Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Wedding Etiquette Forum
Reception Only, what to wear?
My husband and I married at the court house on his 2 weeks of leave from Afghanistan and the day that we left the hospital after having our son. We want to have a reception now, a year later. What should I wear? I'd love to have a fancy wedding dress but is that awkward without a ceremony before hand???
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Reception Only, what to wear?
A big white ball gown is strange when you are basically throwing a party to celebrate your marriage (think basically a lovely anniversary party). You can wear what you want. But I would feel silly wearing a huge wedding dress when I'm a married woman.
Planning Bio
Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*
Books read in 2012: 21/50
Fatty girl blog
136 Ready to party
91 Won't be attending
[QUOTE]I say wear it. You decided to get married on his leave and you just had a baby. In my <strong>terrible</strong> opinion, I think this is an ok exception.
Posted by PaddysGirl8[/QUOTE]
FTFY
Planning Bio
Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only, what to wear? : FTFY
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]
Haha Habs.
I vote for a short white dress.
[QUOTE]If you are just having a reception party it would seem awkward to have the big white ball gown. However, maybe you can make it some sort of vow renewal, that way you can dress it up a bit more. Also, if you had been able to have your dream wedding the first time around, would it have been a religious ceremony? I ask because if that's so, maybe you can do that ceremony now then you can have the full-on wedding gown and party. With that said, your circumstances are unique so if you and your H don't feel weird about it and you think your families and friends wouldn't find it odd that you did the whole shebang so long after the fact, do it. And if you know anyone who might give you the side eye about a delayed reception, don't invite them. I just think that it might be best to forgo registering and expecting any gifts (although some people might still bring something).
Posted by Squishy'sGal[/QUOTE]
Please don't listen to any of this. Your situation is not unique. Yes, it would be weird to have a fake wedding a year later. Good luck finding a priest/pastor/whatever to perform a fake wedding ceremony. Vow renewals at one year aren't my bag, but if done properly they can be ok.
"Halloween may have loose women scantily clad...
But Christmas has a pregnant virgin.
Way cooler." - anna.oskar
If proper etiquette on this is important to you, and I assume it is since you posted on this board, don't wear a big white dress. As you can see from your poll results, most people advise against it.
"Halloween may have loose women scantily clad...
But Christmas has a pregnant virgin.
Way cooler." - anna.oskar
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only, what to wear? : Please don't listen to any of this. Your situation is not unique. Yes, it would be weird to have a fake wedding a year later. Good luck finding a priest/pastor/whatever to perform a fake wedding ceremony. Vow renewals at one year aren't my bag, but if done properly they can be ok.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>I don't see how having a religious ceremony after the civil ceremony is a fake wedding. The civil ceremony makes it legal but the religious ceremony is a commitment before God - how is that fake? And who the hell is anybody to say that having a big reception after the fact is wrong? As long as she doesn't register and makes it clear that she wants no gifts (cash or otherwise), why not have a great big, fancy celebration with family and friends?</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only, what to wear? : I don't see how having a religious ceremony after the civil ceremony is a fake wedding. The civil ceremony makes it legal but the <strong>religious ceremony is a commitment before God</strong> - how is that fake? And who the hell is anybody to say that having a big reception after the fact is wrong? As long as she doesn't register and makes it clear that she wants no gifts (cash or otherwise), why not have a great big, fancy celebration with family and friends?
Posted by Squishy'sGal[/QUOTE]
Last time I checked, God was everywhere. :)
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only, what to wear? : I don't see how having a religious ceremony after the civil ceremony is a fake wedding. The civil ceremony makes it legal but the religious ceremony is a commitment before God - how is that fake? [/QUOTE]
A religious ceremony that takes place a year after a couple is married would be a convalidation, not a wedding. Those are meant to be very low key and not wedding-like. It is the church blessing the marriage. Although I'd think this disingenuous, in that if it's important for a couple to be married in their church, they should have done so in the first place. I'd think differently in a case where a couple just started practicing a new religion, but that's generally not a situation that gets discussed here.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-what-to-wear?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bc505dd-58a5-4feb-aef2-3dfec1087a9dPost:63cd2e92-5eaa-4fee-8846-91fd58fe5405">Re: Reception Only, what to wear?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only, what to wear? :And who the hell is anybody to say that having a big reception after the fact is wrong? As long as she doesn't register and makes it clear that she wants no gifts (cash or otherwise), why not have a great big, fancy celebration with family and friends?
Posted by Squishy'sGal[/QUOTE]
It's fine to have an anniversary party that doesn't resemble a wedding if they want to celebrate their marriage with their loved ones. As has been said, the ship has sailed on a reception. The reception is a thank you to people who have attended the wedding ceremony.
[QUOTE]They don't HAVE to get married.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]
This.
Also, I agree their situation is far from "unique" -- there are almost 1.5 active military personnel in this country. It comes with its own set of issues and sacrifices like everything in life.
I have no problem with an anniversary party to celebrate your fairly recent marriage with your loved ones, but keeping it low key is the best way to ensure you don't look tacky. Sounds like you've pretty much got the right idea.
*edited for spelling
[QUOTE]Why is everyone suggesting a white dress? This is an etiquette board. You're fine to have a party celebrating the anniversary of your wedding. The length and the style of the dress depends on the formality of the party. I get that hardly anyone is a virgin when they get married but you've already had the wedding and you have the child. I think there are much more appropriate color options that would still be fun and gorgeous to wear. I'm really not trying to be rude but this is an etiquette board- the length and style of the dress have nothing to do with this situation but the color does.
Posted by Caroli1210[/QUOTE]
::facepalm::
A white wedding dress has nothing to do with virginity. People wore white to show they were rich, that the dress would be worn only once (Queen Victoria started it) Look it up before you say things that you have no idea about.
And we are suggesting a short dress so she doesn't look like she is having a re-do.</div>
Planning Bio
Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*
Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength, and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend. - Andrew Futral
[QUOTE]I say wear it. You decided to get married on his leave and you just had a baby. In my opinion, I think this is an ok exception.
Posted by PaddysGirl8[/QUOTE]
totally agree. do whatever YOU want!
My opinion is that there are more appropriate options but if she wants to wear a white dress then fine.
[QUOTE]This is one area of etiquette that I don't agree with... if a couple has to get legally married in a short period of time, for one reason or another, I don't see why they can't have the big party later with the dress, the cake, etc. Registries and showers would be tacky, IMO, since the couple is already married, but I guess I don't mind the rest of it. However, that's just my opinion and it is NOT etiquette. If proper etiquette on this is important to you, and I assume it is since you posted on this board, don't wear a big white dress. As you can see from your poll results, most people advise against it.
Posted by angelstar975[/QUOTE]
<div>I totally agree with everything this post mentioned. Please thank your husband for his service. And thank you for supporting him. </div>