In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:4f2f5302-cc11-4009-af11-113e18acc2a5">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Might not be divorced before wedding : *shrug* I guess sometimes the truth can be mean. Oh and I'm already married thanks. Our totally legal ceremony was wonderful. Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:a2e5f757-91e0-4568-8428-e6895b3f54f9">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]salt78 you are a mean person. I feel bad for the man you are marrying. redhead, I have taken it as far as I can. There are kids involved and a lot of property. I cannot give him everything and walk away. I have worked 30 years for what I have. Things are always more complicated then they appear. I do appreciate your advice. And yes he is a not a very good person right now. Some things happened to him in the last few years of our marriage that changed him. To all the hateful posters...I won't say what I would like to say because even posting here I have concern for other people's feelings and don't hide behind my computer. Maybe once you are older and wiser you will learn some respect for others. Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
You've clearly proven to everyone that age has nothing to do with maturity. Bigamy is fucking illegal. Does your officiant know you're still legally married? If he/she knew that, he probably wouldn't perform the ceremony. If your love for your FI is truly the most important thing, then you can eat the deposits, wait, and do things like a normal person. Christ. Don't get on your high horse because you're older than most of these posters.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:a2e5f757-91e0-4568-8428-e6895b3f54f9">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]salt78 you are a mean person. I feel bad for the man you are marrying. redhead, I have taken it as far as I can. There are kids involved and a lot of property. I cannot give him everything and walk away. I have worked 30 years for what I have. Things are always more complicated then they appear. I do appreciate your advice. And yes he is a not a very good person right now. Some things happened to him in the last few years of our marriage that changed him. To all the hateful posters...I won't say what I would like to say because even posting here I have concern for other people's feelings and don't hide behind my computer. Maybe once you are older and wiser you will learn some respect for others. Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
I hope your brand of crazy doesn't come with getting older.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:a2e5f757-91e0-4568-8428-e6895b3f54f9">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]salt78 you are a mean person. I feel bad for the man you are marrying. redhead, I have taken it as far as I can. There are kids involved and a lot of property. I cannot give him everything and walk away. I have worked 30 years for what I have. Things are always more complicated then they appear. I do appreciate your advice. And yes he is a not a very good person right now. Some things happened to him in the last few years of our marriage that changed him. To all the hateful posters...I won't say what I would like to say because even posting here I have concern for other people's feelings and don't hide behind my computer. Maybe once you are older and wiser <strong>you will learn some respect for others.</strong> Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
Have some respect for your fiance. Divorce your friggin' husband before you marry him!
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:7031cabc-3881-4aa0-88d2-29b8a8b78cb9">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Might not be divorced before wedding : Have some respect for your fiance. Divorce your friggin' husband before you marry him! Posted by ggmae[/QUOTE]
I love the spunky gg!
BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
Oh I'm not hiding behind my computer. I'm just as honest in person. That's what good, respectful people do. They are honest when asked a question. If you want to find yourself in a pickle come August (or whenever it was) then fine. Don't come here and ask for help and opinions if you can't handle criticism.
Also, fwiw, obtaining a divorce is not like you see on TV or in the movies. It is not legal, binding or finalized as soon as the person "signs the paperwork." There is a process and that process can take a handful of appearances in Court, even if it is a full stipulated divorce. More often than not states require a certain waiting period before the parties can even get married.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:7c8ab6e6-d614-4392-bf50-51bbebcdc788">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]Pissed? How funny. My friends and family support us and would never feel that way. We will have the ceremony, no deposits lost. I'm just totally blown away by the people posting here. Wow lol I'm not going to even read anymore. I appreciate your opinions but <strong>something a little more positive was what I had expected.</strong> Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
<div>Really? Is that what you honestly expected?</div>
So I'm sure the op isn't coming back (you mean mean young ladies!) but this has me wondering...
If she isn't technically divorced yet...and wannabeex husband gets hold of the invites, ceremony, wedding tape etc...could he use that as proof of adulty in the divorce court? Technically she's cheating on her husband as he is still husband by law...
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:4f2f5302-cc11-4009-af11-113e18acc2a5">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Might not be divorced before wedding : Oh and I'm already married thanks. Our totally legal ceremony was wonderful. Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:291e202c-6993-4cbb-b7bb-40d84a53f267">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]So I'm sure the op isn't coming back (you mean mean young ladies!) but this has me wondering... If she isn't technically divorced yet...and wannabeex husband gets hold of the invites, ceremony, wedding tape etc...could he use that as proof of adulty in the divorce court?<strong> Technically she's cheating on her husband as he is still husband by law...</strong> Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
<div>If they're legally separated, I don't think it's an issue. However, if they aren't, and they have kids who are under 18, she may be screwed with custody.</div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:291e202c-6993-4cbb-b7bb-40d84a53f267">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]So I'm sure the op isn't coming back (you mean mean young ladies!) but this has me wondering... <strong>If she isn't technically divorced yet...and wannabeex husband gets hold of the invites, ceremony, wedding tape etc...could he use that as proof of adulty in the divorce court? Technically she's cheating on her husband as he is still husband by law...</strong> Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
I'm no lawyer, but I assume that he could use that against her in some way.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:291e202c-6993-4cbb-b7bb-40d84a53f267">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]So I'm sure the op isn't coming back (you mean mean young ladies!) but this has me wondering... If she isn't technically divorced yet...and wannabeex husband gets hold of the invites, ceremony, wedding tape etc...could he use that as proof of adulty in the divorce court? Technically she's cheating on her husband as he is still husband by law... Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
Could ( if it matters)
Many states will not even look at adultery in many situations. It depends... which is why she needs a lawyer. But I also doubt she is coming back.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:e39a313e-2ad0-4717-9463-062d90cbc0c4">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]Some states consider adultery when considering property division, alimony, and especially custody. <strong>This has white trash written all over it. </strong>Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]
I'm sure he could definitely hold a wedding against her since she's still legally married!
What postive comments were you looking for? That your ex-husband is a jerk and you deserve to have a pretty princess day even though you're still legally married? That your wedding guests won't have a problem with you still be married?
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:a2e5f757-91e0-4568-8428-e6895b3f54f9">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]salt78 you are a mean person. I feel bad for the man you are marrying. Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE] i'm actually a wee bit jealousE of him.
[QUOTE]To all the hateful posters...I won't say what I would like to say because even posting here I have concern for other people's feelings and don't hide behind my computer. Maybe once you are older and wiser you will learn some respect for others. Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE] [QUOTE]LOL What a bunch of losers. Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE] LOL
also, why does she assume she's such an older fart than the rest of us?
Obviously we are all 22 and getting ready for our first marriages...Definitely no older people or people who have gone through a divorce...
I find the arguement "I'm old so I don't have time to waste getting married" an interesting arguement. If you (presumably) are not getting married with the intent of setting up a house, having kids, insurance, etc (all things I associate with a younger marriage of non-established people) than what's waiting another year?
Ok that was mean to say, but it still does make me wonder.
I second that Katie. I am divorced. Was divorced (finalized!) over 1 1/2 years before I started dating FI. Dated FI 3 years before we got engaged and wedding was set 1 year out from engagement. We're both over 30 and don't have kids yet and WANT kids and we didn't rush. If I was 47 and already had the kids and the house I would take my sweet a$$ time. What's the rush? If I knew she was still married, I wouldn't even attend the "wedding".
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:b362d5e1-f211-4439-bb2d-a386b4cee711">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]He feels the same way I do. Have the ceremony and then have it done legally later. There is still a good chance the paperwork will be done in time. I'm not concerned since we have it hashed out. Our vows, commitment and love are what is important. Not a piece of paper that will come in time anyway. Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
If all that is "what is important" then wait until the divorce is final and go on down to the courthouse and get married. No fuss, no worring about if it's going to be legal.
And to answer your original question. No, I've never heard of anyone having this problem. My friends who are marrying or have married their second (or third) spouse have all waited until their divorce was final before they attempted to marry anyone else. In my circle, anything else would be frowned upon.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:b362d5e1-f211-4439-bb2d-a386b4cee711">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]He feels the same way I do. Have the ceremony and then have it done legally later. There is still a good chance the paperwork will be done in time. I'm not concerned since we have it hashed out. Our vows, commitment and love are what is important. Not a piece of paper that will come in time anyway. Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE] Not really because if you're still legally married, you can not legally marry your fiance. It's not a possibility. To have a ceremony when you're not legally able to marry someone because you're still legally married to someone else is just a sham. I say this not because I'm young (I'm not) or insensitive (although I may be), but because it's a fact.<div> </div><div>Note: you are not completely lacking in responsibility here. You do not have to wait for him to agree to a divorce to finalize one. You do have to assert yourself in the legal proceeding.</div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-not-divorced-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafc0f1-5003-4afe-a2ed-d20c2509a375Post:2cd575ad-b261-4e28-ab05-e8dc0ab042c1">Re: Might not be divorced before wedding</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Might not be divorced before wedding : If they're legally separated, I don't think it's an issue. However, if they aren't, and they have kids who are under 18, <strong>she may be screwed with custody</strong>. Posted by btrflykate1230[/QUOTE]
One of the (many) reasons my dad got full custody of the 2 kids from his first marriage was his still-wife ran off and tried to marry a 17 year old in Florida!
First of all, I got married at 43 for the first time, so i understand personally the urgency of an older bride.
Yet I agree with the other posters. You really need to get the divorce finalized and then get married in September.
>> I cannot contact the ex. There is a restrianing order. I have contacted his attorney. Once he signs the divorce will be final as soon as the attorney files the papers with the court. No waiting.
YOU shouldn't be contacting the ex and you shouldn't be contacting his attorney. You need to light a fire under YOUR OWN DIVORCE ATTORNEY, who will file papers with his divorce attorney and get this done.
If what you are really saying between the lines is that YOU DON'T HAVE A DIVORCE ATTORNEY who can get this handled, then that is where you must start. Next week, you GET A DIVORCE ATTORNEY and get this divorce finalized in April - no matter if you have to have a little Mr. Buford man chase down your ex like in "Sweet Home Alabama." Whatever it takes.
I understand that as an older bride, time is of the essence...but as an older bride, you shouldn't be so impetuous. You're not 18 running off with your high school boyfriend.
No one has an issue with you wanting to remarry, but it was unwise to plan a wedding when things were not finalized. Your ex is probably making a power play and as PP said, I'd make sure there aren't any negative implications to you "getting married" without being divorced. Don't give him an upper hand.
And yes, please tell whoever is performing the ceremony that you are still married. I think you should postpone--perhaps if you keep the same vendors you won't lose some of the deposits.
Oh, I missed you kristin. And for some reason I thought you were more around 19 years old.
And although OP probably left to plan her second (at a time) wedding, if it is so hard to get her husband to sign divorce papers, why doesnt she have a divorce lawyer yet?
Has anyone suggested taking notes from the movie "Sweet Home Alabama" yet?
If you're still married, buy stuff with your "marital" money! Move back into your "marital" house and redecorate! That'll get your husband to sign those papers pretty quick.
Re: Might not be divorced before wedding
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Might not be divorced before wedding : *shrug* I guess sometimes the truth can be mean. Oh and I'm already married thanks. Our totally legal ceremony was wonderful.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
FTW!
[QUOTE]salt78 you are a mean person. I feel bad for the man you are marrying. redhead, I have taken it as far as I can. There are kids involved and a lot of property. I cannot give him everything and walk away. I have worked 30 years for what I have. Things are always more complicated then they appear. I do appreciate your advice. And yes he is a not a very good person right now. Some things happened to him in the last few years of our marriage that changed him. To all the hateful posters...I won't say what I would like to say because even posting here I have concern for other people's feelings and don't hide behind my computer. Maybe once you are older and wiser you will learn some respect for others.
Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
You've clearly proven to everyone that age has nothing to do with maturity. Bigamy is fucking illegal. Does your officiant know you're still legally married? If he/she knew that, he probably wouldn't perform the ceremony. If your love for your FI is truly the most important thing, then you can eat the deposits, wait, and do things like a normal person. Christ. Don't get on your high horse because you're older than most of these posters.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
[QUOTE]salt78 you are a mean person. I feel bad for the man you are marrying. redhead, I have taken it as far as I can. There are kids involved and a lot of property. I cannot give him everything and walk away. I have worked 30 years for what I have. Things are always more complicated then they appear. I do appreciate your advice. And yes he is a not a very good person right now. Some things happened to him in the last few years of our marriage that changed him. To all the hateful posters...I won't say what I would like to say because even posting here I have concern for other people's feelings and don't hide behind my computer. Maybe once you are older and wiser you will learn some respect for others.
Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
I hope your brand of crazy doesn't come with getting older.
[QUOTE]salt78 you are a mean person. I feel bad for the man you are marrying. redhead, I have taken it as far as I can. There are kids involved and a lot of property. I cannot give him everything and walk away. I have worked 30 years for what I have. Things are always more complicated then they appear. I do appreciate your advice. And yes he is a not a very good person right now. Some things happened to him in the last few years of our marriage that changed him. To all the hateful posters...I won't say what I would like to say because even posting here I have concern for other people's feelings and don't hide behind my computer. Maybe once you are older and wiser <strong>you will learn some respect for others.</strong>
Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
Have some respect for your fiance. Divorce your friggin' husband before you marry him!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Might not be divorced before wedding : Have some respect for your fiance. Divorce your friggin' husband before you marry him!
Posted by ggmae[/QUOTE]
I love the spunky gg!
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
[QUOTE]Pissed? How funny. My friends and family support us and would never feel that way. We will have the ceremony, no deposits lost. I'm just totally blown away by the people posting here. Wow lol I'm not going to even read anymore. I appreciate your opinions but <strong>something a little more positive was what I had expected.</strong>
Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
<div>Really? Is that what you honestly expected?</div>
If she isn't technically divorced yet...and wannabeex husband gets hold of the invites, ceremony, wedding tape etc...could he use that as proof of adulty in the divorce court? Technically she's cheating on her husband as he is still husband by law...
House / Baby blog
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Might not be divorced before wedding : Oh and I'm already married thanks. Our totally legal ceremony was wonderful.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
YES.
Books read in 2012: 21/50
[QUOTE]So I'm sure the op isn't coming back (you mean mean young ladies!) but this has me wondering... If she isn't technically divorced yet...and wannabeex husband gets hold of the invites, ceremony, wedding tape etc...could he use that as proof of adulty in the divorce court?<strong> Technically she's cheating on her husband as he is still husband by law...</strong>
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
<div>If they're legally separated, I don't think it's an issue. However, if they aren't, and they have kids who are under 18, she may be screwed with custody.</div>
[QUOTE]So I'm sure the op isn't coming back (you mean mean young ladies!) but this has me wondering... <strong>If she isn't technically divorced yet...and wannabeex husband gets hold of the invites, ceremony, wedding tape etc...could he use that as proof of adulty in the divorce court? Technically she's cheating on her husband as he is still husband by law...</strong>
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
I'm no lawyer, but I assume that he could use that against her in some way.
[QUOTE]So I'm sure the op isn't coming back (you mean mean young ladies!) but this has me wondering... If she isn't technically divorced yet...and wannabeex husband gets hold of the invites, ceremony, wedding tape etc...could he use that as proof of adulty in the divorce court? Technically she's cheating on her husband as he is still husband by law...
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
Could ( if it matters)
Many states will not even look at adultery in many situations. It depends... which is why she needs a lawyer. But I also doubt she is coming back.
Planning Bio
Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*
[QUOTE]Some states consider adultery when considering property division, alimony, and especially custody. <strong>This has white trash written all over it.
</strong>Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]
<div>Loves it.</div>
What postive comments were you looking for? That your ex-husband is a jerk and you deserve to have a pretty princess day even though you're still legally married? That your wedding guests won't have a problem with you still be married?
Sorry, ain't happening.
[QUOTE]salt78 you are a mean person. I feel bad for the man you are marrying.
Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
i'm actually a wee bit jealousE of him.
[QUOTE]To all the hateful posters...I won't say what I would like to say because even posting here I have concern for other people's feelings and don't hide behind my computer. Maybe once you are older and wiser you will learn some respect for others.
Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]LOL What a bunch of losers.
Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
LOL
also, why does she assume she's such an older fart than the rest of us?
I find the arguement "I'm old so I don't have time to waste getting married" an interesting arguement. If you (presumably) are not getting married with the intent of setting up a house, having kids, insurance, etc (all things I associate with a younger marriage of non-established people) than what's waiting another year?
Ok that was mean to say, but it still does make me wonder.
House / Baby blog
[QUOTE]He feels the same way I do. Have the ceremony and then have it done legally later. There is still a good chance the paperwork will be done in time. I'm not concerned since we have it hashed out. Our vows, commitment and love are what is important. Not a piece of paper that will come in time anyway.
Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
If all that is "what is important" then wait until the divorce is final and go on down to the courthouse and get married. No fuss, no worring about if it's going to be legal.
And to answer your original question. No, I've never heard of anyone having this problem. My friends who are marrying or have married their second (or third) spouse have all waited until their divorce was final before they attempted to marry anyone else. In my circle, anything else would be frowned upon.
[QUOTE]He feels the same way I do. Have the ceremony and then have it done legally later. There is still a good chance the paperwork will be done in time. I'm not concerned since we have it hashed out. Our vows, commitment and love are what is important. Not a piece of paper that will come in time anyway.
Posted by cwcottage[/QUOTE]
Not really because if you're still legally married, you can not legally marry your fiance. It's not a possibility. To have a ceremony when you're not legally able to marry someone because you're still legally married to someone else is just a sham. I say this not because I'm young (I'm not) or insensitive (although I may be), but because it's a fact.<div>
</div><div>Note: you are not completely lacking in responsibility here. You do not have to wait for him to agree to a divorce to finalize one. You do have to assert yourself in the legal proceeding.</div>
My Bio
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Might not be divorced before wedding : If they're legally separated, I don't think it's an issue. However, if they aren't, and they have kids who are under 18, <strong>she may be screwed with custody</strong>.
Posted by btrflykate1230[/QUOTE]
One of the (many) reasons my dad got full custody of the 2 kids from his first marriage was his still-wife ran off and tried to marry a 17 year old in Florida!
Not thinking about consequences, FTW.
Yet I agree with the other posters. You really need to get the divorce finalized and then get married in September.
>> I cannot contact the ex. There is a restrianing order. I have contacted his attorney. Once he signs the divorce will be final as soon as the attorney files the papers with the court. No waiting.
YOU shouldn't be contacting the ex and you shouldn't be contacting his attorney. You need to light a fire under YOUR OWN DIVORCE ATTORNEY, who will file papers with his divorce attorney and get this done.
If what you are really saying between the lines is that YOU DON'T HAVE A DIVORCE ATTORNEY who can get this handled, then that is where you must start. Next week, you GET A DIVORCE ATTORNEY and get this divorce finalized in April - no matter if you have to have a little Mr. Buford man chase down your ex like in "Sweet Home Alabama." Whatever it takes.
No one has an issue with you wanting to remarry, but it was unwise to plan a wedding when things were not finalized. Your ex is probably making a power play and as PP said, I'd make sure there aren't any negative implications to you "getting married" without being divorced. Don't give him an upper hand.
And yes, please tell whoever is performing the ceremony that you are still married. I think you should postpone--perhaps if you keep the same vendors you won't lose some of the deposits.
My Married Bio
And although OP probably left to plan her second (at a time) wedding, if it is so hard to get her husband to sign divorce papers, why doesnt she have a divorce lawyer yet?