a few questions

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

1) do i actually have to have the same number BMs as my FI has GM? originally we had 6 of each, but i recently had to kick out one of my BMs. we're not going to un-ask one of GM and i don't feel comfortable asking anybody else to be a BM. so i have 5 BMs and he has 6GM. is that weird?

2) Do I have to have a head table with my whole bridal party? my FI were talking about it and thought it would be kind of weird since my BMs don't know his GM and vice versa. so we talked about having our bridal party sit with their SO's during the reception. (all my BMs would end up at the same table together and all of his GM would end up at the same table together)

3) [kind goes along with number 2] can i skip the spotlight dance with the bridal party? again, they don't know each other.

4) is it wrong that i don't really think that we have to get our bridal part members gifts? please keep in mind we live in MI (where all of his GM are) and getting married in GA (where i'm from and all of my BMs are). we're paying the airfare for the GM and hotel rooms for the entire bridal party.

5) i really can't come up with an idea for a wedding favor and i definitely do not like the bottle of wine idea (considering half of my guests have to fly back to NY on Saturday for my cousin's wedding that Sunday--my wedding's a Friday) so, it's okay to skip it right?

6) do seating charts really go the way as planned? lol. before i try to rack my brain, what are everybody's thoughts on this?

thank you

lyndausvi · January 2013

1) you can have uneven sides

2) I hate head tables anyway. We sat our WP with their SO's with people they would have sat with if they were not in the WP

3) I haven't seen a WP dance in very long time. I don't know any WP's members who even like them. skip it

4) I would still give them something small.

5) skip favors.

6) All the weddings I've attended had seating charts, no issues.

AdeleDazeem · January 2013

1. Nope - they don't need to be even. But, you kicked out a bridesmaid? Eeek. That's going to reflect badly on you no matter what she "did."

2. Perfectly acceptable and great idea.

3. I have literally never seen a spotlight bridal party dance. I would never participate as a bridal party member.

4. Paying for their airfaire and hotel rooms is a gift to YOU. They will be at your wedding as you wish. I think a heartfelt card and a small giftcard somewhere would be very appropriate.

5. Favors aren't necessary.

6. Absolutely. I've never been to a wedding that didn't have a seating chart and it always worked as planned. I think seating charts also relieve some stress for your guests. They can walk in, know where to drop their stuff and go mingle instead of finding everyone they want to sit with, drape coats, guard their group, realize later that people moved, etc. What a hassle.

Jen4948 · January 2013

1) do i actually have to have the same number BMs as my FI has GM? originally we had 6 of each, but i recently had to kick out one of my BMs. we're not going to un-ask one of GM and i don't feel comfortable asking anybody else to be a BM. so i have 5 BMs and he has 6GM. is that weird?

Uh-oh, kicking out a BM is a very drastic step that should only be taken when you're ready not to be friends with them anymore. But to answer your question, even bridal parties are not necessary, uneven ones are not "weird," and even if you felt comfortable asking someone else to be a BM, they would probably feel uncomfortable being a "replacement BM."

2) Do I have to have a head table with my whole bridal party? my FI were talking about it and thought it would be kind of weird since my BMs don't know his GM and vice versa. so we talked about having our bridal party sit with their SO's during the reception. (all my BMs would end up at the same table together and all of his GM would end up at the same table together)

Not if you don't want to, but tell your FI that it's not "weird" for bridal party members who don't know each other to sit at head tables.

3) [kind goes along with number 2] can i skip the spotlight dance with the bridal party? again, they don't know each other.

Yes. This is unnecessary and in fact I'm not even familiar with a "spotlight dance with the bridal party."

4) is it wrong that i don't really think that we have to get our bridal part members gifts? please keep in mind we live in MI (where all of his GM are) and getting married in GA (where i'm from and all of my BMs are). we're paying the airfare for the GM and hotel rooms for the entire bridal party.

Sorry, but paying for their airfare and rooms is just an expense that someone would have had to pay for anyway; I don't think it counts as a "gift" to them. You don't have to give them an expensive gift, but I think you should give them something not wedding-related.

5) i really can't come up with an idea for a wedding favor and i definitely do not like the bottle of wine idea (considering half of my guests have to fly back to NY on Saturday for my cousin's wedding that Sunday--my wedding's a Friday) so, it's okay to skip it right?

Yes. Favors are not necessary.

6) do seating charts really go the way as planned? lol. before i try to rack my brain, what are everybody's thoughts on this? thank you

I'm not sure what you're asking here. I do think that assigned tables show some concern for your guests in making sure that everyone has a place to sit, nobody is prevented from sitting by "saved seats" and nobody is made to feel like a kid in a school cafeteria looking for somewhere to sit. They are useful in situations like making sure people who don't like each other don't have to sit together and putting together people with common interests, group memberships, families, and things like that. Certainly nobody is required to stay in their seat throughout the reception, though-mingling is always acceptable and appropriate.

SmallenForever · January 2013

1. No one cares about uneven sides.

2. They would rather be seated with their SO's. Headtables with out dates are awful.

3.Skip the dance, no one cares.

4. I would get them something small and personal, with a handwritten thank you note. You do not have to spend much, but get them something small.

5.Favors aren't important. Skip them.

6. Use placecards and group people by tables, rather than seats. Should work just fine.

AdeleDazeem · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:b7ee7509-e26d-412b-b935-21a475d00bac">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]Seating charts or assigned seating aren't necessary. As long as you allot for at least 10% extra seats, open seating is fine. Personally, I despise assigned seating. The PPs pretty much have everything else covered.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

And personally, I despise open seating. It's really host preference.

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:b7ee7509-e26d-412b-b935-21a475d00bac">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]Seating charts or assigned seating aren't necessary. As long as you allot for at least 10% extra seats, open seating is fine. Personally, I despise assigned seating. The PPs pretty much have everything else covered.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

And I despise open seating as well. It leaves too many people looking for seats because others "saved" them. It's also a sign of laziness on the part of the hosts. Making sure everyone has a place to sit is a hosting duty.

AddieCake · January 2013

She only kicked out the bridesmaid b/c they ended their friendship (post over on WP).

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:03ecc38a-04b9-47b0-9299-e6d03700a02d">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: a few questions : It's rediculous to dictate to adults where and by whom they have to sit. Open seating, when done correctly, does ensure that everyone has a place to sit.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

No, it's not "ridiculous." What's ridiculous is to leave seating open, assume everyone will do it "correctly," and then have people standing around looking for someplace to sit because people put their bags and things all over the seats to save them and won't let those people sit down, and then only move their stuff after being told to and sulk while doing so. I've seen this scenario far too many times for open seating to work or assigned seating ever to be "ridiculous."

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:ecc7c4b8-4a3d-473b-b65f-903c92245af8">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to a few questions :
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

1) i don't do well with people trying to destroy my marriage before it even happens. i also don't do well with pathelogical liars and people who make up false information and decide to spread it.

2) this is what i was thinking. all of my BMs know each other, who i can put them all at the same table together with their dates.

3) i have seen it at a few weddings, but i think those WP memebers were actually all married to each other?

4) i don't know what else to get. i mean, we're paying airfare/hotel fees, plus my BMs, i'm paying for nails, hair & make up. and the GM, my Gi is paying for haircuts and cufflinks.

5) i did some really cute decorated cookies on Pintrest

6) that sounds like a good idea. thank you.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:dce82477-238e-48d2-8f4e-02fdc7b3df3c">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]1) you can have uneven sides 2) I hate head tables anyway. We sat our WP with their SO's with people they would have sat with if they were not in the WP 3) I haven't seen a WP dance in very long time. I don't know any WP's members who even like them. skip it 4) I would still give them something small. 5) skip favors. 6) All the weddings I've attended had seating charts, no issues.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

1) good.
2) i was thinking this. we kinds would like to be alone together at our table. sweetheart table?
3) i went to a wedding in September and November and saw this at both weddings. that's why i questioned it.
4) any idea what? already paying airfare, hotel stay, hair/make-up/nails for BMS and haircuts & cufflinks for GM.
5) was thinking this
6) this could go either way honestly.

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:13737c29-f574-4aa8-8dc1-59b1d9f5f1f7">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: a few questions : 4) i don't know what else to get. i mean, we're paying airfare/hotel fees, plus my BMs, i'm paying for nails, hair & make up. and the GM, my Gi is paying for haircuts and cufflinks.
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4[/QUOTE]

Ditch the idea that the gift needs to be a wedding-related gift. Not only is that not the case, but these things that you're paying for aren't "gifts" to them.

What do these people, whom you supposedly feel close enough to to ask them to be in your wedding party, like? You could get them gift cards for stores or restaurants they would go to or other gifts they would appreciate. And they don't all have to be the same thing, as long as they are close in value.

AddieCake · January 2013

Every wedding I have ever been to had open seating, and I hated it. Not enough seats at the same table for whole parties, people milling around, plus what Jen described. It is like a middle school cafeteria the first week of school. We did a seating chart (tables only, not individual seats),and it was so nice and smooth. It was definitely worth taking the time to do.

MrsGandthebeag · January 2013

I agree with the pp's except on the gifts. I think you're already giving them a huge gift by paying for airfare and hotel. That is not required at all. That's much more money than you'd be spending on regular gifts if you weren't paying hotel/air fare.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:5f27a369-67bf-4c8f-af59-ead72fa462f7">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]
1. Nope - they don't need to be even. But, you kicked out a bridesmaid? Eeek. That's going to reflect badly on you no matter what she "did."
<strong>i don't do well with people trying to mess up my marriage before it even happens. i also don't do well with people who are supposed to be my "best friend" in my face and then trash my name behind my back when i'm in MI and she's in GA and i can't even defend myself.
</strong>2. Perfectly acceptable and great idea.
3. I have literally never seen a spotlight bridal party dance. I would never participate as a bridal party member.
<strong>i saw this at two weddings recently. i thought it was a little awkward honestly.
</strong>4. Paying for their airfaire and hotel rooms is a gift to YOU. They will be at your wedding as you wish. I think a heartfelt card and a small giftcard somewhere would be very appropriate.
<strong>possible. just not sure what to do, already paying for a lot honestly.
</strong>5. Favors aren't necessary.
6. Absolutely. I've never been to a wedding that didn't have a seating chart and it always worked as planned. I think seating charts also relieve some stress for your guests. They can walk in, know where to drop their stuff and go mingle instead of finding everyone they want to sit with, drape coats, guard their group, realize later that people moved, etc. What a hassle.
<strong>so true. thank you.
</strong>
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:4c8f5029-ffb6-4d7b-b787-ec60814a7bd1">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with the pp's except on the gifts. I think you're already giving them a huge gift by paying for airfare and hotel. That is not required at all. That's much more money than you'd be spending on regular gifts if you weren't paying hotel/air fare.
Posted by MrsGandthebeag[/QUOTE]

Airfare and hotel fees are not "gifts."

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:2ea9fcbf-9037-44b6-a32d-1499a20f3646">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]1) do i actually have to have the same number BMs as my FI has GM? originally we had 6 of each, but i recently had to kick out one of my BMs. we're not going to un-ask one of GM and i don't feel comfortable asking anybody else to be a BM. so i have 5 BMs and he has 6GM. is that weird?
<strong>Uh-oh, kicking out a BM is a very drastic step that should only be taken when you're ready not to be friends with them anymore. But to answer your question, even bridal parties are not necessary, uneven ones are not "weird," and even if you felt comfortable asking someone else to be a BM, they would probably feel uncomfortable being a "replacement BM."
</strong> <em>her and i will never be friends again. probably should have never been in the first place. i don't take too kindly to somebody trying to mess up my marriage before i even get married.</em>

2) Do I have to have a head table with my whole bridal party? my FI were talking about it and thought it would be kind of weird since my BMs don't know his GM and vice versa. so we talked about having our bridal party sit with their SO's during the reception. (all my BMs would end up at the same table together and all of his GM would end up at the same table together)
<strong>Not if you don't want to, but tell your FI that it's not "weird" for bridal party members who don't know each other to sit at head tables.</strong>
<em>but i don't want to split them up from their SOs.
</em>
3) [kind goes along with number 2] can i skip the spotlight dance with the bridal party? again, they don't know each other.
<strong>Yes. This is unnecessary and in fact I'm not even familiar with a "spotlight dance with the bridal party."
</strong><em>i saw this at two weddings recently and that's why i was questioning it.

</em>4) is it wrong that i don't really think that we have to get our bridal part members gifts? please keep in mind we live in MI (where all of his GM are) and getting married in GA (where i'm from and all of my BMs are). we're paying the airfare for the GM and hotel rooms for the entire bridal party.
<strong>Sorry, but paying for their airfare and rooms is just an expense that someone would have had to pay for anyway; I don't think it counts as a "gift" to them. You don't have to give them an expensive gift, but I think you should give them something not wedding-related.
</strong><em>any ideas?

</em>5) i really can't come up with an idea for a wedding favor and i definitely do not like the bottle of wine idea (considering half of my guests have to fly back to NY on Saturday for my cousin's wedding that Sunday--my wedding's a Friday) so, it's okay to skip it right?
<strong> Yes. Favors are not necessary.
</strong>
6) do seating charts really go the way as planned? lol. before i try to rack my brain, what are everybody's thoughts on this? thank you :)
<strong>I'm not sure what you're asking here. I do think that assigned tables show some concern for your guests in making sure that everyone has a place to sit, nobody is prevented from sitting by "saved seats" and nobody is made to feel like a kid in a school cafeteria looking for somewhere to sit. They are useful in situations like making sure people who don't like each other don't have to sit together and putting together people with common interests, group memberships, families, and things like that. Certainly nobody is required to stay in their seat throughout the reception, though-mingling is always acceptable and appropriate.
</strong><em>my step-sister got married last year. she spent what felt like eternity try to get this seating chart together and nobody sat where they were supposed to.. not even in the beginning.
</em>Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:b7ee7509-e26d-412b-b935-21a475d00bac">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]Seating charts or assigned seating aren't necessary. As long as you allot for at least 10% extra seats, open seating is fine. Personally, I despise assigned seating. The PPs pretty much have everything else covered.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

open seating concerns me due to a few of those family members we HAVE to invite.. ugh!

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:fee061b2-cd1a-481f-89b3-19d2bf6dd83f">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: a few questions : And personally, I despise open seating. It's really host preference.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

i have mixed feelings about it.. would be okay if i were to the place cards and put certain people at the table and then they can kind of pick where at the table they's like to sit?

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:687e1e21-507f-4a44-87ab-4acaa6101097">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: a few questions : And I despise open seating as well. It leaves <strong>too many people looking for seats because others "saved" them</strong>. It's also a sign of laziness on the part of the hosts. Making sure everyone has a place to sit is a hosting duty.
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

exactly. this is not lunch time in high school. this is my wedding.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:0bb606f6-1875-4cb5-b923-0f718dcdb40f">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]She only kicked out the bridesmaid b/c they ended their friendship (post over on WP).
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

yes i did end the friendship.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:03ecc38a-04b9-47b0-9299-e6d03700a02d">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: a few questions : It's rediculous to dictate to adults where and by whom they have to sit. Open seating, when done correctly, does ensure that everyone has a place to sit.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

but you have to assume that everybody is going to act like an adult and do it correctly.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:11c0377d-8852-42e3-827b-23acc5c000fd">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: a few questions : No, it's not "ridiculous." <strong>What's ridiculous is to leave seating open, assume everyone will do it "correctly,</strong>" and then have <strong>people standing around looking for someplace to sit</strong> because people put their bags and things all over the seats to save them and won't let those people sit down, and then only move their stuff after being told to and sulk while doing so. I've seen this scenario far too many times for open seating to work or assigned seating ever to be "ridiculous."
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

first bold: yes. i totally agree
second bold: this is what i don't want happening.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:6fa7b6b0-585a-4885-b9b4-bfd5c2219eae">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]Every wedding I have ever been to had open seating, and <strong>I hated it</strong>. Not <strong>enough seats at the same table for whole parties</strong>, people milling around, plus what Jen described. <strong>It is like a middle school cafeteria the first week of school</strong>. We did a <strong>seating chart (tables only</strong>, not individual seats),and it was so nice and smooth. It was definitely worth taking the time to do.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

first: me too
second: that happened at my step-sister's wedding.. disaster
third: God, this is what I don't want happening.
fourth: i think this is good. that way people can still kind of pick their own seats

libby2483 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:49c75d60-5f53-47a3-9306-a8b550bf5f42">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: a few questions : i have mixed feelings about it.. would be okay if i were to the place cards and put certain people at the table and then they can kind of pick where at the table they's like to sit?
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4[/QUOTE]

<div>This is usually how open seating is done. I've been at several weddings where guests were assigned a table, but not a specific seat and it has always worked well. I have also been to weddings where there was open seating, but there wasn't enough extra seats, so couples and families had to split up. Assigned tables are my preference, but if you do decide to do open seating, make sure you have far more seats than you have guests so people don't get split up.</div>

SmallenForever · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:49c75d60-5f53-47a3-9306-a8b550bf5f42">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: a few questions : i have mixed feelings about it.. would be okay if i were to the place cards and put certain people at the table and then they can kind of pick where at the table they's like to sit?
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, you assign a table, not a seat and they arrange themselves at the table. It is way easier this way.</div><div>
</div><div>and for gifts, what would you buy them if it were their birthday? Buy that. Even little gift cards are okay, just something not wedding related to show you appreciate them.</div>

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:4c8f5029-ffb6-4d7b-b787-ec60814a7bd1">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with the pp's except on the gifts. I think you're already giving them a huge gift by paying for airfare and hotel. That is not required at all. That's much more money than you'd be spending on regular gifts if you weren't paying hotel/air fare.
Posted by MrsGandthebeag[/QUOTE]

thank you. i also forgot to mention besides airfare & hotel fees, i'm paying for my BMs hair, make-up & nails. my FI is paying for his GMs haircuts and cufflinks. this is money that isn't in my wedding budget, this is money i'm pulling out of my pocket.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:caf39735-3cd7-4f45-8e7c-65796c3bf214">Re:a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:a few questions: 1. Uneven sides are fine.
<strong>so i guess my next question is how do have the extra GM in the mix without making it look so awkward? he won't have a BM to walk down the isle with.
</strong>2. Your plan sounds good here and as a BM, I'd prefer this.
3. Please please please skip the WP dance. They are boring for the guests and awkward for the WP. Don't do it.
4. Yes, you still need to get your WP thank you gifts. They don't have to be expensive, but a token of appreciation for the time they took to be in your wedding is really just good manners. We paid for our WP's attire, gave them the option of staying with us to avoid a hotel, and contributed to travel expenses. Our thank you gifts were a DVD for each person of either a movie we knew they loved and didn't own or one we honestly thought they would really enjoy. We paired that with a heartfelt card expressing our gratitude and they all raved about how awesome it was to get a gift for THEM rather than generic wedding crap. We spent between 8 and 15 total for each gift.
5. Skipping favors is fine.
6. Are seating charts standard at weddings among your family and friends? We didn't do one, but we only ever see them for super formal plated dinner type receptions in my circle. If they are common among your people, do one. If not, you can likely skip it. But do keep in mind that if you don't have a seating chart, you need to have at LEAST 10 percent more seats than guests to keep people from being split up. So, if you have 100 guests, you need at least 10 extra seats.
<strong>i want my guests to be some what guided where to sit due to certain family members. my FI's uncle tries to come on to ANY female he comes in contact with who isn't family. i'd like to avoid that drama. i'd also like to avoid the MIL & FIL's wife drama because my FIL is apparently still in love with my MIL. lol.
</strong>
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

AdeleDazeem · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:49c75d60-5f53-47a3-9306-a8b550bf5f42">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: a few questions : i have mixed feelings about it.. would be okay if i were to the place cards and put certain people at the table and then they can kind of pick where at the table they's like to sit?
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4[/QUOTE]

Of course!

And for gifts - definitely do a card with a nice note of thanks inside. Then, you can pair it with a $15 giftcard to somewhere they like. Barnes and Noble, CVS, Applebees, whatever. Just something you know they'd enjoy.

Jen4948 · January 2013

1. One of your BMs can walk with two GMs.

2. Seat them with their SOs at the head table.

6. This is where a seating chart comes in handy. Put your FFIL and his wife at a separate table from your FMIL, and put the uncle at a table consisting only of family members.

Simply Fated · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-few-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9d65d0e-d1cf-4235-909b-5766dfa142e7Post:edb1d1d8-ad3f-429e-8eaf-88242f3401dd">Re: a few questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: a few questions : This is usually how open seating is done. I've been at several weddings where guests were assigned a table, but not a specific seat and it has always worked well. I have also been to weddings where there was open seating, but there wasn't enough extra seats, so couples and families had to split up. Assigned tables are my preference, but if you do decide to do open seating, make sure you have far more seats than you have guests so people don't get split up.
Posted by libby2483[/QUOTE]
Open seating is when seats and and tables aren't assigned.<div>
</div><div>Assigned seats are when specific seats are assigned. What the OP wants and what usually works best is assigned tables. </div>

a few questions

Re: a few questions

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