What would you do?

andyandhillary · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:2194be79-1463-4892-866a-9c53f3630476">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : Because it's the child's food source. Many mothers choose not to formula feed because of the chemicals and other things that can be found in formula. Breastfeeding also has many health benefits that cannot be replaced in formula, like antibodies. It also reduces a mother's risk of breast cancer. If every woman breastfed for at least the first 6 months of their child's life, it would save the US $13 billion a year in health care costs (clicky) . I honestly feel that there's nothing wrong with seeing a boob. It's a boob. If fat men can be shirtless at the beach, women should be allow to breastfeed. I have much nicer boobs than those fat men at the beach.
Posted by btrflykate1230[/QUOTE]

I'm not denying the benefits of breast feeding but like you have pointed out you can pump or feed at home. Public boobage isn't necessary.

I think it's silly that people act all modest and then Bam! They have a baby and the boobs are coming out. Why is a mother's boob any more acceptable than mine? They look somewhat the same (lol).

btrflykate1230 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:48ae7281-fbbe-4134-a88a-9f9f8f3b817e">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just think that there are so many ways around whipping out an uncovered boob to breastfeed in public. Go to a bathroom. Cover yourself up. Pump before you go, and use a bottle. I don't think that asking someone to cover themselves is a rude thing at all- if she just had her boob out for the sake of having her boob out, or course she would be asked to cover up or leave, why should it be any different because she is with a child? I also think that if the owner of the cafe found her public breastfeeding offensive, I see no reason for him to not be allowed to ask her to leave- I don't see it as discrimatory, and it is his private business, so I don't really see a problem with it.
Posted by mrs.jesse[/QUOTE]

Then, there would be breastfeed-ins. I'm not joking. Women would sit outside of the restaurant and breastfeed their children. I believe it's illegal to kick a woman out of an establishment for breastfeeding, but I might be wrong.

katiewhompus · May 2010

I would be on the mom's side (if she were covered) but wouldn't say anything because I don't like starting a ruckus.
Honestly if I had to feed a baby at a restaurant I would either go to the bathroom and perch on the sink counter or just go sit in the car. At least in a car (again covered) it's a bit more private and less in other people's faces.

ggmae · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:48ae7281-fbbe-4134-a88a-9f9f8f3b817e">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just think that there are so many ways around whipping out an uncovered boob to breastfeed in public. Go to a bathroom. Cover yourself up. Pump before you go, and use a bottle. I don't think that asking someone to cover themselves is a rude thing at all- if she just had her boob out for the sake of having her boob out, or course she would be asked to cover up or leave, why should it be any different because she is with a child? I also think that if the owner of the cafe found her public breastfeeding offensive, I see no reason for him to not be allowed to ask her to leave- I don't see it as discrimatory, and it is his private business, so I don't really see a problem with it.
Posted by mrs.jesse[/QUOTE]

In the situation on the show, he was being a royal asshole about it. He was being disrespectful to her - I would have stood up for her for that reason.

alixzafiris · May 2010

Totally off-topic, but Kate, every time I look at your signature, I think of this 'lil cutie...

There's probably no resemblance whatsover, but between your teeny little photo and my two bottles of wine I'm seeing one

crfische · May 2010

Oh for fucks sake, people just because there are people that CHOOSE to breastfeed and be parents doens't mean the the rest of the public should just ACCEPT it and move on.

Really? do you have that little regard for society that you just dont give a shiit about the majority of people in a restaurant who go out to relieve some stress and have a good time and someone has to watch a human suckling your boob? REALLY?

Just because you give birth doesn't give you a get of social norms free card to just expose yourself to whoever and say I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK. IM A BF MOM AND PROUD.

Sheesh!

Nebb · May 2010

I do know that a LOT of breastfeeding women are raelly gung-ho about it being acceptable and putting the baby first but I think that just disregards everyone else. I think you need to be respectful of the people around you, while also feeding your baby. I think covering up, even just a little so your breast is not visible, is the best option. Its just so in your face if the boob is right out there uncovered, and that makes people uncomfrtable. As sexualized as our society are, we are still quite modest in some regards.

ggmae · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:2c813f15-230f-428c-9796-bbea8c7a6816">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : Then, there would be breastfeed-ins. I'm not joking. Women would sit outside of the restaurant and breastfeed their children. I believe it's illegal to kick a woman out of an establishment for breastfeeding, but I might be wrong.
Posted by btrflykate1230[/QUOTE]

The show said that in all but 3 states, it is legal to BF in a public place.

btrflykate1230 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:6bc33968-9718-44f8-b677-1e4b5b09ce5f">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : I'm not denying the benefits of breast feeding but like you have pointed out you can pump or feed at home. Public boobage isn't necessary. I think it's silly that people act all modest and then Bam! They have a baby and the boobs are coming out. Why is a mother's boob any more acceptable than mine? They look somewhat the same (lol).
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

Hillary-- I do agree that there's no "need" for it, but I just personally wouldn't be bothered by it. And I know there are ways around it, but some women do have difficulty pumping and don't want to give their child formula.

Question for those of you against it: Do you think that guests invited to weddings should be allowed to bring their breastfeeding child to the wedding? If so, where do you expect the child to eat if the mother won't feed her kid in the bathroom? Because I would assume that the mother would feed her kid at the reception. I would never breastfeed my child in a bathroom (when I was, anyway).

andyandhillary · May 2010

Another issue is exposing children to women's breasts. You have no idea what the beliefs are of the people around you. Personally, I do not want my 13 son on the verge of puberty getting a boob shot. Boobs, even if designed for feeding, will always be very sexual.

ggmae · May 2010

My cousin's wife was BFing her 3 month old at the time of my wedding. I'm pretty sure she fed her in the car or in the bathroom, because she disappeared once or twice during the reception.

andyandhillary · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:20e6d331-5888-4f24-94c4-cd0bbb4d1d00">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : Hillary-- I do agree that there's no "need" for it, but I just personally wouldn't be bothered by it. And I know there are ways around it, but some women do have difficulty pumping and don't want to give their child formula. Question for those of you against it: Do you think that guests invited to weddings should be allowed to bring their breastfeeding child to the wedding? If so, where do you expect the child to eat if the mother won't feed her kid in the bathroom? Because I would assume that the mother would feed her kid at the reception. I would never breastfeed my child in a bathroom (when I was, anyway).
Posted by btrflykate1230[/QUOTE]

To each their own I guess. I will probably feel different when I have kids. I'm sure that changes one's perspective on the issue so I definitely see your POV.

As far as weddings go, my biggest issue is being covered up. My SILs will all be feeding at my wedding but they also all use the cover up things.

alixzafiris · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:20e6d331-5888-4f24-94c4-cd0bbb4d1d00">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : Question for those of you against it: Do you think that guests invited to weddings should be allowed to bring their breastfeeding child to the wedding? If so, where do you expect the child to eat if the mother won't feed her kid in the bathroom? Because I would assume that the mother would feed her kid at the reception. I would never breastfeed my child in a bathroom (when I was, anyway).
Posted by btrflykate1230[/QUOTE]

I just don't understand why "they" couldn't bring formula, or pump beforehand and feed the kid from a bottle. That way there's no bathroom feeding (which I don't agree with either) AND no discomfort for other patrons and/or guests.

btrflykate1230 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:57f78d06-775e-46e7-ac72-90cc795ad6bc">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh for fucks sake, people just because there are people that CHOOSE to breastfeed and be parents doens't mean the the rest of the public should just ACCEPT it and move on. Really? do you have that little regard for society that you just dont give a shiit about the majority of people in a restaurant who go out to relieve some stress and have a good time and someone has to watch a human suckling your boob? REALLY? Just because you give birth doesn't give you a get of social norms free card to just expose yourself to whoever and say I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK. IM A BF MOM AND PROUD. Sheesh!
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

If they cover up, is that an issue? I just don't get what the problem is if the mother is covered up. Is it more that you know she's breastfeeding?

Like, would this bother you?:
<a href="http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/3b/d/AAAAAlTJjisAAAAAADvS0A.jpg" rel="nofollow">http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/3b/d/AAAAAlTJjisAAAAAADvS0A.jpg</a>

crfische · May 2010

I won't feel differently when I have kids.

I think there is a time and place for breastfeeding and in public is not the time nor the place.

btrflykate1230 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:c9ae6d35-e984-4646-a45f-b6efdfc2c228">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : I just don't understand why "they" couldn't bring formula, or pump beforehand and feed the kid from a bottle. That way there's no bathroom feeding (which I don't agree with either) AND no discomfort for other patrons and/or guests.
Posted by alixzafiris[/QUOTE]

Some women (not myself, I breastfed and formula fed) believe that formula is awful, nasty stuff and would never feed it to their child. These same women may also not be able to pump breastmilk.

Oh, and who is that kid? He does look a bit like Declan!

alixzafiris · May 2010

He's baby Edward!

(oh god, I need an intervention)

crfische · May 2010

Yup. It sure would.

Why can't that be done in private?

They make breast pumps for a reason. Both of my SIL's either leave and feed them somewhere out of the public like respectable women would, or they prepare a bottle before they go out.

Babies are on schedules. You can't tell me that you don't know what a baby is going to get hungry. if you know you're going to be in public, prepare for that.

I fail to see the situation where someone would be all "omg, I NEVER thought my baby would be hungry, I'm sorry, I'm just gonna let him suckle my boob right here in public, and I don't care if it bothers anyone because I'm a mom and I'm THAT important."

katiewhompus · May 2010

Put down the Twilight and back away slowly...

btrflykate1230 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:ecb80daf-e215-439c-af92-51472cff9c12">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]He's baby Edward! (oh god, I need an intervention)
Posted by alixzafiris[/QUOTE]

Does that mean my kid will look like Robert Pattinson when he's older?!

Yeah, I knew he was meant to be a lady killer ;) (ba dum ching!)

alixzafiris · May 2010

Ahahaha, I can't help it. This is my brain:

crfische · May 2010

Alix.

As much as I love your crazy ass, you'd probably breast feed edward, wouldn't you.

...in public.

btrflykate1230 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:02b1774b-209b-4a56-a6ea-da1f40bc974e">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yup. It sure would. Why can't that be done in private? They make breast pumps for a reason. Both of my SIL's either leave and feed them somewhere out of the public like respectable women would, or they prepare a bottle before they go out. Babies are on schedules. You can't tell me that you don't know what a baby is going to get hungry. if you know you're going to be in public, prepare for that. I fail to see the situation where someone would be all "omg, I NEVER thought my baby would be hungry, I'm sorry, I'm just gonna let him suckle my boob right here in public, and I don't care if it bothers anyone because I'm a mom and I'm THAT important."
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

I totally get that schedule thing. I do. I couldn't bring myself to BF in public. I pumped or gave formula. But, I personally don't see anything wrong with feeding a baby in public.

I don't think it's self-importance. Some women have trouble pumping and don't want to give their kids formula. They want to do what they feel is best for the baby (and BTW, this is also what the AAP and WHO says is best for the baby-- for the baby to get the milk straight from the breast).

alixzafiris · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:65a5df33-4b72-40cb-8519-b6571bbe7d44">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Alix. As much as I love your crazy ass, you'd probably breast feed edward, wouldn't you. ...in public.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

Breastfeed no, forcefully mash his face into my chest? Possibly... <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-surprised.gif" border="0" alt="Surprised" title="Surprised" />

crfische · May 2010

Then they can go somewhere private.

For every ONE mother who gets it? there's 40 of me who think they are crazy and gross and lose their appetite when they whip their kid under their shirt.

They need to just STOP thinking that they are are SO IMPORTANT that everyone understands!

They dont. Nor do people care. They stare. and they think it's weird, and wrong, adn that you are putting your child at risk by the weirdos that might be watching you.

There's no excuse for it.

btrflykate1230 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:f469296d-e037-4382-9347-8e40d9c8553a">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Then they can go somewhere private. For every ONE mother who gets it? there's 40 of me who think they are crazy and gross and lose their appetite when they whip their kid under their shirt. They need to just STOP thinking that they are are SO IMPORTANT that everyone understands! They dont. Nor do people care. They stare. and they think it's weird, and wrong, adn that you are putting your child at risk by the weirdos that might be watching you. There's no excuse for it.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

That has not been my experience, but, I understand that everyone has a different POV.

crfische · May 2010

Have you taken polls of people in restaurants?

If people don't complain it's because they fear they can't for the wrath of the breast feeding mothers of the world.

Really. Is it THAT HARD to go somewhere private?

bel138 · May 2010

I would say something because she was well within her legal rights. And he was a douche.

I see MUCH more offensive things every day in public. Most women don't just flop out their tits. If I see a little nipple rim, it's no more than I see on the beach or saw at the bar in college from slutty drunk girls. If a woman is being discreet with a blanket or whatnot, all I'm seeing is the cleavage area of the breast that she could show me in a low cut shirt anyway.

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

Bel- gorgeous! Your eyes look very Anne Hathaway meets Audrey Hepburn

crfische · May 2010

Really? because I don't find things around here much more gross than a human attached to a human with a mother who is so oblivious to the fact that she's offending a whole restaurant.

What would you do?

Re: What would you do?

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