To drink or not to drink...

pag41989 · October 2009

Are you ladies having alcohol at your wedding. What is your take on this?

J&KgRiFF · October 2009

absolutely we are having a full bar. you know your guests better than i do but almost anyone will tell you if you dont have some sort of alcohol your guests will leave after dinner. To us that is the most important thing, but you can do just beer and wine or whatever fits within your budget but I would definitely have some option.

clseale13 · October 2009

Probably a full bar. At a minimum...beer and wine. I have a 6pm wedding...it's just wrong to not serve alcohol! Lol...at least with my guests it is.

brittjoy84 · October 2009

Full bar. It's not a party without alcohol.

*Mrs.CPH* · October 2009

"Full bar. It's not a party without alcohol."Most certainly.

clseale13 · October 2009

Ok...we all sound like a bunch of alcoholics.;) If you're not going to serve alcohol there are just a few things to consider. I've been to ONE dry wedding. It was at 11am on a gorgeous Saturday in September on the water on Catalina island. There were light finger foods (seared tuna, tropical fruit that kind of stuff), low key tropical music and no dancing. The reception only lasted about two hours. In my opinion...that's how you need to do a dry wedding and you need to be prepared for it to be a shorter wedding than most. Honestly the whole weekend was such a party that we were all hungover from the night before so we didn't really care too much...but if I'm being honest I totally would have had a mimosa if they were available! lol

pag41989 · October 2009

I would probably switch to a daytime wedidng if I could the only thing is the only time slot that was open for our wedding day at our reception facility was 5 pm-midnight. I mean I dont mind having alcohol but at the same time I wouldnt mind having it there. Was thinking about maybe doing a cash bar. I know its kinda tacky but thats all we can afford.

duncanpowers · October 2009

There are always enormous debates on this, so I'll summarize what I've heard over the last 2 years:If you have strict religious reasons for not serving it and your guests are aware of that, that's fine, but it's best to keep it to a morning/afternoon wedding in that case. Realize that the vast majority of guests expect for there to be alcohol in some form. If you cannot afford a full bar, try to offer a limited bar of beer and wine with a champagne toast, which is what we did. You could also add a couple of signature mixed drinks to allow for liquor but keep the cost down.Cash bars are generally not the best choice, as you don't want your guests to have to pay for things, but people do have them. You could potentially set a limit on your bar tab and then over that amount make it cash.But in general, it is customary to serve some kind of alcohol unless you have serious moral reasons for not doing it.

clseale13 · October 2009

Well even though cash bars are "frowned" upon let me say this... Are they kind of a downer? Yes. However...I have never thought badly of the bride and groom when I have been to a wedding that has one. Some people say either pay for it or don't have a bar at all. I could not agree less with that statement. If you can't afford to pay for my drinks I will gladly buy them rather then not even having the option of alcohol. Ultimately, your guests will understand.

J&KgRiFF · October 2009

dont have a cash bar, i would cut something else out of the budget before having a cash bar. people do not think of bringing cash to a wedding because they are guests so why would i bring my wallet. I have been to 2 of my friends weddings and they were cash bars, one we left and got a bottle of liquor and a bottle of wine and we walked to our car to fill up our drinks because of two drinks for my FI and I it was 18 dollars sorry but that is ridiculous, then for my really good friends wedding i knew it was a cash bar so my FI brought a cooler in a bag for me and him and we hid it under our table so we can drink. noone wants to go to a cash bar wedding and they will leave also after dinner because they go down the street and get a beer for 2 bucks rather than 6 at a venue. they mark the prices up bad. also i was talking to a bartender at my friends and when its a cash bar they have to exactly measure the shots that go into your drinks but if its an open bar they dont have to because you already paid a certain amount so there are so many more cons to a cash bar. I definitely would re think it.

duncanpowers · October 2009

If you're able to bring in your own drinks, you can save a lot of money by buying by the case and watching the paper for coupons to Total Wine, etc.

KXKX · October 2009

I agree with PPs. I would definitely serve alcohol. Period. And I would cut A LOT of stuff before I made my guests pay for their own drinks. You're inviting them to an event and like someone else said, no one expects to show up and have to pay for anything. To me, that's like having a keg party and charging for cups. Okay at a frat party, but not at your wedding. My H and I went to a dry wedding on St. Patricks Day a few years ago and it was super boring. We left with our group of friends as soon as we could get the helll out of there. Again, I agree with PPs. If you don't serve alcohol make it as early as you can and don't expect a very fun or long reception.

DevonStiles · October 2009

Cash bar = Wicked tacky

clseale13 · October 2009

PP's make another good point...I don't bring $$$ to weddings. That could be an issue.

duncanpowers · October 2009

WHOA, who has a dry wedding on St Patricks Day?!

clseale13 · October 2009

Right?! The only thing worse then that would be a dry New Years Eve wedding!

KXKX · October 2009

Asssholes, DP. That's who.

jendawn80 · October 2009

Ha, I agree with what everyone else has said! If you must cut costs, maybe you can limit the amount of hours that you serve or the types of liquor

KXKX · October 2009

Just a little more background...[url]http://tinyurl.com/yk6pykv[/url]

KXKX · October 2009

Also, you might not be "a big drinker" because you're 20 and underage. Just sayin'.

katiek200 · October 2009

I'm at work and now I'm really craving a drink!!!

Kristin&Kelly09 · October 2009

We had a full bar at our wedding, but we were lucky that our venue allowed us to bring in all our own alcohol so we were able to buy it when we found it on sale.

DevonStiles · October 2009

Dry wedding on St Patty's day?! WTF?! What kind of cruel joke is that? Mmm.. A drink sounds lovely.

Kristin&Kelly09 · October 2009

After reading all the responses I would not do a cash bar. I personally think they are tacky and the one wedding I have been to with a cash bar I was not there that long since the drinks were pretty expensive for what they were serving.

clseale13 · October 2009

I completely agree with what everyone has said about cash bars. However, if she won't budge on this issue wouldn't you rather have a cash bar than no bar at all? Yes, asking someone to pay for their drinks at an event that you're hosting is rude and tacky...but telling me that I'm not allowed to even have a drink that I pay for is even worse. OP- If your FI and his family are so set on this issue (read that from your other post) and your family has issues with alcoholism you need to tell him/them that they need to be coming up with that money.

brittjoy84 · October 2009

Why do your parents NOT WANT alcohol at the wedding?

Soon2BMrsSikes · October 2009

Here's my 2 cents: Yes, it's best to have a full open bar, but yes those can be very expensive. Most people will drink beer or wine so I think if you do open beer/wine and cash liquor, it will be ok. But I also agree with Christie- I would much rather go to a wedding with a cash bar than with no bar. And I've never gone anywhere with DH where he hasn't had his wallet. Most places will take your card, so not bringing cash wouldn't be a big deal.

KXKX · October 2009

I completely agree with what everyone has said about cash bars. However, if she won't budge on this issue wouldn't you rather have a cash bar than no bar at all?While I agree with this from a guest's POV, from the bride and HOST'S POV I would be mortified to make my guests pay for their own booze. As I said, I would cut A LOT of things from the budget to make room for alcohol to ensure my guests had a good time.

KXKX · October 2009

Just beer and wine is totally cool and as anyone who has planned a wedding knows, in the end it will just be another drop in the bucket.

KXKX · October 2009

Why do your parents NOT WANT alcohol at the wedding?Because they're "old-fashioned and traditional." But isn't alcohol traditionally served at a wedding?

brittjoy84 · October 2009

After reading through the other post you made, here is my answer:You can either let your parents pay for your wedding which obligates you to follow their wishes and go ahead and be prepared to have some annoyed guests. OR you can pay for your own wedding since you are an adult and do what makes you and your FI happy. I would seriously reconsider letting your parents pay since obviously FI is not happy with the way it is turning out and after all, it's his wedding too.

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