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What is the Etiquette?

thealphabridethealphabride
1000 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I would like to invite my brother's children to be the banner carriers in our wedding. (Meaning: each carry a side of the "Here Comes the Bride Banner")Am I obligated to buy their attire for the wedding in this case? I have already ordered them a bout and a wrist corsage, but I don't know the etiquette about the attire. Thanks!
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Re: What is the Etiquette?

  • thealphabridethealphabride
    1000 Comments
    Sorry, a few extra details: I am not having a flower girl or ring bearer and my niece will be 12, and my nephew will be 14 at the time of the wedding.
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  • georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
    5000 Comments
    The whole banner matter aside, I would just ask your brother if he's comfortable paying for their attire, and if not, then you can pay for it.
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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    5000 Comments
    You could do that, but then you might be obligated to buy dresses for the dove releasing girls and tuxes for the footmen carrying you to the alter.  That sounds kind of expensive.
    image

    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

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  • ac_in_dcac_in_dc member
    2500 Comments
    No, you don't have to buy clothes for them.  But since they're not official bridal party members, I don't think you can dictate what they wear, either.
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  • sarah0725sarah0725
    5000 Comments
    You're having a 12-year old and a 14-year old walk in carrying a banner that says "Here Comes the Bride"? Have you thought about what that might do to their street cred?
    imageimage
    Our Story MAJORLY UPDATED 8/6/09
    Wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?
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  • shagadelk7shagadelk7 member
    100 Comments
    A banner that says "Here comes the Bride?" You're kidding right?I can't be the only one who find this amusing.
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  • ggmaeggmae member
    5000 Comments
    No.
    image
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  • MeaghanandMichaelMeaghanandMichael
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Welll, my niece and nephew were 14 and I think they would have been offended to carry a here comes the bride sign. I wouldn't have done that to them either. We just made them jr. bm and a groomsmen. They loved it.
    image
    RAWR!

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  • wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    A...banner?They're 12 and 14?I think you've lost your mind.  It's ok.  It's more common than people think when it comes to weddings.  But you need to find it again before you end up with a ridiculous wedding.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Are you worried that no one will realize you're the bride? 

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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  • shagadelk7shagadelk7 member
    100 Comments
    You do realize that 14 year olds are typically freshmen in high school right? Random high school kid: So man, what are you doing this weekend? Niece/Nephew: Oh you know, just carrying a banner down the aisle at my aunt's wedding that says "here comes the bride' .....as your nephew gets kicked in the junk....
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  • thealphabridethealphabride
    1000 Comments
    Just considering the idea, I thought it was cute. I am not dictating what anyone is wearing. Including my bridesmaids who are my 2 sisters, and the only attendants on my side. They have fab taste and are both georgous and will pick something tasteful to go with my attire.
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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    5000 Comments
    Are you worried that no one will realize you're the bride? HA!!  "Hey Fred, where is the bride?  And who's that chick in the puffy dress?  Is she blocking the bride?  I think she's blocking the bride.  HEY LADY, MOVE!"
    image

    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Bad idea.
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  • eastunder1eastunder1
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    People do "here comes the bride" banners?No.  This has to be a joke, right?  People don't actually do this.  I refuse to believe it.  Is there a high school marching band right behind them playing here comes the bride as well?Baton twirlers?Mascots?

    image

    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    5000 Comments
    Just considering the idea, I thought it was cute. For 4 or 5 year olds, possibly.  For 14 year olds, not so much.
    image

    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

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  • shagadelk7shagadelk7 member
    100 Comments
    Cute for a kid that is between the ages of say....3 and 6. Emotionally scarring for any other age...
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  • wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    Oh thanks a lot East.  Now I'm thinking I need baton twirlers.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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  • SwedishChick2011SwedishChick2011
    2500 Comments
    A "Here Comes the Bride" banner sounds really dumb to me.  I'm pretty sure people are going to know who you are. 
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  • shagadelk7shagadelk7 member
    100 Comments
    Note the ages of the children in the above picture.
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  • sarah0725sarah0725
    5000 Comments
    Maybe you should not worry about clothes, and just have them walk down the aisle in their underpants. Might as well.
    imageimage
    Our Story MAJORLY UPDATED 8/6/09
    Wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?
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  • wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    Even at 3 and 6 it's kinda a cheesy idea.Really.  A banner.  A freakin' banner.Just say no.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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  • SwedishChick2011SwedishChick2011
    2500 Comments
    Oh wait, she's not just any bride, she's the "alpha" bride.  That's probably why she needs a banner.
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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Now I'm wondering.  Because, well, I'm kind of short.  And I'm thinking that people won't notice me.  Because I'm short.  So...a marching band, baton twirlers, and a banner might be a good thing.  OP, are you short?

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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  • shagadelk7shagadelk7 member
    100 Comments
    I think Emily Post might have a chapter devoted to Etiquette of Banners. No? You've got to be kidding me.
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  • eastunder1eastunder1
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Ok, if you're having a $400,000 blow out wedding with every single kind of extravagance you can think of in a glam hall with oodles of flowers and crystals and stupid amounts of bling, some little kids carrying some sparkly banner may be cute.  And fitting.  Why not?  You've brought in Rolls Royces and Swarovski crystal trees.  Why not do a banner announcing that youre going to walk down the aisle now?  It matches the stupid excess.  For the rest of us though, I think a banner coming down your church aisle is just going to look stupid. 

    image

    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
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  • eastunder1eastunder1
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    What a perfectly timed picture. 

    image

    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
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  • fangsitingfangsiting
    500 Comments
    oh wow.  If I saw a banner at a wedding, I would have to leave the church because I would be laughing so hard. 
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  • thealphabridethealphabride
    1000 Comments
    I knew you girls would give me your honest opinions and not tell me what I want to hear. Thanks. I am seriously rethinking the idea. BUT, I will have no more attendants,  they will have to be included in the wedding in another way. There are only 3 children in our extended family and my son is escorting me down the isle. I don't want to leave the cousins out, but absolutely don't want more than 2 attendants.
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  • shagadelk7shagadelk7 member
    100 Comments
    The thing people think up to try to include extra people in their wedding party blows my mind...
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