WR Post - Yup, it's tacky

TiDa2009 · November 2009

Family and friends helped set up and take down our minimal decorations for the reception. This is another thing that is common in our families, and they offered. Yeah, our family and friends will be helping out with a lot for our wedding, too. But, like PP said, it's normal - I've put up a ton of decorations, put wine on tables, broke down tables, helped serve food, etc for many family weddings.

squirrly · November 2009

Wrap around labels on the invites. And, I expect my MOH to do more than just put on a dress and show up. Because she's my sister. And because she DEMANDED (complete with a guilt trip from mom & grandma) to be the MOH. I hadn't even asked her to be a BM yet, and I didn't want a MOH. Oh well. If she demands the title, I demand some help.

jforeman5 · November 2009

I've put up a ton of decorations, put wine on tables, broke down tables, helped serve food, etc for many family weddings. Yep, me too. I actually like it. I think it's nice for friends and family to pitch in for weddings. I did bouts for all of my SILs, and we set up all their centerpieces too. It's fun!

agk0125 · November 2009

1. emailing Save The Dates because I waited way too long to order them.2. Wedding on a MONDAY! In our defense the vast majority of our guest list is comprised of freelancers (aka weekday vs. weekend really doesn't matter). And we personally discussed it with everyone who has a real job before booking.3. Cash bar at the rehearsal dinner because our entire guest list is invited..making it more of a welcome dinner than a "thank you" to wedding party.

KJDOHERTY · November 2009

1. We had a head table (at my mom who was paying's insistence) that didn't have room for SOs. They're very common in my area and the we seated the SOs with their good friends/family who were there, but looking back I wouldn't have done it.2. We had about 15 people on B-list that we invited, but we were very careful to only put people on this list who wouldn't have talked to others and learned that they were B-list. Still though, looking back I wouldn't have done it.

janedoe1113a · November 2009

1. Printing addresses on the envelopes.2. Having friends and family help set-up.3. Bouquet and garter toss4. Colored sash on my dress5. Helping my MOH plan my bridal shower (in my defense, she's hours away and we're having it where I live, so she needs help finding locations)

jinxed8605 · November 2009

1. not serving hard alcohol (at all)2. bouquet and garter tosses3. considering dollar dance... FI really wants to do one ever since my brother and SIL did it at their wedding.

On_Cloud_Nine · November 2009

I like this thread! We're having a bouquet and garter toss. I've never been to a wedding that didn't have one, and my FI is looking forward to it. Most likely printing address on the envelopes.Having a second "reception" in FI's hometown. (His mother wants to do it, and it's going to be very casual for his family and friends that won't be able to attend.)Having an even number in our BP. I've tried and tried to convince my FI that he can have whoever he wants to stand with him, and I don't care if the number is uneven. But he cannot STAND the idea of uneven numbers. It actually caused an arguement, so I have completely let it go. He has who he wants, and I have who I want. I'm sure there are other things.

AlmondWhittle · November 2009

We had a cash bar- I didn't even know this was odd until I started reading here, I've never been to an open bar wedding or known someone who had one. The only downside was they asked us again the morning of the wedding to confirm since we had been considering doing an open bar, and we said no and didn't realize they took that to mean they should charge for sodas too. We did a bouquet and garter toss. My 15 year old brother caught the garter not knowing what would happen, and my 30 year old cousin caught the bouquet. Awkward. We had a funny reading during the ceremony which apparently a lot of people are against on here, but we had a ton of people ask for copies of it after. My MOH ended her speech with "may all your ups and downs be between the sheets." I included a lot of stuff in memory of my grandfather who died the week before, which a lot of my family loved but I feel like if I had 'asked' about it on here people would have thought it was morbid.

Simply Fated · November 2009

I'm not even engaged yet... but my boyfriend and I joke around about stuff... and there are a few things my best friend and I have laughed about....One thing that stands out in my mind... I want to print out addresses for the envelopes, instead of writing them out. Only because I can't see myself wasting paper on envelopes just because my handwriting is completely craptacular. It's either that or use a pencil with a really awesome eraser. Or white out. Those erasers for pens suck....

lyn_mello · November 2009

1) We are having a cash bar, we will have a wine and beer "pour" at dinner, but the rest of the night is cash. I agree with the previous post, I had no idea that a cash bar was a no-no until I came on this site. Almost all of the weddings I have been to had a cash bar, and the ones that were open were filled with messy drunk people! 2) My FI has been married before, so we are having an immediate family/private ceremony before the reception. I had no idea this was tacky, it seems that a lot of brides are having them these days. That's all, I hope you ladies don't crucify me for the cash bar!!

melissa<3bryan · November 2009

1. No alcohol. Venue is a community park so it's not allowed. 2. Oue Venue is a community park.LOL 3. Disposable dinner ware. 4. Fake flowers.

denisedroege1 · November 2009

This thread is cracking me up. This is not the 1950s and pretty much anything goes. The wedding day is suppose to be about the bride and groom and not about what is "tacky" or cliche. Hopefully everyone coming to my wedding is there to share our special day rather than be the 'proper' police. With that said we are doing the following:1. bouquet and garter toss (cause if I had stand there pretending to want to catch the bouquet then everyone else will)2. Dry reception3. dollar dance ( I can stand a few minutes of awkwardness for honey moon spending money)4. bridesmaids wearing the same dress (they picked it)5. printed labels on the invitations6. no plus ones

hnh1205 · November 2009

1. We are having a destination wedding to Las Vegas so that can be considered tacky.2. We are having an AHR when we return, but everyone not invited to the wedding is super happy we are doing this IN our wedding attire.3. My mother is inviting people to the bridal shower who aren't invited to the wedding. I was shocked by this but she was like..."you invite people to a baby shower who aren't going to be at the birth! whats the difference?" oh well....btw I never even knew that a bouquet/garter toss was considered tacky at all! everyone does that here...although we probably wont since there will only be like 2 single girls at the wedding.

dojo1 · November 2009

The aboslute tackiest thing I have done to date.... Hand-addressed my invitiations... with wrong names / spelling etc. It really bugged me because my parents gave me their address book which they knew I had to rely on entirely for their guests' names and addresses... some names were wrong and addresses were incomplete. Same goes for FI. Guess who winds up looking like the jerk? No one but me. The tackiest thing I still plan on doing - either hand-writing or typing on clear labels the names of guests for our escort cards.

dojo1 · November 2009

Ohh.. the other apparently tacky thing I am doing (which is really common around here) is having a head table that doesn't include the wedding party's dates (GASP!). Honestly, I've never been to a wedding where dates got to sit with the WP, though I know some people around here feel VERY strongly about it. I say, "Poo-poo!"

Gardini5 · November 2009

I LOVE THIS! :)We are having a totally classy, ridiculously expensive reception and doing a dollar dance at the end so we can dance with everyone that is still there. Is it bad that I don't care?! It's a huge tradition around here and I love every second of it, getting to spend a little time with the bride and groom! Other than that, i'm not tooo tacky but I love some of your ideas!!

Kaikaleanae · November 2009

I was laughing the whole time.... :D1. Since when was the bouquet/garter toss tacky? Going to have one, because they are fun.2. Considering the dollar dance, because they seem to play into many of the weddings I've attended. And, again, I always found them fun.3. Dry Reception. Between budget, diabetics, and recovering alcoholics, it's just safer that way.4. Using labels on the invites. I have a computer, printer, and more fonts than anyone knows what to do with.5. Color on my dress. I'm sure there's more.

Sparkette19 · November 2009

I am not hand writing the invites. I am not sending out STD's. My mom bamboozled me into helping her plan the shower. This really irks me b/c she tends to act clueless about certain things and I don't want to end up having a bridal shower at the VFW hall. Sue me, I care what people think.

Future Mrs. Lindstrom · November 2009

We did a money dance, flower/garter toss, a stupid dance (macarena)... And I used labels too. The only person I know with nice handwriting was my SIL and she was in New York.

blynn03 · November 2009

Hmmm...1. We are doing the reception food ourselves, and using disposable dinnerware. And GASP!! - we're roasting a pig and possibly a goat.2. We're only having beer, some type of hard lemonade, and MAYBE wine.3. Family will be helping prepare food, set-up and tear-down.4. Bridesmaids are wearing the same dress.5. I'm not doing ANY of the "traditional" stuff that I deem tacky (bouquet/garter toss, cake cutting ceremony, dollar dance) - but I'm sure that in not doing it, some of my guests will think I'm tacky. (And I just want to add that I know a dollar dance isn't really traditional, but it is pretty common in my area.)

qwerty777 · November 2009

1. No open bar--I've never been to a wedding with one, and I'm not paying for everyone else to get completely wasted. We have been talking about providing beer and wine though. 2. Bouquet and garter toss--have not discussed it, but we may end up doing it.3. Dollar Dance--every wedding in my family has done it, but I don't think any in FI's family. We have already talked about it and we probably will do it. 4. Head table is yet TBD. I've never been to a wedding that did not have one, and I'm not a fan of the sweetheart table. We may do something where we sit with the parents and MOH and BM, but we may not even have enough room for another table with all of us. 5. Not everyone is getting a plus one. Not even everyone in my bridal party. None of them are from out of town, every one of them has friends or family there, and FI's sister demanded to be a BM, so she lost any respect I had left for her, and therefore loses her chance at a plus-one. 6. I may have to use labels on the response cards only because there are no envelopes and its on black paper. 7. All my BMs are wearing the same dress (did not know this was tacky at all) but they all seemed to like it and it looked awesome on every one of them except FSIL who didn't get to try it on.

rahkstar · November 2009

i adore this post.

my fiance and i are very non-traditional... 1. we're having a handfasting and a reading in lieu of traditional vows. 2. we are totally writing "adult reception only" on the invites, as well as "we're sorry, but we cannot accomodate children" on the response cards. we're getting the point across come hell or high water! 3. we're including registry information with the invites. just going to throw the little card that BB&B gives us into the envelope. i have no idea why this is considered tacky, i'd be super annoyed if i had to guess or call the brides parents to find out where they are registered! and how annoying for the brides parents! 4. cash bar. we all might burn in hell for this one. our package includes a one hour hosted well bar, though, and a champagne toast. any booze they want beyond that is on them!5. my fiance wants a dollar dance. so, why not? it gives me more face time with people!6. we're having a dinosaur shaped grooms cake. and an ice cream sundae bar. not exactly martha stewart recommended, but we love it. :)the thing i love so much about this post, is that it really highlights the fact that weddings should be individual celebrations of love, not an opportunity to impress by demonstrating how classy you are!...if that means a cash bar, or a dino cake, or a garter toss, so be it.

pimpinar · November 2009

I had no idea people thought color on your wedding dress is tacky! Maybe all white is tacky

runnrgurl · November 2009

I like this post. I've been afraid to announce my tackiness.1. Cash bar for everyone outside of BP for liquor; Beer, wine, and soda are provided2. I will be addressing my own invites. Can't afford someone else to write3. Not sure if this is tacky, but we're doing a bbq-style 'rehearsal dinner.' The reality is that almost all of our guests are OOT and we should feed them, and a restaurant sit-down isn't our style. We're renting a tent in my parents' backyard and having a giant pig roast. And a bonfire. And home made beer. I don't care if it's tacky.4. This is my second wedding, and I'm doing it BIG. I will not be looking back wishing I would have had a honeymoon or a live band or the celebration with my family. I can't help it I made a mistake!!!

jforeman5 · November 2009

Oh yeah, we also had disposable dinnerwear. It saved us hundreds of dollars. Also, my mom and I cut and served the cake ourselves, it was not pretty at all, but everyone got cake and they were happy

hillaryeggert · November 2009

The tackiest thing related to my wedding was my socially inept now-MIL's doing. Sorry for the rant...We had a small wedding -30 total- and I really didn't want a shower but MIL insisted. I reluctantly gave in and let her plan it. But first I insisted she be certain all invitees knew our wedding plans (i.e., not all BS attendees would be wedding attendees). I figured if people knew the situation and came anyway, that was their choice. I was told that this happened and that "no one minded." Just wait.I immediately regretted saying yes when I saw her invites. They looked like there were made by a 5 year old, complete with a heinous hand-drawn incomprehensible map (with mistakes crossed out), a sloppily glued-in computer-printed invite sheet, and details about our registry. She also invited estranged past-friends of DH.It got worse. In the middle of the shower, MIL said, "So don't you think you should make a speech and explain that your wedding is going to be immediate family only so everyone will understand when they're not invited?"I wanted to die. Still not sure if she lied on purpose or is just that daft. That was the end of her "helping" with the wedding.

XOXOBride09 · November 2009

Much of our wedding could be considered "tacky" or Awesome depending on how you look at it.1). My BMs are wearing orange flats with maroon dresses to my mom's dismay - it is my school's colors. 2). We are recreating the entrance our football players make on the field before a game for our entrance to the reception, complete with a montage set to Enter Sandman and we will run through a screen.3). After we are presented as Mr. & Mrs. we will walk out of the church to "Gonna Fly Now" b/c Rocky is my favorite movie.4). We are doing a dollar dance.5). My bridal party will throw T-Shirts into the crowd like cheerleaders at a football game.

pristinedemon · November 2009

1) Limited bar. We're paying for beer and wine for probably an hour or two. 2) Garter toss/bouquet toss - never realized this was tacky but w/e...3) Cocktail-style reception - no full dinner, just appetizers and cake. We're keeping it short though so I doubt anyone will leave hungry.4) BM's wearing the same dresses. I strongly disagree that this is tacky also, but that's what we're doing!

SuMmErKuTiE · November 2009

What a great post! I agree with several pp's saying that unless it's a common social faux paus and/or flat our rudeness then nothing you choose to do at your own wedding should be deemed tacky. Your wedding should be about what you and your FI want so it's personal and meaningful to you. Things we are doing that some knotties may find tacky:1. Garter and bouquet toss.. every wedding I've been to has had it and it's always fun watching everyone scramble.2. The BM's will all be wearing the same dress. They all loved the dress, plus I want them to stick out once we're all mingling at the reception as the bridal party. 3. I'll also be printing address labels for the invites onto clear labels. I don't know anyone who can do calligraphy and I'm not paying and arm and a leg to have someone else do it. 4. My mom is having some of her friends and sisters help set up for the reception since the venue isn't going to do everything for us and actually suggested it.

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