Changing Reception Venue

TheWeddingBunny · September 2012

Due to my FI's crazy ex (story in another thread) we have been forced to change the reception location at the last minute.

Originally we were going to have an outdoor reception about 20 minutes from the ceremony venue. We are now going to be having the reception at the venue. I have been given conflicting advice on how to handle the 2 issues that moving the reception raises:

1. Informing guests of the change. Some people have said via the mail...I do not have time to do this, as it is 10 days from now. Others have said print out a flyer and hand to guests in the church. This seems somewhat tacky to me, as the flyer" will not be nicely printed, etc as we have 10 days. Others say, and to be honest this is my favorite option, is that having the pastor make an announcement at the end of the service is fine, as we are actually moving the reseption to a closer location. We will also be having a receiving line so someone can be put in charge of making sure guests know as they go through the line.

Does anyone think the announcement/receiving line option is tacky?

2. What about guests that show up at the reception thinking it is still at the outdoor location? MANY have said that as the reception is the thank you to the guests for attending the service, any guests who only show up at the reception deserve to not know it has been moved. Am I correct in saying that is VERY tacky? The added issue is that a sign directing people to the right location results in crazy wedding crashing ex also knowing the location. Thoughts?

Thanks all.

kmmssg · September 2012

You know, no one knows the reason someone chooses to only attend a reception. We only had one couple miss DD's wedding and attend her reception. The reason they missed the wedding? Work schedule. I don't think it is fair to just say those that don't attend the wedding are screwed. In that regard, I think that would be very tacky.

Can you just get some blank post cards and run them through your computer, slap a stamp on them and get them to the post office?

TheWeddingBunny · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-reception-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f283b7d-2654-4985-bc1a-d411cfe4da1bPost:73d01a0d-758b-4a7c-8523-1cfa868a277c">Re: Changing Reception Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]You know, no one knows the reason someone chooses to only attend a reception. We only had one couple miss DD's wedding and attend her reception. The reason they missed the wedding? Work schedule. I don't think it is fair to just say those that don't attend the wedding are screwed. In that regard, I think that would be very tacky. Can you just get some blank post cards and run them through your computer, slap a stamp on them and get them to the post office?
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>No. I am in CA and the wedding is in Ohio...in smaller areas. The average turn around from mailing to receiving is about 6 days. And with the weekend coming up, I do not think they will get them.</div>

strlzfan11 · September 2012

I think your only options are to get something out in the mail asap or to pick up the phone and personally call each of your guests letting them know of the change.

TheWeddingBunny · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-reception-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f283b7d-2654-4985-bc1a-d411cfe4da1bPost:cbc8106a-0f96-44bd-a8a6-a6f97ff829af">Re: Changing Reception Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]I think your only options are to get something out in the mail asap or to pick up the phone and personally call each of your guests letting them know of the change.
Posted by strlzfan11[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Callling everyone isn't an option. The guestlist I got from FI's family didn't have phone numbers for everyone, and some of the people with the no phone number have RSVP'd yes. And I think it is also tacky to only call some guests and not others. And we have already tried White Pages.com and have not been able to get accurate phone numbers.</div>

Loopyseven · September 2012

With only 10 days left, I would not trust this to the USPS. I'd split up the list between you, your parents, your FI and your future in-laws and start making some phone calls. Also have someone stationed at the outdoor venue with a little flier with directions to the new location until probably 30 minutes after the "start" time on your invitation.

jessicabessica · September 2012

I would email or call everyone.

Loopyseven · September 2012

And - I'd have fliers with changes and directions at the church as well, but you also need someone at the "wrong" venue to direct people who may show up there that were not at the church.

TheWeddingBunny · September 2012

While I appreciate the numerous responses to email or call, I do not have phone numbers/emails for all guests.

If I had phone numbers, I would have called mysel without asking.

I really am asking for the opinions on the options I presented. Thanks.

JaxInBlue · September 2012

Agree with PPs that you need to get some sort of communication out to all of your guests as soon as possible. I would send an email or use an eletronic invitation service (I'm thinking something like paperless post or punch bowl) to send a note to all of those guests you can contact online. Then call anyone who you can't email. Enlist help from your FI to get the calls done. Have your officiant make a reminder-type announcement at the end of your service.

If possible, perhaps think about posting a sign at your old location notifying guests of the change of location, but I understand (from your previous post) if that isn't an option.

Loopyseven · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-reception-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f283b7d-2654-4985-bc1a-d411cfe4da1bPost:4ba9a8d3-6833-4373-8b5c-8f0f5e95b036">Re: Changing Reception Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]While I appreciate the numerous responses to email or call, I do not have phone numbers/emails for all guests. If I had phone numbers, I would have called mysel without asking. ;) I really am asking for the opinions on the options I presented. Thanks.
Posted by TheWeddingBunny[/QUOTE]

<div>Do your in laws/parents/extended family have phone numbers? I assume they got you the addresses somehow so they have a way of getting a hold of these people. Use your resourceslisted and get a hold of your guests personally. Your options are not really sufficient in this case. Mail is not reliable enough in this short time frame, and not everyone goes to the ceremony. </div><div>You are right that saying "if they don't come to the ceremony they don't deserve to find out where the reception has been moved to" is a really bad idea. That is extremely rude to people who will have taken the time to get dressed up and come out to celebrate with you only to find you not there.</div>

lyndausvi · September 2012

Does anyone else wonder if she has to pay more to the security company because of a venue change? I mean 2 guests doesn't really seem as much of a big deal as a VENUE change.

Anyway. You say calling is not an option, but neither is mail. Not to be mean but I really can't think of an other options that would not include a public announcement and that defeats the purpose.

I say, get your parents/in-laws/etc to help CALL everyone.

ETA - and yes, there are some very legit reasons not to go to a ceremony and not the reception. You are already going to look bad over the people who RSVP'd and you said couldn't come. Can you imagine if you switched venues without telling people?

Loopyseven · September 2012

Haha Lynda - I thought about asking what that would do to the security contract but decided I didn't want to go there tonight.

JoanE2012 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-reception-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f283b7d-2654-4985-bc1a-d411cfe4da1bPost:4d98dbd3-ca71-4322-9a88-751d3172cfce">Changing Reception Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]Due to my FI's crazy ex (story in another thread) we have been forced to change the reception location at the last minute. Originally we were going to have an outdoor reception about 20 minutes from the ceremony venue. We are now going to be having the reception at the venue. I have been given conflicting advice on how to handle the 2 issues that moving the reception raises: 1. Informing guests of the change. Some people have said via the mail...I do not have time to do this, as it is 10 days from now. Others have said print out a flyer and hand to guests in the church. This seems somewhat tacky to me,<strong> as the flyer" will not be nicely printed, etc as we have 10 days. </strong> Others say, and to be honest this is my favorite option, is that having the pastor make an announcement at the end of the service is fine, as we are actually moving the reseption to a closer location. We will also be having a receiving line so someone can be put in charge of making sure guests know as they go through the line. Does anyone think the announcement/receiving line option is tacky? 2. What about guests that show up at the reception thinking it is still at the outdoor location? MANY have said that as the reception is the thank you to the guests for attending the service, any guests who only show up at the reception deserve to not know it has been moved. Am I correct in saying that is VERY tacky? The added issue is that a sign directing people to the right location results in crazy wedding crashing ex also knowing the location. Thoughts? Thanks all.
Posted by TheWeddingBunny[/QUOTE]

It doesn't take 10 days to print up something nice. I would print up nice post card size notices with the new reception info and perhaps direction, have them handed out as people leave the ceremony, and also have someone at the "old" venue to direct anyone who shows up there.

lyndausvi · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-reception-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f283b7d-2654-4985-bc1a-d411cfe4da1bPost:8c7e3d61-a382-4233-b32b-83ced1bd8bb6">Re: Changing Reception Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]Haha Lynda - I thought about asking what that would do to the security contract but decided I didn't want to go there tonight.
Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]

<div>It's the Miller High Life speaking. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue Out" title="Tongue Out" /></div>

TheWeddingBunny · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-reception-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f283b7d-2654-4985-bc1a-d411cfe4da1bPost:fcd53ad1-37c6-4b61-8c0e-67402f44a819">Re: Changing Reception Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]Does anyone else wonder if she has to pay more to the security company because of a venue change? I mean 2 guests doesn't really seem as much of a big deal as a VENUE change. Anyway. You say calling is not an option, but neither is mail. Not to be mean but I really can't think of an other options that would not include a public announcement and that defeats the purpose. I say, get your parents/in-laws/etc to help CALL everyone. ETA - and yes, there are some very legit reasons not to go to a ceremony and not the reception. You are already going to look bad over the people who RSVP'd and you said couldn't come. Can you imagine if you switched venues without telling people?
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Yes, to answer your question, the venue change was $250.</div>

Maybone · September 2012

I agree. Get the phone numbers, from in-laws, family, friends. Is it more work and time consuming? Yes. But it is obviously important to you to change the venue, and your guests were important enough to get an invite. So this should be your number one priority. Start ASAP.

I know about 1/2 of my guests phone numbers, but if I needed to, I'd call my aunt and get what I could and then when I got a hold of Aunt Betty, I'd ask for Uncle Tom's number, etc. With the help of parents and FI you can probably have this done in a few hours. And like PP said, have someone wait at the old venue to informa anyone you might not have been able to confirm with on the phone GL!

crash2729 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-reception-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f283b7d-2654-4985-bc1a-d411cfe4da1bPost:fcd53ad1-37c6-4b61-8c0e-67402f44a819">Re: Changing Reception Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]Does anyone else wonder if she has to pay more to the security company because of a venue change? I mean 2 guests doesn't really seem as much of a big deal as a VENUE change.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]
I was kind of curious why the venue change because of the ex if that's what they hired the security for? <div>
</div><div>OP-Someone who wanted these people invited has a way to contact them other than mail. You just have to ask them and get the info OR have that person contact them. The only other option is flyers at the ceremony space and the old venue location.</div>

thurmanpowell · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-reception-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f283b7d-2654-4985-bc1a-d411cfe4da1bPost:1dbcaa9a-14e9-446a-996f-a575a12f1552">Re: Changing Reception Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Changing Reception Venue : It doesn't take 10 days to print up something nice. I would print up nice post card size notices with the new reception info and perhaps direction, have them handed out as people leave the ceremony, and also have someone at the "old" venue to direct anyone who shows up there.
Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]

Staples does pretty good work and the turn around would be less than an hour. We did our save the dates that way and 150 postcards was like 40 bucks or something.

I do think you should call though, so you avoid missing guests who miss the ceremony.

JoelandLeann · September 2012

I had to change the time of my ceremony within 2 days of my set date that was llisted on the invitation. This happened because my location managed to get double booked. We came to the solution that my wedding would proceed first (and on time) and the wedding would proceed after mind. Yes, I was stressed. Yes, it was a pain in the butt. I eventually figred out a way to contact everyone. I used phone calls, I delegated phone calls, I sent text messages, I sent fb messages, I sent email, I left memos at the hotels these people were staying, and I ask my bridal party to pass the word along as much as they could.

kmmssg · September 2012

This doesn't have to be so complicated but you seem stuck on not having everyone's phone number and you are shooting down any ideas you've been given.

You must have SOME phone numbers. Your FILS must have SOME phone numbers, same for your parents and extended family. Start soliciting their help. If you have one aunt's phone number, she probably has some of the others. Between you guys and your parents, siblings, autns/uncles/cousins/ g'parents you could cover a lot of ground today on this. Call everyone you can instead of being stuck on "I don't have everyone's phone numbers."

Having the minister announce it may miss some guests who can only attend the reception so that should not be your only form of notification. It is a good idea to have it announced, but you need to get on the phone to everyone you can. Stop concentrating on what you can't do and focus on what you can .

TheSlowskys · September 2012

You're giving this woman way too much power. Let her show up and security will handle it.

crash2729 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-reception-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f283b7d-2654-4985-bc1a-d411cfe4da1bPost:45091d2d-ca79-4f65-b375-7b2b5c995d75">Re:Changing Reception Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]You're giving this woman way too much power. <strong>Let her show up and security will handle it.
</strong>Posted by TheSlowskys[/QUOTE]

This is what baffles me.
If she has hired the security why change the venue?

The cynic in me says this has nothing to do with the ex, it's just a way to try to exclude people she doesn't want invited anymore (kind of like the "guest change fee" that was SO outragous).

KellyBrian2013 · September 2012

In Response to Re:Changing Reception Venue:[QUOTE]This is what baffles me. If she has hired the security why change the venue? The cynic in me says this has nothing to do with the ex, it's just a way to try to exclude people she doesn't want invited anymore kind of like the "guest change fee" that was SO outragous. Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

This. This. THIS. The fee to add two people for security who RSVPed yes wasn't received was SO outrageous so they were told not to show up... reality is, OP was annoyed their RSVP didn't show up and the wedding wasn't OMG FIRST PRIORITY!! when they were asked about their no response. But the fee to move the WHOLE DAMN THING is most assuredly better than adding two effing people. OP: Did you bother to ask again about adding your FI's two friends again since you were already changing the contract to use the new venue?

crash2729 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-reception-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f283b7d-2654-4985-bc1a-d411cfe4da1bPost:6f395dfb-340b-4c92-b471-3420d2679ec8">Re:Changing Reception Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Changing Reception Venue: This. This. THIS. The fee to add two people for security who RSVPed yes wasn't received was SO outrageous so they were told not to show up... reality is, OP was annoyed their RSVP didn't show up and the wedding wasn't OMG FIRST PRIORITY!! when they were asked about their no response. But the fee to move the WHOLE DAMN THING is most assuredly better than adding two effing people. OP:<strong> Did you bother to ask again about adding your FI's two friends again since you were already changing the contract to use the new venue?
</strong>Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

$10 says the answer is no.

I only think she's trying to exclude people because 1-she doesn't want to tell the people who can't make it to the ceremony the location and 2-she's hellbent on not getting people's phone #'s to tell them.

KellyBrian2013 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-reception-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f283b7d-2654-4985-bc1a-d411cfe4da1bPost:60705c29-4c4a-4be4-884f-b7e8a822e63a">Re:Changing Reception Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Changing Reception Venue : <strong> $10 says the answer is no.</strong> I only think she's trying to exclude people because 1-she doesn't want to tell the people who can't make it to the ceremony the location and 2-she's hellbent on not getting people's phone #'s to tell them.
Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

Oh, it was mostly rhetorical because I'm sure she didn't ask.

LemonMeringue · September 2012

This happened to a wedding that I'm attending next week. The bride sent a mass email (using bcc) and asked that guests reply to confirm that they got the message. I'm sure the couple also called people who don't use email or people who didn't reply to the first message. Personally this was easiest for me, it meant that I have the new info in my inbox in printable format, and it took me all of 2 seconds to reply to say I got the new info.

And I would want to know the venue change in advance. I'll do things like print maps or plan rides and carpools and the locations I'm given. I guess I don't *need* to know if I'm attending the ceremony as expected, but I also don't see why it's a huge deal to at least send an email. Someone may have a legitimate emergency like a flat tire and miss the ceremony.

KellyBrian2013 · September 2012

And people get lost. We had three seperate couples miss our ceremony because they got lost or had gotten the address mixed up (one went to "1234 South XYZ Avenue" instead of "1234 NORTH XYZ Avenue" like they were supposed to). They didn't intentionally miss our ceremony to be rude or to snub us to just partake in free food/booze of the recepion. It wouldn't have been fair to them to say "Well, you didn't show up to the ceremony so you're tacky and rude, and now you can't enjoy our reception".

cmmurphy89 · September 2012

....Did you read her original post? I don't know where the "guest change fee" or FI's friends came from.

The people she does not want at the wedding were never invited guest. Also, considering the nature of the uninvited guests, I would want to move the venue as well.

KellyBrian2013 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-reception-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f283b7d-2654-4985-bc1a-d411cfe4da1bPost:70fb4697-4d91-4b2a-947e-d9546a19599f">Re: Changing Reception Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]....<strong>Did you read her original post? I don't know where the "guest change fee" or FI's friends came from</strong>. The people she does not want at the wedding were never invited guest. Also, considering the nature of the uninvited guests, I would want to move the venue as well.
Posted by cmmurphy89[/QUOTE]

Perhaps you should lurk more.

The guest change fee and mention of her fiance's friends came from a previous post. She refused to allow her fiance's friends to attend the wedding because their RSVP was never received, even though they RSVP'ed that they would be attending. Because they got back in touch with her past her 3 or 4 day window between the RSVP date and when her guest list was due to the security company she hired, she decided not to pay whatever fee would be necessary to accomodate these guests of her FI and instead told them not to show up.

But she paid a hefty fee to move the ENTIRE wedding without consideration for adding those two freakin' people.

JoanE2012 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-reception-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f283b7d-2654-4985-bc1a-d411cfe4da1bPost:1cb93742-dd4f-4101-a71d-eb9e0448e990">Re: Changing Reception Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing Reception Venue : Perhaps you should lurk more. The guest change fee and mention of her fiance's friends came from a previous post. She refused to allow her fiance's friends to attend the wedding because their RSVP was never received, even though they RSVP'ed that they would be attending. Because they got back in touch with her past her 3 or 4 day window between the RSVP date and when her guest list was due to the security company she hired, she decided not to pay whatever fee would be necessary to accomodate these guests of her FI and instead told them not to show up. But she paid a hefty fee to move the ENTIRE wedding without consideration for adding those two freakin' people.
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

I can totally see this on an episode of Bridezillas!

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