Tattoos

NAPgreen · June 2010

Personally, I do like tattoos but the ones I have are hidden because I told myself I would not get one in an open place until after my wedding because me personally did not want them in my pictures. I think tattoos are beautiful dont get me wrong, and I plan on gettig more after the wedding including on my foot and wrist for everyone to see. Growing up and thinking about my wedding I never thought about tattoos or anything like that and my ideal pictures have always been the traditional "wholesome" pictures...no tattoos everyone all dressed niced and everything.

My MOH has a very cool but rather larger tattoo across her upper back and another one on her foot. I think they are great in everyday life but not so much for the wedding. I am torn as to if I should ask her to cover them up or just let them be shown as they are who she is. Also, I know that when my brother got married and my mom tried to cover her's it didn't work very well and just looked messy.

Opinions...am I aloud to ask her to cover them up and if so does anyone have any product ideas that worked well?

Thank you.

[Deleted User] · June 2010

You have no say over your MOH's body and it's incredibly rude to ask her to cover them up. Even coming from someone with tattoos, you're essentially telling her to be ashamed of her tattoos because she needs to keep them hidden, not to mention you're basically saying your precious wedding pictures are more important than her own feelings.

It's offensive to be told that having a tattoo means you aren't "wholesome" and will make pictures look trashy, which is basically what you're saying. If my friend asked me to cover mine up because she's afraid of how her pictuers will look, I'd tell her that I'd just step down and solve the problem altogether.

Whippet8 · June 2010

If I was a bridesmaid, and I was asked to cover my tatoo by a bride, I would be extremely offended.

AutumnFair · June 2010

Sesha hit it straight on. You can not dictate someone's body just for the sake of some pictures. Plus think about it, how many traditional shots do you see of someone's back? Looking through all my friend's wedding pictures (who had family that had tattoos that were in the WP) I could maybe find one picture out of 400-500 pictures that had the person's back. As for the tattoo on her foot, realize that for full body pictures the field of vision is drawn back so unless you blow a picture to 16x20 and up it would be a very hard time to spot the tattoo.

If your friend ask you if she needs to cover it up, you can tell her your preference but also saying the final decision is up to her. The only tattoos I would have a problem with is any dirty pictures or words, but even then I go back to the "how many pictures are going to have a person's back" and would let it go, its definitely not worth hurting your friend or family members feelings.

mbarnhart · June 2010

Maybe try and find a wrap that all the girls can wear during the ceremony. I don't think she'd be offended, especially if she's your best friend.

NAPgreen · June 2010

I am sorry if someone here thinks i was being rude about tattoos...I am not...I think they are great to have. And i do not mean that pictures with tattoos in them are bad pictures...i am sorry if i offened anyone. Man I feel like I can't say anything on this board without getting in trouble...sorry!

taylorbea · June 2010

i am so over reading posts about girls that want their maids to cover their tattoos!!!

get over yourself, open your mind, and stop judging the way your "friends" look.

i cant wait to see all of my beautiful girls in a beautiful gown with beautiful tattoos!!

one word comes to mind: BRIDEZILLA!!!!!!!!!!

taylorbea · June 2010

oh yea: and the fact that you say you actually like tattoos makes you sound like an idiot.

jagore08 · June 2010

Please look at my married bio. One of my girls is covered in tattoos and she looks just as good as the rest. I honestly don't even notice the tattoos. She also has a very large one spanning the width of her back and you never see it in pictures. How many pictures do you see of BM backs? Hardly none. My photographer didn't take any and if he did, I didn't notice the tattoos because it's my friend. They are a part of her so all I see is her.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · June 2010

De ja vu.

Also - no. You can't ask her to cover it up.

If you don't want people to show their tattoos at your wedding, you should probably ask people who aren't inked to participate in your wedding party.

summerlilly2008 · June 2010

NAPgreen I wouldn't worry about offending anyone. Everyone is different and you don't sound like an idiot. It was a simple question that requires a simple answer. I agree with the PP that said if your friend asks you about covering it up than you can tell her your preference but let her decide.

ALL brides have a vision of their wedding day, most have been picturing it since the moment they started planning. Take the picture in your head and think about your friend, are you really going to notice the tattoo? Probably not. You probably won't even think about it on your wedding day, you will just be happy she is there.

I have tattoos and mine will be covered because my dress covers them. I completely forgot that my MOH had one on the back of her shoulder, her foot, and her wrist until we went dress shopping. I figure if she doesn't have a problem with them showing (which she shouldn't she went and got them for a reason) than I don't have a problem with them. I might even do a picture of us pointing out the one on her shoulder. I see us back to back and looking over our shoulders at it. I don't know.

Brittany&Chris · June 2010

I don't think you sound like an idiot either. It was a simple request for friendly advice. Not to be attacked. I don't think that your friend would be offended if asked to wear a wrap or something just for the ceremony or pictures. My MOH has a lip ring and was more than willing to take it out for the ceremony. I am not trying to mask who she is or how she expressed herself. I just want a certain look for my church ceremony and pictures. I don't think it is too much to ask.. I am sure that if you explain why you would prefer them to be covered she will understand. Best of luck

waltzingmatilda13 · June 2010

I think they are great in everyday life but not so much for the wedding.

But it is still her everyday life, you just happen to be getting married that day.

aerinpegadrak · June 2010

Asking someone to cover their tattoos so they won't ruin your pretty pictures is a jerk move, period. Our groomswoman has a port wine birthmark covering most of her face and chest, should I have asked her to cover that too?

Of course, you CAN ask her to cover it. The hand of god isn't going to descend and stop you. Likewise, she CAN tell you to go fvck yourself. Nothing stopping her either.

SheDiva4 · June 2010

I would never dream of asking anyone to cover up a tattoo for my wedding. You CAN ask but I wouldn't do it.

[QUOTE] Our groomswoman has a port wine birthmark covering most of her face and chest, should I have asked her to cover that too? Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

I have a huge birthmark covering 90% of my back, and I was asked by a consultant at a dress shop if I needed good makeup to cover it. Guess who didn't get a sale?

AutumnFair · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:618eb63f-649d-42d8-9a22-db6d23d66affPost:d80952f8-ad96-42ba-8f38-9a9f01268af8">Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally, I do like tattoos but the ones I have are hidden because I told myself I would not get one in an open place until after my wedding because me personally did not want them in my pictures. I think tattoos are beautiful dont get me wrong, and I plan on gettig more after the wedding including on my foot and wrist for everyone to see. Growing up and thinking about my wedding I never thought about tattoos or anything like that and my ideal pictures have always been the traditional "wholesome" pictures...no tattoos everyone all dressed niced and everything. My MOH has a very cool but rather larger tattoo across her upper back and another one on her foot. I think they are great in everyday life but not so much for the wedding. I am torn as to if I should ask her to cover them up or just let them be shown as they are who she is. Also, I know that when my brother got married and my mom tried to cover her's it didn't work very well and just looked messy. Opinions...<strong>am I aloud to ask her to cover them up</strong><strong> and if so does anyone have any product ideas that worked well?</strong> Thank you.
Posted by NAPgreen[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This was your question, people have answered yes and no, but even the people saying yes, already have stated that if your friend says no, you can not take offense in her decision. Those who have already said no, basically are trying to save a possible hurt friend. You are getting way too defensive, there are no mean spirited post.

</div>

aerinpegadrak · June 2010

That's awful, SheDiva. I probably would have said something to her manager, that's so insensitive.

trix1223 · June 2010

NAP: Did you choose your friend to be in your WP because of her appearance or because of what's in her heart and soul?

HINT: one matters, the other doesn't.

nicole1125 · June 2010

!st- No, I have a few tatoos including on my upper back and if a bride asked me to cover I would be very offened. That is who she is and I bet you are the only one thinking about it.

And also I went to awedding once where the bride tried to cover a tattoo up on her back with make up and it ended up looking like a black blob or bruise. I think it would have looked better if she had just left it and showed it was a tattoo......

raashton · June 2010

I believe you hit the nail on the head when you said that her tattoos are "who she is". She is in your wedding because you love who she is, all of her. It's now time to embrace the phyiscal aspects of her spirit as well.

Ken&Cass · June 2010

I feel that covering up the tattoo only ends up looking bad by the end of the day, because the coverup inevitably ends up getting rubbed off somewhere and then it just looks stupid. I would much rather just let people have their tattoos showing, I have one on my upper back and don't plan on covering it for the wedding.

sboone84 · June 2010

I got married in May.

My sister was a bridesmaid, and offered (I didn't ask) to cover her large arm tattoo with either makeup or a wrap. Initially, I took her up on that.

Well, the day came, and it was too warm for a wrap and we didn't want to bother with the makeup in the end, so she went as is.

and you know what, it make for Beautiful and interesting pictures. My sister, with her arm tattoo in a pretty dress looked gorgeous. And it ended up looking smaller in the pictures than it is, for some reason.

So don't worry.

sboone84 · June 2010

I forgot that my other sister (the three on my right are my sisters), the blond, has a wrist tattoo and a foot tattoo.

those actually looked cute in photos too...

sjnsjnsjn · June 2010

Love her, love her tats. They will probably make your wedding pictures much cooler...

Swiftsong8 · June 2010

I have tattoos that are visible. If I was in a friends wedding then that would mean were are very close friends or family. IF she asked me to cover them..of course I would. Would I be offended..ABSOLUTLY NOT! Its her day and I want to do everything in my power to make her day as happy and as pefect as she would like. I have a bridemaid that will have a tattoo showing. Will I ask her to cover it up? No..but if I did I know she would and not be offended at all. How do I know this...because I just called her and asked her opinion. Its your wedding...DO WHATEVER THE HECK YOU WANT!

AHorton84 · June 2010

I'll probably be ripped a new one for saying this, but I asked one of my bridesmaids to cover hers. Her only comment was that any make-up would rub off. I told her I would pay my makeup artist to use airbrush, and that was the end of it. Seriously, I think it's a fairly small thing to ask. Especially if it's a huge one across her back, it will look odd in pictures.

Alanda1318 · June 2010

I have tattoos and I would be so offended if anyone asked me to cover them up. I offered to cover mine for a friend's wedding to be polite, but secretly I would have been offended if she had taken me up on the offer. Also, most of my bridesmaids have tattoos in different places, and I would never ask them to cover them up. That is just me though, other people may be different... I may be more easily offended about my tattoos than other people... Good Luck whatever you decide. I hope it doesn't cause any unneccesary drama because all this planning stuff is stressful enough :-)

PeonyPrincesskdd · June 2010

if they are on her foot and her back, for the pictures no one will even tell.. and just don't choose any pictures from the back side for your album.. you will be choosing pictures from the front.. so what does it matter if she has tattoos on her back.. and just choose a floor length dress so the feet won't be showing much

arthomas82 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:618eb63f-649d-42d8-9a22-db6d23d66affPost:a474b39c-f2f7-4ddb-be26-b721f7ac6d97">Re: Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]oh yea: and the fact that you say you actually like tattoos makes you sound like an idiot.
Posted by taylorbea[/QUOTE]

I dont agree - I'm a huge fan of tattoos (I have 3) but it doesnt mean I want to see them in my wedding. WIth that being said, I can only worry about my own tattoos - my MOH and BM control their own bodies.

AubreyMo · June 2010

Tough subject. I'm sorry you've had to deal with such backlash. I really don't have an opinion. I think you are the only one who can make that decision since you know her. If she won't be offended and if you want pictures without the tattoos, then I don't see a problem with talking about it with her. I just wouldn't want to burn bridges. I'm going through the same thing with my wedding. Mainly I just think of the things that matter to me and see if the problem fits on that list or not, and go from there. Good luck, I'm sure everything will turn out perfect.

mdd123082 · June 2010

I was in a wedding a few years back and almost every bridesmaid except for me had a visible tattoo or two. The girls themselves chose to cover them up with wraps or makeup to keep with a very formal appearance (the bride's wedding had a high mass and was very traditional affair); the bride never asked them to do so, which I agree was right by her.
Really, when dressed up, hair, make-up, and nails done, everyone looked gorgeous anyway, but sometimes people feel compelled to adjust by circumstance. Maybe there is a chance that your BM would choose to cover up on her own, too.
If so, you're set. If not, I really wouldn't worry about it. Especially if the artwork is on her back and foot, it is unlikely to be seen in photos, and everyone will be looking at YOU anyway

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