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Snarky Brides

Talking about your wedding on FB

2

Re: Talking about your wedding on FB

  • OK - I thought long and hard about posting wedding details on FB AND the wedding website.

    WEDDING WEBSITE:
    Because I decided to send official invites, I was very vague about Where, time, location, etc. I used the wedding website as the place to answer the thousands of questions of who is he, how we met, photos etc.  I also included a statement that expresses my regrets for not being able to invite everyone due to budgetary constraints.

    FACEBOOK:
    I hardly mention anything except the number of days....as my friends do ask "how many more days?"
  • It's a really big, special day and I think that if you want to share your excitement you should go for it! Plus depending on the size of your friend list on Facebook people have to know they will not all be invited - I mean I have 700+ friends I think and some of them are people I haven't seen in years but I enjoy hearing what they're up to and I LOVE to read other people's wedding posts every now and then ... it's interesting. I agree with what other posters said earlier though ... just don't post five times a day as then it will get annoying for people.

    I would much rather hear a few special details about someone's wedding planning than every boring, personal detail some people post about their children. Kids are cute and I love the occasional photo or adorable anecdote as much as the next person but what really drives me nuts is the 4-hour update on their temperature, potty training progress or behavioral meltdown. I literally have a friend from high school who posted pictures of her daughter's child size potty when she went in it for the first time - that's just gross! So please, feel free to share your wedding details your friends will appreciate the break from some of the other stuff they see in their news feeds throughout the day!
  • Wow. If you don't want somebody invited to your wedding that you have on fb then maybe you shouldn't have them as a friend on fb. ya'll are saying not to post anything that goes on in your life then what exactly is fb for????? People are way too worried about what other people think.
  • I dont see a problem with a few here and there as long as its not a daily 'OMG WE'RE GETTING MARRIED IN XX MONTHS XX DAYS XX HOURS XX MINUTES XX SECONDS!!!! OMG" yea that annoys me lol. I probably have put a total of 4 WR posts on FB. I think one was about making my invitations, one was about buying my dress, and one was letting people know everything is fine with the wedding (some people were worrying)

    Most of the people who are on my FB and are not invited know and are OK with it because I told them (privately) that I wish I could invite everyone but I cant for budget purposes. Most of those people are friends that I dont know very well, havent spoken to in a long time. or are in other states/cities/countries. The people who were rude and just assumed they were invited were told in a firm and polite manner "Im sorry but you're not invited" (privately of course)

    Not everyone wants to know every tiny detail about your wedding so thats definitely something to keep into account when posting things on FB. Also you don't want people stealing your ideas (I'm a victim of idea theft...thanks friend thanks...)
  • I think posting the occasional update is fine, as long as you don't go overboard with the details. I posted when we got engaged, and that I "Said yes to the dress!," but that's about it. Some of my friends ask about wedding plans and whatnot, but depending on the question, I'll either answer on their wall or in a message. There are a lot of people I know from college that I would like to invite, but we simply can't afford to have a huge wedding, so I try not to say too much. One girl I know got married this summer and posted EVERYTHING about her plans. How many days they'd been apart, how many until the wedding, how long it took to do the invitations, etc. Way overkill.
  • I am one of those people who is ready to honor someone I haven't talked to in 10 years with a spot in my wedding party if they congratulate me (okay, not that bad, but you get the point).  I have a really hard time not inviting all my friends to my wedding, if someone came right out and asked me, I wouldn't be able to say no.   I haven't changed my status to "engaged."
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I say post what you want! if someone doesn't like it, they can hide you!
  • I don't say much if anything at all. Some people can be a bit rude and want to see tons of pics of things that I am not comfortable with. 

    Also, I know two people on my friends list that post quite a lot and have blogs about it, also they post really comments that almost sound childish. 
    "I'm marrying the best jewish guy in the world!" or "3 months, 12 days etc." or other things that are like "really? you want everyone to know that?" lol

    Personally, I don't post much but seeing someone post every little detail, picture, shopping trip, party, rsvp's etc., is a bit much, especially when those people don't even talk to you at all lol 

  • I say do whatever you want, if someone doesn't like it they can hide your status updates! This is the only time we can enjoy being engaged and planning our once in a lifetime weddings! To each their own!

    I think I used to post more often, but now I try not to. A lot due to invitations going out soon!
  • I  update my facebook with wedding stuff all the time, because i'm super excited and I know that family from away are always asking me what I have done so far and all that...We update the most boring, useless, everyday life stuff on FB everyday mostly ,why not add something exciting about your wedding! :)Smile
  • hI Im agree with i choose to post just little things like my fitting is today so xcited .. but not too often i prefer keep it in a little privacy sometimes i feel tempted to post many updates but i prefer to not!
  • I post some on my FB, not a lot. I posted going dress shopping, got my dress, looking at reception sites, things like that. We I got engaged I posted on face book for the world to know that finally after 10 years he asked. I am sure the day of my weeding I will post today is the day. I have a year until the day and I will do the monthly count down. I have a friend that did the same and it was nice to hear where they are at in the process. I have also had friend post question what do you think about this or here is my dilemma and to see the responses is very helpful, to me.  I am glad I have FB I am able to collect address from people that I have lost contact with that I want to invite and they would have never been invited without a social network.  If someone assume they are invited by you saying in 10 days until I get married or making any other commit out your wedding, they are crazy, it is no different than posting 2 day until my birthday party or family reunion just because it is said does not mean you are invited. How is posting on facebook “2 months to go” any different than running it to someone you have not seen in years and telling them that you are getting married in 2 months, does that mean they are invited to?
  • we both used our facebook to invite some on our guest list. there are many of our friends that we just wouldn't be able to get a hold of otherwise. but updates and wedding chatter is at a minimum the ones who want to know and are closest to us we will talk to about mostly face to face but not thought facebook.
     it may depend on what works for you, just like your dress in the long run!!
  • l.o.l yes it happened to me
  • I think people who have problems with people who post things on facebook shouldn't have a facebook. They are most likely jealous of your happiness... IF you don't like what someone writes you should block or hide their newsfeeds. I find it so disrespectful for people to judge what other people have to say, esp when they are excited and happy about the things they do and the people they love. Some family members in my wedding are doing the same thing to me and I find that super rude. POST what you want to POST! if they don't like what you have to say, tell them to defriend you. You don't need them... People who say that if you post updates about your wedding online with a countdown will get divorce in a couple months are horrible. There is a new generation of people that use the internet like that... if you don't understand... again you shouldn't be on facebook or you should de-friend people that do that... They don't need to be put down for being happy... its sad... Most of my friends don't have issues with me posting things on facebook its the older people and family that do... I wish there was a family setting on facebook, so I could block them from things I write...ahhh...
  • BRIDES! don't be ashamed to talk about your wedding! Talk about your wedding whatever way you want... don't listen to the haters! You know that the knot has a countdown clock too right!! 2 MONTHS AND 3 DAYS TO GO!! WOOOHOO Tongue out

  • I post about my wedding planning all the time, I only have a small group of 100 or so people on my facebook, and most of them are invited to my wedding. I actually asked once if they thought it was annoying or tacky that I posted about my wedding, and I got over 20 responses that people enjoyed the posts and the opportunity to share in my happiness. I agree with the above pp who said something along the lines of just because I post about my vacation, doesn't mean everyone on my friends list thinks they are invited to come with. I also agree about the moderation, I only post accomplishments, like finishing a DIY project or going dress shopping. There is more to my life than wedding planning, and I tend to update about that too. On a personal note, I would rather hear about a friend who is wedding planning gush about the excitement of dress shopping than see chain statuses, farmville updates, and stuff like "going to bed." Maybe that's just me :D
    image
    The truth behind a well laced dress
  • Anytime I post anything about my wedding I get at least 10-15 comments about things from my girl friends because we are facebook whores and because I know lots of girls... I have over 60 girls coming to my bridal shower and 80% aren't invited to the wedding just because we can't afford it and my friends understand... so yeah... Other friends/brides I constantly talk to about their weddings on facebook I don't expect them to invite me to their wedding and they aren't invited to mine either but I am greatful for all the help and information they give me. We pass on information to one another and sometimes I talk to them more than girls in my wedding party. And when my other friends get engaged I pass on information to them... I am a wedding vendor's dream client because I refer my friends and post their links on my FB wall... I'm just saying... *shrug* I follow no rules...and I do what I want. Tongue out
  • I've said a few things, though I try and keep it to a minimum and have been avoiding really talking to anyone over FB that isn't invited.  I have a friend that is getting married, I know I'm not invited and wouldn't expect to be and I love seeing her do the occassional wedding update.  I'm just not sure if some of the girls who keep asking me think they are invited, and don't respond or talk much to try and stop them from thinking.  I posted last night we were finalizing bridesmaid dresses as I was super excited to narrow it down (to 2 I'm in love with) only to have another when is it, thn have my bestest ask about her daughter's dress (flowergirl).

    I think if it's done with taste, it's ok, I can't say it's not good when I post the occasional and I enjoy seeing others.  Just the OMG's and the down to the min countdowns are a bit much.  days, maybe it depends on how many there are, I can see only months till the last, then maybe throw days in.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I think blow-by-blows are really annoying. But if you're as excited about your wedding as I am, it's okay to share that w/ your friends. It's all about how much detail you're going to go into.  What I did was created a FB event, made it private, and invited only my bridesmaids- It's better to gush to your girls than to everyone who will be attending, as that ruins all the little surprises. It also gives you a chance to give all your girls your ideas. I also did that b/c some of my bridesmaids are in different states & I wanted them to all know who eachother was, making it easier for my maid of honor to plan the B-party.

    Here's an example of what I have posted before "There's a sink full of dishes, but I prefer planning my wedding". Here's an example of what I wouldn't say "Trying to decide between (insert option A) and (insert option B) for centerpieces". That invites people to give you an opinion, and you've got to remember this day is YOURS not anyone elses.
  • Unless you have an unlimited catering budget.  Well, I have 300 friends and family that I can not afford to have crashing the event.  As it is, the rumor mill still had people asking me to come via my wall?  "Can I come!" and the awkward "when is your wedding, I'll try to make it."

    FYI:  Its not MY DAY, its OUR DAY, otherwise you don't need a husband, only a date to a party.
  • I only do a FB update that is wedding-related when I'm super excited about something... aka. when we got engaged, when we set the date, the first time I went dress shopping, when i bought my dress, and when we hit the "1 year" mark. I prob. won't do one again until something else big happens.

    Like several people have said, everything is fine unless you go overboard. Keep it short and simple! :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I agree with you....
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talking-wedding-fb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:71a22645-ce96-43f8-8c09-ae10d3f2aaa9Post:76d1471f-59ad-41f0-ab64-4113a586dfed">Re: Talking about your wedding on FB</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow. If you don't want somebody invited to your wedding that you have on fb then maybe you shouldn't have them as a friend on fb. ya'll are saying not to post anything that goes on in your life then what exactly is fb for????? People are way too worried about what other people think.
    Posted by Savannahwells[/QUOTE]

    I think the big thing for a lot of brides, myself included, is that while you'd like to be able to invite everyone you're friends with on FB, your budget just doesn't allow it. I have friends from high school that I like being able to keep in touch with on FB, but I don't feel close enough to invite them to our wedding. I also have people that I used to work with that I have on there for networking purposes, I'm not planning to invite them though.

    I think keeping FB updates about your wedding to a minimum is best. The last thing you want to do is post so much that people know so much about the big day they feel like they don't need to come! And if someone does comment on a post about an invite when you can't (or rather wouldn't) have them there, it's best to let them know privately that your budget won't allow for it, that you need to make sure your family is able to be there. Most people will understand that aspect of it and it shouldn't hurt your friendship with them.
  • I actually ended up deleting facebook because of how annoying people we're being. I got asked a couple of times if certain people were invited! And these are people I would never even think of inviting because I don't know them well.

    From the minute I changed my status to engaged people went crazy lol.

    I just didn't wanna deal with it so I deactivated my account for now.
  • I'm making my own dress and I've had a lot of friends inquiring about the progress, so I set up an album following the making of (aptly titled "dresses aren't scary, dresses aren't scary....").  I've had a lot of nice words and encouragement, but my status updates are my status updates; not wedding related.  I think that's my personal version of all things in moderation.

    :)
    So every sweet with sour is tempered still that maketh it be coveted the more For easy things that may be got at will most sorts of men do set but little store. Why then should I account of little pain That endless pleasure shall unto me gain?
  • I do talk about my wedding on FB. And even have the date listed in the "about me section". To be exact it says "after being engaged for 3yrs we're finally tying the knot on Jan 1st!". Over all I've gotten few comments from people who aren't invited. Mostly just "it's getting close" or "congratulations" sort of stuff. And I've commented on lots of peoples WR FB posts and wasn't invited to their weddings (nor expected to be). I think people can pretty much guess they're not invited or are. The only akward wedding invite moment I had was this girl called me to ask me if she was invited even though she filed for divorce from my fiances best friend a wk before hand.... yes she still was because they were friends... now she's not because she's gloating over the divorce all over facebook and told my fiance that she didn't want to hear crap from him when he told her to stop gloating over crushing his besties heart because my fiance has never been married (this is her 3rd divorce and the whole relationship(including marriage) lasted 6months, even though we've been together just shy of 5yrs).
  • Custom privacy settings on posts. I do it all the time.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talking-wedding-fb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:71a22645-ce96-43f8-8c09-ae10d3f2aaa9Post:0799a77b-b270-4703-b363-034b78d007d3">Re: Talking about your wedding on FB</a>:
    [QUOTE]Custom privacy settings on posts. I do it all the time.
    Posted by Kristi_M1123[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yep that's what I did. You can just make a "friends list" of people who are invited to your wedding (don't have to do everyone, but whoever you think would be interested in your wedding plans) and when you post a status about the wedding, customize the privacy settings for that status. i've done this with a "wedding inspiration" photo album as well. so...</div><div>
    </div><div><strong>1- Make a wedding friends list</strong></div><div><strong>2- Write the status</strong></div><div><strong>3- click the lock image to edit privacy for that status</strong></div><div><strong>4- click "edit" then "specific people"</strong></div><div><strong>5- type the name of the wedding friends list</strong></div><div><strong>6- save & share</strong></div><div>
    </div><div>just remember to leave an element of surprise for the big day!</div>

    save the date
    "Here we stand from two distant lands, brought together by His hand" <3 my Aussie <BR>
  • I admit I have a count down and I look at it this way.... this wedding is the biggest thing thats happening in my life (just like some of my friends are having babies and getting promoted...or worse loosing their jobs) ...with a month left, people know if they are invited or not... and honestly I have not had any awkward posts from anyone who WASNT invited. Instead I have people not invited but sharing in my excitment.. Including a gradeschool friend that I lost touch with but recently been talking to MORE too BECAUSE of the wedding. And while she knows she isnt invited I feel like I am more likly to meet up with her now and become closer because she was so excited for me at an exciting time in my life.... Anyone else who doesnt like my wedding related chatter can HIDE me or defriend me. They obviously are not my friends. We are all adults...

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