Suicide Workshop at work today and I have a question for you based on it (possibly morbid)

ZombieNates · March 2012

We have a suicide-prevention workshop at work at least every couple of years, per state mandate. The social worker leads it and he usually gives an interesting presentation.

This time, he said that many, many people have comtemplated suicide at one time or another. I was really curious about this and wondered how many people actually seriously considered suicide before.

Obviously, you can just answer the poll without any further elaboration (or you can elaborate if you wish). I don't want to be intrusive, but I'm curious about it because, dealing with kids all day, I wonder how many people really think about it. I will give my answer afterward.

Nindakay · March 2012

Clarify: Seriously as in "I really may do this" or just something more than a fleeting thought?

ZombieNates · March 2012

Well, I guess either really. If you ever consider suicide as a viable option to a problem, then answer yes.

SEWF · March 2012

I thought about it in high school when my "friends" ended up not being actual friends. It was always more of a fleeting thought, I never seriously planned anything, but I did think about it a bit.

Wiscisbliss · March 2012

I had severe depression for years and thought of it often... I still have fleeting thoughts weekly, but that is a major improvement over serious thoughts multiple times an hour.

There is a big difference between "Oh I wish I were dead" and "I'm going to XYZ store to buy a pistol" or "I bet this bottle of vodka, bottle of painkillers, and everything else in my medicine cabinet would do it."

ZombieNates · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_suicide-workshop-at-work-today-and-i-have-a-question-for-you-based-on-it-possibly-morbid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c76393f5-0b7b-45b7-95f1-cbd739f32cf6Post:7e6a2e56-8660-45a1-a143-45f131345f09">Re: Suicide Workshop at work today and I have a question for you based on it (possibly morbid)</a>:
[QUOTE]I had severe depression for years and thought of it often... I still have fleeting thoughts weekly, but that is a major improvement over serious thoughts multiple times an hour. There is a big difference between "Oh I wish I were dead" and "I'm going to XYZ store to buy a pistol" or "I bet this bottle of vodka, bottle of painkillers, and everything else in my medicine cabinet would do it."
Posted by Wiscisbliss[/QUOTE]
Very true.

Not too long ago, when my mom had all of her shiit going on, she told me that she wished she were dead most of the time. I was pretty shocked (I guess you don't think of your mom like that, kwim?). Although she didn't necessarily have the intent, she definitely had suicidal tendencies.

For myself, I've thought of it only in terms of "That would teach so and so." I mean, it's a bad train of thought to have and not healthy at all, but I've never really considered taking steps to end my life.

dubird · March 2012

Fleeting thoughts more than anything else, though there was a time where I had a very strong urge to just load up my car and drive away from the life I did have. Just leave and never come back.

ZombieNates · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_suicide-workshop-at-work-today-and-i-have-a-question-for-you-based-on-it-possibly-morbid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c76393f5-0b7b-45b7-95f1-cbd739f32cf6Post:4c3a28e4-14ed-495b-92c8-cb55d9ea3a5b">Re: Suicide Workshop at work today and I have a question for you based on it (possibly morbid)</a>:
[QUOTE]Fleeting thoughts more than anything else, though there was a time where I had a very strong urge to just load up my car and drive away from the life I did have. Just leave and never come back.
Posted by dubird[/QUOTE]
Oh man, I think this all the time. Like, just pack the dog and husband and leave everything else behind and start all over.

Wiscisbliss · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_suicide-workshop-at-work-today-and-i-have-a-question-for-you-based-on-it-possibly-morbid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c76393f5-0b7b-45b7-95f1-cbd739f32cf6Post:7cb4f7e7-043c-4cfe-bbbc-003328005fc2">Re: Suicide Workshop at work today and I have a question for you based on it (possibly morbid)</a>:
[QUOTE]When I was in fifth/sixth grade, I was bullied to the point where I cut myself. One time. then it got so bad that my parents sent me to the hospital for a week. But I think it was more of a "I want to get away from the bullying" and less of "I want to kill myself". So I guess I consider it a fleeting moment for myself. I was on Wellbutrin for awhile after that.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

<div>This is where I landed a lot of the time. A nice long stay in a psych ward at the hospital sounded much more appealing than life. </div>

Nindakay · March 2012

I have thought about it (honestly I think most of us have) at some point....several times in my life. I have chronic migraines, and live in pain every day of my llife. It would be so wonderful to not be in pain anymore. However, I answered "no" though because I never really thought of it as a viable option to get rid of my problems - mostly because I know it would be so hard on everyone I know if anything like that ever happened!

LP11509 · March 2012

In high school, I had a really bad problem with headaches. I had gone to tons of specialists, tried tons of medication, etc and nothing was working.

One day I told my guidance counselor that I wondered if taking an entire bottle of ibuprofen would help. She interpreted it as a suicide threat and told me she was required to call my parents, which she did. My mom had to leave work to come to school after getting a call that I was suicidal (which I wasn't).

I managed to escape being hospitalized, but I was forced to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. During the appointment I explained what happened, and he told me I was fine and I didn't have to go back again.

I get that the counselor was covering her ass, but my poor mom was freaking the eff out until I was able to explain what had happened when she arrived.

allisong23 · March 2012

My grandmother announced that she wanted to kill herself in front of a room full of small children last week.

My 93 year old Nana is in a nursing home, and just found out she will not be returning home. My cousin is a preschool teacher down the street from where she is and she brought her 4 year olds to visit Nana to cheer her up.

Nana asked if the windows opened up. My cousin replied that no, they don't open. Nana said, in front of the kids, "That's too bad. I wanted to get you to open them up so I could jump out and kill myself".

The kids were horrified. That's my grandmotrher, though. There was turkey vulture flying outside the sitting room. She said it was waiting for a slow moving resident.

Girlie1030 · March 2012

I have, more recently and more frequently than I'd like to admit. Though I'm doing fine now, it's scary to know I can get that low.

Wiscisbliss · March 2012

alli - I've heard that many psychologists believe that the suicide rate among seniors is much higher than reported. Really, who investigates the death of a 90+ year old? Families and doctors just assume it was time.

I hope your Nana feels better soon.

ZombieNates · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_suicide-workshop-at-work-today-and-i-have-a-question-for-you-based-on-it-possibly-morbid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c76393f5-0b7b-45b7-95f1-cbd739f32cf6Post:4a15e1e4-9809-49dd-9d48-ac6da0dc57ec">Re: Suicide Workshop at work today and I have a question for you based on it (possibly morbid)</a>:
[QUOTE]My grandmother announced that she wanted to kill herself in front of a room full of small children last week. My 93 year old Nana is in a nursing home, and just found out she will not be returning home. My cousin is a preschool teacher down the street from where she is and she brought her 4 year olds to visit Nana to cheer her up. Nana asked if the windows opened up. My cousin replied that no, they don't open. Nana said, in front of the kids, "That's too bad. I wanted to get you to open them up so I could jump out and kill myself". The kids were horrified. That's my grandmotrher, though. There was turkey vulture flying outside the sitting room. She said it was waiting for a slow moving resident.
Posted by allisong23[/QUOTE]
I feel bad, but I laughed at this.

allisong23 · March 2012

Nates, don't feel bad. I laughed my ass off. My family is just like that. When my father was hobbling me down the aisle (he has a prosthetic leg and has cancer) he said "These assholes (meaning our guests) are all staring at me, hoping I will fall."
I told him if he didn't behave, I would kick out his fake leg.

musicalsunlight · March 2012

A fleeting moment type thing, very long time ago in high school. More along the lines of a "everyone would be better off" and just cried for a while at the time. I didn't get more serious than that.

I would never consider it now because a good friend of mine chose suicide and the grief leftover is enough to make me active in suicide prevention.

ZombieNates · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_suicide-workshop-at-work-today-and-i-have-a-question-for-you-based-on-it-possibly-morbid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c76393f5-0b7b-45b7-95f1-cbd739f32cf6Post:4387c3cc-9a94-47a8-b84f-892d707b1d8f">Re: Suicide Workshop at work today and I have a question for you based on it (possibly morbid)</a>:
[QUOTE]Nates, don't feel bad. I laughed my ass off. My family is just like that. When my father was hobbling me down the aisle (he has a prosthetic leg and has cancer) he said "These assholes (meaning our guests) are all staring at me, hoping I will fall." I told him if he didn't behave, I would kick out his fake leg.
Posted by allisong23[/QUOTE]
Hah, I'd fit in your family. We have a really dark sense of humor in my family, for sure.

maratea · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_suicide-workshop-at-work-today-and-i-have-a-question-for-you-based-on-it-possibly-morbid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c76393f5-0b7b-45b7-95f1-cbd739f32cf6Post:7e6a2e56-8660-45a1-a143-45f131345f09">Re: Suicide Workshop at work today and I have a question for you based on it (possibly morbid)</a>:
[QUOTE]I had severe depression for years and thought of it often... I still have fleeting thoughts weekly, but that is a major improvement over serious thoughts multiple times an hour. There is a big difference between "Oh I wish I were dead" and "I'm going to XYZ store to buy a pistol" or "I bet this bottle of vodka, bottle of painkillers, and everything else in my medicine cabinet would do it."
Posted by Wiscisbliss[/QUOTE]
Yes. This is similar to what the psychiatrist asked me. He basically asked if I 'had a plan'. My thoughts were more "I feel like shiit and I want it to end" rather than "I'm going to slit my throat and bleed out". Thoughts of suicide are very serious and shouldn't be taken lightly, but when someone has plan and has thought it out step by step is when the point of 'it's a cry for help' ends and 'I really want to die' starts.

crnflkgirl75 · March 2012

Ideation? Sure, but I've never considered it seriously. I have a dog and two cats-- what would happen to them? That's a serious factor in why. If it weren't for them, I may have seriously considered it after my mom died last fall. I know Fi considered it quite seriously when he was a bit younger, but he was in a very different place then.

ZombieNates · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_suicide-workshop-at-work-today-and-i-have-a-question-for-you-based-on-it-possibly-morbid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c76393f5-0b7b-45b7-95f1-cbd739f32cf6Post:e81956d4-62a6-489a-82a4-8c7d8dcae27f">Re: Suicide Workshop at work today and I have a question for you based on it (possibly morbid)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Suicide Workshop at work today and I have a question for you based on it (possibly morbid) : Yes. This is similar to what the psychiatrist asked me. He basically asked if I 'had a plan'. My thoughts were more "I feel like shiit and I want it to end" rather than "I'm going to slit my throat and bleed out". Thoughts of suicide are very serious and shouldn't be taken lightly, but when someone has plan and has thought it out step by step is when the point of 'it's a cry for help' ends and 'I really want to die' starts.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]
This is pretty much the only reason my mom was out patient and not in patient. She wanted to die because she wanted the pain, anxiety, depression, etc to go away, but she didn't actually have a plan in place to do it.

ceh789 · March 2012

I've suffered from depression my entire life. Fortunately I respond very well to medication and rarely have impact to my day to day life as long as I take it. Most depressed people suffer sleep changes - either too much or too little. For me, a bout of uncontrolled depression generally means I sleep 12+ hours/day. Once in my early 20s I had an episode where I couldn't sleep at all - not even a cat nap. After about a week of that I considered suicide. Fortunately the thoughts were enough to shock me into getting help and I never took action, but ever since that I've had a sense of profound empathy for people who suffer from insomnia - it's absolutely debilitating.

reils · March 2012

I was bullied pretty badly from grade 1or 2 until about grade 10. I hated my life and from gr 3 to 6 I probably thought about suicide daily and how I would do it etc.

ZombieNates · March 2012

I'm really saddened by hearing some of your stories about considering suicide as a kid. That just breaks my heart.

We watched this today (about Ryan Halligan's suicide) and it was heartwrenching.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOfiYefyR48&feature=related

Nebb · March 2012

They just did a special series in our local newspaper about suicides because we have a super high death rate in my city and the majority of them are suicides. I wish I remembered the stats but were well above the provincial average.

ZombieNates · March 2012

Hmm, I ownder why, Nebb. The social worker said that statistically more suicides are performed in the spring and we talked abotu why, but i don't think there was a definitive reason.

random4180 · March 2012

Yep. I went through serious depression since the time I was about 16/17 to just before I met my FI. I used self injury as a way to cope for probably about ten years (with a few months-long periods of not.) I was medicated for several years, in therapy for several years, and hospitalized twice. I think a lot of the reason my family is so ecstatic that I'm getting married is because they never thought I'd get this far; not in an unsupportive way, my family is really f-ing awesome

but in a realistic way. I never had a relationship (not even a bad one) until I met my guy and even I had kinda had low, low expectations. like, stayed away from really sharp things and really hot things today? Yes? okay, then that was a good day. Go me, lol.

I had plans, dates, letters, places (and a whole lot of depressing poetry, heh) but I never really did anything that landed me in the hospital immediately. All my inpatient stays were voluntary but definitely useful, especially the first one which followed a hypomanic period where I didn't sleep for a week. In a lot of ways, I always considered the self injury my way of keeping myself from truly attempting. And damn if people sometimes don't know the difference between the two, sheesh.

So do I have scars? Sure, and my FI still thinks I'm damn sexy and wonderful. But more importantly than that I'm still here.

jemmini6 · March 2012

We had a suicide-awareness assembly in grade school once and the saying that always stuck with me was "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." So if I ever fleetingly thought about it, it was always quickly followed up by the realization of how temporary my problems really were.

J&K10910 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_suicide-workshop-at-work-today-and-i-have-a-question-for-you-based-on-it-possibly-morbid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c76393f5-0b7b-45b7-95f1-cbd739f32cf6Post:dfa4c0ea-97a0-40af-80f8-d3b24ab74a94">Re: Suicide Workshop at work today and I have a question for you based on it (possibly morbid)</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a suicide-awareness assembly in grade school once and the saying that always stuck with me was "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." So if I ever fleetingly thought about it, it was always quickly followed up by the realization of how temporary my problems really were.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

I'm glad that worked for you. I wish it worked for more people. Unfortunately, I find that tagline to be asinine and unrealistic for someone that's seriously contemplating suicide.

Rockerchick842 · March 2012

I thought about it when I was younger. Depression/anxiety runs in my paternal family. My father, my grandmother and my aunts/uncles and most of my cousin deal with it to one degree or another. I've SI-ered since 3rd grade (thankfully, I've gone about 2 years without a relapse), and I've dealt with bouts of depression that included thoughts of suicide. Some were serious (this is how I'll do it), some were idealization. The last long strech was my senior year of high school.

I feel awful for people, specifically children that don't feel that they can talk about depression/suicidal thoughts/SI because of the stigma. It's a horrible feeling when you think there is no one to talk with who understands or emphasizes.

I feel better reading your stories. Hopefully younger generations will grow up being able to talk openly about their struggles.

Girlie1030 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_suicide-workshop-at-work-today-and-i-have-a-question-for-you-based-on-it-possibly-morbid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c76393f5-0b7b-45b7-95f1-cbd739f32cf6Post:ea46638e-2ca7-4e03-8352-6bd22999a758">Re: Suicide Workshop at work today and I have a question for you based on it (possibly morbid)</a>:
[QUOTE] I'd get in my car and drive up and down this stretch of highway thinking "Ok now! Swerve now" but I was never able to actually turn the wheel. I didn't want to take anyone with me.
Posted by kodakitty[/QUOTE]

I've been there.

Suicide Workshop at work today and I have a question for you based on it (possibly morbid)

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