I'm writing this as a public service for all of us! Obviously, it is a bit of a rant, but I'm trying to do it as diplomatically as possible. I originally wanted to write an article called "how to be a good guest at a wedding" but went with the nicer version! Yes - all of this has happened.
Dear Guests,
We are honored that you are willing to be part of our celebration and are as excited are about our pending marriage as we are. It will be a wonderful, happy, and perfect day because at the end of the celebration, we are marrying the person we love more than life itself.
We are respectfully making a few requests that will cause less stress for the bride and groom. As we all know, there are a million details that go into planning a wedding. While we understand that although the wedding is priority 1 for us, you all have busy lives, and this becomes one more detail in yours.
Please note that we have a limited amount of space and money for this celebration. And we have deadlines we need to meet to pull this off. Oh how we wish we could have a kardashianeque bash, but alas, we can't (and that didn't turn out so great anyway).
First, please respond to your RSVP card by the time requested on it. We have to tell the caterer, venue, and rental companies how many guests will be there so they can coordinate their schedules and suppliers. It is a pain, but please, send back the card. We will make a followup attempt to confirm if you are accepting or declining our invitation. If you misplaced the RSVP card, an email is just fine! Or a text! We are easy on this.
Regarding space. We would like to invite everyone and their children, friends, and extended family, but we simply can't fit additional people in the church and reception hall. Please don't add guests without calling us first. We will do everything we can to accomodate you if possible, but with additional guests, we are met with additional costs for food, rental chairs, dinnerware, etc. Please also know that some venues do not allow children to attend if they are under 18. This is something we can't change so please don't ask us to move the reception to another place so your children can attend. We are not able to do this. Perhaps you could find a babysitter for a couple of hours?
When asking if you can bring 3 or 4 or 6 additional people, please understand that it is kind of weird to have people come to a wedding that the couple getting married don't know or have met once. We sent the invitation with a +1 so you could bring a date. Please don't invite additional people to make you feel comfortable. That will make us feel awkward when we have to be introduced to a tableful of people we don't know.
We have made every effort to plan a menu that will be appreciated by all. Unfortunately, we can not serve individual meals. If you have special food requirements, please contact us early and we can find out if that specific ingrediant will be present in any of the food options. If so, we will make you aware of it so you can avoid that specific dish. We wish we could have a more extensive menu, but we are trying to stay within our budget.
Because we have had so many additional people we did not initially invite tell us they are coming to our wedding, we had to make cuts elsewhere. That means we will not have an open bar. We are doing our best to still serve wine, beer and champagne at the toast. Please don't call us and tell us that we are cheap not having a full bar. We are more than willing to reconsider if you are more than willing to offer to pay for it. However, we think our guests will have a great time without the need of alcohol.
We chose the venue for the reception because we found it fit with our needs for our wedding. We apologize for the location of the parking lot, but that is out of our control. Perhaps you could bring a more comfortable pair of shoes?
The colors we chose for the wedding have special meaning to us. Again, we are sorry if that shade of blue clashes with your dress. All of our decorations have already been prepared so we cannot change the colors now.
Please don't ask if you can come early and just hang out until the ceremony. We would both like to have the morning to get ready and not have to worry about entertaining you. If you need a place to be before the ceremony begins, google the area and see if anything strikes your fancy!
Thank you all again.
Bride and Groom