It is a second wedding for both of us and we are well established. We are having a very big wedding but absolutly dont want presents. We thought about suggesting a donation to a charity in place of a gift but weren't sure about the idea. So the other idea we came up with is including a label in the invite and ask everyone to write a personal message (in place of a card) on it and place it on their favorite bottle of wine. Then for the "favor" we will do the same and give them our favorite bottle to take home with a message from us on it.