is rude for me to do the groom's table with minimal input from her? Since she is planning the rehersal dinner all by herself is it...which was an ordeal and is still in the making. Any suggestions? 

Re: Who decorates grooms table?

  • What the heck is a groom's table?
  • What's a grooms table?
  • Our ceremony and reception will reflect BOTH of our tastes. Groom tables are a way to show the groom's tastes when the wedding and reception only reflect the bride's tastes and style.
  • I've never heard of a groom's table either.  Is this the table the groom's cake is put on?  If yes, I don't see why your FMIL would have input.  I would imagine it would just match the style of his cake.
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  • Sorry, I've never heard of a groom's table.
  • The bride gets an entire reception and all the groom gets is a table?  Not fair!
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  • If the groom's table is supposed to reflect his taste, why would his mother decorate it?Does anyone actually sit at this table or is it just a random table sitting there?
  • Groom tables are a way to show the groom's tastes when the wedding and reception only reflect the bride's tastes and style.Ah, kind of like a "man's room" in a couple's home because he has no say in how the house is decorated?Dumb.
  • "Ah, kind of like a "man's room" in a couple's home because he has no say in how the house is decorated?"TiDa nailed that one.just a table, usally with a groom's cake, memorabilia from sports he likes and manly type colors.
  • I would think whatever the heck this grooms table is, it would match the style and "theme" of the rest of the reception room.  So whoever (you, friends, wedding coordinator, whatever) decorates the rest of the place would do it too, no?I think the idea of the whole room having one look, and one little table having a completely different one sounds terribly unsightly and tacky. 

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    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
  • I get that it must be a custom in some areas, but I don't really get it.  The wedding and reception should reflect both the bride and groom's tastes, not just the bride.
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  • Ditto Dani.  Shouldn't his tastes already be seen throughout the event?  Why would he be confined to one stupid little table to begin with, while everything else is what only the bride likes?

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    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
  • Pffft . I'm not even letting my FI decorate a table for a wedding.  Nuh uh.   And in the house, he got the basement.  He can have his man cave, the rest of it is just stunning, why would I want that ruined with his...man stuff?

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • J&K, now that you say that, I'm sure he will actually, he has gathered up the stuff for it and we're decorating after the RD.
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    (Married)meganandshane.weebly.com~
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    DrLangevin
  • tlv204tlv204 member
    2500 Comments
    I still don't get it.
    Leo says hi. He's...special.
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  • So... your groom and you have nothing in common for you to incorp into the whole thing... you aren't doing two wedding colors ones that's your fav and one that's his.... Seems odd to me but if thats the case... let your groom decorate his own table... It is supposed to reflect his taste after all. Guess I just got lucky to score a man whos fav color is mine, (well a diff shade but its still green) is neat and tasteful, and loves japanese stuff as much as I do...
  • I was trying to find a picture of a groom's cake from a wedding I went to last year, but you couldn't see it too well. In her case, her DH is a huge duck hunter, but she vetoed anything camo or duck related in the wedding. So his groom's table had his really cool groom's cake, and the table had a brown tablecloth with duck blind netting has an overlay, some cattails and tall grass as the flower decorations.
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    (Married)meganandshane.weebly.com~
    (Planning)shaneandmegan.weebly.com
    DrLangevin
  • Yet another thing that the wedding industry will convince couples they **MUST** have or their marriage is doomed.  It amazes me how people can be separated from their $$.It also amazes me how something benign like a groom's cake can get blown all out of proportion and into a highly decorated table by people who have to one-up everyone else.Dopey.  Just dopey.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Trix, it's not that anyone is saying I MUST have it. FI wants it, so it's not like I'm going to say no.
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    (Married)meganandshane.weebly.com~
    (Planning)shaneandmegan.weebly.com
  • OK ladies...for those of you that have no idea what a grooms table is...obviously this thread is not for you. Thank you to the one person who actually answered my question. For those of you who felt the need to judge what I do at my wedding...you have your own day.
  • tbh33tbh33 member
    100 Comments
    Sorry OP I forgot to answer your question.  I would talk to the groom and see how he feels about decorating it.  If he would rather do it, then I think he should.  But if he says he wants his mom to have some input, then ask her for a few ideas.  However, I have a feeling he'd probably want to have some input since it's technically his table.
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