Deleted

danieliza1127 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_over-dead-body?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90500a2d-9419-45d6-8c7f-5347b6d2e457Post:3744e8af-0c12-489f-9f43-ac353840a74f">Re: OVER MY DEAD BODY</a>:
[QUOTE] Thank you to the people who offered real advice. (read: Chocoholic.) I appreciate it as it has been very helpful.
Posted by bugandsquirrel[/QUOTE]

I also offered real advice. I get that you have a real question.

If he was invited before he started dating her and not with an "and Guest", then you have every right to say no if he asks to bring her. But if you invited with "and Guest", then you don't really get to pick and choose who his guest may be.

Hopefully he will understand that you guys wouldn't want her there and why. If he's really a good friend, I would think you could logically explain it to him and that he would understand.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2010

I wouldn't want to go to my ex-boyfriend's wedding unless I was a glutton for punishment.

I disagree. If your wedding is in May it means they will have been together for at least 6 months - plenty long enough to constitute a relationship. I'd invite both or neither. I'd lean towards neither, and if your friend asks, tell him you can't bear to have her there, but you still love him.

tidetravel · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_over-dead-body?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:90500a2d-9419-45d6-8c7f-5347b6d2e457Post:e42d5afc-88d0-4add-8b47-4f4ac5fd8495">Re: OVER MY DEAD BODY</a>:
[QUOTE]If she hates you that much she won't attend your wedding.
Posted by L-Bride[/QUOTE]

Oh, but she WILL PUT A STOP TO THE NUPTIALS!

OP - I suggest you skip the "speak now or forever hold your peace" portion of the ceremony.

laurenclaire1386 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_over-dead-body?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90500a2d-9419-45d6-8c7f-5347b6d2e457Post:3744e8af-0c12-489f-9f43-ac353840a74f">Re: OVER MY DEAD BODY</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry for misrepresenting the situation. I wasn't trying to invite insults to my personality or lifestyle. The post was meant to be kind of funny, but there is a legitimate question underneath. I have sent out invitations already. I'm sorry if that didn't coincide with other's timelines but I had to do it quickly because many of my friends are actors and so their living/working situations change at the drop of the hat. My FI and I just wanted them to know that YES, they are invited and when so to please plan on attending. We were trying to be understanding that things change so quickly. We didn't really have enough money to do STDs and invites so we tried to kill two birds with one stone. Perhaps that was wrong. I am sorry I even posted this...I was trying to make light of a situation that is very upsetting to me. (Someone who hates me so viciously can attend my wedding because I made a stupid mistake.) Thank you to the people who offered real advice. (read: Chocoholic.) I appreciate it as it has been very helpful.
Posted by bugandsquirrel[/QUOTE]
Ok this isn't fair. Yes I did poke fun at you because I'm a funny gal. Buuuut then I gave you actual, real advice. There was someone at my wedding who has despised me my entire life and has taken every possible opportunity to criticize me and my immediate family to anyone who will listen and she was at my wedding and no one's head exploded. I'm just trying to tell you (and I know how trite this sounds, believe me) that it's not the end of the world and there's a pretty good chance A. she won't even show up and B. if she does, <em>nothing will happen.</em>

salt78 · December 2010

WTF. I gave real advice. I feel so slighted.

I think I will go dramatically throw myself off a bridge now.

FutureMrsTR · December 2010

If situations change so quickly, how will anyone be able to respond to your invitation so soon? With 6 months to go, he'll probably forget that he ever got an invite.

LDYGTR13 · December 2010

Oh, yeah, I totally remember LC's issues - she's probably the best person around to give you advice on this here delimma. Listen to LC - she's pretty much a smartypants.

If there IS a wild dog attack, you know we expect pics, right?

salt78 · December 2010

Now I'm thinking of wild dogs dressed in tuxedos. It makes me smile.

ohwhynot · December 2010

I'll pretend I think this is a true post:

Does your friend know that she's still in love with your fiance?

As Mery pointed out, by the time your wedding rolls around, they will have been together for quite a while, so hopefully all her feelings toward your fiance will have faded. Why she's still in love with a man who left her for another woman is beyond me, but hey, love is strange sometimes.

In any event, if your friend and the ex are still together when you marry, she's HIS girlfriend now, not just your fiance's ex. She gets to attend if she wants to.

And your dog pack will have to cool it - let the past go. Why on earth would they harbor ill will toward her at this point? Really?

squirrly · December 2010

For future reference and any lurkers reading, invites go out no earlier than 6 - 10 weeks, and 10 is really pushing it. No exceptions, no matter what your career. If you want to give earlier notice, you do so with an STD sent 6 - 8 months before the wedding (up to a year if it's a holiday weekend). STDs can be raelly, really cheap - check my bio for examples. Ours were $0.88 each, including postage, I think. And they included magnets. If you need them to be free, a well designed email can do the trick in a pinch.

Now, to the issue at hand:
If you invited him with a guest, he's free to bring whomever. If you're really truly very close to him and he's considering bringing her, I'd probably have lunch and a chat with him. Let him know she's called your FI's mom and quasi-threatened your wedding (or whatever it really was), and that you're concerned. Odds are he's got a better read on her than you do right now, and also, that he wants to get his drink on at the wedding and not babysit her or be embarassed by her. If he thinks she'll be a lot of trouble, and you don't care if she's still pissed at you, tell him he's free to blame you for not bringing her, if that's easier for him, but ONLY if it's HIS CHOICE to attend without her.

However - I'd probably wait until, say, March, to think about this. They might not even be together then. If she's that nuts, odds are good she'll freak him out before then.

L-Bride · December 2010

I also have to say that it's suspect that you both "fell in love at first sight" and neither of you knew how you felt about each other. I don't know how I would feel if I found out my ex had feelings for someone we worked with and got together with them after we broke up. It's just hard for me to believe you're the total victim in this.

You have him now- she has a boyfriend. It doesn't matter what she thinks at this point.

bugandsquirrel · December 2010

I am sorry...I really just don't want the post up there anymore. And it won't let me delete it permanently. I sincerely thank you all for your advice, even the kinda rude ones, haha. I really am not being that dramatic about it, I was just trying to have a laugh and still get some answers. It obviously didn't work like I thought it would. I am trying to plan a wedding with my mom very far away and it has been hard. I have made PLENTY of mistakes, including the OP. I just posted it on a whim because there were a lot of random posts on the site. Perhaps I just looked to the wrong forum. It's too late to change somethings and since this is my only wedding, there is no opportunity to do it right "next time." I really don't think she will be in attendance and no one will kill anyone, I promise. I really was just using hyperbole for how uncomfortable people would be. Again, I appreciate the comments. Maybe my sense of humor is more suited to Cracked Magazine, haha.

salt78 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_over-dead-body?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90500a2d-9419-45d6-8c7f-5347b6d2e457Post:4bb08060-a83e-40ad-82f6-c62c9e2023af">Re: Deleted</a>:
[QUOTE]I am sorry...I really just don't want the post up there anymore. And it won't let me delete it permanently. I sincerely thank you all for your advice, even the kinda rude ones, haha. I really am not being that dramatic about it, I was just trying to have a laugh and still get some answers. It obviously didn't work like I thought it would. I am trying to plan a wedding with my mom very far away and it has been hard. I have made PLENTY of mistakes, including the OP. I just posted it on a whim because there were a lot of random posts on the site. Perhaps I just looked to the wrong forum. It's too late to change somethings and since this is my only wedding, there is no opportunity to do it right "next time." I really don't think she will be in attendance and no one will kill anyone, I promise. I really was just using hyperbole for how uncomfortable people would be. Again, I appreciate the comments. Maybe my sense of humor is more suited to Cracked Magazine, haha.
Posted by bugandsquirrel[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>No harm no foul. It's just tough to know how to take you when you have never posted here before. For all we know, you were being totally serious about everything you were saying. (You'd be shocked at how many girls on here have been seriously like that.)

</div>

LDYGTR13 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_over-dead-body?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90500a2d-9419-45d6-8c7f-5347b6d2e457Post:4bb08060-a83e-40ad-82f6-c62c9e2023af">Re: Deleted</a>:
[QUOTE]I am sorry...I really just don't want the post up there anymore. And it won't let me delete it permanently. I sincerely thank you all for your advice, even the kinda rude ones, haha. I really am not being that dramatic about it, I was just trying to have a laugh and still get some answers. It obviously didn't work like I thought it would. <strong> I am trying to plan a wedding with my mom very far away and it has been hard. I have made PLENTY of mistakes, including the OP. </strong> I just posted it on a whim because there were a lot of random posts on the site. Perhaps I just looked to the wrong forum. It's too late to change somethings and since this is my only wedding, there is no opportunity to do it right "next time." I really don't think she will be in attendance and no one will kill anyone, I promise. I really was just using hyperbole for how uncomfortable people would be. Again, I appreciate the comments. Maybe my sense of humor is more suited to Cracked Magazine, haha.
Posted by bugandsquirrel[/QUOTE]

I did the same thing - my mom is a few states away - and drives me nuts so I kept her out of it. If you keep coming around here, you'll get some AWESOME advice - and we'll snap you out of silliness pretty quickly. Just understand we're not being psycho married hags, we're just trying to keep you from makin' a fool of yourself!

We're here to help bring you back to reality - which, with your mom far away and you having a drama filled life - will probably come in VERY handy for you! Keep coming around, I promise we're not always evil =)

ast284 · December 2010

Is this real? Either way it would make a great Lifetime movie.... or something more along the lines of zombie bride!

Deleted

Re: Deleted

Choose Another Board

Search Boards