Marriage Certificate Already Signed,

Viczaesar · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_marriage-certificate-already-signed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3266739a-1946-446b-a204-f57faa0acbddPost:dd87add4-5888-402f-bfb2-c565e4f491ae">Re: Marriage Certificate Already Signed,</a>:
[QUOTE]"Tell your parents, because lying to them to get their money is stealing. Cancel your wedding, because you are already married. Invite people to a fun party to celebrate. Choices have consequences" Harsh and uncalled for Starmoon! It sounds like the couple did what they had to do so their health would be covered, I'd personally hate to have my wedding be a legal thing at a court wearing jeans and a t-shirt and not being able to follow through with what I had originally planned! I don't think you need to cancel your wedding but since your folks money is involved, YOU NEED TO TELL THEM. Be prepared that they may not want to contribute as much or at all, but if you sit down and explain your situation they may be understanding, but do be prepared that you may need to cover the costs of your wedding ceremony. I do not want a courthouse wedding and if I was forced into one, I'd want the religious church ceremony friends and family involved, so I understand why you'd want to do this, but BE OPEN AND HONEST, don't lie to anyone.
Posted by Amyzen83[/QUOTE]
Actually neither harsh nor uncalled for. You cannot get married twice without a divorce in between.

MoxieMickie · March 2013

amyzen. Don't worry. In the US you cannot be forced to have a courthouse wedding. The marriage would be invalid and the person holding the gun to your head wouldn't get past the metal detectors. If a couple decides the benefits of marriage are more important than having the big party, they can choose to get married anywhere and, like grown ups, have to live with the positive and negative consequences.

Amyzen83 · March 2013

"Go to the thread below this one and read what Pele and Stage wrote about legal marriage (page 2-3 of that thread). Don't hate on courthouse weddings, the legal ramifications and protections from such a ceremony are nothing to scoff at."

OK, first of all, not trying to scoff at courthouse weddings, but for me personally I have to say my vows in a church setting before God, and would be upset if people were telling me I couldn't do that because i had to get married legally to get health benefits. I guess they should have done the domestic partnership thing, I get that. Not everyone can QUALIFY for independant coverage. When I lost my job and got a contract job, I kept getting denied for pre-existing conditions I didn't even have, but I had to go through all these hoops and when I finally did get independant coverage, it was the crappiest insurance policy with a super high deductable I may as well have saved the monthly premiums and not have even had coverage, it was that bad. So I genuinely feel for people who want to do what is necessary to get joint coverage. If getting married legally to someone you are planning to marry anyway is the case then do it.

But telling them that them that wanting to have a nice ceremony in front of friends and family the way they had already planned and probubly already invested $$ into is rude and selfish, I think is a bit judgy. What IS wrong is lying to people and that I agree with.

katybaze · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_marriage-certificate-already-signed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3266739a-1946-446b-a204-f57faa0acbddPost:0aab0bac-f77f-47b9-87c4-70eea8dca265">Marriage Certificate Already Signed,</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi, I'm sure I'm not the first person to have done this. My fiance(/husband) and I got engaged last September and our wedding is this September. When his job cut his hours, he lost his medical benefits. I have good benefits and I worry about him, so I added him to mine. In order to do so we had to get legally married, so we went down to the courthouse last month and signed our marriage certificate. So, we're married in the eyes of the government already. We haven't told any of our family and I'm worried that my parents will withdraw their financial support of the wedding if we do tell them, but it's going to come up at the ceremony! I know I'm not the first person who's done this, so does anyone have any suggestions on how to approach it with the family? Any suggestions would be great, thank you!
Posted by HannaB13[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I gotta say I'm completely perplexed as to why so many responded to this by telling you to 'cancel your wedding' Who the heck are THEY to judge you so? Many many couples get 'legally married' for insurance reasons & that's FINE, it does NOT mean that you should cxl your ACTUAL wedding, a day I'm sure you've dreamed of!! I think you should tell your parents, let them know that you & your guy decided to make an 'insurance decision' & that you are excited to be 'properly married' with your families (& God if that applies) I'm sure your parents would understand that. You have nothing to feel bad about & hope you didn't get too upset by the close-minded responses you got to your inquiry :)

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Marriage Certificate Already Signed,

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