How to say no to a BM politely?

BJsGirl827 · October 2009

"I still want to know why Brian is also not very loving towards his sister."Because after countless attempts to help her get better (yes, her problem IS partly a mental state due to unbelievably LOW self esteem) she just refuses to accept it. She thinks this man loves her and that she can't do any better. Truth is, she could do WAY better than this jackass who is only making her more and more unhealthy by the day. In order for her to 100% fully move on and better herself she will need psychological help and she refuses. Therefore, Brian has given up.It kills Trish that he hardly talks to her. But when she won't give anybody her house number or cell number (thanks to her bf) and she never calls us and we don't see her online much, nor do we know where she lives other than the name of the town, it makes contact kind of difficult. When they do see each other, they have nothing to say to each other.She rarely even shows up for family holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas and the like because of her bf.I guess the problem isn't really Trish, but more the brainwashing bf. Anyway, its kind of hard to be close to Brian's sister, when he himself isn't close to her. I think the only reason she wants to be a BM is to feel important for 1 day because her bf never makes her feel important really.Either way. I am not asking people to be in my WP until I have a ring on my finger and announcements are made. But, I am not close to Trish really, and yeah that should be reason enough. And, maybe it is. I understand that I am snotty and a b*tch for thinkin of other reasons and when the time is right I will tell her no for the simple reason that other people deserve that spot more, but not in such a harsh choice of words.And you're right.. Nobody told me to change my name (new account) but I once thought about it. However, it wouldn't stop you from spotting me AND I decided I won't.

stina93446 · October 2009

I guess the problem isn't really Trish, but more the brainwashing bf. OMG the truth came out!You do now sound concerned for her, which makes me happy. You're not all bad. If I were you, I would see about getting her some help. If he's the bad seed that leeches onto her, definitely try to get in contact with her and maybe a couseler or something. Bad boys can really be bad for us, and Trish could probably use a friend/sister figure.PS thanks for actually answering my question. You have NO IDEA how frustrating it is when you ask something and the OP ignores it.

stina93446 · October 2009

Damn, I always read something good AFTER I hit reply.If you want to make Trish feel special without making her a bm, (because Brian is not that close either...) have her do a reading. Many people have their siblings/close friends that aren't bp do readings. And good thing you're holding off on asking.

banana468 · October 2009

It's perfectly fine to not ask her to be a BM because you're not close. It's the 'because of her physique' issues that made the issue appear a bit shallow (OK, way more than a bit).Asking her to do a reading is a great way to include her without her being a BM.

BJsGirl827 · October 2009

She is a really nice girl, just not someone I would give that honor to. To be honest, I have always been concerned about her, but after seeing her refuse help countless times, I kind of gave up myself. Its hard to try and help someone when you know its unwanted and a waste of time. =/

bablingbrooke · October 2009

See now if THAT had been your OP no one would have jumped down your throat! Putting everything in the context of "how this will affect my wedding photos" makes people think negatively, like that's all you care about.

How to say no to a BM politely?

Re: How to say no to a BM politely?

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