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Etiquette

WDYT? Long Sorry TMI

I am too embarrassed to talk to a friend about this.  Sooo I guess I am confiding in internet strangers.  My FI and I made a homemade video ---> just a little backstory for you.FI just got home from a business trip last night and when he got in, he said he was going to go take a shower.  45 minutes go by and I called his name... then I heard the water start.  I decided to join him in the shower and the door is locked.  It struck me as odd.  So, he opened the door and I said WTF?  Why is the door locked?  We never lock the door.  Then when I went into our bedroom after I saw that our movie was in the vcr.  Turns out he was jerking off to our homemade video.  Why wouldn't he just have sex with me instead?Is this not messed up?  I asked him why he did it and he said that he assumed that since it was so late I wouldn't want to do it, i don't think I buy it.
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Re: WDYT? Long Sorry TMI

  • So wait. You're upset he's jacking off to a video ya'll made?

  • he is jerking off to a video of YOU. At least it wasn't a regular porn.  I find it weird he would feel the need to hide it from you...BUT i honestly think sometimes men just want a quick fix.  There have been times where I have secretly helped myself out without DH knowing because I just felt like it.
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  • That is weird that he wouldn't have just had sex with you.  But, at least it was to your home video.  I would tell him that you wish he would have had sex with you instead... but I wouldn't worry about it.

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  • I really don't see a problem with it. Guys jerk off. Several times a day, sometimes. This is a fact of life.
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  • I am not thrown off by him jerking off.  I just don't see why he wouldn't have wanted to do it with me after 5 days of not seeing each other.  He chose his 2 hands over me. 
  • You're the one who's parents hooked up right?  Long time, no see.Maybe he was tired.  It takes a lot more effort to do it with you than to do it himself.

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  • Thanks guys.  I *kind of* feel better now.
  • Yes, that was me.  His dad is getting his vysectomy reversed so they can have a baby.  He goes in a couple weeks actually.  They did a JOP wedding on July 11th.  Just them and us.  It was nice actually. 
  • To get a guys perspective fi just read this and he says: "Well thats dumb. He should have just taken 5 seconds to ask her if she wanted to have sex and if she said no then he should have just said, ok well I'm going to jerk off to our video." He also says:"I don't get what she (meaning you) doesn't "buy". He probably was just in the mood to blow off some steam and thought you were tired and just wanted to solve the problem himself. Since its a video of them, it shouldn't be a big deal."
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  • If it makes you feel any better, I'm in a LDR with FI, and sometimes we go for months without seeing each other. When we do get together, things don't always happen right away - sometimes not until the next morning, depending on tiredness. It doesn't mean anything bad.
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  • Ditto pp. I don't think it's that big of a deal. Guys do that constantly, and maybe you said something like "man, I'm tired" or anything along that nature, he just coulda been like, well, I'll just take care of myself then. No worries!
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  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Maybe he just wanted to last longer when you actually had sex?Also... he jerks off with 2 hands?
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  • Why did it take him 45 minutes to finish?
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
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  • Do you smell that, B?

  • MrsBnumbers - He lasts so long all the time.  Nebb - I don't know if he uses both hands.  I was just saying that.
  • scotty - yup
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
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    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • So, HR, how do you pass the time and can you walk after?  Or do you lots of long foreplay and then wait until the last few minutes to actually have sex?
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • Hi B!Yeah, I think the weird thing in the scenario is not that he was jerking off to a tape of you, but that he was in there for 45 minutes.  After about 15 min, I probably wondered what was up.  Boys usually don't take long showers.
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  • In the words of the OP: i don't think I buy it.

  • Why is it so hard to believe that it takes my FI long?  It's quicker when we actually do it, but he always takes long when he's doing the one man show.Not to backtrack, but it could have been 30 minutes.  Whatever it was, it was awhile.
  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I think if it takes him 45 minutes to successfully jerk off, hes doing it wrong.
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  • I was folding laundry and watching seinfeld reruns, so I got kind of side tracked.  That's why I went upstairs to see what was going on once I realized it'd been awhile.  He's also a water waster and sometimes will have 20 minute showers.
  • This reminds me of a joke about some old folks in a home and how the man was happy to be dating a woman with Parkinsons.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • I think if it takes him 45 minutes to successfully jerk off, hes doing it wrong.LOL.Do you think he was doing something else?  What could he have been doing?  Now I am even more paranoid.
  • Hi, sucrets!
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • maybe he was unpacking
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • You're probably right MrsB06.  I can't remember if he his suitcase was empty when I went to the bedroom.  He's unpacked now.  However, he could have done that while I was out having brunch with the girls.
  • maybe he was unpacking yeah B, the load in his pants!

  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Was he in the bathroom the whole time? Maybe he was grooming his man parts?
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  • I would find that hot, sorry.
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