WWYD-engagement ring (Long, sorry.)

saxy414 · July 2010

I need some help here--FI isn't helping because he's just mad, and my parents have gone the "whatever you feel you need to do" route.

I got my engagement ring in March, and it was custom made by a small, local jeweler that my mom recommended because she's all about the local businesses. It made the most sense at the time, because I had my own diamonds from family rings, and with them being local, we felt we could completely trust them with our diamonds.

First of all, they said they would call when they had the mold made, and I could approve it. They did not, but when I got my ring, I was so excited it didn't matter. Looking back, there are a couple things I would have changed, but whatever. That's over and done with. I would just feel weird bringing up things 4 months later that I should have said when I got the ring originally.

Two weeks after I got it, it started breaking my finger out in a rash. I know I have a nickel allergy, but I had never had a problem with white gold before this ring, andplusalso, it's rhodium coated, so it should be ok, right? We've been going back and forth with the jeweler since April trying to fix it so I can wear my ring everyday with no problem--it's been re-coated in rhodium, the inside has been coated in yellow gold, and now it has been laquered (which is, I guess, just coated in clear nail polish). If I still have problems, their next idea would be to make a "sleeve" out of yellow gold to put inside the ring, which would basically be like wearing a yellow gold ring inside of my white gold ring. I have two problems with this: 1. It would make an already too-thick for my liking ring thicker (something I would have pointed out if they had called me to approve the mold), and 2. I would imagine you would be able to see the yellow gold from the side of the ring.

Fast forward to today: I go into another jeweler in town (a national jeweler) to look at the wedding bands they have and get an idea. They offer to clean my ring for me, and when they put it in the steamer, two of my side diamonds pop out. When the guy inspects it further, it turns out there are other side diamonds that are loose or just held in with one prong, and my center stone is loose as well. The last time I went into the small, local jeweler, I told them that, and apparently they did not do anything to fix it. I have been to this small jeweler probably 7-8 times in the last 4 months--why hasn't this been taken care of?

So, how do I handle this? I am definitely at my wit's end with the local jeweler. But, my conflict is that they were really nice and tried so hard to fix my ring so I could wear it--but I don't like their next solution of the gold sleeve, and especially not now that the diamonds are loose (including the center stone that I pointed out to them and they still didn't fix), and two came out. There are also the issues I have stemming from when they didn't call me to check it out before they made it at the beginning.

I guess my issue overall is that I'm not a confrontational person, and I'm a pretty big wimp when it comes to standing up for myself in situations like this. I'm not happy with my ring, so do I ask for my money back? Chalk it up to a bad experience and move on? Continue with the small jeweler and hope they will fix it?

I'm really trying not to sound like a whiny baby here. I kept my mouth shut for a couple months because I didn't want to sound ungrateful or ridiculous for complaining about having a beautiful diamond ring. If it matters, I completely designed the ring myself and FI and I paid for it together--I'm not bashing something my wonderful FI planned and gave to me.

Cliff notes: I've had all kinds of problems with my e-ring: the jeweler didn't call to get the final design approved by me, breaking me out in a rash, and now the diamonds are loose and falling out. It's a 4 month old ring. It's a small, local jeweler who has done a lot to help me wear it without breaking my finger out, but I'm frustrated because of the workmanship flaws. What do I do?

saxy414 · July 2010

Holy cow, that was much longer than I thought it was. If you read all of that...I'll give you a cookie.

gottahavashorti · July 2010

I've read before that white gold sometimes has nickel in it since it's an alloy. I've never had a problem with it in my rings, for some reason.

I don't think I'd throw a fit over it or anything, but I would bring the issues to their attention. Is your FI more confrontational than you?

Would it set you back too much to have a new setting made? I'd consult with the jewelers first about whether they have any metals that don't use nickel in the alloy, though, since none of the solutions seem to work for you.

golden1215 · July 2010

ohhh sucky. I wouldnt have been too mad about them not calling but the loose stones is TOTALLY unacceptable. What if next time they come out in the shower and go down the drain? Not only are you out a diamond but a family heirloom.

I would go with the larger jeweler and ask for at least some of your money back from the small jeweler. Do it in writing if you have a hard time doing it face to face.

saxy414 · July 2010

I have read that about white gold, also, but we asked a while ago at the small jeweler and they said they have hypoallergenic white gold, and it has very little nickel in it. If I wear hypoallergenic earrings I don't have any problem, and I do have the same break-out problem all over my body (it's really awesome, as you can probably tell.) I have also worn earrings and rings made from white gold in the past, and not had a problem. I'll definitely ask them if there is anything they have that doesn't have nickel in at all, though.

And it would suck to have a new setting made, but FI and I have talked about as a last resort. I just want a ring to wear everyday, you know?

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

Yay cookie!

I think you need to call it quits with the local jeweler, they've had way too many chances. Get your diamonds and as much of your money back as you can, and start over with a new jeweler. It's a pity you're not local, there's a chain of jewelrs out here that are fantastic, they did great work on my wedding band (though it doesn't look like mine was molded, from what I can tell the braided metal work on it was done by hand).

frenchy730 · July 2010

Just stop going to that jeweler. Find another one. Hopefully that will solve your problem!

saxy414 · July 2010

Thanks ladies, I really appreciate the outside opinions. I have to head out now for dinner, but I'll check back later.

banana468 · July 2010

Stop using that jeweler. I'd talk to the knotties on your local board and see if they recommend a different jeweler or go with the one you saw.

As PPs said, white gold is an alloy so it may have nickel in it. They may have also added more than they originally stated or used a different metal that triggers an allergic reaction.

With your reactions, I'd stay clear of white gold if I were you. You're going to have to keep having it re-plated in rhodium all the time. Instead, when it comes to your wedding band, I'd go with palladium which is lower in cost than platinum but acts similarly.

Then, work with the good jeweler to fix your ring. I'd have them assess the situation of what was done to it and what needs to be fixed. I'd ask for at least the cost to fix it BACK from the small local jeweler at min. After four months, you shouldn't have loose stones or stones falling out - BUT I'd get another opinion before you go with the big chain. You never know if they did stuff to your ring just to try to hook you into buying your wedding bands there.

If you have metal questions, let me know. DH has a degree in metallurgy and materials enginnering and he's taught me well on my jewelery metals. :-)

saxy414 · July 2010

Thanks so much, Banana! I had the same concern about the big jeweler (I'm pretty sure I was just being paranoid), so it definitely wouldn't hurt to get another opinion or two, and I'll be sure to ask about palladium. :-)

tldh · July 2010

Saxy -

I would stop going to this jeweler. It may be the same one family and friends in Cincinnati have suddenly had a lot of trouble with and we'd been going to them for more than 30 years. In fact, I had considered having them make my e-ring.

Can you PM me the name of the jeweler. I have a suspicion as to which one it is but would really like to know.

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

I second the suggestion for palladium! All three of our rings are palladium and I lurve it. My custom wedding band was just under $1K including the metal, three small diamonds, and labor.

saxy414 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wwyd-engagement-ring-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0d093767-d530-49f3-9cf5-278198a4afd1Post:254eec4f-46f2-4cc3-a758-9e298825643f">Re: WWYD-engagement ring (Long, sorry.)</a>:
[QUOTE]Saxy - I would stop going to this jeweler. It may be the same one family and friends in Cincinnati have suddenly had a lot of trouble with and we'd been going to them for more than 30 years. In fact, I had considered having them make my e-ring. Can you PM me the name of the jeweler. I have a suspicion as to which one it is but would really like to know.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

Thanks to Knot glitches, I can't PM you--but it starts with a B, and it's way over on the west side where I live. In fact, almost to Indiana, I'm so far west. :-)

And I'm currently researching palladium and looking for jewelers in Cincinnati that have it, so hopefully I can jump on the palladium bandwagon, too!

baystateapple · July 2010

I'm in exactly the same boat as you -- my FI used family diamonds to have my ring created, and I developed an allergy to the nickel in the white gold, too.

Stop going to that jeweler ASAP. I don't think you can really get back the money that you spent on the ring that they did a poor job on, but what I would do is write them a letter explaining that you're dissatisfied with their services. If you want to take it higher, you can contact the Better Business Bureau and file a complaint. I agree that the complaint about not calling you isn't too big a deal, but the diamonds popping out absolutely are, and you should not risk going back to that original jeweler.

Sorry about all this crap. I know I'd feel the same way if something like that happened to my ring!

suz62984 · July 2010

Enough is enough with the local jeweler. They tried and failed. The fact is that diamonds keep popping out and the setting needs to be changed. Cut your loses and get a new mold, with matching band, from another store. You will have to eat that money that you originally spent but I think it is worth it seeing that you can't wear your ring everyday due to allergy and your diamonds pop out. What is the worst that could happen if you ask for your money back? They say NO? Try and see if they give it back. Good Luck.

Also, I heard that Zales is struggling to stay in business. If you get your ring mold/band from that national chain just know that the "insurance" will be void if they go out of business.

saxy414 · July 2010

Thanks everybody :-)

Baystate--what did you end up doing with your ring?

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wwyd-engagement-ring-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0d093767-d530-49f3-9cf5-278198a4afd1Post:98af4673-85bd-46c4-b49f-20ad62c0c8bc">Re: WWYD-engagement ring (Long, sorry.)</a>:
[QUOTE] Also, I heard that Zales is struggling to stay in business. If you get your ring mold/band from that national chain just know that the "insurance" will be void if they go out of business.
Posted by suz62984[/QUOTE]
Maybe, but not necessarily. Robbins Bros. shut down all of their locations outside of California, but Helzberg Diamonds took over all of their lifetime warranties for people who'd bought from said locations. It may be that RB is just exceptionally awesome and it's definitely worth being careful, but it's not intriniscally a disaster situation.

gottahavashorti · July 2010

FWIW, one of my friends works for one of the nicer jewelers within commuting distance from our town. She's told me before that prongs should be checked every 3 months, but most people don't actually get them checked anywhere near that often. I do think that if you're having so many problems with your stones being loose and haven't been wearing your rings while getting your hands banged around though, I'd wonder if it was a setting issue.

suz62984 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wwyd-engagement-ring-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:0d093767-d530-49f3-9cf5-278198a4afd1Post:25e0a7fb-061f-4357-a7bc-0ab13ff01319">Re: WWYD-engagement ring (Long, sorry.)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: WWYD-engagement ring (Long, sorry.) : Maybe, but not necessarily. Robbins Bros. shut down all of their locations outside of California, but Helzberg Diamonds took over all of their lifetime warranties for people who'd bought from said locations. It may be that RB is just exceptionally awesome and it's definitely worth being careful, but it's not intriniscally a disaster situation.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

That would be good if Zales would offer something like that. My ring is from there and after asking a few different stores everybody said that the insurance wouldn't be honored. However, according to Forbes they have another big corporation sinking money into Zales to keep them alive. Let's hope they can work out a deal on insurance in the case that they do go out of business.

noodle_oo · July 2010

I haven't read all the posts, so sorry if I repeat.

Holy wow batman! This local jeweler SUCKS. They sold you a ring where the diamonds are loose? After all the issues you have had, I say CUT ALL TIES WITH THIS JEWELER. And yes, I'd be mad. What if your center stone had fallen out and gotten lost? Or any of the other diamonds? You are lucky they fell out in a place where they were found easily.

So my advice is this:

1) don't go back to local jeweler unless only to ask for your money back. Do not let them continue to work on your ring. (they actually dipped it in laquer? That seems insane).

2) sounds like you will have problems no matter what wtih the white gold (unless they just used a really cheap white gold, which is possible given their other mistakes). I'd have the ring reset in palladium or platinum if you can afford it or just yellow gold if you don't mind it.

3) definitely take it to a NEW JEWELER, preferable one that has a really good reputation. ask your local board.

Good luck! That's so sad that you can't wear your ring. These types of situations just suck.

PS. I wouldn't blame the big jewelry store you went and had them cleaned at. Stones properly set would not have fallen out with cleaning, especially after just 4 months. The local jeweler did a very poor job.

Beachy730 · July 2010

I would definitely ditch the local jeweler. Like PPs said you can always write a letter to them explaining the situation if its easier for you. I've never been one to complain at stores, so I would probably go with writing it if I were in your situation.

i have heard many times that Zales is closing. A lot of their stores that I know of have closed. We were told at Kay's that they were trying to be bought out by other companies (since so many of them are like sister stores or something) but having a very hard time finding someone to buy them out since they also own Piercing Pagoda and a lot of stores don't want that line. Thats what we were told in November, don't know how true it still is.

We went to Kay's for my e-ring and our wedding bands and have had great experiences with them. FI is in the military so a life of many moves and different states is in our cards. We went with them since they are all thoughout the country. They also own Jared's and another chain that I can't remember, so if one went out of business you probably could go to another one, not positive on that though.

I can only speak of my experience with buying new jewelery from them, so I don't know how they are with building or desinging your ring. I know they have different settings to choose from though in the stores. I would talk to the chain store you went to and see what they can do. Ditto PPs about asking for recs on your local board. Check with a couple places to see the difference in cost and their willingness to work with you on it.

P.S.- I want my cookie!

RebeccaB88 · July 2010

I have a nickel allergy, and was told by my dermatologist that white gold, regardless of amount of nickel content, is not safe and you will react to it. Along the same lines, having that gold dipped, sealed, plated, whatever they tell you they will do, is also not safe, because it will all wear off. Your only choice is to get a new ring made with completely nickel-free materials. I got mine made with palladium and love it, have no problems with allergies.

saxy414 · July 2010

All the advice and opinions are awesome! FI and I went to another jeweler yesterday, and we're going to check out another tomorrow. I also looked at palladium rings yesterday, and it's something we're definitely considering. Our local jeweler is closed on Mondays, so I think we're going to see what we can do about getting any money back a little later this week.

I really appreciate all your posts!

WWYD-engagement ring (Long, sorry.)

Re: WWYD-engagement ring (Long, sorry.)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards