AYG

cheeseandrice · May 2012

Oh. Maybe I haven't noticed other stuff about her MIL, so it seemed far-reached for me.

Nates, I don't think it's ridiculous at all. Why WOULDN'T you ask? My dad offered us a week in the Dominican for our honeymoon. I asked him if he was expecting us to go as part of a family trip or if we could pick a week by ourself. I don't think I ever would've considered not asking that.

LetsHikeToday · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:da2cd29f-3bfd-4b25-a29e-5c30fe1b5471">Re:AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]Fuckballs, I've only got a minutes to pop in. I accept that flame; that's the risk you take when you vent on here. I do think.it's stupid as shiit to say that it's something that should have been discussed when we accepted the money. Come on. Who in their right mind would assume that anyone would call it a honeymoon and then expect to.got on other. That's just a reach.
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]
I wouldn't have thought to discuss them NOT coming either. I do get feeling frustrated that you're "the bad person." My H never really feels like he can be honest with his parents. He's scared to hurt their feelings. I'm the one who stands up for us and also the one who is honest about stuf they probably don't like to hear. I've just accepted the fact that I'm probably going to be the asshole in their eyes.

acaponi87 · May 2012

In Response to Re:AYG:[QUOTE]I don't know if this was brought up before because I don't remember if it was last week or the week before but I flame Caponi for saying in a thread she was hardcore judging some knot posters but then wouldn't say who when asked. She PMed 3 people to tell them and
wouldn't PM others. She just kept
saying they weren't E regs. That's
lame. If you don't want to talk about it,
don't bring it up.nbsp; Posted by
LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

Yeah I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't want post to the world bc it had to do with some pretty personal stuff and she hadn't posted it on TK..just our FB group which is private. I get why it's annoying, I just had to 'say' it outloud and didn't think it was okay to put it out there to TK world when she hadn't.

chelseamb11 · May 2012

Idk I get the impression that this isn't the first time Nates MIL has done something messed up though. I think it's entirely possible that Nates literally said/did nothing bad during that skype session and her MIL just made crap up. She sounds very manipulative.
My FMIL makes mountains out of molehills alllll the time. Last weekend even, we realized someone she wanted to add to the list hadn't been added and she started freaking out and saying "ugh no wonder Jane has been so weird with me at work" and "no wonder I wasn't invited to their son's wedding last month". I highly doubt the lack of an invitation to a wedding that is still 6 weeks away did that (plus our invitations would have gone out way after that lady's son's)

ahhhitsshannyn · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:db8d40d9-6864-463c-9fb6-1b6066ee432a">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : Given that Nates MIL and mine seem to be the same person, I'd venture a guess that it was intended to be manipulative and maybe malicious by the ILs. 'Member when all that Disney bullshit went down with H and I, and my ILs? Yeah, it was a similar situation (compounded by the fact they showed up at the airport when we got back to greet us, WTF). I will never, ever accept another high monetary value gift from them again. Until they are dead, then I will gladly take whatever they've left us.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

I agree. I guess maybe Steph doesn't have a bad MIL? But yeah my MIL has manipulated H so many times that I wouldn't put anything past her. I just don't get WHY they would choose to go to Hawaii the same exact time if they had no ulterior motives for it.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · May 2012

Aaaand I know you're not supposed to apologize in AYG but dammit, Bay. Lol. FTR, I understand that it's way easier for me to hate your H than it is for you to hate him, obviously. Don't stop talking about the guy on my account, if it helps you to do so with friends on here. I can just skim over the H posts.

cheeseandrice · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:7c3fb4b1-4db0-4856-a265-f4508bf97750">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I agree. I guess maybe Steph doesn't have a bad MIL? But yeah my MIL has manipulated H so many times that I wouldn't put anything past her. I just don't get WHY they would choose to go to Hawaii the same exact time if they had no ulterior motives for it.
Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]

I mean, if you really want to go there... my MIL is actually a crackwhore (like. for real.) who only pops into our lives when she wants to 'borrow' money. ;)

Like I said, I didn't realize that Nates' MIL was evil before this. So it seemed like an overreaction.

ETA: wink to add that I was joking about my MIL. I mean, yes, she is. But I don't really care, so I didn't mean for that to be an actual 'competition.'

AllAboutTheBenjamin · May 2012

I swear to shiit if TK craps out during AYG I will gnaw my own teeth out of my gums.

Starmusica · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:07f64a13-1b95-4901-b6d5-09a1fb272b64">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]I know that defending yourself in an AYG is lame and I really don't want to come across as defensive. Jill and Ash hit the nail on the head. I'm not meaning to bring up H because of therapeutic reasons -- although it is really difficult to talk about him when my mother has told me that she has no interest in me bringing up the subject, and when the majority of our friends are mutual friends so it's just awkward to bring it up to any of them. I have a therapist of my own as well as a marriage counselor so if I need to talk about it for therapeutic reasons I definitely already have a sounding board. He's been a part of my life for years. Justified or not, I still love him very much. I realize that this makes me look like an idiot or a doormat but it's not something I could help. Trust me, if I could turn that off and just not giveashit about him or my ILs or anything that we've had in the last few years, I'd do it in a heartbeat. It would save me a lot of grief and heartache right now. As for the being too nice to him thing...I'm sorry, I guess? I don't really know how else to be. I mean, behind closed doors I have yelled at him, I've called him names, I've gone out of my way to not make his life any easier than it has to be, and you know, none of that makes any of this any easier. If anything, it creates more tension and makes living together even more difficult. We were in a tough situation of having to live together until I found a new apartment, and that lease doesn't start until June 1. I could move in with my family, but I've discussed why that would have been a horrible decision, and truthfully, I'd rather live with H and have him never home due to his insane work schedule, than live with my mom and sister constantly. I guess my being nice to him is judgworthy, but being a jerk when we had to cohabitate for the last six weeks wasn't making things easier, it was making them even worse. But I did realize going into all of this that people weren't going to want to hear about H in either a positive or a negative light, and I figured eventually my posting about it would get under people's skin. I really am not hurt by the comments and I will definitely try to mention him less in threads. I apologize for being a broken record.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

bay I missed a ton these last few months... I am so sorry this happened to you.

Smash Adams · May 2012

Bay, you know this, but I lived with XH for like 2 months after the decision was made to split-- I don't think being civil is judgeworthy. And I don't think you look like an idiot or a doormat-- you're doing what you have to do in the situation, if you were an idiot or a doormat you wouldn't have found yourself somewhere to live as of June 1.

You already know that I think all this. I don't think the way you're acting is judgeworthy at all.

baystateapple · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:2187deb4-2fa4-4eb1-954e-99e90fafd7bf">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]Aaaand I know you're not supposed to apologize in AYG but dammit, Bay. Lol. FTR, I understand that it's way easier for me to hate your H than it is for you to hate him, obviously. Don't stop talking about the guy on my account, if it helps you to do so with friends on here. I can just skim over the H posts.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
Nope. Friends (online friends) are honest with each other even if the truth hurts. I needed to hear that. And you're right. I need to stop talking about him or thinking about him all the time and focus on myself, what makes me happy, being an individual blah blah blah all that therapy stuff. You were right.

midgetthemighty · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:b5a0e11f-1d42-4be4-88a3-bac699dc0624">Re:AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AYG: Yeah I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't want post to the world bc it had to do with some pretty personal stuff and she hadn't posted it on TK..just our FB group which is private. I get why it's annoying, I just had to 'say' it outloud and didn't think it was okay to put it out there to TK world when she hadn't.
Posted by acaponi87[/QUOTE]

Now I want to know who you're talking about.

baystateapple · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:b5a0e11f-1d42-4be4-88a3-bac699dc0624">Re:AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AYG: Yeah I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't want post to the world bc it had to do with some pretty personal stuff and she hadn't posted it on TK..just our FB group which is private. I get why it's annoying, I just had to 'say' it outloud and didn't think it was okay to put it out there to TK world when she hadn't.
Posted by acaponi87[/QUOTE]
Just say "no" to vagueknotting.

Stackeye210 · May 2012

To me it seems like you being nice to your H bay is a result of him still manipulating you into feeling bad about a situation that he created. It gets frustrating b/c I want to protect you and tell you that he's getting to you and he's making you feel guilt and sensitive feelings towards him as a part of his game and that's not ok.

I want you to get mad, I want you to get mean - but I realize that isn't your style, that's my style. It's just hard to sit back and watch a friend struggle when you know they don't deserve it.

I do realize that you are doing the best you can to maintain and I'll always be proud of you for that, I just want him to get his paws off of you so that you can heal.

cheeseandrice · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:d4a45ea2-ad27-47fd-ad3a-6f7b9e6ba616">Re:AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AYG : Just say "no" to vagueknotting.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

Yeah. This. I flame Alcapone for continuing the thing that got her flamed in the first place.

ahhhitsshannyn · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:107a6cf5-a075-4aa7-a9f5-366071c40eff">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I mean, if you really want to go there... my MIL is actually a crackwhore (like. for real.) who only pops into our lives when she wants to 'borrow' money. ;) Like I said, I didn't realize that Nates' MIL was evil before this. So it seemed like an overreaction. ETA: wink to add that I was joking about my MIL. I mean, yes, she is. But I don't really care, so I didn't mean for that to be an actual 'competition.'
Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]

No I wasn't trying to make it a competition either! I think I probably just see the worst in people so if someone said "My MIL is going on our honeymoon with us!" I would automatically think CRACKWEHORE and that they were being malicious.

chelseamb11 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:8ea4822f-fac8-4c04-976a-9700b4a9de1c">Re:AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AYG : Now I want to know who you're talking about.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

Me too.

cheeseandrice · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:1043015d-9108-4438-a6dc-4a5fff82fa87">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : No I wasn't trying to make it a competition either! I think I probably just see the worst in people so if someone said "My MIL is going on our honeymoon with us!" I would automatically think CRACKWEHORE and that they were being malicious.
Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]

That makes sense. I guess I never had to worry about that, because MIL will never be able to afford her own rent, much less come on vacation with us.

yup. I went there.

midgetthemighty · May 2012

Plus also, acaponi, you're breaking the rule.

Off to lunch.

LP11509 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:b5a0e11f-1d42-4be4-88a3-bac699dc0624">Re:AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AYG: Yeah I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't want post to the world bc it had to do with some pretty personal stuff and she hadn't posted it on TK..just our FB group which is private. I get why it's annoying, I just had to 'say' it outloud and didn't think it was okay to put it out there to TK world when she hadn't.
Posted by acaponi87[/QUOTE]

<div>You probably should have kept it private, then. I mean I get that she ran the risk of people blabbing when she put it up on the internet, even in a "private" FB group. But I think it's pretty shiity to turn around and tell other people not in that group personal stuff that someone posted, even through PM instead of on the board. </div>

maratea · May 2012

OH YEAH? Well my MIL is a flight attendant. Who started the job at 56 years old. I'm pretty sure she did it just to get away from SFIL...

[Deleted User] · May 2012

Bay, I agree with the others that we just get fired up on your account. It's easy for us to get mad and hate him, so we do it for you. So when you say nicer stuff about him, we (or I do, at least) just hate him more. Because we're 100% on your side.

caponi, I hope the person on your private FB group doesn't see this and realize you're talking about her on TK.

baystateapple · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:656ef1d7-8ec4-411d-990f-a2bb4623632e">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]To me it seems like you being nice to your H bay is a result of him still manipulating you into feeling bad about a situation that he created. It gets frustrating b/c I want to protect you and tell you that he's getting to you and he's making you feel guilt and sensitive feelings towards him as a part of his game and that's not ok. I want you to get mad, I want you to get mean - but I realize that isn't your style, that's my style. It's just hard to sit back and watch a friend struggle when you know they don't deserve it. I do realize that you are doing the best you can to maintain and I'll always be proud of you for that, I just want him to get his paws off of you so that you can heal.
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]
That may be the case. I don't know. I'm just not an angry person. I've been in bad situations with exes and it's sucked and my general modus operandi is to carry on being me until I reach whatever breaking poing eventually comes, and then just shut down. No anger, no rage, no vindictiveness, just "I care absolutely nothing for you, I don't hate you, I just have no interest in keeping you in my life so you're pretty much dead to me." I don't know if that's a healthy response, but that's how I've always been. I really dread the day if and when my relationship with H comes down to that. I don't know if it's going to happen, and I hate the idea of it, but if it does it does and he'll have brought it upon himself.

Starqueg · May 2012

I never would have thought that "here's money for your honeymoon"="Family Vacation!!" Maybe that's just because my dad only travels when absolutely necessary or our formerly annual road trip to Maine. He has to travel for work and hates it. I think he'd like it more if he spent the entire three weeks in one place, but it's usually a few days here, a few there, one here, one there. It's exhausting.

Was it this board or E that had HIMYM spoilers on a morning thread? I had to skim that thread to avoid them. Stupid Monday night class from 7:30-10.

Girlie1030 · May 2012

i2012do is crying bullying/harassment again (link) and it's ridiculous. Telling someone they're being a douche is not harassment or bullying. Girl needs to grow thicker skin or head on over to weddingwire.

baystateapple · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_offended-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4c726cac-be15-4942-a3bb-658edabe9554Post:5f198d45-6762-4b6d-be97-6a6aa46bba8f">Re: Offended by my MOH</a>:
[QUOTE]i did.Online bullying is an epidemic and I am a huge propoont against it in my area. I even run a campaign. I won't stop reporting bullies as long as they continue to do it.
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]

Jeezum.

Nebb · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:656ef1d7-8ec4-411d-990f-a2bb4623632e">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]To me it seems like you being nice to your H bay is a result of him still manipulating you into feeling bad about a situation that he created. It gets frustrating b/c I want to protect you and tell you that he's getting to you and he's making you feel guilt and sensitive feelings towards him as a part of his game and that's not ok. I want you to get mad, I want you to get mean - but I realize that isn't your style, that's my style. It's just hard to sit back and watch a friend struggle when you know they don't deserve it. I do realize that you are doing the best you can to maintain and I'll always be proud of you for that, I just want him to get his paws off of you so that you can heal.
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]
Thats how I feel. I felt that way during smash's situation and she handled it was like 9000x more grace than I ever could.

NuggetBrain · May 2012

AATB - YGPM.

Damn that was a lot of acronyms. OMG. WTF.

sparent2010 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:6cac7de3-fad4-4b7d-8c50-508a0d3af885">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]i2012do is crying bullying/harassment again ( link ) and it's ridiculous. Telling someone they're being a douche is not harassment or bullying. Girl needs to grow thicker skin or head on over to weddingwire.
Posted by Girlie1030[/QUOTE]

She's nuts. I am not sure how anyone, let alone Maggie, was harassing her.

baystateapple · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:a50c786f-5f46-4e1b-837e-952d0ab77106">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : Thats how I feel. I felt that way during smash's situation and she handled it was like 9000x more grace than I ever could.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]
I can understand that. I felt pretty similar watching Ash (though I was lurking and didn't know her well). I felt the same way when a friend of mine got dumped back in November, then took the doucher back, and now they're getting married in September. I dunno, being in the situation is really surreal. You never really think you're going to be here, then you are. Half the time I feel like I'm just shooting in the dark when I make a decision. I never know if it's the right one.

AYG

Re: AYG

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