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Snarky Brides
kk10152011
member
HELP... need advice
Hi everyone! My name is Kris and I just got engaged a couple of weeks ago.... I joined TheKnot.com on Saturday and have been reading the forums ever since to find out where I fit in... I think I found it.... I love how funny and sarcastic you girls are while still giving great advice... of which I need some now...
I asked my BFFs to be my bridesmaids and I'm so excited for my wedding.... I don't want to invite one bridesmaids' BF though... I'm not comfortable being in the same room as him and him being there will ruin my day... I can't tell her why I don't want him there but he can't come so what do I say to her?
I asked my BFFs to be my bridesmaids and I'm so excited for my wedding.... I don't want to invite one bridesmaids' BF though... I'm not comfortable being in the same room as him and him being there will ruin my day... I can't tell her why I don't want him there but he can't come so what do I say to her?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: HELP... need advice
You have to invite all significant others, especially of people in your bridal party. You friend would never understand and it would put a terrible strain on your relationship with her. Ignore the fact that her BF is there that day, he's not important. Focus on your groom
Why don't you like him? Unless he's done something absolutely horrible to you or your FI, then you aren't justified in not inviting him.
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
[QUOTE]No she doesn't know I don't like him.... They are from my hometown and I no longer live there.... We used to be friends but he ruined that and I can't even stand to look at him anymore...
Posted by kk10152011[/QUOTE]
Well this just makes me even more curious. Why don't you like him? I need details. Are we talking "wouldn't go out with you and your feelings were hurt" dislike or "slipped something in your drink when you weren't looking" kind of hate?
Even worse than not inviting an SO is not giving your friend a reason. As of now, I still stand in that you have to invite him or you risk losing your friend.
My FI and I have been together a long time.... like since we were in high school long time.... A long long time ago... when we were still in high school... we got drunk with this friend.... We were all drunk and wanted to have a good time so we had a threesome..... I found out I was pregnant and had to have an abortion because we didn't know if the baby was his or my FI's.... We never told him so I can't tell his GF.
[QUOTE]My FI and I have been together a long time.... like since we were in high school long time.... A long long time ago... when we were still in high school... we got drunk with this friend.... We were all drunk and wanted to have a good time so we had a threesome..... <strong>I found out I was pregnant and had to have an abortion because we didn't know if the baby was his or my FI's.... We never told him so I can't tell his GF.</strong>
Posted by kk10152011[/QUOTE]
Okay, <strong>if</strong> this is absolutely true, what did the friend do that was so wrong? It seems like you decided to have sex with him, you realized you were pregnant, and you had an abortion. How is this his fault?
[QUOTE]My FI and I have been together a long time.... like since we were in high school long time.... A long long time ago... when we were still in high school... we got drunk with this friend.... We were all drunk and wanted to have a good time so we had a threesome..... I found out I was pregnant and had to have an abortion because we didn't know if the baby was his or my FI's.... We never told him so I can't tell his GF.
Posted by kk10152011[/QUOTE]
<div>Then its not really his fault that you dislike him, especially if he doesn't know. All of this pent up hate is your own fault. Don't punish him for decisions made without his knowledge. You were all consenting, and stupid in HS. You have to move on from this or it will eat you up. </div>
[QUOTE]He should have wore a condom...
Posted by kk10152011[/QUOTE]
<div>And you shouldn't have had sex without one either. You do have a say in your own sexual health. </div><div>
</div><div>ETA: If you don't tell him, and get it all out in the open and allow him to apologize, then you are holding a grudge against someone who has no idea you hate them. That is SO unproductive. </div>
Anyway it doesn't matter who was wrong then.... How can I get out of inviting him?
[QUOTE]He should have wore a condom...
Posted by kk10152011[/QUOTE]
Yes, and you should have checked to make sure he was wearing one, as well. It is your sexual health and you're responsible for it.
Aside from that, because i'm not trying to berate you for the choices you made, I'm still unsure of how this is his fault. Honestly, he didn't even know you were pregnant.
Invite him and be done with it. Maybe consider talking this issue out with someone (like a professional) to help you move past your anger towards him.
[QUOTE]He was a year ahead of us he should have known... Anyway it doesn't matter who was wrong then.... How can I get out of inviting him?
Posted by kk10152011[/QUOTE]
Okay, now I think this is MUD. Or you're just ridiculous.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: HELP... need advice : And you shouldn't have had sex without one either. You do have a say in your own sexual health. ETA: If you don't tell him, and get it all out in the open and allow him to apologize, then you are holding a grudge against someone who has no idea you hate them. That is SO unproductive.
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]
I like how we said the same line(sexual health) :P.
[QUOTE]He was a year ahead of us he should have known... Anyway it doesn't matter who was wrong then.... How can I get out of inviting him?
Posted by kk10152011[/QUOTE]
If you were old enough to be having sex, getting drunk, and having threesomes, then you should have known better. I can't even explain how much it angers me to hear people pass the blame on something like this.
ETA--for my own peace of mind, I'm going to assume this is MUD as well.
Eat.Drink.BeMarried. Blog.
[QUOTE]The only way you can get out of inviting him is to be open with him and his GF. They will most likely break up, and then you don't have to invite him. However, <strong>I wonder why you aren't mad at your FI as well. If you didn't know who the father was, then obviously he wasn't using protection either. How is none of this his fault?</strong>
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]
Excellent point. It should be interesting to see how the AE, I mean the OP, answers this one.
[QUOTE]My FI doesn't want him coming.... He's really jealous of the BF....
Posted by kk10152011[/QUOTE]
<div>Are you still in HS, because this is SO immature. YOu made adult decisions and now you have to live with them. Unless you are still sleeping with the other guy, your FI has nothing to be jealous over. </div>
[QUOTE]The only way you can get out of inviting him is to be open with him and his GF. They will most likely break up, and then you don't have to invite him. However, I wonder why you aren't mad at your FI as well. If you didn't know who the father was, then obviously he wasn't using protection either. How is none of this his fault?
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]
<div>Good catch. I'm confused 1. why your FI was ok with that (but that's another story), and 2. why you're just as pissed off at your fiance?! Was he wearing a condom?</div>
Eat.Drink.BeMarried. Blog.