[i]Whenever we get into a fight before he has to go to work he always says, "I hope I don't die tonight" as he's walking out the door. (He's a cop.) Even though he's right, it's a pretty sh!tty, manipulative thing to say.[/i] Um...that's not a cute "ha ha my husband is a dork" story. That's flat out messed up.
Whenever we get into a fight before he has to go to work he always says, "I hope I don't die tonight" as he's walking out the door. (He's a cop.) Even though he's right, it's a pretty sh!tty, manipulative thing to say. My response would be And if you do die tonight, I hope they don't find the evidence that leads back to me.
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
Groomz, I don't think I've told you lately that I love you. I just realized there's no pleasing me when it comes to the cell phone calls. In the car it annoys me because I can't escape it and in the house I want him to sit still when he talks but not near me.
I'm pretty sure it's pronounced your mom's a moron and if you didn't have your name legally changed by the age of 22, so are you. Unless you're from another continent. -Groomz
The guy couldn't find his asss with both hands and a flashlight for ffs.We lived in Starkville for four years. Every month, we would go to the cable and electric company ofices to pay our bills. Every month, Brett would ask me how to get there. For FOUR YEARS.Starkville is not a big town. Not to mention the EC was on the same street as my apartment for one of those years.
One of Fi's fav things to do is see how bad he can scare me. One time we were meeting somewhere and I got there before him and decided to wait in my car and finish up a phone convo. He comes up from behind my car and bangs on my window.... I FREAKED! I somehow managed to kick the window of my car!!! IDK how I did it but ya.... Then this morning he had already left and I was getting ready, just finishing up. I hear noises but I thought it was the dog... then I hear this HUGE banging coming down the hall! I was so freaked I wasnt sure if it was someone breaking in or the dogs or what but I come out of the room yelling "HEY!!!" While pointing....Idk what the pointing was supposed to do... or shouting hey but it was all I had at the time. LOL!
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I'm loving the groomz love. Irish makes 3 wives so far. Looks like we're moving to Utah!
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
I'll move to Utah as long as it's not to one of those creepy compounds. This reminds me, how long til Big Love comes back?
I'm pretty sure it's pronounced your mom's a moron and if you didn't have your name legally changed by the age of 22, so are you. Unless you're from another continent. -Groomz
Ugh, Mr. Spiderman empties the dishwasher and puts stuff in the most random places. There's no rhyme or reason to it. We have lived in the same house for 5 years and have not changed the location of things, so why he can't manage to put the spatula in the same place it's always been is beyond me. It would at least be easier if he put things in the same wrong place each time, but he doesn't even do that. I have to spend 10 minutes searching the kitchen to find anything.He always leaves out the condiments he uses.I can always tell what kitchen cupboards he's been in because he leaves them open. CSI would have no problems tracking his movements.He has the most obnoxious habit of talking or getting up to get something to eat as soon as the TV show we're watching comes back on from commercial. During the commercials he's as quiet and as still as can be, but as soon as the show begins, he suddenly can't shut up or sit still. I'll politely listen to whatever boring-ass work story he wants to tell me, wait until I think he's done, and then unpause the TV and he'll start right back up again. He also tries to talk to me while I'm on the computer. DUDE, I am reading email or whatever. There is no reason you need to tell me how you fixed a printer at work today!
My H doesn't like to drink at all. Not even a glass of wine at a nice restaurant. I like wine and don't like drinking alone. He also can't seem to make calls to get things fixed/corrected. He can't do any administrative tasks.He never takes it upon himself to figure out dinner. Either I cook, or we order in. I always make food decisions though. And when I ask him to cook something, he asks what he should cook and how to do it. I end up feeling like I'm training an intern.
[i]My H doesn't like to drink at all. Not even a glass of wine at a nice restaurant. I like wine and don't like drinking alone.[/i] We have this issue as well.
he leaves empty water/soda/beer bottles wherever he finishes them, it's insane how many will accumulate and in such a short amount of time before they are collected (necessitating the help of a bag, and usually done by me, with considerable annoyance) we just moved, and it coincides with his band getting ready to go in to the studio, so between work and constant rehearsals, it really seems like i'm doing the bulk of the unpacking. lame.
He has the most obnoxious habit of talking or getting up to get something to eat as soon as the TV show we're watching comes back on from commercial. During the commercials he's as quiet and as still as can be, but as soon as the show begins, he suddenly can't shut up or sit still. I'll politely listen to whatever boring-ass work story he wants to tell me, wait until I think he's done, and then unpause the TV and he'll start right back up again. He also tries to talk to me while I'm on the computer. DUDE, I am reading email or whatever. There is no reason you need to tell me how you fixed a printer at work today!For REAL. Or he gives random factoids about the actor/show he learned on wikipedia, especially over important dialogue. Or he'll point out some nitpicky gaffe or mistake or improbability.Then he gets super-offended if I pause/rewind the show.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
If you fail to see the difference between being annoyed about foffing wet foffing peanut butter on a knife and manipulating someone to feel bad about you dying (which is a real possibility in his job) than I have concerns about your comprehension of reasonable.
For REAL. Or he gives random factoids about the actor/show he learned on wikipedia, especially over important dialogue. Or he'll point out some nitpicky gaffe or mistake or improbability.I do this all the time. All the time. I always pick up on editing glitches and rewind 3 times to show Jimmy how Wilhemina Slater had a full glass of wine, followed by empty, followed by full while delivering the same line, leaving no room for drinking and refilling. Drives him nuts.
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
[i]sI do this all the time. All the time. I always pick up on editing glitches and rewind 3 times to show Jimmy how Wilhemina Slater had a full glass of wine, followed by empty, followed by full while delivering the same line, leaving no room for drinking and refilling. Drives him nuts[/i] Uggg. My husband does this too. I DON'T CARE. I just want to watch the show.
Well, I'm glad you're used to it Buddha, because there will be plenty of this behavior on the "ranch" in Utah.
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
Oh, but the best part is yesterday H was looking something up about ER I think, and he's like "Man, these sites get all nitpicky with noticing glitches. I just want to see who the guest star was and watch the show!"And then I murdered him with my eyes.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Oh! Here's a fun one from the other day, after I got fed up with my slight mustache problem! I did it and showed H, like "Look! Now I don't have to be self-conscious about it anymore!"Nate: You didn't have a mustache!Me: I did too! I saw it sometimes. And you said I did last year! Nate: Well, yeah, it was way worse then.Me: WHAT!? Remind me why I didn't kill you for not telling me?Nate: It sounds like the kind of thing you wouldn't want to hear!Me: I ALWAYS WANT TO KNOW IF I HAVE A MUSTACHE Nate: Oh. Okay. *peering at my face*Me: What?Nate: You missed a spot. It's okay, I always miss that spot when I shave, too.Me: *murders him with my mind*Nate: What? What did I do?
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
MrT always wants to play "recite that actor's resume" while we're watching TV or a movie at home. But he's really bad at it, so when Idris Elba was on The Office this year, he was all, "Is that guy on SVU? Was he in Oz?" and I'm like, "HE'S IN THE MOTHERFUKCING WIRE, NOW SHUT UP!"
MrT always wants to play "recite that actor's resume" while we're watching TV or a movie at home.I do this. I'm pretty sure my H hates it. He gets frustrated and then yells "Just get on IMDB!"But how could you not get Idris Elba? Common!
He gets frustrated and then yells "Just get on IMDB!"Oh, I have yelled this too, SB!Maybe it would be tolerable if he knew his stuff. But he's always SO wrong. He's convinced that Patrick Dempsey and Eric McCormack from Will & Grace are the same person. And watching the 3rd season of Dexter, it was "Jimmy Schmidt" this, and "Jimmy Schmidt" that. THE MAN'S NAME IS SMITS.
were you going for SCMIDT?It's the every other letter filter. there's another word that it does this to, but I can't remember what it was. Used to come up a lot.
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
Re: I love my H, buts...
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
The nerve!
House | Blog
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
The nerve!
House | Blog
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.