What is the Etiquette?

shagadelk7 · August 2009

Just don't include them. And please, please don't use them as guest book attendants. That's insulting as hell, IMO.

wadingmoose · August 2009

Then don't include them in the wedding. They'll thank you in 10 years. Trust me.Seriously, when I was a teenager, the last thing I wanted to do was be IN a wedding.

J&K10910 · August 2009

Does the groom get a banner too? because it's his wedding too.alpha, you're a good sport. In all seriousness, maybe they can do a reading. Just please don't make them carry a banner, man a guestbook table, guard the gifts, or hand out programs.

sarah0725 · August 2009

Why are you so set on not having more attendants? Really, what is the difference anyway? Either they come down the aisle as JR BM and GM, not carrying anything, and are proud and happy. Or they march sheepishly down the aisle not looking at anyone because somebody made them carry a daft banner. Which sounds better to you?

eastunder1 · August 2009

I think the groom should get his own banner that says "I'm standing here." He should get to point out the obvious too.

SwedishChick2011 · August 2009

Alpha, could you have your brother's kids be program and/or guestbook attendants? Is 14 too young to be an usher? It might work.

NuggetBrain · August 2009

Yeah I was thinking about the whole "reading" thing too. Or recite a poem or something.

SwedishChick2011 · August 2009

OK, I retract my idea about guestbook attendant. That would be pretty lame, I guess.

J&K10910 · August 2009

Alpha, could you have your brother's kids be program and/or guestbook attendants?No, no, no, don't do this. But an usher, they could do that. I don't think 14 is too young for that.

eastunder1 · August 2009

I promise, promise, promise you that 14 year old boys don't want to be in charge of guarding the guest book. Pinky Swear.

thealphabride · August 2009

You girls never disapoint me!!!! thanks for the chuckle, thanks for the double chuckle!!!!!!!!No, it's not a huge extraviganza....... It's my second wedding after many years of being very happily single, and raising my child......I am about as opposite of the brat brides (beebees) one can be. I kinda like the underpants idea though.

ootmother2 · August 2009

1) It's AISLE2) you are having your young son escort you? Not appropriate at all3) a normal teenager would rather die than do this.4) wrist corsages went out in the 60s

NuggetBrain · August 2009

I vote for doing a reading, or being an usher. That way they can be involved, without having to put a ton of time in or carry wierd objects.

thealphabride · August 2009

Great views ladies, again thanks for the laughs. I am on a serious budget and more attendants = more $. I am not having guest book attendant, or any attendants of any of these things. I think the guests can probably figure out they should sign the book. Maybe my niece can hand out programs (although I am seriously considering why I need these) and my nephew can be an usher. Although the banner idea was circus "ish" I though it would be cute, but you girls are right it is ridiculous.Just was bored and looking for some laughs at the end of a boring day.. and you girls never fail to deliver. Oh, and it is not at all inappropriate for my son to escort me down the isle. It is not against etiquitte, and many second brides have their children or fathers escort them.

sarah0725 · August 2009

Why would there be a difference in how much it would cost you to have them as jr attendants vs. having them as wacko banner carriers? Wouldn't you pay for their flowers/appreciation gifts either way?

eastunder1 · August 2009

I also don't see the problem with having your son escort you down the aisle. I don't get it. Lots of people have their dads, or brothers, or other important people in their life do it. Why not your son?

anna.oskar · August 2009

AND... Since i'm late to this conve. Here's how dorky it looks when older people carry a bride banner

sarah0725 · August 2009

Anna, that picture rocks my socks.

thealphabride · August 2009

OMG ANNA!!!!!! Thank you for posting that, I'm LMAO right now........thank you.....it is official....the banner idea is a train wreck!!!

thealphabride · August 2009

As a joke the groom always points his finger to his head and pretends he's blowing it off when we talk about the wedding. It always makes me laugh and I am not offended .....ahem, people in our age group are somewhat cynical about marriage. I think a pic of a gun pointed to the grooms head should be his banner!!!!

wadingmoose · August 2009

I'm not sure what you're age group is but... yeah.

wadingmoose · August 2009

Wait. Are you really getting married on Sept 11th?

thealphabride · August 2009

easterunder...yes, many people do this and contrary to ootmother comment, my son is VERY excited to be escorting his mom in her wedding. Then he is standing up with the groom and the groom's son who is the best man, and also a teen. The only attendants on the groom's side. OOTMOTHER I liked you better when you were correcting my typos.

thealphabride · August 2009

Yes, September 11th...long story, but basically the only date I could get the venue I wanted.

wadingmoose · August 2009

There's probably a reason for that.

MeaghanandMichael · August 2009

See, as some one who watched her divorced sister place WAY too much emphasis that her 15 year old son be the 'man of the house,' the fact that your son is walking you down irks me the wrong way. Obviously I have no way of knowing what your intentions are, or if they are even close to my sister's, but I could see her doing this exact thing and I would think it was horribly inappropriate. Kids need to be kids, not act as the party responsible for theirs mother's journey down the aisle towards marriage. OOT has a point.

thealphabride · August 2009

Yes.

wadingmoose · August 2009

I kinda agree with Meghan, actually. You're an adult at this point. If you truly feel that you need to follow this tradition, then find your ex husband. Your Dad gave you to him the first time, he's yours to hand you over this time.Which is why I'm kinda sticking with the "I'm a big girl and I can walk myself down the aisle."

thealphabride · August 2009

Megan...You are right, you don't know my circumstances. My son is not the man of MY house. Those words were never spoken to my son (you are now the man of the house etc...) He is my child and I am responsible for him and everthing about him. I am responsible for running my house. You are very right.. he is a kid. And I understand why this can irk you. I am the King and Queen of my castle, that I bought and paid for with my own money. Not from a divorce settlement, there was none. He knows his place in my life. It is certainly not to be the responsible party sending me on a journey...... that is OBSURD!!! He is escorting me down the isle to have the most HONORED place in our wedding. It is what it is. I could have walked alone or with FI. BUT I am giving my son what I consider to be the most honored position in our wedding. He is thrilled about it. These are my intentions, and I understand why you would feel that way after watching your sister treat a child as a "MAN" .

thealphabride · August 2009

moose....actually my father did not "give" me to my first husband, I wouldn't allow anyone to "give me away" After my ex started physically and mentally abusing me, I left him in a heartbeat when our son was 2. I raised him on my own. So I certainly wouldn't look him up to give me away at our wedding. Now that baby is going to be 14 and ESCORT his mother down the isle for her wedding. The most honored position in his view, and I am more than happy to give it to him.

What is the Etiquette?

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