What Do You Think It Means to be a Maid??

revived86 · January 2011

An important word in my last post was "rudely" telling them you hate the dress- i don't think there is anything wrong with a BM telling the bride, "You know, honestly this color/style/neckline is just not flattering at all on me...could we try to work something else out?" or "I really can't afford to buy this dress, i'm sorry."

But, "Are you effing kidding me?? This dress is so ugly! How could you even THINK i would wear that??" ...i don't think that's right.

AutumnFair · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_think-means-maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:214f145e-1b02-4bcf-84fe-678d25b95ebaPost:8d1d94f5-7502-4d74-b61b-99a349712633">Re: What Do You Think It Means to be a Maid??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What Do You Think It Means to be a Maid?? : I didnt say ALL the SB posters agreed with me. I just saw that one girls comment and then also saw several comments that said people were tired of hearing that all your BMs need to do is show up. I am sooo not trying to start a board war:-( it makes me really sad that you think i am...i saw someone post on there just yesterday, too, so i thought it was still an active thread. someone pointed out that WP thread at the beginning of this one- when i first posted on here i had been under the impression that this board was for BMs and moms rather than brides, while the WP board was for brides. I understand thats not the case now, tho. I have no plans to repost this question anywhere, btw:-)
Posted by revived86[/QUOTE]

Please point them out because I went through that whole thread and only one commented on it, no one else did.

bablingbrooke · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_think-means-maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:214f145e-1b02-4bcf-84fe-678d25b95ebaPost:32a5990f-556f-4079-8022-22075eb45e1d">Re: What Do You Think It Means to be a Maid??</a>:
[QUOTE]An important word in my last post was "rudely" telling them you hate the dress- i don't think there is anything wrong with a BM telling the bride, "You know, honestly this color/style/neckline is just not flattering at all on me...could we try to work something else out?" or "I really can't afford to buy this dress, i'm sorry." But, "Are you effing kidding me?? This dress is so ugly! How could you even THINK i would wear that??" ...i don't think that's right.
Posted by revived86[/QUOTE]
Well, among friends that may be the norm. BFFs should be able to share their opinions on outfits, and one of the most valuable things a friend can do is call you on your bullshit. But it's very very rare you see a BM using words like that. More often it's the dissent at all that the bride finds is a problem.

revived86 · January 2011

it was right on the front page. To be totally honest, i am not invested in this enough to go copypaste all of them and track them down. if you think that means it proves that i'm wrong on this, that's okay with me:-)

palegirl146 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_think-means-maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:214f145e-1b02-4bcf-84fe-678d25b95ebaPost:d57a9f4d-0009-4979-aa87-e9e1a6458d46">Re: What Do You Think It Means to be a Maid??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What Do You Think It Means to be a Maid?? : I missed this post before so I just read it now, and it provides a ton of clarity to me about what you think about weddings- we definitely fundamentally disagree about what weddings/friendship are about. lol. I don't really get the whole "your wedding will be superseded by other things" argument that you made- i don't make lists of the most important experiences of my life from 1 to 10, i just know that i believe that weddings are a really big deal- much more than just a party. my wedding and all the planning i did for it was very important to me and i think that that's okay. It's fine if you think i'm just brainwashed by the wedding industry, but this is how i feel. When you're friends with someone, the things that are important to them should become important to you to at least some certain degree. It doesnt have to take over your life or make you go into thousands of dollars of debt, but you could do something to show that you care about what is (probably) the biggest thing in your friends' life right now. So, agree to disagree i guess. Thanks for the lively discussion;-)
Posted by revived86[/QUOTE]

I love the way you said this. I think you have the right balance. If you truly believe this, then you care when your friends have kids and you hate kids. You are excited when your friends get a new job even if you are unemployed. You want to help friends move because you are excited that they are moving. And you want to be involved in the wedding process because you feel so honored to be asked to be a bridesmaid. That being said, I still don't think brides should force or expect a BM to do anything more than what the BM asks to help with or wants to be a part of. But if you don't want to be involved in a wedding, you can always say "No" to being a BM.

What Do You Think It Means to be a Maid??

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