Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Memory Candle question

Okay my fiance's best friend(practically his brother) died in may our wedding is not till 2011 but I keep wondering about this. I don't know what to do. I saw a really pretty memory candle I would like to get but I don't know what to do with it... I've seen that some ppl leave them outside by the guest book. Should I do that? Should I incorporate it into the wedding? I kinda want to but I don't want everyone to get upset... Ugh what to do...

Re: Memory Candle question

  • Wait until 3-6 months before the wedding. This is still really raw for your FI, and he's not going to be ok to really think about his friend and the wedding yet. As you get closer, and he's had another year or so to heal, bring it up with your FI and see how he's like to handle it. We did one for my brother at the ceremony. It was on a small table in the church in front of the unity candle. My mom lit it when she lit the unity candle. If he had a spouse or sibling that will be on the guest list, maybe you could have that person come up and light it at the beginning of the ceremony before the mothers are seated.
  • We are going to have his daughter as our flower girl she will be about 3 by then. I was thinking of maybe having her light it (with the help of an adult obviously) but im not sure.... Its just hard because you know he was always supposed to be his best man and now that can't happen so when we talk about who we are picking for brides maids and the ppl he wants to pick he just can't think of anybody... idk what to do.
  • Wait at least a year and then let FI decide what if anything he wants done. Not your friend and not your choice and not a choice that should be made until much closer as pain heals
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