Pre/post party for destination wedding

AddieCake · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:5aaac10a-24c4-4ae8-8a8c-1b9908a9c0da">Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding : I really don't get why you ladies are getting so hostile about somones opinion. Yes it is a "fake" marriage but Terri is right, sometimes you run into obstacles after you have plans set in stone. Everyone knows that its no proper etiquette but s**t happens. And no I wouldn't consider myself married until I look FH in the eyes and say my vows. We can all have our own opinons but let's not be mean about them.
Posted by Lissa1213[/QUOTE]

<div>Mean and hostile? These comments? Really? Saying things like "I'm confused" "This doesn't make sense" and "I don't understand" are hostile words?</div>

Lissa1213 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:d0c0fdee-85c6-4b0a-9f49-4895e29a702d">Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding : Mean and hostile? These comments? Really? Saying things like "I'm confused" "This doesn't make sense" and "I don't understand" are hostile words?
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

Addie, I was referring to everyone jumping on Terri's post. It just seemed a bit mean to demean her suggestion as to why the OP might be having a fake wedding.

I agree with most of you and fully agree that you should do some indept checking on marriage requirements before choosing a location. It's just that things do happen to put a damper on the plans. I do think that the OP should invite her guests under the heading of a vow renewal though.

TerriHugg · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:961e39ff-513b-465a-b2f5-a3aec2a1c7a0">Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding : <strong>But here it doesn't matter whether the wedding planner actually cares about you or just wants your money: in either case, the legality of the couple's marriage isn't in question. </strong>Yes, there are good wedding planners and wedding planners who don't deliver what they've offered in exchange for the fee they charge. When that happens, it's just a case of business fraud- it's not depriving people of all of those rights and protections to which married couples are legally entitled.
Posted by renegade gaucho[/QUOTE]

<div>I couldn't help but laught at this. You'd be suprised how many people don't know about the legal requirements here even when working with a wedding planner. It happens more than you think. </div><div>
</div><div>I once spoke to a planner who said the day of the wedding right before she walks down the aisle, she says "So when do I get my marriage license? Or is it not necessary?"</div><div>
</div><div>True story. But that's a story for a whole different thread! LOL</div>

AdeleDazeem · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:299d593c-52ee-4ec3-9b7b-d2e4f2386b2e">Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding : Addie, I was referring to everyone jumping on Terri's post. It just seemed a bit mean to demean her suggestion as to why the OP might be having a fake wedding. I agree with most of you and fully agree that you should do some indept checking on marriage requirements before choosing a location. <strong> It's just that things do happen to put a damper on the plans.</strong> I do think that the OP should invite her guests under the heading of a vow renewal though.
Posted by Lissa1213[/QUOTE]

I'm going to put a damper on their plans if they couldn't think of their guests aside from themselves. Not understanding the marriage requirements before you book and send STDs is not "things do happen," it's just stupidity.

EDIT: I stand by everything I've said in this post. If you think I'm being a big ole meanie, then so be it. I'm being honest, forthcoming, and speaking from as someone who has gone through this entire process. There are very few excuses for a fake wedding and marriage requirements in Mexico is not one of them.

LiLe422 · March 2013

I really don't get why you ladies are getting so hostile about somones opinion.nbsp; Yes it is a "fake" marriage but Terri is right, sometimes you run into obstacles after you have plans set in stone.nbsp; Everyone knows that its no proper etiquette but st happens.nbsp; And no I wouldn't consider myself married until I look FH in the eyes and say my vows.nbsp; We can all have our own opinons but let's not be mean about them. Posted by Lissa1213[/QUOTE]

Lissa, I dont get you logic. Its rather irresponsible to plan a dw in a foreign country without researching all the requirements of said marriage, no?
Schitt happens=damn, I locked my keys in the car.
Schitt happens </> i totally didn't realize the marriage requirements before booking my nonrefundable DW.

Lissa1213 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:d27ff2e7-0f2f-4349-8a41-29870acc0a84">Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding: Lissa, I dont get you logic. Its rather irresponsible to plan a dw in a foreign country without researching all the requirements of said marriage, no? Schitt happensdamn, I locked my keys in the car. Schitt happens i totally didn't realize the marriage requirements before booking my nonrefundable DW. Oopsie ;
Posted by LiLe422[/QUOTE]

We don't even know if that is the reason OP is choosing to get married before going to Mexico. And I did state that I agree. I am having a DW and I made sure of all the marriage requirments before booking.

renegade gaucho · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:4bae3592-1c20-4544-b7ee-f0b850208f16">Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding : I couldn't help but laught at this. You'd be suprised how many people don't know about the legal requirements here even when working with a wedding planner. It happens more than you think. I once spoke to a planner who said the day of the wedding right before she walks down the aisle, she says "So when do I get my marriage license? Or is it not necessary?" True story. But that's a story for a whole different thread! LOL
Posted by TerriHugg[/QUOTE]

That's a different situation than what you described above, where the destination wedding planner advises people to get legally married in their home country before having the fake ceremony in the destination country. I understand that some people are not aware of the legal requirements for marriage here. The difference is that it's not standard practice for American wedding planners to actively advise customers not to bother with the paperwork for the big pretty princess day because they can just go to the JOP at some point.

TerriHugg · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:a6bf344f-98a6-4698-aece-1bcd3a3fc0e7">Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding : That's a different situation than what you described above, where the destination wedding planner advises people to get legally married in their home country before having the fake ceremony in the destination country. I understand that some people are not aware of the legal requirements for marriage here. The difference is that it's not standard practice for American wedding planners to actively advise customers not to bother with the paperwork for the big pretty princess day because they can just go to the JOP at some point.
Posted by renegade gaucho[/QUOTE]

<div>This wasn't exactly what I was saying either. We are completely missing each other's points. I think we may just have to agree to disagree on this one, which is totally fine. </div><div>
</div><div>Regardless, while I agree that it is essentially poor etiquette to have a legal ceremony here and then a symcolic ceremony in Mexico, I'd prefer to hear the OP's reasoning for such choice before I jump to conclusions. </div>

KnotIrene · March 2013

I want to compliment you all for the way you've handled yourselves in this heated thread! You've said the idea was not good but have not personally attacked the OP. Kudos!!

AddieCake · March 2013

Thanks, KI!

AdeleDazeem · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:f82a18e1-22b2-4fcb-ac45-9ee83f5144db">Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I want to compliment you all for the way you've handled yourselves in this heated thread! You've said the idea was not good but have not personally attacked the OP. Kudos!!
Posted by Knot Irene[/QUOTE]

Well... those are the rules, no?

I may have come the closest to the line so I do apologize if I went too close :-)

Peledreamsofrain · March 2013

A big floofy white dress makes a marriage more real than a document that grants you more than 1,500 legal rights? Really? Can you honestly say that a peice of clothing and a party means more to you than being able to stay by your husband's side if he's dying? That your floofy white dress means more to you than being able to make medical decisions for him if he is unable to, instead of some estranged family member stepping in and pulling the plug on him without your consent? Really? Your party means more? Really?

No sane person loves parties that much. The party is just trimmings. Have your legal marriage in the USA if Mexico is so difficult. Even have your family around you (That is sentimental and beautiful.). You can exchange vows at a JOP wedding, it's not like you're on a conveyor belt and they kick you out in a time limit.

Then go to Mexico, have a fabulous honeymoon, and save your family and friends money. Their money is not your toy. You don't play with it. It's their food, thier shelter, their clothing, thier lives.

Lissa1213 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:7ee8c874-37c8-43e4-99e1-757dfb9fbe93">Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, shvit happens. And adults deal with it. They change plans, make choices, accept consequences. If I had my way, everyone who made any sort of flippant comment about what it "means to be married" that disregarded the legal aspect would be forced to live 3 years as a cohabiting unmarried couple, in a state with no DP laws or protections. Then tell me about how it's the looking into your husband's eyes that makes your marriage real.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Look I wasn't trying to start anything with you or anyone else on this board, I was simply taking up for someone giving their opinion.
BTW FI and I have been living together for a couple of years now, we both have seperate insurance plans through our employers and the only benefit that we reap is not having to pay two sets of utilities. As I stated over and over I don't agree with what the OP is doing.

KnotIrene · March 2013

Yes, and you're fine Joy.

TerriHugg · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:7ee8c874-37c8-43e4-99e1-757dfb9fbe93">Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, shvit happens. And adults deal with it. They change plans, make choices, accept consequences. If I had my way, everyone who made any sort of flippant comment about what it "means to be married" that disregarded the legal aspect would be forced to live 3 years as a cohabiting unmarried couple, in a state with no DP laws or protections. Then tell me about how it's the looking into your husband's eyes that makes your marriage real.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I have to say that I love your passion behind your ideals. A lot of people agree with you. However, I've come to realize that not everyone shares the same sentiment. </div><div>
</div><div>There are actually people who do define marriage "as looking into their husbands eyes" and would be happy with the scenario you painted. There are others who don't consider themselves married unless it is recognized by whatever religion they practice. There are those who believe that marriage is just about signing the certificate and making it legal. There are those who don't consider themselves married until they have that opportunity to say their own vows to each other. And then there are those who don't consider it a marriage until all of the above mentioned aspects are present. I think that's why I like to be careful before I call something a "fake wedding" until I hear their reasonings behind it. Sometimes, it is a fake wedding and a person being extremely selfish and sometimes it really is more about their belief system.</div><div>
</div><div>But I really do love how passionate you are about the subject. It is so important to be passionate about our beliefs and continue to live by them. So kudos to you for sticking to your guns. I may not agree with it in its entirety, but I certainly admire the gumption and the thought process. </div>

Lissa1213 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:5147ed06-3d27-4a83-9f79-f8756ac59892">Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding: What does this have to do with anything? It makes no sense in the context of this discussion.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

DP Laws? lol sorry I thought this would have to do with medical benefits and privacy acts. Ooops

peekaboo2011 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:e7422c27-adf6-45bc-b0ed-53b89e842069">Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding : DP Laws? lol sorry I thought this would have to do with medical benefits and privacy acts. Ooops
Posted by Lissa1213[/QUOTE]

<div>In a way it does. But not everyone has medical benefits through their employer, and often insurance is used as an excuse to get married. </div>

winelover123 · March 2013

I'm going to feel married after I'm....well, married. I look into FI's eyes everyday and tell him I love him. When we get disgustingly cute, I look into his eyes and tell him that I promise to be by his side for the rest of my life, which is essentially a vow. Doesn't mean we're married and it doesn't make me feel married. I'll be married after I sign the paper which recognizes us as legally wed.

I know that you weren't trying to start anything Lissa, but saying that you don't consider yourself wed until you say your vows to your FI just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I get the sentiment behind it, but the legal aspect of marriage is just as important as the emotional aspect.

ETA: wow ya'll type quickly!

Lissa1213 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:45e2526d-a4c5-40c3-a828-1a8e0aacb811">Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to feel married after I'm....well, married. I look into FI's eyes everyday and tell him I love him. When we get disgustingly cute, I look into his eyes and tell him that I promise to be by his side for the rest of my life, which is essentially a vow. Doesn't mean we're married and it doesn't make me feel married. I'll be married after I sign the paper which recognizes us as legally wed<strong>. I know that you weren't trying to start anything Lissa, but saying that you don't consider yourself wed until you say your vows to your FI just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I get the sentiment behind it, but the legal aspect of marriage is just as important as the emotional aspect.</strong>
Posted by winelover123[/QUOTE]

I get that and understand. I was totally and completely referring to myself here though, I know that there are several legalities that go along with the marriage license as well. I just won't feel married until we are saying our vows to each other, or least until I file my taxes (just kidding).
But no I do get where everyone is coming from. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

Lissa1213 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:23b06349-d9bb-4e97-90a8-a71727e37ba2">Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding: No it has to do with being able to rent any place you choose, being able to have joint insurance for your car or home, not having to lie to potential employers about cohabiting, not fearing that if your loved one is hit by a drunk driver, you will be barred from even SEEING them in the hospital, let alone not be consulted on when to turn off the life support. These are just a few of the everyday issues that can face cohabiting straight couples. It doesn't even scratch the surface of the issues gay couples face.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Got it.... I don't get why anyone would have to lie to their employers aout cohabiting though?

Lissa1213 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:65f6c60a-4ee5-4810-9263-1cafcfd5875f">Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Because if you apply for a job with a "morality clause" it is grounds for termination.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Oh wow, is that even legal? I haven't ever seen anything like this or even heard of it.

lisabeats · March 2013

I didn't have a legal issue, but I know personally when applying and interviewing for jobs, marital status could have played a role. I was looking to work in pretty traditional and conservative areas, so even if there wasn't legal recource to take, I was very concerned about how my decisions to cohabitate would be viewed by my potential bosses and coworkers.

Obviously, not the same thing as lecal action, but it's just another aspect that was somewhat challenging when deciding whether or not to cohabitate before getting married.

Lissa1213 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:419a3248-c856-44bc-ba29-ddc48613f3fe">Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding: Yes it is, except in specific instances where an individual is protected by law. For example, a black person can be guaranteed to be given the same consideration in a job interview thanks to legal protections. A homosexual or heterosexual "living in sin" cannot, because the company has the right to assert that those things can affect job performance. THIS is why I am so passionate about this subject. Because your average heterosexual adult has no CLUE how many benefits they get from marriage. They are largely things they have never even considered COULD be an issue because they have never known anyone who has had to face most of these issues. It's a given. It's just how it is.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Well thank you for informing me. To be honest this is something that I didn't really know about. Hopefully others will see this post as well and be a bit more enlightened.

pumpkin314159 · March 2013

I know this is getting way off topic from the OP, but I wanted to say thanks to Stage and Renegade and everyone else who's helping to shine a light on the privilege enjoyed by married and straight couples. As a person in a same sex relationship in a very red state, where I have to obfuscate or lie on a daily basis to protect my job, it's extremely heartening to hear such tireless enthusiasm for equality. Thank you, thank you. You are not only mavens of etiquette, but advocates for self reflection and equal rights.

TKzilla · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:68bb30d7-6565-4682-a80a-04688aca404c">Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this is getting way off topic from the OP, but I wanted to say thanks to Stage and Renegade and everyone else who's helping to shine a light on the privilege enjoyed by married and straight couples. As a person in a same sex relationship in a very red state, where I have to obfuscate or lie on a daily basis to protect my job, it's extremely heartening to hear such tireless enthusiasm for equality. Thank you, thank you. You are not only mavens of etiquette, but advocates for self reflection and equal rights.
Posted by pumpkin314159[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto. Pumpkin got to give Stage kudos before I did. </div><div>
</div><div>Pumpkin, I wish you all the best in life :)</div>

KnotIrene · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:68bb30d7-6565-4682-a80a-04688aca404c">Re:Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this is getting way off topic from the OP, but I wanted to say thanks to Stage and Renegade and everyone else who's helping to shine a light on the privilege enjoyed by married and straight couples. As a person in a same sex relationship in a very red state, where I have to obfuscate or lie on a daily basis to protect my job, it's extremely heartening to hear such tireless enthusiasm for equality. Thank you, thank you. You are not only mavens of etiquette, but advocates for self reflection and equal rights.
Posted by pumpkin314159[/QUOTE]
Wow, mavens of etiquette!! Well deserved recogntion! And I totally agree with you, pumpkin, we have some wonderfull people here.

kmbryant2413 · March 2013

I'm just going to pop in this thread and echo KI, pumpkin, and Courtania. This was a gracefully handled working-through of several different topics in one thread. Snaps and kudos to all!

bertasha2014 · March 2013

Wow did not expect so much negativity. I'm not selfish or any of the other things posted quite the opposite. Also I did all my research ahead of time, we got engaged where we are going to have the ceremony in Mexico. For private reasons which I don't feel the need to publicize here we are having a ceremony in Mexico but will be legally married at home. There is a cost of $500 to get blood work to marry in mexico and ceremony is much more if its legal there. I really enjoyed this site when a new bride referred me (whose sister did what we did in terms of legal wedding in canada and ceremony in Mexico) but now I feel insulted.

kmbryant2413 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:220ef7b4-8ece-4535-a02b-f0441be5aa45">Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow did not expect so much negativity. I'm not selfish or any of the other things posted quite the opposite. Also I did all my research ahead of time, we got engaged where we are going to have the ceremony in Mexico. For private reasons which I don't feel the need to publicize here we are having a ceremony in Mexico but will be legally married at home. There is a cost of $500 to get blood work to marry in mexico and ceremony is much more if its legal there. I really enjoyed this site when a new bride referred me (whose sister did what we did in terms of legal wedding in canada and ceremony in Mexico) but now I feel insulted.
Posted by bertasha2014[/QUOTE]

<div>So sorry that you feel insulted, these ladies work very hard not to offend, but only to offer unbiased, etiquette-based advice. They are not necessarily opinions, they are based on simply etiquette. Best of luck on your ceremony!</div>

artbyallie · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prepost-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a2b9b39e-17be-4402-bdc0-c0d38b2e5bb8Post:220ef7b4-8ece-4535-a02b-f0441be5aa45">Re: Pre/post party for destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow did not expect so much negativity. I'm not selfish or any of the other things posted quite the opposite. Also I did all my research ahead of time, we got engaged where we are going to have the ceremony in Mexico. For private reasons which I don't feel the need to publicize here we are having a ceremony in Mexico but will be legally married at home. There is a cost of $500 to get blood work to marry in mexico and ceremony is much more if its legal there. I really enjoyed this site when a new bride referred me (whose sister did what we did in terms of legal wedding in canada and ceremony in Mexico) but now I feel insulted.
Posted by bertasha2014[/QUOTE]

<div>Can you just have your honeymoon in Mexico instead? Because really, it's just a vacation since you can't get legally married and no one will be there to witness it anyway. Also, I saw no negativity and in fact saw multiple people complimenting posters on how polite they were being.</div>

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