Just a warning this is about Sex .... with that said .... FI and I are waiting for each other....But we did not wait in the past. [I have a kid obviously] His experiance is less then mine which is fine but I think he is super freaked out about it and says he isnt sure he will be comfortable even after we are married. We already said wedding night is off the table. Which is fine we willl be tired and all that I totally get it .... But he said he cant gurantee it on the honeymoon ... [Side note it's nice to know my purchases at Victoria Secret are now going to waste away]
He waited about 3 months to kiss me... Once he did it was hot n heavy for awhile... latly i feel that with the stress of finding new jobs and a house it's just turned to pecks on the lips and that is it ... I tried asking him why he hasnt made out with me latly and he says " He isnt in the mood" ... He says his "drive" for that type of thing is super low and he is more then content without it . This kinda hurts my feelings that he is basically saying later on it will be take it or leave it and that type of physical intimacy does nothing for him ... I kinda dont understand how he can know what a Godly based marriage is but yet say he isnt going to be interested in it and never has been , when clearly we will have the green light for such.
I know this type of talk will come up in counseling which starts in a few weeks but he alreayd said he is going to give yes and no answers when the pastor starts talking about it ..
I really feel like he gets the wrong impression about sex because of what non-christians do with it ... If that makes any sense... Between that he and what he claims is a low drive and lack of interest..
I'm studying to be a nurse soon and I looked up some stuff about stress and that type of situation but he says it's always been like this...
He says he wants kids....So i'm a lil confused on how he thinks we will get there if it isnt something he wants to do .
I know people who wait say it can be rough to start out with and I think it freaks him out that he wont do things right and it will be a mess and not what it's sapose to be.. I've tried telling him this is normal and you have ur whole life to make it work out right ...
Anybody have any ideas from a christian perspective or a book i can hand him ? Everything he's heard about sex is from the non biblical standpoint ... Size matters... and it's all up to the guy to be "good".... I dont know how to tell him that's NOT how it's sapose to work with a Godly marriage....