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Wedding Party
Marilynor
member
Bridesmaidzilla's Are stressing me out!
Hello everyone,
I am getting married on May 15, 2010, I have had all my Bridesmaids and groomsmen picked out for a few months now.The groomesmen all went to get measured and make their deposit, except for one my fiance's brother in law, his sisters husband, she already made her deposit, but he never did, his deadline was twosaturdays ago.I kept calling both of them and they never returned my calls and he never went to get measured once again this past Sat. So I dropeed both of them becaiuse they obviously don't want to be in my wed.Was I wrong to do that? I called them for a whole week and never heard from them.
It's been a nightmare since day one, I should've just eloped. during christmas I told his other sister our wedding date and she said her sons birthday is that day and that she was having a party for him, so she couldn't attend. I suggested she have his party a day before or a day afer. But she said wel his birthday is that day.I don't know what to do anymore with his family, I am very confused, do I want to marry into this family?
His mom however said she will be attending.
Need advise please..
I am getting married on May 15, 2010, I have had all my Bridesmaids and groomsmen picked out for a few months now.The groomesmen all went to get measured and make their deposit, except for one my fiance's brother in law, his sisters husband, she already made her deposit, but he never did, his deadline was twosaturdays ago.I kept calling both of them and they never returned my calls and he never went to get measured once again this past Sat. So I dropeed both of them becaiuse they obviously don't want to be in my wed.Was I wrong to do that? I called them for a whole week and never heard from them.
It's been a nightmare since day one, I should've just eloped. during christmas I told his other sister our wedding date and she said her sons birthday is that day and that she was having a party for him, so she couldn't attend. I suggested she have his party a day before or a day afer. But she said wel his birthday is that day.I don't know what to do anymore with his family, I am very confused, do I want to marry into this family?
His mom however said she will be attending.
Need advise please..
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Bridesmaidzilla's Are stressing me out!
And you are upset because she is putting her son before you?
She's not the -zilla here. You are.
Damn.
So you dropped a FAMILY MEMBER out of the WP for not calling you for a week? That's just nuts. Did it ever occur to you that maybe they have something else going on in their lives besides your wedding. FYI- It does not take 2 months to get a tux rental. We often go a week beforehand when FI needs to come to a formal even with me, and that's plenty of time.
If his sister doesn't want to attend your wedding, then so be it. Not everyone will be able to work with your schedule. She gets to choose her own priorities. And if you are being such an AW that you drop family members from the WP after a week with no communication, then I wouldn't want to go to your wedding either.
I think you need to calm down. Send out invitations, collect the RSVPs and stop badgering his family. If they want to be in the WP, they will get the prescribed attire and show up. If they don't show up, then they have removed themselves, without YOU looking like a B, and you just have 2 less people standing up with you.
I have to say, I don't think that was a nice or prudent decision.
Is there more to this story?
Maybe I am just stressing too much!
[QUOTE]Hello everyone, I am getting married on May 15, 2010, I have had all my Bridesmaids and groomsmen picked out for a few months now.The groomesmen all went to get measured and make their deposit, except for one my fiance's brother in law, his sisters husband, she already made her deposit, but he never did, his deadline was twosaturdays ago.I kept calling both of them and they never returned my calls and he never went to get measured once again this past Sat. So I dropeed both of them becaiuse they obviously don't want to be in my wed.Was I wrong to do that? I called them for a whole week and never heard from them. It's been a nightmare since day one, I should've just eloped. during christmas I told his other sister our wedding date and she said her sons birthday is that day and that she was having a party for him, so she couldn't attend. I suggested she have his party a day before or a day afer. But she said wel his birthday is that day.I don't know what to do anymore with his family, I am very confused, do I want to marry into this family? His mom however said she will be attending. Need advise please..
Posted by Marilynor[/QUOTE]
JIC
You over-reacted when you kicked people out of your WP. I'd suggest calling them both and telling them that you had caught a serious case of the wedding "sillies", but fortunately, you've recovered and hope that they'll accept your sincere apologies for your behavior.
You were wrong here, not them.
As for the b'day party-yes, I think that the sister could have planned the party on a different day. If she calls your bluff and sticks to her "not coming to the wedding" status, I'd shake my head a little, put on a sad little smile, and say "I'm so sorry to hear that. You'll be missed."
And in case it's not, then no. I don't think your wedding is or should be more important to her than her child's birthday. If you cared so much about her coming, you should have checked the date with her before you chose it - obviously this doesn't apply for every guest, but you can be that I made sure my dad and best friends were free on our wedding date before booking anything.
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You are acting completely unreasonable.
I agree with PP. On all points.
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"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
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[QUOTE]I hope this is MUD and nobody in real life actually does this.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]
Ditto.
the mother of the birthday boy is NOT the sister that was thrown out of the wedding party. They are 2 different women.
One woman (bridesmaid) and her husband (groomsman) who didn't order his tux
were both thrown out.
The mother of birthday boy isn't coming because it's the day of her son's birthday.
It helps to keep all the players straight.
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Here's how it works: you choose a dress and a tux. Tell WP members how much it costs, and where to buy said attire. If you feel super helpful, you can find out when the absolute, final day to order the attire is and let them know.
Then you wash your hands of it. If a member of the party does not get the proper attire by the day of the wedding, then they have effectively removed themselves from the wedding party. No kicking-out required.
As far as the B-day party; tell her that she and nephew will be missed and leave it at that. You're getting yourself far too worked up here.
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And as for kicking out the BM and GM basically because they weren't returning calls is INSANE! And they are family. That is HORRIBLE! Did you ever think for a second maybe they were going through something where they didn't have time to go get measured for you wedding or take your calls. You know everyone elses lives don't stop just because you are getting married.
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[QUOTE]OMG Do I seem that Bitchy?LOL Maybe I am being a little sarcastic, but till this day I have not heard from either one of them. What choice do I have? And as far as the sister that has her son's birthday on the same day, Do't you think a wedding is far more important than her son's birthday party? She can make an exception for her brother, don't you think?So if I am wrong, do I ask her to still be in the wedding without her husband or do I just leave things the way they are? The tux place wasn't calling me almost everyday because of the deadline, that's the only reason why I expected FI to go and get measured asap. Maybe I am just stressing too much!
Posted by Marilynor[/QUOTE]
Her son's birthday is WAY more important to her than your wedding. The whole universe does not revolve around you, even ON your wedding day. Apologize and try to salvage what you can. No bridesmaid-zillas here, just a full blown bridezilla.
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"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
[QUOTE]Come up with better MUD. That's my advice.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]
<div>This. </div>
Tuxes don't need to be ordered until way later. You need to definitely apologize!
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Now...is the bday drama with the same sister in law? I think that is INSANE!! I'm sorry but a child's birthday PARTY does not compare to a wedding. It's not like they can't still have a party for the kid!! I'm not saying the bday isn't important b/c it is and good for the parents for wanting to make it special. But that can be done like you said the day before or after! When a bday falls during the week it's common to wait and have the party on a more convenient day...this falls under the same principal. I think that sis in law is being a jerk.
You need to try (I know it's hard) to let this go and focus on your wedding day and what it means and ALL of the other people who do love you enough to be there!!
Good luck
I made the call already.I'm just going to leave it alone. Thanks ladies..
But the truth came out a little bit later...sounds like the hubby's family isn't that close to begin with. So my question is...why are you stressing about it? You're at a 10 when you need to be at a 2. As other people have said, calm down, do your best with the planning (without micromanaging everyone half to death), and just enjoy this period. You'll never get to do this again (well, ideally you won't have to), so please please please try to relish each moment and not let weird family dynamics rob you of your joy. Good luck!
As for the other FSI having the birthday party for her son on the day of our wedding.She is still having the party and missing her brothers wedding, so I will leave it for what it is.