Two things that drive me nuts: When people update their facebook status every day with a countdown to their wedding (starting from like 40 days out). Yes, you're excited, I'm happy for you, but do you really need to give everyone a constant reminder of when your wedding is? (especially those not invited) And one of my dear friends (also a bridesmaid) has a tendency to "one-down" me (the opposite of one-up). Any time I try to vent to her or tell her something bad that has happened (to me or anyone else) she HAS to tell me something worse that has happened to her. Needless to say, I only share happy news with her now.
jrmailloux - we refer to the "one-dowing" as CCD, otherwise known as Chronic Complaining Disorder. It's not as serious as sufferers would have you think. I would love to jump in on this post, but so much verbal diarrhea would just spill outta me, there'd be no cleaning it up. I agree with every post written! I do want to add that, as a person with the "smallest" ring in her family - I know all about the "cute" comments - I've developed a complex over the whole ring thing - to the point where I don't want to wear it anymore!
Ok - I have to add one more - People who hit your car but don't stop to even say "sorry" really tick me off! Yesterday I'm sitting at the Chestnut Hill Mall and this lady backs her big-a** Escalade into me while trying to cram herself into a itty bitty spot. My car rocked, with me in it. She got out and just went into the mall - didn't say sorry, nothing. And I was sitting right there! I got out and made sure there wasn't any damage - but still...
Mrsandmrs, diamond pimple? Oh give me a break. People are just so rude sometimes. Ugh. Erilou: Please don't stop wearing your ring. I can't even imagine how I would feel if I were in that position but I know one thing, you gotta rock that bling girl FWIW: Dh was talking about what he wanted to do for our one year anny. He asked if I wanted my ring size upgraded. I really don't think it is worth it to spend the money on but the convo from the weekend got me thinking. Is one carat really all that small? (I have a 1.2, like come onnnnnn). I love my ring but it gets in your head man!
I know someone who has a 4 ct center stone flanked with a 2 ct on each side. It's a freakin monstrosity. But upon close inspection each diamond looks cloudy. So, again, it's about the 4 C's. It doesn't matter how big the stone is when the clarity or color is horrible. Oh, and Tiffany's (or any designer warehouse for that matter) sells awful crap at inflated prices. Nobody in their right mind would buy an e-ring there. It's like buying a Lexus when you could've gotten the same specs at the Toyota dealership.
caitymur - ::sigh:: I know. We're getting annoyed. And he's said he would return it all (plus interest). But actions speak louder than words, and we haven't received a dime yet. We're just trying to balance how much longer we play nice, and when we say enough is enough... though we've tried to do that nicely already.
Meaghan - oh it totally gets in your head! But only around Boston I've noticed. Everyone I know has these rocks, but when we go back to upstate NY (where FI is from) they are more realistic. When I mentioned to all of my FSIL's that I was thinking of not wearing my ring - they all wanted to smack me because up there it's twice the size of theirs. I'm just uncomfortable with the whole idea of wearing a status symbol around anyways - which is my main issue with the diamond thing - because it's all bubkus. Yes, FI could have spent way more on my ring - but I would have killed him if he did because it's just not that important to me. BUT - some people just don't know any better too - I mean, I've got what they call a "fancy cut" so for example it costs twice as much as like a round or something. So these girls who are throwing their diamonds in my face it's like, Ok - but my ring actually probably COST more than yours because it was custom made and the like - even though yours looks bigger... I don't say that of course - it just annoys me. Sorry - totally went off topic there, but yeah - I used to think one caret was a decent size - guess I'm wrong?
Oh jthennigar - I know you're playing nice - but what they've done is completely illegal... And Meaghan (again!) - I would have taped a copy of my lease with the energy part highlighted as well - a landlord can't dictate your energy consumption... Sorry, my mum is big on tenant's rights (even though she's in Intellectual Property, go figure... so I hear about the legality of this stuff all the time...
Ok, I resisted, but here i go haha: 1. The ring thing is horrible! I'll be honest, I always wanted a big ring, but now that we're closer to getting married and we've actually priced rings, I would rather get something btwn, 1-1,5 carats and good quality and put the money toward savings. FI is still willing to get a bigger one, but it just seems impractical at this stage (he just started working), and I'm dying to own a house. My friends think i have mental problems for this lol. 2. One of my BMs is driving me nuts. I love her to death but she hasn't moved on from the college drinking stage if you know what I mean. 3. I recently took a new job, which is a bit of a risky career decision, but it felt right and I think it's a good choice for me. I really dont feel like explaining to everyone why I took it. If you want to play it safe, fine. 4. Johnny's bride, I do the SAME thing with the carts.
mrsandmrsbins - Despite being a life-long pacifist, if someone EVER referred to my ring as a "diamond pimple" physical violence would ensue. You know - even it was in reference to someone I know and I was in earshot they'd get slapped. A friend of mine has a ring that is probably .25 of a caret in this really unique setting - it's also over 100 years old and has been passed down in her FI's family for generations - I'd take a piece of history over a big ring any day! I really need to stop posting now...
I hear everyone on the "oh where is the ring" and the "oh youre going to have a blue sapphire as the center stone not a diamond" and the one I hate more than anything Them: "when is the big day" us: "in a few years we need to come up with the money" Them: "2-3 years what are you crazy thats too long get married now! by then youll be broken up" (That one just makes me want to kick them all in the knee!) Rings, diamonds and weddings cost tons of money. Money that we are trying to save to have this crazy big wedding so their feelings dont get hurt and we are not written out of the family forever.
Erilou - I know! I think I was too shocked to say anything! Seriosuly, engagement rings are a symbol, I'd rather have a small pretty symbol that reminds me of how FI loves me everyday and still be able to buy a house where I can actually live with FI everyday.
If someone said that about my ring and I had heard them, they would have taken a cute little 1.03 carats right in the forehead (complete with 6 prong marks from the setting). I'm also from upstate NY, and I have the biggest ring of anyone I know from back home. Around here, though... there are some people that would that would have you believe that it's just a chip.Erilou, where is your FI from?Today's things I can't stand:- my mom's best friend and her entire family are not coming to my wedding. My mother would be so pissed. Not for nothing, but they're loaded. All of them. It's another case of people in my life that aren't willing to go out of their way. First my uncle (who "doesn't want to spend the money"), and now them. I go out of my way for family and friends back home, but the one time I have something on my terms, people back out. It's a good thing I have great friends here, because if I had to depend on my family and friends back home, I'd be screwed.-work. I just want to go home. I should, since I spent the day here on Friday when I was supposed to be off, but I have too much to do (as usual) and my boss is in meetings all day.
*Kelly*
MARRIED to the love of my life October 17, 2009!
Kel - they are from Voorheesville, he lived in Cobbleskill for a bit as a kid, and his sister is up in Berne, brother down near Altamont - so they are all around that area. (He was actually born in CO, then moved to Alaska, before they settled in NY) - it's beautiful up there. Few years, we're buying a piece of land and building a house hopefully! Life is very different up there - I like it much better, haha!
The ring thing always gets me. I girl I know got engaged and had a respectable ring then she found out that FI was having an online thing with some girl from across the country. Her FI called it off to be with online girl...then when things weren't so hot offline he crawled back to the original FI and she took him back along with a bigger ring! I always remember this story when people flaunt their "huge" rings. After all, there is something to be said for overcompensation!
Oh yeah it is definitely all relative, there are girls on the national boards all the time bragging about their 1 carat diamonds and 15k weddings like they were 3 carats and 100k weddings. Not that the first is bad or something, my point being when you tell the cost of things in MA they just shake their heads in amazement.Same with e-rings. Yes, my princess cut was a lot 'more' than another cut and I opted for a platinum band with pave diamonds instead of white gold. So does that make my ring less in quality then some one with 2 carats round and plain band in white gold? It is so confusing. I never played the compare game but now that I know way more people with e-rings (and thus hear more reactions to e-rings) the pressure is turned way up! I don't like how all this rando competition between girls has sprung up recently.
I don't want anyone thinking I'm knocking big rings - if you can afford that plus a house and everything you want in life then that's awesome for you - and I don't think there is a girl on the knot that is like the people we're describing. Most of my friends/family have rings anywhere from 1.5 ct. to 8 cts. - and I'm happy for each and every one of them. I just don't like when some people, not to pick on anyone in particular - but it's usually girls that aren't engaged yet and don't know what things cost - being prejudiced against someone's status because of what they are wearing on their finger. *off soapbox*
Meaghan - I went to an all girl school, I've been living with this "competition" thing my whole life and never once bought into it. I have a couple people in my life that are uber competitive, and I just don't get it. No matter what you have - someone is always going to have more. So you have to be happy with what you have and not buy into any competition with anyone else. That's why I like this board - I feel the girls here are really realistic in expectations - it's not like this with other brides outside the knot.
I don't know... to me, it was pointless to have a huge flashy ring. FI certainly could have afforded a larger ring, but I didn't want one. When I look down at my finger, I think my ring looks sizeable. We're also paying for our own wedding, so I'd rather be able to have more people come to our wedding and celebrate with us than have a bigger ring.
*Kelly*
MARRIED to the love of my life October 17, 2009!
Ok, on the flip side it is really hard to want to plan a big, gorgeous wedding and have people both here on the knot and IRL act like we are spending our money wrong/doing unnecessary things. What is with people on these boards being proud of how little they spend?I would be embarrassed to do so little for my guests and for our special day. Some where some one said something about 'why do guests need to eat filet mignon?' Well, they don't but do you really want to be a chicken marsala bride?
And btw, there ARE a lot of brides on here that have expensive weddings, but that I'm sure will be executed with a lot more class and grace than yours, judging from your posts. It's called modesty
Rosy - I don't think people are gloating that they are serving chicken marsala and 'skimping' their guests. They are happy they are making the right and reasonable choices for them and their wedding/finances/lifestyle.I agree that often times I see people save money on things I would prefer to pay a professional to do or cut something I would never dream of going with out, but I don't think of it in terms of embarrassment or glory or however you put it. It is a matter of opinion and opinions are like you know whats. Every one has got one.
The ring thing has gotten to me a lot. I love my ring and wouldn't want anything different. However, I have a very small stone and every time someone asks to see my ring for the first time I always feel like I have to tell them that it's around 80 years old, just so they don't criticize it. I hate feeling like I have to justify my ring.
Ahhh....I'm so glad people are grouchy today. I can join in on the rebellion, yay! - On the ring front: friend got engaged about a month before me. we were thrilled obviously. she has since booked most of her wedding already and bought a house. when i told her my updated living plans (which doesn't including buying right now), she told me I was "making a huge mistake" and made me feel terrible about my choice. I don't know how to approach her about this. She made me feel like I was doing something wrong. - Meg - who got engaged?
Never mind, forget my half heartedly reasonably reply, I just remembered who you are Rosy. The only thing here embarrassing is your constant harping about how much you have and how much you look down your nose at others.
Kenz, no one from Merrimack. It was my co-workers sister. Any Merrimack engagements that you have heard about recently? I need to do some fb stalking and update myself.
oh lord, i have not posted on here in forever !!! but have a funny thing to shareso when i got engaged my moh came over to my house in fornt of my mother took off her engagement ring and held it over the top of my diamond to compare sizes. my ring is not small average size hers is def bigger. she then proceeded to keep telling me how much her ring costs. to which i would never ask and would never want to know.then she proceeds to ask me a month later if my FI was paying off my ring still - i politely turned and said he bought in cash.
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