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HOW LONG DID YOU DATE BEFORE YOU GOT ENGAGED?

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Re: HOW LONG DID YOU DATE BEFORE YOU GOT ENGAGED?

  • I am with the ladies that say when you know you know. My husband and I dated 3 months before getting engaged, I was his boss & accountant at the company that he was a computer tech for LOL. I got to see his work ethic, and many aspects that I wouldnt have known otherwise. We were engaged for 6 months so 9 months together. When we told ppl @ work they were overjoyed, I had been w/the company much longer than him and they knew me well, they thought he was perfect for me. I took him to meet my family, it was love after the first couple of hours. He's one of us now!I had been married before for 10 years, got married straight out of high school, I had know him for 4 years, dated 3 of those his family and mine were VERY close, and it was a horrible, abusive marriage. I also dated a guy for 2 years before my current husband and i always knew we were just having fun i knew he wasnt the one. So IF YOU HAVE A GOOD HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS, WHEN YOU KNOW YOU KNOW! I was very shocked that things were happening so quickly but it depends on your friends individual situation. You are sweet to care for your friend but all you can do is be her shoulder to cry on bcse 99% of people won't listen. "Love" is powerful. G/L   
  • FI and I were best friends for almost five years before we started dating. He was in the Marines and got back from Iraq last May, and we started dating right after that. We were together for ten months before we got engaged, and our engagement is going to be just about 13 months.
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  • about 3 1/2 years before we got engaged, and by the time we're married, we'll have been together for four and a half years.
  • i know him since my freshman year(2004) in high school,he broke my heart during that time, and got together with him in march 1st 2008, and at july that year we got engaged.^^ and not planning to marry until 2012. so known him about 5 years and dated 4monthes before engaged.yes i know it's soon but it all worked out in the end.and we have a very long engagement. 4 years total.(3 more to go!two more until we start officially planning!)yes it does takes time to know if he's the one. but sometimes u can feel it. but basically if u two dated 1 year + then u should know for sure.(like we are. now we know for sure we r getting married.) so that time is most people got engaged.but some couples got engaged around 2 years they are dating.
  • I agree with others, when you know you know. There is no way to get around it when you are in love. FI and I started getting acquinted and dating 3 months ago, fell in love, seriously started talking marriage a couple of weeks ago and have proceeded to set a wedding date (which will be 10 months after we met/started dating). We are "unofficially" engaged at the moment because there is no ring yet, but we both definitely know that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. When you find "the one" you know. We feel as if we've known each other our whole lives! Now going that quickly may not be for everyone, but it works for us and sometimes it happens that way! For us, it is the most convenient thing to do as he lives 5 hours away, so there is currently a LOT of phone calls and driving back and forth. My point is, it's up to them. I know you don't want to see your friend get hurt, but if she is confident that this is "the one" just be there to support her. It's ultimately her decision! If it doesn't work out, just be there to be a shoulder to cry on. If it does, be happy for her. Simple as that :)
  • Together two years and 7 months before engagement and we will get married 2 months before our 4 year anniversary of the day we started dating. I knew he was the one the minute I met him but was in no hurry to rush into things - I wanted to enjoy every minute of our early relationship - no wedding pressure involved.
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  • 2 months. Sometimes you just know.  We knew after one week, but he proposed on our two month celebration.
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  • My fiance and I dated for 5 months before we got engaged.  We will be together for 2 years on our wedding day.  I would have told him yes on the first date if he would've asked. :)
  • I've know my fiance for 11 years, dated for 5years before getting engaged and we are getting married on the day that sets us at 7years together
  • Okay maybe I am biased (I work in family law) BUT I really believe you need to know each other for at least a year before you get engaged. You need to have life experiences with them, get to know them, fight with them, etc. You need to know what they are like after the "honeymoon" period is over. I have heard too many stories of women jumping into relationships b/c they were "so in love" & now that they live w/the person & know them better -- they don't love them anymore...
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  • Dated 7 1/2 years engagement will be 16 months (April 30, 2011 wedding). I was 17 when we started dating, and I will be 26 when we get married.
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  • My fiance and I were together almost 4 years when he proposed, and I must admit I don't feel that it was any too soon. I knew after about a year that we would get married, but "the ring" puts a whole new spin on things. I just turned 23 this month, so maybe that makes a difference, I'm not sure. There is no way I would consider engagement unless I had been with him for at the VERY minimum 1 year.
  • fi and i started dating aug 23,2008,moved in together june 2009 got engaged aug 23,2009. we are getting married nov 14,2010
  • We were in our freshman dorm together 20 years ago. We started to get to know each other when his best friend was dating my roommate, but didn't start dating until I graduated college. About 6 months later, he moved away, and we gave up on the long distance thing after another 1 1/2 years. I eventually married someone else, got divorced, he moved back and he found me on facebook 1 1/2 years ago. He proposed 6 months after we re-connected and we're getting married 13 months after the proposal.
  • we were so-so friends for 10 years before we started dating.  of those 10 years, three of them we lived in the same city and saw each other regularly.  afterwards he lived in NYC for 7 years and we saw each other every year or two for a couple hours.  didn't really keep in touch much. after 7 years in NYC  he came home to vancouver for a 3 week visit.  i was hanging with him at his parents' place where he was staying and he told me he was thinking of moving home, and would i consider dating him if he did indeed move home?  it had never occured to me before, but i said "sure."   we "got together" over the rest of his vacation here, and by the time he returned to NYC, i pretty much knew he was the "one."9 months later he moved back to vancouver.  we moved in together 6 months after that.  he proposed after 1 year of dating.  our 18 month engagement puts us at about 3 years of dating, and approx 14 years of friendship by the time of our wedding. what was most different about this relationship compared to all the others was how little drama there was right from the beginning.  everything just felt so EASY.  there was no struggling to understand each other, come to agreements or have fun together.  it just felt totally natural, and still does.
  • When I walk down the aisle, me and my fiance will having been dating 7 years. We'll have known each other for 8 1/2. And we'll have been engaged about 4. I do agree with the whole "when you know, you just know" but that IS a little fast.
  • My FI and I have been together since Aug 2000 and he proposed on Dec 11, 2008. We will be just shy of our 10 yr anniversary when we get married. We have been dating since I was 16 and I knew that he was the one. There was just something about him. So I think as others have pointed out when you know you know. They may not know eachother that much but that will come with time dating or married.
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  • FI and I were together for a year and half before we got engaged but we knew from the beginning that we were meant to be together. My parents met on valentines days and didnt see each other for a month or so but they talked on the phone. They "dated" for a week and got married after that and have been together for 27+ years. when I talked to my dad about it he said "i'm more in love with your mother now then when I first met her because I know her even better. I dont regret getting married so quickly" My parents have been through their ups and downs like many marriages but they stuck by one another and have really shown me what a good marriage should be. Never perfect but always an adventure!
  • my fi and i had been dating for a 1 1/2 years before we got engaged....our engagement is almost a 1 1/2 also....so we will have been together for about 3 years when we get married...
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  • We met June 9, we talked on the phone for 2 weeks on opposite sides of the country.  I flew one way to Colorado and we drove cross-country to Virginia in 5 days.  We were dating by Missouri, he said 'I Love you" in West Virginia, and 1week and 5 days later we were engaged in North Carolina-one month to-the-day we met (July 9)We will be married on May 29, 2010, just 11 days shy of knowing each other for a year!
  • I agree with you, I think that's a little presumptuous, being a friend with someone is far different than dating them. As friends you don't necessarily see their undesirable side. You don't know how you two coupe with holidays and in-laws, dramatic or traumatic situation (like a family/friend's death). Then again, sometimes the people who believe "when you know you know" get lucky and they're right. But I've seen a lot of girls who "just knew" and were wrong because they weren't together long enough to realize this was in fact an infatuation on his part, not love. My fiancee and I were friends for 8 years before we started dating, and we had been dating a little over a year before we got engaged (i knew at about 6 months he was right for me). I think anything less than a year before getting engaged is irresponsible. Plus, if you're spending the rest of your life together WHAT is the big rush? Take your time, make sure it is the right decision. I'm excited too, but I have the rest of my life to be with him. Our wedding is a year and half off yet, and as badly as I want to move in and be with him all the time some things are worth the wait.
    Trust your heart, love knows the way. Pregnancy Ticker
  • p.s.- nothing wrong with being worried for your friend. I don't think you're codependent, as others have said. I would be greatly concerned for her if she were my friend. Yes, she's an adult and she can make her own choices, and none of us have the right to tell someone what they should do. Best you can do is encourage her to take her time, since this is a big decision. But if she makes the choice, well then be there for her and be supportive, good or bad. :)
    Trust your heart, love knows the way. Pregnancy Ticker
  • We started dating Dec 1997 when we were 16 years old.  We went out for 2 years, then went our separate ways when we went to college, but still kept touch online and an occasional dinner.  During this time, we dated other people and shared our stories and experiences :D Then, around March of 2008 he started calling me.. and we just talked and started going out more and more.  We became more serious until we became engaged Dec 2008.  We will be getting married November 28th, 2009.  12 years later :D people have been saying that's when you know it's meant to be, when you can let go of something good and it comes back :D
  • We were friends for a year, dated for 6 years beforegetting engaged and will have been together almost 8 years by the time we get married. I think the problem with getting married to quickly is you haven't had time to figure each other out. I had a friend who married someone she had known for 6 months and their first year was incredibly difficult because they hardly knew each other. After six months you haven't even had time to have a fight yet!
  • we dated for one year before we got engaged, but we started talking marriage stuff about 2 months into it. we just decided to wait because of school and neither of wanted a long engagement. i'd like to say that you definitely need more time to get to know one another than 3 days, and in general that's what i would advise. but i have been proven wrong in this several times, so i would be hesitant to say that now. is this a trend with your friend? or is this totally unlike her? because that would be a factor.
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  • My FI and I will be married 3 days before our 10 year anniversary. We met when we were 16 and have been madly in love since that time but we recognized that we were young and needed to go to college/travel/live on our own and develop ourselves as people before we would be ready to get married. Dated 5 years and have been engaged another 5. My MOH's parents got married after dating 4 months. 4 kids and 30 plus years later they are still very happy. The point is everyone has a different life, time table and relationship.
  • My fiance and I knew each other for about 2 months before we started dating, we have our 3 year dating anniversary in December, so we'll have been dating for 3.5 years when we get married.
  • We had been dating for over 6 years when he proposed. Met in college, and we will have been dating for over 7 years when we get married.
  • started dating right away after we met. dated just a month shy of 4 years when he proposed. engagement is about 10 months. i think you need to date for at least a year to really know someone well. it's different being in a relationship with someone than just knowing them or being friends.
  • Met in January 08, He moved in with me November 08. I knew by the summer 08 (just a few months in) that i would marry him. We got engaged June 09 and we will be married in october 2010
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