Another Question...

japow1984 · November 2009

I am having my bridesmaids pick out their own dresses, but I wanted to buy my them snowboots, faux fur wraps, and jewlery for the wedding day. Is it a nice gesture? Or is it too "this is what you should wear"?? It wouldn't be their bridesmaids gift, just something I wanted to do.

stina93446 · November 2009

If it's not part of their gifts and you're not calling them gifts, I see no reason. In that case, it's super generous of you.

bablingbrooke · November 2009

It would be a lovely gesture. Like a bride who gives her BMs flip flops so they're comfortable dancing--it's the thought that counts. You aren't forcing them to wear anything, just giving them something so that they're comfortable.

japow1984 · November 2009

Yeahhh!! that's another thing I wanted to do. Get them slippers and put them on their chairs at the reception so they are waiting for them when we get there. Since I'm getting married on a (kinda) "holiday", I'm trying to make alot of extra effort to make the day fun and special for our wedding party.

japow1984 · November 2009

Now I just have to find a way to bring up shoe sizes in causal conversation in the next few weeks. I feel some weird looks coming on.

mbcdefg · November 2009

Sounds good!I would only vote against it if you were treating these things as their only gifts for being in your wedding. Which you're not.

bablingbrooke · November 2009

Try getting their SOs in on the action--have them raid their closets to see what size they are. Or if they're local figure out a way to look at their shoes yourself.

ffmaid · November 2009

Snowboots? Honestly people have very very different shoes and nice snowboots are very expensive and the cheap ones are not good. So this will be very expensive way to maybe cause foot pain. Also snowboots do not go with dresses so they would not be attire for the day of. Good attractive warm snowboots cost in excess of $100 each Faux fur wraps- Personally I dislike the look of fur. Fake animal cruelty is just an itchy way to say I wish I had enough money to really be cruel to animals. Would your ladies actuially wear these ever again? Is this even vaguely their stylr Jewlery- It is a common gift and commonly gets to the bottom of teh jewlery box and never worn again Honestly I think that if you saved your money and instead bought them something that would make them happy on a day not your wedding this would be a much better use of your cash and make you and your bm much happier.

LarissaAnn · November 2009

"Fake animal cruelty is just an itchy way to say I wish I had enough money to really be cruel to animals." Not true. "Jewlery- It is a common gift and commonly gets to the bottom of teh jewlery box and never worn again" Also not true.

ffmaid · November 2009

For larrisa I will clarify In my opinion the statement that faux fur makes is " I wish I had enough money to be cruel to animals" I see no other reason to wear a fake pelt as a fashion statement. Fake pelt means that the wish is to have it be real pelt. Fake fur might be fasshionable but it is still want to be real fur. In my extensive bm experience of getting jewlery as BM gifts it has every single time been stuff that ended up in teh bottom of my jewlery box. That has generally been what my other friends and other wp members have said. People have specific jewlery style.

emilyinchile · November 2009

ffmaid, I'm sure for some people fake fur says that, but it can also mean "I like the look of fur but don't support killing animals, so I'm choosing to wear this."The boots might be overkill. I agree with PP that they'll probably either be super expensive (in which case I might feel awkward accepting ) or cheap and crappy (in which case there's no point). Plus different styles/brands can mean different sizes or just be uncomfortable. It's a nice gesture, but it seems a little difficult.I think the wraps and jewelry would be nice, and I'd have no problem wearing that if you asked me to/gave it to me. Love that you're planning to do separate BM gifts more to their personal tastes as well.

caymans_christy · November 2009

I think, after hearing a few of the details to you wedding, that these extras would be very thoughtful and generous if you are getting spearate BM gifts. As everyone on here always suggests, you know your girls better than us, if you think they would like these things, then go for it. PS I don't get the faux fur = wanting to be cruel to animals thing. Some people like the look, the warmth, the feel of fur - fake or real. The fact that it is faux means that you are not being cruel to animals. If you wanted real fur, you can get a rabbit pelt for pretty cheap...

caymans_christy · November 2009

japow, were you the one that asked about taking pictures outside in MI in November? If so, even cheap snowboots would be nice while you are taking pictures. I sure wouldnt be trapsing around in heels if there is snow on the ground...Also, japow, you might have reached another dork dream - you are a hot topic!

LarissaAnn · November 2009

Yeah, I have never equated fake fur as "I wish I had real fur." It's a fashion fabric same as any other. That's like saying when you're wearing cotton you really wish you had the money for silk. And I guess I've just been lucky enough to have been a BM for some brides who knew my style, 'cause I wear the jewelry I've gotten as a bridesmaid. I wear the jewelry I've gotten as a gift from almost everyone. There has only ever been ONE single jewelry gift I've gotten that was truly not my style, and that was from a secretary at work many years ago. Maybe I just have more varied taste than you & your friends, ffmaid.

bablingbrooke · November 2009

ffmaid, it's not like she's holding a gun to their head and forcing them to wear them. She mentioned doing some pictures in the snow--what else would they wear? Plus it's not their only BM gift. And if anyone truly hates it or is morally opposed to fake fur (really don't get why you would be--hunting is a part of life in MI anyway, at least in the UP where I'm from) they can just not wear it. Chill.

ffmaid · November 2009

No she is not holding a gun to their heads forcing them to wear it she is however buying it and then gushing over how it would look of so cute in photos which basically is the same thing as saying " If you love me you will wear this getup" It is peer presureing her friends into it. Yes she shoudl pay for it if she is pressuring them to wear it whoch photos are. I bet at least one of her BM will wear it out of love but hate the outfit and thus not be able to return it because it was worn.

ffmaid · November 2009

They could 1. Skip the pictures in the snow (ideal as gown in snow does not go and boots do not go with dresses) 2. wear their own coats and such 3. have pictures inside instead. Oh it is fine you want to dress your BM up in winter outfits . Personally I would do it if a friend asked but I would be cold uncomfortable and miserable. I bet your BM feel the same. They will do it with a smile on their faces even if they are cold and miserable.

japow1984 · November 2009

LoL...Not my intentions at all ffmaid. It was more of a making sure everyone is warm and comfortable thing. I don't remember gushing over it looking cute in photos, maybe i'm wrong? If someone doesn't want to wear something, they aren't obligated to wear it. Thanks for looking out for my budget too, very thoughtful. Thanks for your input:) I appreciate it.

bablingbrooke · November 2009

I don't think it's an accurate picture of what's going on here at all. There are a lot of assumptions and a lot of conjecture in your responses, and I don't think it's fair to OP. You act like buying someone warm clothes for going outdoors is some kind of war crime. Save the vitriol for people who deserve it--they're out there.

japow1984 · November 2009

Brooke, I think it is something only someone whose lived in Michigan in December can understand. LoL....and esp. you because you've live in the UP! BRRRRR.......I want to go put some warm boots on and have hot chocolate just thinking about the UP. Soo snowy!

japow1984 · November 2009

P.S. Thank you for defending my snowy attire honor.

ffmaid · November 2009

No I am sorry that vitrol came across. I did not mean vitrol. I think it is a bad gift but that is not evil. I think a lot of gifts are bad. I do hate fake fur. I think it is a silly thing. If you want to wear fur wear fur if not don't fake fur in my experience is not warm it is simply a supperficial style statement that I personally find highly unattactive. Real fur at least is nice as it is very soft and warm and stays great for decades (I do have my grandmothers mink coat). Fake fur is neither warm durable or soft in my experience. So yes I viewfake fur as a sign of someone who cares more about style then substance. If doing fake emulating real but wanting to be animal hugging then why woudl you glorify the look by wearing it. It is trying to be real fur. Basically I think it is a very expensive idea that will most likely be a mediorce at best attire. I think buying the same outfit for multiple women is also a bad bad idea particularly footware. But then again I also think the silly monogramed totes with bridesmaids tees are more useless junk. I wish all brides would ask themselevs would I be buying this for these ladies for christmas or their birthday and if the answer is no get something else

ffmaid · November 2009

If you are in michigan I am certain your ladies already own warm waterproof lovely winter boots and coats

japow1984 · November 2009

Again, thank you for your input:)

bablingbrooke · November 2009

Just because you *personally* do not like fake fur does not mean you should begrudge someone else from doing so. This is just as ridiculous as the ppl who castigate brides for buying their BMs flip flops in case they want them at the reception because *they* do not like flip flops. Unless her idea is harmful, insensitive, rude, or just plain stupid, it doesn't justify the passion you're displaying here.

mbcdefg · November 2009

This post makes my head hurt.

japow1984 · November 2009

mbcdefg- I'm sorry. I like the picture from Old School in your bio! I want their wedding band.

mbcdefg · November 2009

Oh no, hon, not because of you

Please don't apologize. I thought that was a funny scene, too. I was in a bar one night and they actually played that song. I'd play it at my own reception if my poor parents and grandma wouldn't faint at the sound of it.

japow1984 · November 2009

Haha!..I hear ya!!! I have a big catholic italian family. I think I would be shunned forever if we played that song.

mbcdefg · November 2009

On another note, I keep thinking your dog is wearing a wig. (S)he's adorable!

japow1984 · November 2009

Aw!!! Thank you!! That's my Maggie. She has some crazy ear hairs. They really kinda do look like a wig.Check out the link below. People really do put wigs on their animals (yes, for only 50 dollars a wig)! LoL...It comes with a wig case too. Ahhh...the world is a funny place. www.kittywigs.com

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