Bridesmaid Dresses Too Expensive???

bellakt19 · November 2009

So, obviously I am very new to this whole Bridesmaid dress prices. I found dresses that are perfect, and I am in love with them! Some of my bridesmaids are young...in their 20's. The dresses cost $240 -$280. I didn't think it was so bad, and neither did my sister who is my MOH. She has also been to a lot of weddings. Any suggestions on bridesmaid dresses cost??? Is this too much??

Simply Fated · November 2009

only your bridesmaids know the answer to this.I would ask them how much they feel comfortable spending and then go out in search of dresses with their budgets in mind.Some bridesmaids have high limits, while others need to cut their budgets short. Amazingly beautiful dresses can be found at any price range, so dont' worry about that.But, yeah, ask all your bridesmaids how much they can budget for a dress.... that's my advice for ya.

swim1011 · November 2009

Talk to your BMs, like the PP said. I would never spend $240-280 on a BM dress, and I wouldn't ask my girls to do that, either, even if they could afford it. BUT, it really depends on your financial situation. I have to throw out there that just bc the dresses look great to you, they may not look so good on your BMs. Go out and have them try on dresses, and see which styles they (and you) really like. They don't all have to wear the same style!

baystateapple · November 2009

I would probably balk at spending that much on a dress for one occasion...even for a dress that I could wear more than once. But again, talk to your bridesmaids. They're the only ones who can tell you what their price range is.

SarahPLiz · November 2009

I have never spend that much on any one article of clothing in my LIFE (haven't ordered my wedding gown yet), nor would I be willing to do it for a friend's wedding. That is way out of my budget for something I would most probably wear only once. Talk to your BMs and get their budgets INDIVIDUALLY, as group dynamics may come into play and some may feel pressured to go out of their budget to not seem broke in front of the others. Also, realize that just be cause it may look like it is wearable again, if your BM does not have the occasion to wear it again, then its a one-time dress. Personally, I don't own a lot of dresses because I wear pants most of the time. I don't frequent formal events or have many opportunities to dress up. I have one go-to cocktail dress that I got on clearance at Macy's for $30. So if I was your BM, I would definitely balk at paying almost $300 for a dress. PS- I just typed this using Firefox instead of IE, and it spellchecked it for me.. YAY!

trix1223 · November 2009

Sounds very high to me, but as pps have said, only you know your friends. You really need to ask them what their budget would be. I know my DD balked at a BM dress that was $170. All the girls loved it, but she didn't want them to spend that much. They found it online for $119. I wouldn't want to spend $240-$280 on a dress that I'd likely never, ever wear again.

kmmssg · November 2009

I would never go for a dress that was so expensive. Think about this: Dress: 260.00, Alterations: ?Shoes: ?Hair/makeup: ?any special undergarments: ?those are all pricey things that add up and that's just to achieve the "look" the bride wants. That doesn't event begin to cover any showers, bach party, travel, accomodations.that 240.00-260.00 is just the tip of the money iceberg for the honor of being a BM. Way too expensive.You need to speak to each of your girls PRIVATELY and ask them what they feel is appropriate and not a burden. It honestly doesn't matter what your sister thinks - it is what each girl feels will work for her.Personally, I would say no.

ffmaid · November 2009

Depends on your budgets. Without mentioning this dress ask each privately what they view as a reasonable price range. then pick the cheapest price range. $240-280 would be so expensive that as a friend I would have to decline being a bm if it was me. also remeber that dress is typically about 20% of total cost to BM in my experience. Travel showers bachlorettes shoes hairdosgifts for shower gift for wedding ect ect ect

Sooles · November 2009

i would never pay that much for a dress, even if it was somethign i could wear again and again. in this economy that just seems crazy! sorry, but i think that is way too much. sometimes the MOH wears something a little different to stand out a bit. if your sister wants (and can afford) this dress let her buy it and find something similar but affordable for the rest of your girls - based on what each of them can afford.

MrsCanes511 · November 2009

Of course, as everyone mentioned, as them first what their budget is. HOWEVER, I am in my early 20's, and I would NEVER be able to spend that much money just for the dress, as pp mentioned that on top of then alterations, shoes, hair makeup, the works. So I personally think that it is way too much.

banana468 · November 2009

FWIW, I think you need to backtrack the process.1) Wait for at least 3 more months when you're six months away from the wedding. Maybe two months would be fine to start looking but going right now is way too early for BM dress shopping.2) Before you start shopping, ask your BMs individually what their budgets are for a dress.3) Then go shopping for dresses keeping in mind their budget (and knowing that you need to subtract $40 or so from the dress cost for alterations) and then look for a dress that suits their bodies and tastes.If I were asked for my budget when I was in my early 20's, it wouldn't have been $300 - which is what the dress would cost me once alterations were done. Add to that cost the other BM costs and I'd really dislike it.Also, I think if you ultimately decide upon a dress that the ladies like but is out of their range then you do need to cover the difference out of your pocket - and that difference isn't part of their gift.

aerinpegadrak · November 2009

Well, it depends. I'm 23, and I could certainly afford to pay that much for a dress (not that I'd want to), but I'm also making more money than most people my age. A year ago for my sister's wedding, I grumbled at spending about $140 on a dress that didn't need any alterations, because I was in college and broke. Each one will probably have her own comfort range.Keep in mind other options for buying dresses as well: eBay, Craigslist, the Trash to Treasure board, reputable wholesalers like rkbridal.com, netbride.com, pearlsplace.com, etc. If everyone loves the dress but it's just too expensive, you can try to order it somewhere that can give you a discount.

mbcdefg · November 2009

Like PPs said, you need to ask your BMs if this is a good price. Not us. And you also need to remember that the expenses don't stop at the dress price ... they'll need alterations, undergarments, maybe some new shoes or jewelry, maybe they want pro hair and makeup done, etc. That can easily put their total around $400 or more. And that doesn't even include a hotel room if they need to stay overnight, a plane or train ticket or a car rental fee, or if they choose to throw you a shower or bachelorette and maybe give you a present on top of that. And don't say to them, "I love these dresses and they're $240+. Is that O.K. with you?" Because some girls may feel bad saying no to you even if they can't afford it. And then you will run into problems later on when they can't pay for it. So do not tell them about these dresses before you ask them for their prices, because if you present the price first then they may feel cornered into agreeing to it even if they don't want to. Call or e-mail each of them individually and say, "What would you be willing to spend on a dress? Don't forget that it may need alterations." Then figure out the price range that they can all afford, and THEN look for dresses (only in that range). Or, if they cannot afford the $240, pitch in the difference yourself for each girl if you really want these dresses. There are other ways to help them save money. See if you can get the dress at a wholesale discount through pearlsplace.com, netbride.com, rkbridal.com, etc. Don't require specific shoes ... pick a neutral color that coordinates with the dress color (silver, gold, black, bronze) and let each of them pick their own shoes; and don't require pro hair or makeup (and if you do require these things, then you need to pay for it).

bablingbrooke · November 2009

What did they tell you would be too much? In my book $200 is a pretty standard baseline that you shouldn't go over unless you're willing to pay for it. Plus have the BMs even tried on said perfect BM dress? If not they should--they may not look very good in it. Some dresses look great on the rack but horrible on the person.

Leah&Christian09 · November 2009

$240 for a dress is insane. You are supposed to ask the BMs each individually for a budget before you start shopping.FWIW, my girls were all in their late 20's/early 30's, and pretty settled into careers, and our max was $150. If you're that in love with this dress, you can buy it for them, but that's too much to ask someone else to spend on a dress.

momofayden · November 2009

I wouldn't spend that much on a BM dress either. $150 is reasonable, especially in this economy. You should find a cheaper dress.

rainedrop6 · November 2009

As a Bridesmaid, I would rather not spend $250+ for a dress that most likely isn't something that I would choose or be able to wear again, but I would if that's the dress the bride had her heart set on. I'd really appreciate a bride asking me my budget before deciding on a dress, it's very thoughtful but I understand some people have a difficult time talking about money. On the other hand I would never decline to be in a friend's wedding over the price of a dress. If I was stuggling financially, I would find ways to cut corners and make it happen. Even if I had to eat ramen noodles every meal for 3 months (hey at least I'd be skinny in the dress). As the Bride, I found out all the girls in my bridal party were comfortable spending up to $250 on the dress. I invited all 4 of them out shopping with me to see what everyone liked and didn't like. I chose the color black even though pink is my favorite because everyone's skin tone looks good in black, some people have a hard time pulling off baby pink so I made it an accent color instead. I let them know that they could wear any black shoes and silver jewelry (don't have to wear any jewelry) they wanted and were welcome to do their own hair and makeup but I'd set them an appointment with me if they wanted to splurge (all 4 decided to splurge). I ended up choosing a dress that retails at $235. After choosing the dress I spent the next several weeks contacting every bridal salon within a 150 mile radius to see if they could get the dress and how much it would cost. Turns out a salon 30 miles from my house gives a 20% discount and we were able to order them for $188 directly from Bill Levkoff. If I were you I'd ask my WP their budget limitations if you're comfortable discussing money. If not, pick the dress you want and then give everyone else a choice about spending any extra money on other things. Call around to find the best price you can get. With this economy some shops would rather make a little profit over no profit. See if a shop in your are offers free alterations with purchase. I found one in Virginia that did but price was retail and only two bridesmaids could utilize it due to the other two being OOT so we went with the lower price. If your girls don't have to pay $150+ in extras, $280 total might not seem so bad. You might be surprised to find out that your girls budgets may be higher than you expected. Many women plan to spend a good amount of money to be in a bridal party.

stina93446 · November 2009

You need to ask your bms what they can afford. Take the lowest number and whala, that's your budget.

banana468 · November 2009

And keep in mind that just becasuse some people will scrimp and save up the money does not mean that all will - and they shouldn't have to.DH and I will alter our lifestyle for OUR needs. I'm not going to change our eating habits because my friend has expensive taste.

LarissaAnn · November 2009

Ditto, totally depends on your bridesmaids. My BM dresses were $120. I personally have spent over $300 on a BM dress, but I was NOT happy about it.

jeannigirl · November 2009

I think that it is way to much to spend on, but thats me. That is a question that you need to address with your BP and I would say do this individually has sometimes when asked in a group everyone may say yes because they don't want to be the odd gal out. You can def show them and get their opinions on it.

JaimeeP · November 2009

Too expensive for me. I would not want to pay $240-$280 for a dress that someone else picks out and I will probably wear once. Ask each BM, privately, what they are comfortable spending on a dress. Find something in the lowest range.

jenn.daniel · November 2009

Way to expensive. I don't spend a tenth of that on most of my dresses. I wouldn't even look at anything over $100, and I would hate to even do that to my friends.

Leolene · November 2009

Try not to get discouraged, finding the right BM dress for the right price for the right body type(s) is hard. I think it's good to start looking early, it took me a few months to find and decide on the right dress for my friends. You can also pull in your BMs on the search if they are the willing type. Maybe just grab your MOH and discuss the color, cut and price range you're looking for and then you have more eyes looking for the right dress. Good luck!

duckie1905 · November 2009

I would never be able to afford a dress that expensive nor would I purchase it even if I was able to. It is a dress I would never wear again; I don't spend that much on dresses I pick for myself. If the dress was the only purchase maybe I could swing it but after the dress comes money for travel, gifts, showers and/or bach parties, shoes, hair, makeup, and the list goes on and on. Before you pick something talk to each BM privately and find out what they can afford. You shouldn't even be bothering to look until you know what price range is acceptable. Just asking your sister is not enough.

KAttanasio · November 2009

I was forced to spend $388 on a bridesmaids dress and seriously resented my friend because of this. She was marrying a man who has a lot of money and surely got used to the luxurious life, while the rest of us do not live this way. I even tried to back out of the wedding when I realized that the dress would be that much money, but she insisted that this was the only "real" expense. She was so oblivious to the real world of people on a paycheck to paycheck budget. I would make sure that your girls are comforatble with this price before you tell them that this is the dress that you want. Otherwise, your girls might be upset and uncomfortable, as I was.

bablingbrooke · November 2009

$388? Egads! Did she try to tell you "Oh, don't worry, you'll be able to wear it again!"

KAttanasio · November 2009

No, she didn't. She just really had no idea that that was a really big expense for me. Clueless.

irishxmyst · November 2009

I agree with the pp. You need to talk to your girls individually about their budgets. It may not be an easy talk, but most money talk isn't. Your sister may have been to a lot of weddings, but every wedding is different. Maybe her friends have really good jobs and can afford such things (or like someone mentioned before, maybe the bride was inconsiderate of her bms' finances). I know some women who spend that much or more on a dress just for some wine and cheese cocktail party, and others (probably the majority) who couldn't swing it. Something to keep in mind is that (in general) this is not a dress of their choosing and they probably won't wear it more than once. Like was said before, there are plenty of places online that you can get discounts from (as well as store willing to give discounts in this bad economy). I know one dress I'm considering as a bm dress runs about $240 normally, but I found a place that will sell it for $184 (perfectbridal.com) (and I'm still looking to see if I can get it lower than that). I'm also not requiring specific shoes/hair/makeup/jewelry, they can pick those out themselves within their budget. Another thing to keep in mind if you find a dress you like (and it looks good on all your girls) is it may be cheaper to have a seamstress make them, rather than buying them retail.Weddings are important, but in the end, they are only one day. Friendships are more than that. Friends don't make friends go into financial debt for them.

lilcassers · November 2009

depends on your BP class and lifestyle... are youall middle class or more like daughter of doctors and lawyers lol... $200 is the most I would ever make my BP pay, because they also have to buy you a shower gift, wedding gift/money and shoes, jewelry, hair and makeup. I spent around $400 total to stand up in my friends in july, it was pure ridiculousness.

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