Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant!

nda_roxybabe · December 2010

Oh, and how its in quotes?

squirrly · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-she-tell-she-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b74c8693-8007-48f1-8a07-a2758efd933dPost:979d131c-848d-41e4-9d6c-823a6bd5ed42">Re: Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant!</a>:
[QUOTE]ok as far as the backwoods country white trash comment I was unaware that anything i said on my original post waranted a rant like that. Its not like i said I wanted to kick her out or the nerve of her I was simply asking what would be the right course of action so I dont know what part of my photo that states the things you say they do but Im not the one trying to start drama on an internet web post. Thats where ill leave that.
Posted by schumacherwedding2011[/QUOTE]

Breathe. That was something somebody said to Roxy MONTHS ago (and they were banned for it). She thought it was funny, and it's been in her sig ever since. She wasn't insulting you.

nda_roxybabe · December 2010

Squirrly- How dare you post a picture of a sweet potato to me! How rude!

ootmother2 · December 2010

hehy, I've known roxy for years and I know that she's WT and half hill billy.

You wanna make something out of that?

nda_roxybabe · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-she-tell-she-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b74c8693-8007-48f1-8a07-a2758efd933dPost:7559da6c-6b2e-4d8e-b76a-389997a3c060">Re: Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant!</a>:
[QUOTE]hehy, I've known roxy for years and I know that she's WT and half hill billy. You wanna make something out of that?
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]
:( It's true...thats why I can't come visit you. I'm too much of a hillbilly. That and the fact that you had blue balls..

squirrly · December 2010

Just you wait Roxy. It'll be a MANGO in a couple of days. I've got a lot of nerve, I know.

nda_roxybabe · December 2010

How rude! :P

ootmother2 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-she-tell-she-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b74c8693-8007-48f1-8a07-a2758efd933dPost:8661dbd5-fd26-4cf4-9a0a-09efc9345081">Re: Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant! : :( It's true...thats why I can't come visit you. I'm too much of a hillbilly. That and the fact that you had blue balls..
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

aw, you're tiny. I can hide you from my doormen easily!

ckonidak · December 2010

This whole thing made me LOL. :-) haha

OP, her pregnancy is her business. Stop butting into it (family or not). Apologize and let her talk to you about her pregnancy when she's ready.

nda_roxybabe · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-she-tell-she-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b74c8693-8007-48f1-8a07-a2758efd933dPost:40c7452c-a627-4a31-b02f-734e4fd29835">Re: Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant! : aw, you're tiny. I can hide you from my doormen easily!
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]
Hmm, sounds like a plan to me! You're not worried about my WT-ing your house?

ootmother2 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-she-tell-she-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b74c8693-8007-48f1-8a07-a2758efd933dPost:5e100795-2489-44b9-ba52-0ae79849c267">Re: Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant! : Hmm, sounds like a plan to me! You're not worried about my WT-ing your house?
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

I'm here, aren't I?

cm42878 · December 2010

Roxy- That is the biggest tree I have ever seen!!! How tall is that thing IRL?

schumacherwedding2011 · December 2010

Yeah i realized that shortly after i posted the comment regarding the white trash thing... And for that I apologize . I have never been in a wedding before never even really been to a wedding and here I am thrusted into planning a huge traditional wedding. My MOH is a great girl dont get me wrong but she can be a little self centered. I realize that her pregnancy is her business but its obvious to me that if shes telling everyone else and NOT me then there are issues bigger than my wedding at hand. I think thats more my issue is that out of all the ppl she told she did not tell anyone who was in the wedding almost like she was trying to hide it. and as far as the dress is concerned we are ordering our dresses next friday because they can take up to 16 weeks to get back and then we need time for the seamstress to make any necessary alterations. So its imperitive that i figure out what to do with her dress because our dress shop will not order any of the dress's till all the dress downpayments have been made and i dont know what size dress to order her... so there is the issue with the dress

Mrs.B6302007 · December 2010

Edited: didn't see OPs reply just above

kikibaby · December 2010

You've never answered about the confusing timeline... you say she's 5 months pregnant right now, but your wedding is in June. If all of that is true, she'll have had the baby by your wedding and uh... well, voila, she won't be pregnant.

katiewhompus · December 2010

Here's the thing though, who is everyone? If everyone is her immediate family then you are overreacting a lot. Currently only my immediate family knows (along with Scott's extended family...long story) but no one on my dad's side does. Is it going to hurt when they don't discover my pregnancy until I'm 4 months along? Probably. But they are not a good support group to rely on so that's the way it's going to go.

Given your post, I'm guessing that you would not be a good support group to rely on since you have already blown this way out of proportion. Shiit happens with early pregnancy and most people don't want to spread the word until they have to do so.

redheadfsu · December 2010

It doesn't mattered if she told "everyone" (which I doubt - she probably only told a few very close people & then those people told people who told you. I can understand her being mad.)

OP you should have spoken to her privately when you heard the rumors. Something like, "I've heard some rumors & I know it isn't my business, but I just want to confirm that the BM dress size is still correct." If she said it was correct, then you drop it. Asking someone else (even her sister - I think that's what you said) to ask her is annoying & rude.

OP, you really need to apologize. Seriously, you are causing unnecessary drama. Plus, like pps have pointed out, she might be back to her current size by the time of your wedding. If she isn't then you can always alter the dress to fit her. Stop trying to cause drama.

Queen Jane · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-she-tell-she-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b74c8693-8007-48f1-8a07-a2758efd933dPost:8f763d0d-ff86-4cf1-bdc1-4b848fbf5378">Re: Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant!</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah i realized that shortly after i posted the comment regarding the white trash thing... And for that I apologize . I have never been in a wedding before never even really been to a wedding and here I am thrusted into planning a huge traditional wedding. <strong>My MOH is a great girl dont get me wrong but she can be a little self centered. I realize that her pregnancy is her business but its obvious to me that if shes telling everyone else and NOT me then there are issues bigger than my wedding at hand</strong>. I think thats more my issue is that out of all the ppl she told she did not tell anyone who was in the wedding almost like she was trying to hide it. and as far as the dress is concerned we are ordering our dresses next friday because they can take up to 16 weeks to get back and then we need time for the seamstress to make any necessary alterations.<strong> So its imperitive that i figure out what to do with her dress</strong> because our dress shop will not order any of the dress's till all the dress downpayments have been made and i dont know what size dress to order her... so there is the issue with the dress
Posted by schumacherwedding2011[/QUOTE]

First, I thought MOH is the one you had go talk to this BM? Or do you have a maid and a matron? I bleieve you called the preg person just a BM originally, so I'm confused on that.

Second, you really should just let her get a different dress later. Even if she does have the baby up to a month before your wedding, she most likely will not be back to pre-preg weight by then, especially if she winds up with a c-section. That is A LOT of pressure to put on someone. I know there are people who can do it, and I swore up and down I would be one of them, but it just didn't turn out that way. Maybe it will for her, but I wouldn't put all my eggs in that basket.

Kristin789 · December 2010

At your wedding, the baby will be two months old and this girl will be back in her regular size. No problem there.

So the problem must be that your feelings are hurt that she TOLD EVERYONE BUT YOU. Well, that just shows you that she's not that close to you. Get over it.

schumacherwedding2011 · December 2010

ok so yes she will have had my nephew within a month month and a half of the wedding. And for everyone who said she will be back to her pre pregnancy weight im making a reasonable assumption you have never had a child. :ESPECIALLY WITH C SECTION: it takes MONTHS if not YEARS for some women to get back to there regular size . She is my bridesmaid to answer the question there and thank you to Queen Jane for understanding that I too had a C Section and I know that in no way shape or form a month after having my son would I have been able to do what i am requesting of her. I am not starting drama as her and I are still talking however I am not sure she has thought out a lot of the factors that are being asked of her. Such as I am not allowing children to the wedding or reception. We have large family's and to incorporate EVERYONES children we would not be able to use our church as it would not accomoadate those kinds of numbers. I will need her assistance the day of and the day before and as an understanding mom her priorities especially at that age are to her child and not me which is fine but if that is the case i would rather know now then weeks or even days before the wedding especially if its my money shes waisting. I dont think that is unreasonable

kikibaby · December 2010

Are you saying you wouldn't want her to bring her less than 2 month old baby? Who is your nephew? Becuase you NEED her help?

I don't think anyone is going to help you with this situation anymore. You're a very selfish person, and with that attitude I'm surprised anyone WANTS to help with your wedding.

The Mel and Todd Show · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-she-tell-she-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b74c8693-8007-48f1-8a07-a2758efd933dPost:22cfa98d-52a2-4a4c-a14b-7dcca481e407">Re: Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant!</a>:
[QUOTE]ok so yes she will have had my nephew within a month month and a half of the wedding. And for everyone who said she will be back to her pre pregnancy weight im making a reasonable assumption you have never had a child. :ESPECIALLY WITH C SECTION: it takes MONTHS if not YEARS for some women to get back to there regular size . She is my bridesmaid to answer the question there and thank you to Queen Jane for understanding that I too had a C Section and I know that in no way shape or form a month after having my son would I have been able to do what i am requesting of her. I am not starting drama as her and I are still talking however I am not sure she has thought out a lot of the factors that are being asked of her. Such as I am not allowing children to the wedding or reception. We have large family's and to incorporate EVERYONES children we would not be able to use our church as it would not accomoadate those kinds of numbers. I will need her assistance the day of and the day before and as an understanding mom her priorities especially at that age are to her child and not me which is fine but if that is the case i would rather know now then weeks or even days before the wedding especially if its my money shes waisting. I dont think that is unreasonable
Posted by schumacherwedding2011[/QUOTE]

No. Really. You ARE being unreasonable.

1) See those little fellas in my sig pic? Those are my two boys. I was a size 2 before I had each of them, and I'm a size 2 again now. I was in a wedding 6 weeks after my first son was born. The bride and the shop insisted that I purchase a dress based upon my size when measured (7 months pregnant.) Guess what? 3 days before the wedding, I had a seamstress trying to figure out how to take in the size 8 they had ordered so it would fit a size 2 frame, because that's the size I needed 6 weeks post delivery. So just hush. Plenty of women here have children and know what they're talking about.

2) It's up to her to determine what she will be capable of doing FOR you (ha!). If you asked her to be a bridesmaid, it is now up to you to make sure you accomodate her needs appropriately. She is a friend and a family member. Do you really think it's appropriate or reasonable to hurt her feelings and damage family relations by replacing her because she may not feel up to bustling your dress?

3) Newborns/nursing infants are the exception to the "no kids" rule.

4) All around, I find that you suck.

kikibaby · December 2010

Mel, I'm pretty sure I hate you now for being a size 2, both before and after 2 children.

The Mel and Todd Show · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-she-tell-she-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b74c8693-8007-48f1-8a07-a2758efd933dPost:e9421e32-0502-4f5d-91d3-84a03f0b6140">Re: Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant!</a>:
[QUOTE]Mel, I'm pretty sure I hate you now for being a size 2, both before and after 2 children. :(
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

Don't. Seriously. I'm fatskinny. Nothing is toned. Plus, you know...gravity. I take my clothes off and it's like National Geographic. For reals. Staring at my naked self in the mirror while remembering it in it's hayday, while sobbing, is like my pasttime du jour.

salt78 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-she-tell-she-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b74c8693-8007-48f1-8a07-a2758efd933dPost:22cfa98d-52a2-4a4c-a14b-7dcca481e407">Re: Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant!</a>:
[QUOTE]I will need her assistance the day of and the day before
Posted by schumacherwedding2011[/QUOTE]

<div>To do what, exactly? </div><div>Seriously. Weddings are not rocket science. You should be able to do most everything yourself or with help from your FI. </div>

Queen Jane · December 2010

FTR, yes I understand the whole weight after pregnancy thing, but I am not agreeing with the way you are treating your BM.

Point is, she may or may not lose the weight within 6 weeks. Let her deal with that. As a mom, you know how difficult it can be to adjust. And as a mom, I am shocked that you would not allow her to bring her 1 to 2 month old baby to the wedding. That makes zero sense to me. As PP said, nursing babies (and im ny mind, infants under 6 months) are exceptions to the rule.

salt78 · December 2010

Wow I missed the newborn baby at the reception part.

Yeah OP...newborns can usually be considered an exception to the no kids rule.

brookelynpaisley · December 2010

I hereby vote this the winningest post of 2010. Or at least December. Or today. I'm never around. It's my favorite post today for sure.

schumacherwedding2011 · December 2010

well her and I have worked it out... she appologized... i appologized and we both came to an arrangement. and just so you all know i wasnt ASKING her to step down i was asking if thats what i should do... I never implied that was what i wanted. Not once did i say that was what i wanted. So none the less she understands my points I understand hers and shes still in.. and all is well.. there was never any drama and i can see how helpful this board is because as with most any internet forum it just becomes a hen fight or a chance for people to chat about useless things . Thanks for those who did try to help.

Why didnt she tell me she was pregnant!

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