So when my fiance and I got engaged, my parents insisted that the wedding will be done in my hometown where I grew up. I have moved away from home 6 years ago and live a 2 hour drive away from them. Nevertheless, the tempting offer of my parents helping to pay for the reception triumphed and we're getting married in my hometown. The issue is my fiance's family - not his parents, but his aunts, uncles, and cousins. We both live in the same city which is 2 hours away from my family and 5 hours away from his family/hometown. We thought we would have the wedding here so that it's a great halfway point for everyone to travel. But since that didn't pan out, my fiance's family are debating whether they should make the long road trip (if you follow the math right, it'll be a 7 hour drive) for our wedding in my hometown.
It's concerning that they won't make the effort to come. A bunch of other factors also play too...the fact that we're getting married in a Catholic church (I am, he's not), the fact that we're not having a boring meat and potatoes dinner but a full-blown 10 course chinese meal, and yes, the distance. I've been working hard to get them to book hotels early (with the special rates I got for them too) and every so often, airlines have great great deals from his hometown to mine. We're having our wedding on the long weekend so that people can travel...so no excuses!
I have family all over Canada and they're making the trek to come to our wedding and meeting my fiance for the first time. Ever since we got engaged, I've been noticing more and more how *whispers* stuck-up his family is, while braving a nice smile to mask it. I couldn't even ask my fiance's cousin's little daughter to be my flower girl because "it may upset the other cousins that their children won't be in the wedding party"...fiance's words..."so it's better to not ask them at all..." (the problem with that is: they're all older children...they CAN'T be all flower girls and ring bearers AND that's waaaaay too many children to consider for junior bridesmaids/groomsmen)...so I ended up asking my own cousins who are also the perfect age to be child attendants. What I'm afraid most now is that his family will hunt me down demanding why they're children weren't even asked...my fiance said they'll have to go through him first...but still..
NOW...fiance told me to keep a date in mind to go back to his hometown so all the women in his family can throw a bridal shower for me. I was super excited and just honored that they would do that for me! Except, fiance said, it's a chance for his grandmother to join in on the festivities because she most likely won't come to our wedding (health problems and very weak...understandable). Then he added, "...and probably for the rest of them who won't come to the wedding..." So now I don't even want to come to my own shower...because then that will give his family a home-free card for not coming to the wedding. Every time we go back to his hometown for family functions, everyone asks about the wedding and seemed genuinely excited to come...why couldn't they be more upfront with me about it? What hurts the most is them not making an effort...sure, my fiance is among the last to get married in the family...but still...my family from all over the country is coming. I've nearly bent over backwards to make sure my out of town guests (re: his family) will be taken care of when they come to our wedding...from hotels, to cute gift baskets that I'll be handing out, to shuttle services provided by my own family, and on and on...I just made newsletters on hotel and flight information...now I'm just wondering if I should just throw them all away.
Most brides are praying that not alot of people show up so that they can stay within budget...I'm trying to get all my guests to come! I'll be married into this family after all...I don't want this to tamper the start of becoming a family. What do you guys think? Am I wanting too much? I have 6 months to woo them over!