We're currently embroiled in the middle of the guest list drama. I thought everything was pretty smooth, but you just can't please everyone.
In short (kind of), my grandparents are divorced and cannot stand each other, but obviously they will have to make do at my wedding. They have two daughters - my Mom and her sister. I dislike my aunt, who is incredibly self-involved. My aunt talks to her Dad but not her Mom. In fact, if my aunt attends an event, my grandmother will not. I dislike my grandmother, too, but that's beside the point. I made the decision to not invite my aunt or her family. I have no relationship with them, I never really liked them, and it cause grief to my grandmother who would then pass that grief on to me and my Mom. Plus they don't socialize with anyone, they don't eat anything, they don't drink anything, and they leave after approximately a half hour - I would hate to have the 6 of them (she has 4 kids, and her husband) come to the wedding for thirty minutes, speak to no one, and leave and we'd be stuck paying nearly $200 for each of them! And again, besides the point, but she would only give me a $25 gift certificate to Barnes & Nobles. She always gives gift certificates to B&N because she's a teacher and likes to promote reading, and never for more than $25. So again, besides the point, but I don't like her, having her there will cause grief to my grandma, I haven't spoken to her in more than 6 years, she doesn't even know my FI's name or anything about us (she probably couldn't even tell you that I live in Miami), and they'll cost over $1200 to show up for a half hour and leave!
Seems simple, right? Except now my grandpa is throwing a fit that his daughter isn't invited, especially when more extended family (like my Mom's cousins and her step-aunt) are invited. He's called up my Mom to yell at her about it, and has started making noises about how "we wouldn't want a permanent rift in the family." My Mom was sobbing last night because she feels like she's stuck between a rock and a hard place, and it isn't even her decision - it's mine!
Uh, I haven't spoken to my aunt in 6 years! If she stopped speaking to us, I don't think any of us would notice. If she's upset that she's not invited, literally the only person she'd talk to would be my grandfather - she does not talk to anyone else in the family. So we wouldn't even have to hear it! It's an easy decision for me, and it's final, but I'm afraid my grandfather (who I am very close with) will keep dragging this out and the issue will cause a rift in our relationship. If this is the hill he wants to die on, so be it, but it seems pointless. I'm just planning on continuing to be polite but firm, and I did tell my grandpa that if he has any guestlist questions, I'm happy to discuss them, but he needs to direct those questions and issues to me and not my Mom.
Anyone have any advice? Any antecdotal evidence of other guest list drama to make me feel more normal?
