Thanks for the kind words in the good morning thread, girls! And for the eaten flower, Vally. I could never kick you in the shins, no matter how frustrated I am.

Manda is a good kid. Better than a lot of teens. I know, I know. I'm hard on her, and I expect a lot more of her than most parents. I had a mortgage at 16; I don't offer much sympathy for that awkward growing up stage. Suck it up, make a plan and get on with it.
I busted her for lying constantly to me, so I took her car for a month, so now she hates me. She locks herself in her room, ignores Chloe, and just thinks she has the toughest, most awful life right now. I want to smack her every time I look at her.
She's graduating in June and has decided to move in with her dad and stay here for her first year, at the community college. I'm fine with that, but she needs to get transcripts to them, get registered with the college, apply for Federal aid and, most importantly, GET A JOB. There's a $2500 scholarship through my company, and I gave her the paperwork Feb. 1. It needs to be postmarked 3.10. I just got it from her this morning, unfinished. I want to strangle her.
J is angry because she's disrespectful to me, and even worse to him, and I'm just exhausted and over it. I'm booking the trip to Disney for 3, and we can buy tickets daily for her if she decides to grow up and be human again and go with us. I'd feel awful leaving her behind, but I know I probably need to just so she'll realize she's an adult and I'm not taking her crap anymore. Being an adult is not sitting in your room, sulking and watching MTv all day. You suck and you need to improve!
Ok, I'm done. Thanks for letting me vent. Whew!
Re: I'm going to rant on teen drama now. You've been warned
Live and learn.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
2011 Reading Challenge
If it's any help, I was a pretty good kid but for some reason I turned into a monster the end of my senior year in HS. I think I was stressed by all of the change, ready to get the fvck out of the house but not sure what was in store for me.
I may have been a bigger pain in the ass in 8th grade, but it's definitely a close call.
In all seriousness, I think you just have to let her act like the adult she thinks she is. Once she misses out on financial aid, doesn't have a job and realizes living with her dad and the skank isn't as much fun as she thought it'd be, she'll go back to being a real person. Then you can just bask in all her apologies.
I'm sure this is impossibly hard to let her make all these mistakes (especially since you raised her better) but making those mistakes may be the only way she can really mature and learn how to live like a real adult.
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[QUOTE]Oh I'd be a worse mom, becuase that TV would go away and her computer would b moving down to the family common areas.
Posted by aMrsin09[/QUOTE]
Yes, this is what my parents would have done. Also, my door would be off it's hinges.
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BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm going to rant on teen drama now. You've been warned : Yes, this is what my parents would have done. Also, my door would be off it's hinges.
Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]
Ha, I remember watching my brother carry his tv down the hall and almost dropped it. And then I told my Dad to just take all the cables, duh. Oh, and this was after they shaved his head and put all but 5 shirts, 5 shorts, and 5 underwear, in the garage after finding out he smoked pot.
And my sister, who was 21 and living at home, didn't have a door for a week. It was awesome cause she was being a wench to us younger siblings. I love my parents.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm going to rant on teen drama now. You've been warned : Oh yeah, take her door down! If she's being disrespectful, she doesn't deserved any respect either. She lives under your roof so she's under your rules.
Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]
That just seems harsh to me.
Yeah, I know I can't do this for her, and she needs to fail, but God it's hard to watch. She's never had to work at anything. She's a great student, but it's ridiculously easy for her, so it's not something she takes pride in. She needs a job and some priorities. Neither of which I can do for her.
If I tell her I want her to go with me, she says I'm pushing her. If I tell her I want her to stay with her dad, she says I don't want her anymore. I told her last week that I am absolutely fine with whatever she decides, but I won't be giving my opinion anymore. It's all on her, and any decision she makes is not a favor to me or to her dad. It's a decision for her, by her. Then she said I was making her out to be selfish. It's your LIFE! You get to be selfish when making decisions about it. I can't win!
I read an interesting article on NPR earlier this week about brain growth. Turns out, teen brains are not completely grown, and the frontal lobes are not fully connected until mid-20s. It takes longer for them to access the part of the brain that's required for cognitive thinking and decision making. I just have to remember that.
If anything, the past month has reaffirmed my decision not have more kids. I can only imagine handling this in my mid-40s with Chloe. No FREAKIN way will I attempt it in my damn 50s! This uterus is now closed!
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
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As far as school goes, I used to be soooo angry with my parents for not paying for it and what not because my friends' parents did. Now, I'm grateful that they couldn't help because it taught me about money the hard way. I should have studied harder for my ACT so I could get a scholarship my first year in college but I didn't and I got a lot of debt for that year. After that I pulled it together. Sometimes, it just takes time.
You're raising her right, be proud of yourself.
Books read in 2012: 21/50
They always say watch out for the quiet ones. Boy howdy they are right!
I know it's really got to be rough on you because you put so much on hold with your new marriage to keep normalcy for her. I'm sure it makes you think it wasn't worth it. But don't second guess yourself.......just keep being strong and she'll come around. She'll really look back on this and appreciate how awesome you were/are.
Her latest move was asking the exact date that I started talking to J after her dad left, and she told me this entire family was full of liars and she's sick of being the only one paying for it. I pulled my original email to J, clearly marked well after her dad left. Our first date wasn't until 2.5 months after the email. I told her she was the absolute LAST person who needed to request honesty from anyone, but there it was, just like I've said all along. I also told her I would NEVER defend my lovelife or my decision to move as slowly as I have with J to her or anyone ever again. She'd have to find a new reason to hate me, because she's the only liar in the family and she'll continue to be punished for it as long as she lies.
It's been a hard month.