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Child getting adult meal for this reason?

andra loves andreandra loves andre
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We're having around 200 adults at our wedding, and around 20 kids aged 9-11. Our adult meals are $145 each, and the venue is offering children's meals for $25 each. Thanks to some negotiating with the venue, there is no difference regarding the appetizers, soups, and desserts between the adult meal and the children's meal. The only difference is the main course: the adults get filet mignon with 2 lamb chops for their main course, while the children get roasted chicken with sweet potato fries. 

The main issue is the latest argument I've had with my mother. One of her friends has a child (10 years old) who eats a lot. My mom feels that he should get an adult meal since it has more meat.

I feel like it isn't nice to single out only one child, and if he gets an adult meal, so should the rest. Unfortuately, that would be another $2000 DIFFERENCE in price... or $2900 instead of $500. That was not in our budget at all, and we've been fighting over it all day.

What do you ladie think we should do?
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Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?

  • littleluckypennylittleluckypenny member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments
    Unless this child is allergic to something, they get the same meal as the rest of the children. All the other food (apps, dessert, salad, drinks, etc) should fill this kid up.
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  • afeliz79afeliz79 member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    I say the kid gets a kid meal. His parents can share with him if he is still hungry.
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  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Kid's meal. There should be plenty of food, even for a child who eats a lot. Your mom's being silly.
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    Let him eat the child meal.  There is also appetizers, soup, and dessert that he will get to eat.

    On a side note, spending that much on food is crazy!  That better be darn good!
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  • andra loves andreandra loves andre
    100 Comments
    Thank you ladies, I figured it should be enough food. Obviously I don't want my guests going hungry (adults or kids), but I feel like the kids have more food than they could eat anyways!

    We're hoping it will be really good! We chose this venue because of all the awesome reviews they got, and we got to customize our menu. Can't wait for the tasting. Perhaps I should have also mentioned that in that price is a 7 course meal (2 appetizers, soup, grilled salad, 2 entrees and dessert) as well as a premium 7-hour open bar (and all the taxes/gratuities). Lots of food, and as I said, the only difference as far as the kids go is that ONE of their entrees is different... and for a fifth of the price! I think we got a pretty good deal... or at least I hope! :)
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  • andra loves andreandra loves andre
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:f31b3416-6f6c-4e04-a822-ed0220b6bd31">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]On a side note, spending that much on food is crazy!  That better be darn good!
    Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>ooops... just figured out how to use this QUOTE feature... replied to you only using an @Grits8812 before, sorry!</div>
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    That is a lot of food, but may I ask where the heck you live that things are that expensive?
    Report Reply
  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:ed56b5a9-891d-4d85-a854-a84868f79c6c">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : ooops... just figured out how to use this QUOTE feature... replied to you only using an @Grits8812 before, sorry!
    Posted by andra loves andre[/QUOTE]
    That's alright.  We all had to figure it out at one point or another.
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  • BritozBritoz
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:f31b3416-6f6c-4e04-a822-ed0220b6bd31">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Let him eat the child meal.  There is also appetizers, soup, and dessert that he will get to eat. On a side note, spending that much on food is crazy!  That better be darn good!
    Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]

    This is exactly what I was thinking... Of course, I don't really know what is "acceptable" wedding prices. Our entire food (not drinks or cake) is about $300. We're self catering with big help from Costco though.

    On a related note, definitely don't single out one kid. That will get him made fun of as "the fat kid." You DON'T want that. Kids are cruel. I'm sure he'll have plenty to eat. If he doesn't, I'm sure there will be plenty of other food and he won't starve. =D

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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    To be fair, as a kid I would MUCH rather that adult meal, but that's besides the point. If the children's meal was what was put in front of me, I'd eat it. My mom would share some of hers with me, anyway.

    Eating more isn't a good enough excuse to get an adult meal, if the food being served had a sufficiant portion. Would the venue would throw on some more fries or an extra chicken wing or what ever if the parent seriously complained that her kid was still starving?
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  • andra loves andreandra loves andre
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:c98abfb6-2fdb-40be-bd44-4f4d9b5af438">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]That is a lot of food, but may I ask where the heck you live that things are that expensive?
    Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]

    <div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">We live in Toronto. Not the most expensive city, but not the cheapest either. And we had the "bad luck" of falling in love with one of the top venues: Atlantis Pavillions.</div></div>
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:7c942736-36ea-4c4f-af5f-0790bd597d88">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : This is exactly what I was thinking... <strong>Of course, I don't really know what is "acceptable" wedding prices</strong>. Our entire food (not drinks or cake) is about $300. We're self catering with big help from Costco though. On a related note, definitely don't single out one kid. That will get him made fun of as "the fat kid." You DON'T want that. Kids are cruel. I'm sure he'll have plenty to eat. If he doesn't, I'm sure there will be plenty of other food and he won't starve. =D
    Posted by Britoz[/QUOTE]
    We are paying $10 a plate, for excellent food, and there will be enough to have left overs for weeks!<div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:6ea35e8f-1f09-4aad-8b10-5de56543efce">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : We live in Toronto. Not the most expensive city, but not the cheapest either. <strong>And we had the "bad luck" of falling in love with one of the top venues: Atlantis Pavillions.</strong>
    Posted by andra loves andre[/QUOTE]
    I'd say that's bad luck.  No offense to you at all, but I would be in shock if I was told food cost that much.  
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  • andra loves andreandra loves andre
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:5374b559-1290-4cec-ad0f-2e9ce4d2fca1">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]To be fair, as a kid I would MUCH rather that adult meal, but that's besides the point. If the children's meal was what was put in front of me, I'd eat it. My mom would share some of hers with me, anyway. Eating more isn't a good enough excuse to get an adult meal, if the food being served had a sufficiant portion. Would the venue would throw on some more fries or an extra chicken wing or what ever if the parent seriously complained that her kid was still starving?
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

    <div>I fully understand what you're saying, as a child I may have liked the "grown up menu", too. Hopefully they'll be too busy running around and having a blast to notice the difference of one course out of all 7 (6 courses are the same for both menus, it's just one of the main courses that's different). And if the child is still hungry or really wants a filet, I can ask the staff for some I think. We were told that they always make extra (in case something gets dropped on the floor, etc), and that the wedding party would often take the extras home since they were cooked and stored anyways!</div>
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  • andra loves andreandra loves andre
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:7c942736-36ea-4c4f-af5f-0790bd597d88">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : This is exactly what I was thinking... Of course, I don't really know what is "acceptable" wedding prices. Our entire food (not drinks or cake) is about $300. We're self catering with big help from Costco though. On a related note, definitely don't single out one kid. That will get him made fun of as "the fat kid." You DON'T want that. Kids are cruel. I'm sure he'll have plenty to eat. If he doesn't, I'm sure there will be plenty of other food and he won't starve. =D
    Posted by Britoz[/QUOTE]

    <div>I was thinking the same things about only giving him an adult meal. Especially since there will be 2 more kids of the same age at the same table. I feel like it's an all-or-nothing: all the kids get it or none. And honestly, another $2000 for this reason is not in our budget at this point, unfortunately :(</div>
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:50e4829f-6c1b-44af-be40-595d5df87a38">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : I fully understand what you're saying, as a child I may have liked the "grown up menu", too. Hopefully they'll be too busy running around and having a blast to notice the difference of one course out of all 7 (6 courses are the same for both menus, it's just one of the main courses that's different). <strong>And if the child is still hungry or really wants a filet, I can ask the staff for some I think.</strong> We were told that they always make extra (in case something gets dropped on the floor, etc), and that the wedding party would often take the extras home since they were cooked and stored anyways!
    Posted by andra loves andre[/QUOTE]
    I think that sounds perfectly reasonable.
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  • andra loves andreandra loves andre
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:29b00046-5acc-42b5-8b2b-267cc838738a">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : We are paying $10 a plate, for excellent food, and there will be enough to have left overs for weeks!
    Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]

    <div>Now that's a good deal! May I now ask where YOU live? :) </div><div>
    </div><div>...please don't say Toronto or I'll be insanely jealous of you!</div>
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  • andra loves andreandra loves andre
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:33068f88-3566-4dc5-87aa-202a185546f5">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : I'd say that's bad luck.  No offense to you at all, but I would be in shock if I was told food cost that much.  
    Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]

    <div>Definitely bad luck... and it doesn't help that my future in-laws have expensive tastes (but to be fair they are pitching in... so that's good luck... and it guess in the end it balances out?) :)</div>
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:21a65189-b086-433d-b92a-4dae9eea4440">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : Now that's a good deal! May I now ask where YOU live? :)  ...please don't say Toronto or I'll be insanely jealous of you!
    Posted by andra loves andre[/QUOTE]
    I live about 30 minutes from St. Louis, depending on how fast you drive. :)
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  • andra loves andreandra loves andre
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:94ab0c57-418b-4616-b00b-e01369e0093b">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : I think that sounds perfectly reasonable.
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

    <div>I only hope it will sound perfectly reasonable to my mom as well :)</div>
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:ecb8a444-257f-4a47-8d8e-9abc7a9327a7">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : Definitely bad luck... and it doesn't help that my future in-laws have expensive tastes (but to be fair they are pitching in... so that's good luck... and it guess in the end it balances out?) :)
    Posted by andra loves andre[/QUOTE]
    To be fair if they are helping out, of course they get some say in what is served.  
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  • andra loves andreandra loves andre
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:d086da8b-b109-4062-9c24-832bca11d6eb">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : I live about 30 minutes from St. Louis, depending on how fast you drive. :)
    Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm guessing you mean St. Louis, Missouri? I'm Canadian... don't know my US geography too well.</div><h1 id="firstHeading" style="color:#000000;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:#ffffff;font-weight:normal;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0.1em;margin-left:0px;overflow-x:hidden;overflow-y:hidden;padding-top:0px;padding-bottom:0px;border-bottom-width:1px;border-bottom-style:solid;border-bottom-color:#aaaaaa;width:auto;font-size:1.6em;line-height:1.2em;font-family:sans-serif;text-align:-webkit-auto;" class="firstHeading">
    </h1>
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  • andra loves andreandra loves andre
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:23dc27ed-10ee-4bb6-97f6-97cf8e00bb6f">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : To be fair if they are helping out, of course they get some say in what is served.  
    Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]

    <div>Agreed, but they all already chipped in the amount they wanted to help with, and this is an added expense that they would no longer be covering. </div><div>
    </div><div>My mom doesn't see the problem of making an exception just for that one kid, so she keeps thinking "it's only $100 more".</div>
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:13a70ebc-2cb9-4f0c-b80b-b8900ae7f7b4">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : I'm guessing you mean St. Louis, Missouri? I'm Canadian... don't know my US geography too well.
    Posted by andra loves andre[/QUOTE]
    Yes, Missouri.  The place of ignorance, bad driving, and a half an oval sticking out of the ground.  I hate the place.
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:6d19cf77-828f-4df5-8534-eea13defc485">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : Agreed, but they all already chipped in the amount they wanted to help with, and this is an added expense that they would no longer be covering.  My mom doesn't see the problem of making an exception just for that one kid, so she keeps thinking "it's only $100 more".
    Posted by andra loves andre[/QUOTE]
    She may just see it as only 100 more, but that would be like giving one kid in a class 2 pieces of candy instead of one.  They are going to want to know why he gets it, and why they didn't.  
    Report Reply
  • andra loves andreandra loves andre
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:6b76098f-62cb-40e3-a37e-db66014cfdc8">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason? : She may just see it as only 100 more, but that would be like giving one kid in a class 2 pieces of candy instead of one.  They are going to want to know why he gets it, and why they didn't.  
    Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]

    <div>Don't worry, I'm pretty sure we have everything but the half an oval here, too :)</div><div>
    </div><div>I agree, it would be exactly like that. And I fear that not only would the kids want to know why, but the parents of the other kids as well. I'm thinking it's a dramatic disaster waiting to happen, and people's feathers are likely to get pretty ruffled.</div>
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    Parent's would probably get upset about it.  They would be like "well, he got the expensive plate, but my kid didn't?  Guess we aren't good enough".  People can have bad attitudes.
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  • andra loves andreandra loves andre
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_child-getting-adult-meal-this-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3e640be-9112-4c27-a6eb-8f7b020afd74Post:6e121e2a-9e8f-4450-8714-3ab273b967b6">Re: Child getting adult meal for this reason?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Parent's would probably get upset about it.  They would be like "well, he got the expensive plate, but my kid didn't?  Guess we aren't good enough".  People can have bad attitudes.
    Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]

    <div>agreed! </div><div>
    </div><div>Thanks for all the support and the chit-chat, it's nice to see that happens on here, too. I used to be on theknot app on my ipod touch, then switched to IG when that got too much drama. Didn't know what to expect from this forum, though.</div>
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  • jennipea382jennipea382 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Holy wow that's expensive, sorry haha. An average plate at our venue is like $27/pp. Not including drinks of course but still. My venue is in Minneapolis, MN.

    On topic - I agree with kid's meal. As PPs have said, there should be plenty of food for him to fill up on. If he really needs to eat that much maybe the parents could bring an extra snack? Stupid, but if he really eats THAT much maybe they need to.
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    We aren't too bad here.  It's the ignorant questions that we all get crabby over. 
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