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chelseamb11
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I have a shoe problem..
Sorry to be a PW but I feel rather stuck.
From day one, I told my BMs that I would be covering their shoes because I knew I was going to be control freak about them all matching. When talking to them about it last fall (so like 7 or 8 months ago), I mentioned my plan was to get them each a brand new pair of oldnavy flip flops because it's within budget, but then people would all match (which is what I wanted).
Fast forward to today, FSIL e-mails me she thinks the flip flops are inappropriate for the ceremony because of it being a Catholic Church and it will likely cause drama with FMIL and FI's grandparents. She suggested we go with a nicer strappy sandal. I don't know why in the heck nobody brought this up MONTHS ago.
Idk what to do now, because shoes like that are out of budget at this point, even if I were to return all the flip flops. I already told them I'd cover their shoes, so I feel bad backing out now and saying they need to provide their own. I'm okay with them all just using shoes they have that are all the same color (silver...just different styles) but I don't know if everyone has silver shoes and I'd feel bad asking them to buy some just for the wedding.
But I also don't want to be disrespectful. I figured since the shoes were going to be brand new and completely clean that we'd be okay.
Any advice would be extremely appreciated.
From day one, I told my BMs that I would be covering their shoes because I knew I was going to be control freak about them all matching. When talking to them about it last fall (so like 7 or 8 months ago), I mentioned my plan was to get them each a brand new pair of oldnavy flip flops because it's within budget, but then people would all match (which is what I wanted).
Fast forward to today, FSIL e-mails me she thinks the flip flops are inappropriate for the ceremony because of it being a Catholic Church and it will likely cause drama with FMIL and FI's grandparents. She suggested we go with a nicer strappy sandal. I don't know why in the heck nobody brought this up MONTHS ago.
Idk what to do now, because shoes like that are out of budget at this point, even if I were to return all the flip flops. I already told them I'd cover their shoes, so I feel bad backing out now and saying they need to provide their own. I'm okay with them all just using shoes they have that are all the same color (silver...just different styles) but I don't know if everyone has silver shoes and I'd feel bad asking them to buy some just for the wedding.
But I also don't want to be disrespectful. I figured since the shoes were going to be brand new and completely clean that we'd be okay.
Any advice would be extremely appreciated.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I have a shoe problem..
I'd tell the girls to wear whatever shoes they have that go with the dress and let go of the "they have to match each other!!!" mentality.
Payless also has super cheap shoes. I don't know how much Old Navy flip flops are, but Payless would probably have shoes for each girl at ~$20. Not too awful.
"Halloween may have loose women scantily clad...
But Christmas has a pregnant virgin.
Way cooler." - anna.oskar
Let go of the need to matching shoes and ask them all to wear black or silver shoes. If someone is uncomfortable with it, help pay at that time. Like you said, most people probably have a pair of shoes they can wear though.
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If for some reason some of the girls don't have shoes, or you're not OK with different colors, payless has several strappy shoes that would be 'wedding appropriate' for under $20.00.
http://www.payless.com/store/catalog/subsubcategory.jsp?catId=cat10088&subCatId=cat10289&trail=1016:cat10289&pageSize=20
Payless is a great idea.. and they often have BOGO, so I could maybe swing it. If not, I can just ask them if they have silver sandals and if one or two people dont, then I can just cover it for them. The dresses are navy with a pink sash, so silver would be much better than black.
Teachery Blog
Just relinquish the control on this, Chels. It's only shoes. Let them pick out whatever shoes - silver or whatever - they want to wear. They can be as expensive or as cheap as they like. Shoes don't need to break the bank, they can hit up Payless or something.
[QUOTE]I honestly don't know what I was thinking. I had one BM try the shoes on with her dress and it looked really cute. Payless is a great idea.. and they often have BOGO, so I could maybe swing it. If not, I can just ask them if they have silver sandals and if one or two people dont, then I can just cover it for them. The dresses are navy with a pink sash, so silver would be much better than black.
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]
ok not to complicate the matters or sound snobby (I am not, I just have sensitive feet), perhaps you get them the payless ones for the ceremony and let them wear flip flops for the reception? I've never had a good experience with payless heels. They always kill after a couple of hours so I stopped going there a long time ago. But if you are only having them wear them down the aisle and in church it may be ok.
I know some people swear by Payless- it's NEVER worked for me..
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I have a shoe problem.. : ok not to complicate the matters or sound snobby (I am not, I just have sensitive feet), perhaps you get them the payless ones for the ceremony and let them wear flip flops for the reception? I've never had a good experience with payless heels. They always kill after a couple of hours so I stopped going there a long time ago. But if you are only having them wear them down the aisle and in church it may be ok. I know some people swear by Payless- it's NEVER worked for me..
Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]
That's what I was thinking. As soon as the ceremony is done, they can switch into the flip flops I got and be comfortable.
Teachery Blog
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I have a shoe problem.. : That's what I was thinking. As soon as the ceremony is done, they can switch into the flip flops I got and be comfortable.
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]
so... maybe asking them to wear their own silver or black shoes won't be a big deal? They could even switch before the photos after the ceremony!
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I have a shoe problem.. : That's what I was thinking. As soon as the ceremony is done, they can switch into the flip flops I got and be comfortable.
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]
Oh yeah. Flip-flops for reception? totally fine. flip-flops for ceremony in church and formal pictures? nope.
Are the dresses floor-length? Because you'll never see shoes anyway. If they're shorter, I wouldn't want to see the flip-flops.
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honestly- i would just let them wear whatever at this point- it's not worth stressing over.
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Teachery Blog
[QUOTE]Chel DSW is having a sale that ends tonight that gives you $20.00 on three pair of shoes. How many BMs do you have?
Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]
6! a perfect multiple of 3 :) thanks for the heads up!
Teachery Blog
[QUOTE]The dresses are just past the knee, so shoes will be seen. Honestly at this point I don't care if they match, I just feel bad backing out on providing shoes when I told them I would. That's my bigger concern. But I've already talked to two of them and they're totally cool about it (which I knew they would be). So I should be okay.
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]
If you don't care about matching then they should be able to just use shoes they already have. No big.
[QUOTE]Are you going to require they wear matching shoes at the reception? If I brought my own heels to the ceremony and then you asked me to switch to ON plastic and foam flip flops, I would keep my heels on. I hate those things.
Posted by kimheartsscott[/QUOTE]
<div>This crossed my mind too. It's fine to have the ON flip flops on hand in case any of them want to change shoes, but I wouldn't require it. Once the reception starts, the WPs "jobs" (for lack of a better word) are done and they should just be allowed to have fun like any other guest, IMO. </div>
[QUOTE]The dresses are just past the knee, so shoes will be seen. Honestly at this point I don't care if they match, I just feel bad backing out on providing shoes when I told them I would. That's my bigger concern. But I've already talked to two of them and they're totally cool about it (which I knew they would be). So I should be okay.
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]
I am not at all trying to be mean or judgey- but did you really offer to "provide shoes" and then buy them $2 flip flops from ON? Is this part of your bridal gift to them? Again- if they were aware of this- it's probably nothing but were they thinking you were buying them actual shoes?
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I did want my flower girls to wear specific shoes, lol. Which I understand is kinda stupid. They wore ivory dresses with tulle skirts, with wine colored sashes. I told my SILs they they could pick whatever shoes, but I wanted them dyed wine to match the sash. And they showed up at the wedding with un-dyed shoes. But they were still adorable. Shoes, in the big picture, are NBD
[QUOTE]One of my BMs is wearing these. <a href="http://www.dsw.com/shoe/madden+girl+laylaa+sandal?prodId=246095&category=dsw12cat1190020" rel="nofollow">http://www.dsw.com/shoe/madden+girl+laylaa+sandal?prodId=246095&category=dsw12cat1190020</a>
Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]
Dot I LOVE those.