The men - how do they coordinate their looks?

kikibird · January 2010

I'm drawing a blank, thought someone here might be able to help. We're just starting to look at my FI's attire and his groomsmen, and are kind of clueless as to how to coordinate colors and whatnot. And then there are the fathers to consider. The books I have all focus on the bride and the bridesmaids... so I have not found any guidance yet on how to think about the look for the men.

Can anyone give me a breakdown of how to work out what the guys are wearing? We're thinking tuxes for all, and the groomsmen wearing a vest/tie combo that will match the bridesmaids, but how does the groom's outfit usually differentiate? Just with the boutonniere, or more than that? FI will wear a different flower that will match my bouquet, but should, say, his shirt match the color of my dress (I'm wearing diamond white/ivory). Would his vest match the groomsmen, or match me?

And fathers, how to set them apart, besides flowers? Or is that all there is to it? There will be three fathers at our wedding, our dads and my stepdad, who I'm very close to.

Sorry to go on so long, I'm just at a total loss... thanks in advance!

mbcdefg · January 2010

There are no rules, so it's up to your FI what he and the groomsmen wear.

People will know who the groomsmen are because they're in the processional/recessional and will be standing up there ... and people will know who the groom is because he's the one getting married. So don't go nuts trying to make people stand out or differentiate them.

Groomsmen can match the BMs or they can wear a neutral colored vest and tie ... black, silver, champagne, latte, a subtle gold color. If you want to tie in colors but don't like colored vests, you could do a black vest with a colored tie.

For the shirt, you don't need to match it to your gown. He won't be standing next to you all night. And even if he is, in the formal pics all you will see is his collar and cuffs since he'll likely have the jacket on. White tux shirts are neutral. And just like you picked a dress shade to flatter your skintone, your FI should pick a shirt color that flatters HIM. Let him choose his shirt color by trying things on.

Dads are not part of the wedding party, so you don't have to pick out their attire. Offer suggestions if they ask, but otherwise leave it be and let them choose what they'd like to wear. They may want to coordinate with their wives, or go neutral (black or silver vests, maybe). Tell them what the groomsmen are wearing and then stay out of it unless they ask for advice.

My FI and his two groomsmen are going to wear black tuxes with black vests. FI picked out a green and white tie for himself, and green and black ties for the groomsmen (we don't like colored vests but we wanted to bring in some green). They will probably wear white shirts since FI does not like ivory shirts ... he can decide when he goes to order tuxes next month. FI has a white rose boutonniere and the groomsmen will have pink gerbera daisy boutonnieres. The dads will get white orchid boutonnieres, but for the attire they're on their own (I'd be willing to bet that they will get black vests and ties, but we'll see).

kikibird · January 2010

I guess I was thinking fathers were in the bridal party (or at the least my dad, since he will be walking me down the aisle). But coordinating with wives makes a lot of sense (and I'm sure they will appreciate being able to do so). My dad just told me today "whatever you want me to wear", so I thought I had to come up with something!

And FI will have a blue delphinium in his boutonniere, which will match the couple of blue delph sprigs in my bouquet (none of the BMs will have blue in their bouquets), so that may be enough for him. I'll see what he wants to do.

Thanks, MB!

cukimerrydoll · January 2010

Our groomsmen will all be wearing a black tux and white shirt with purple vests and ties to coordinate with the bridesmaids.
My FH will be wearing a black tux with a white vest and tie to coordinate with me.

As for flowers, I want the boutenieres to coordinate with the cooresponding BM/GM, B/G, parent, etc.
We're going with orange flowers for the BMs, and a white bouquet for me. So the GMs will have orange boutenieres (I'm thinking calla lilies), and FHs will be the same style, but white.

As for our parents, my mom (who has lost her freaking mind) is insisting that our dads rent tuxes, but I know my dad wants to wear his fancy black suit - so I'm having him talk her out of it. Whatever color dress she goes with, I'll get coordinating boutenieres for them, and I told Dad that I'm getting him a new tie.

kristinanddan · January 2010

We went with the very classic - guys in tuxes, groomsmen with black vests and ties, my husband with a white vest and tie. My husband's bout matched a flower in my bouquet, so it was different from the guys.
I wore a diamond white dress but DH wore a white shirt. I find ivory shirts to photograph funny, especially in pictures of the groom alone.
Our dads also wore black vests and ties with their tuxes, to match the groomsmen.

kikibird · January 2010

Thanks cukimerrydoll and kristenanddan! Hearing what you did/are doing is very helpful to me!

The men - how do they coordinate their looks?

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