Web MD

shanwalk2 · August 2009

audrey - do you sleep in your makeup too so he doesn't see you "undone"???

Brie2010 · August 2009

I don't mind the idea of my FI/DH not being in the room, but labor can get pretty serious, medically speaking. I'd want him at least in the waiting room in case there was any sort of medical emergency that necessitated his consent, either for me or for our child. Not schnockered up in a bar somewhere.

nda_roxybabe · August 2009

Yea, how does your husband feel? He doesn't want to see the baby all brand spanking new?

nda_roxybabe · August 2009

Shan- I know someone who most likely does that

crfische · August 2009

I would be pissed to the high heavens if I was pushing a human being out of a pea sized whole and he was at the bar gettin' blitzed. And I think my dad and brothers would probably kill him too.

ggmae · August 2009

It did, Fishy! Gross huh?

crfische · August 2009

Ugh! That's super gross!

WildRumpus · August 2009

GG, what was the explanation for that? Was it her twin or a miscarried embryo or something? That's so weird...

Audrey_03 · August 2009

Of course he gets a say. We talked about it... he's afraid of needles as it is. He'd rather miss the gory part, and I don't need anyone there "for support". The point though is... you *do* poop. Things get all kinds of weird shapes... There will be a zillion doctors, nurses, residents, and a parade of other people all wanting to come in and shove their hand up your hoo-hah every 15 minutes. It's stressful and awkward enough without having to worry about additional people in the room. I never said it was wrong to have other people in the room if you want it... I'm saying *I* don't want it, that's all.

shanwalk2 · August 2009

I would just assume that being there when your wife delivers your child would trump your fear of needles... hmmm....

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt · August 2009

A. This is a disgusting thread :)B. I think that the end result is totally worth whatever disgusting-ness happens during delivery of a child.C. I think there are many more mortifying things that happen during childbirth than pooping. At least your FI poops also, so he can relate to that one piece of it.D. I think that if FI/DH is allowed to be active in the "audience participation" piece of the conception process, he should also be present for the grand finale. Know what I mean? And if you can't handle him at least in the room, then you're probably not ready for all the disgusting, immodest, embarassing, wonderful things that come with having children.

ggmae · August 2009

Man, when I deliver one day, I'll be bummed if I am in there alone with a bunch of doctors and nurses that I don't know. I really want DH and my mom in there with me. I know they both wouldn't miss it for the world.

crfische · August 2009

I think I got past "looking presentable" to scott when I had the flu and shat and projectile vomited simultaneously while screaming and crying yelling for help. We're waaaaayyyy past looking presentable.

nda_roxybabe · August 2009

My mom and T would be so upset if they missed it. And my mom hates stuff like that...

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt · August 2009

FI wouldn't miss it for the world. And he's not a fan of blood or needles. I would feel exceptionally lonely experiencing that without someone I love there with me. And even if FI absolutely didn't want to do that, his devotion to me and our child would trump whatever fears/disgusts he might have.

WildRumpus · August 2009

FI has already told me he plans on not only being in the room, but will probably be down there watching the action. I'm so over "looking presentable" with him...I've thrown up on him, so I think we're past that.

ggmae · August 2009

Jill - It was a dermoid cyst that had been growing on her ovary since she was in utero. No fetal twin or anything. Apparently it's more common than people think. Audrey - Are you talking about the whole process in general or just the delivery? You said needle and I only know of a needle being used for the epidural, not during delivery.

peachkins · August 2009

Everybody poops.

Audrey_03 · August 2009

ggmae, At this point, does it matter if I clarify? I think we've firmly established that I'm alone on this topic (and am therefore wrong). FI cannot stand the sight of blood, can't look at needles, etc. If he'd rather not be in there for the festivities, I'm 100% cool with that, because even if he were the kind of guy who could field dress a deer, I would still prefer to labor and deliver with necessary personnel only (doctor, nurse). I don't care if it's weird or if other people don't agree... that's just how I like it, and it's double bonus that FI is on board. If he wanted to be there, I'd be fine with that. It wouldn't be a perfect world scenario, but it's not like I'd die.

Brie2010 · August 2009

Audrey, I really don't meant to antagonize you about this, but are you serious about him being in a bar during it all? Would you at least want him in the waiting room in case of some emergency, god forbid?

peachkins · August 2009

I'll leave it up to FI whether he wants to be there or not when his child is born- I certainly hope he would- but my mom is coming either way. I wouldn't want to be without my mommy. But, to each her own.

ggmae · August 2009

Audrey - You aren't wrong. It's just a different take on things and I've never heard it before, so I was just wondering the reasoning that's all.

louisvillebride21 · August 2009

What do you all think of you MIL being in there? I told FI that I wanted my mom in there and he was like what about my mom? He thinks she would be hurt if my mom got to be there and not her. I think he looks at it like its a privilage to be there whereas I look at it as...I want my mommy... What do you think?

peachkins · August 2009

Honestly, I probably wouldn't want my MIL there. She's a little too manic and I think I'd be much more stressed out. No, I want MY mommy.

louisvillebride21 · August 2009

That's how I feel too. I think she'd be a little high stress and stress me out even more. I don't know what I'll do. I'll probably just let her in there anyway, I don't imagine I'll notice too much how many people are in there. I imagine I'll be focused on getting that human out of my vag.

Audrey_03 · August 2009

Oy. He can be where ever he likes. I'm sure he'll be somewhere nearby, and if it's midnight, and nothing else is open and there's a bar near the hospital where he (and probably his brother) can hang out and kill time, then I don't see the problem. He's not a kid. He can have a beer or two and not get "schnockered" just because he's at a bar. He'd be there more to relax and pass time than anything else. When it's go time, I'll text him or give him a call and let him know. If he wants to head over to the hospital and come in the room, that's fine. If he wants to come over and sit in the waiting room, that's fine, too. There's no need to sit around for the 12 hours of passive labor watching me take a nap or watch TV. As for making life or death decisions, you sign consents and other paperwork either before or as soon as you get to the hospital, so even if something goes very very badly, very fast, there's nothing he'd need to make a decision about were I to become incapacitated. Plus, you have that discussion with your doctor ahead of time, too. That way there's no questions.

nda_roxybabe · August 2009

Audrey- You just make it sounds so sterile and medicinal instead of the natural beautiful (digusting) miracle that it is.T really thinks his mom should be there. I'm not sure how I feel about that but as he pointed out it will be her grandbaby too...we will see.

blenderdance · August 2009

As of right now, with kids still awhile in the future, DH says that he will not be in the room, but he will wait outside. He gets sick at the sight of gross stuff (like can't even clean up the dogs' vomit) so I am thinking it might be better if he is not in the room anyway...then I will be worried about whether or not he is going to throw up on me or pass out, and I think I will have more pressing concerns at the time. He may change his mind, but regardless, my mom and my best friend will both be there (hopefully...I suppose if it is too quick DH will have to suck it up because I won't be alone, but I don't think I will be that lucky :-))

louisvillebride21 · August 2009

I think I'd be ok with just about anyone being there...as long as they are sitting down and shutting up in the corner of the room or something. I just don't want them all up in my face or anything. I've never been to a delivery or anything, but thats kind of what I'm worried she would be doing. The only person I want in my face is FI. I say that now, but who knows if I'll even want him right there when I'm in the middle of everything.

blenderdance · August 2009

Oh, and no chance in hell is my MIL going to be in there...happy to see her right after, but I would kill her during.

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