Confessions

kikibaby · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c5713850-a967-43c4-9ad8-dfdea59c797aPost:00a16f99-63d3-4957-82f3-40982c6a74c9">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : They hate you? I kinda get the feeling that they don't particularly care for anyone who didn't join 'em. You know, the old "if you ain't with us, you're agin us!" sentiment.
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

I'm sure I'm being a little extreme with the hatred. But I asked a question over there yesterday about NC, and while I got lots of nice responses, none of the usual NC ladies replied. They were around, so I felt pointedly ignored. I don't dislike them, even though I know I've made snarky comments about the board (no pun intended). Just because I don't like the BOARD doesn't mean I don't like THEM.

EDIT: I do think heels responded, actually.

georgia_bride09 · August 2010

Amoro, the whole reason I'm currently trying to lose weight is to get pregnant. I'm already heavier than I've ever been, and I don't want a lot of complications that are my fault and could've been prevented. So far, the eating hasn't been much of a problem, I just need to get more active.

How do y'all remember these dreams? I hardly remember anything when I'm asleep, and the only reason I would is if I woke up to pee (like last night- I woke up at 1 and 6, and I remember both of those).

baystateapple · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c5713850-a967-43c4-9ad8-dfdea59c797aPost:a1fa3e24-0a26-4d01-b665-6a54ec23b3c1">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : Isn't it kinda "split"? Like you shouldn't be keeping track that you spent $X more than he did.
Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]

Eh...I think I sort of know where MissCourtney is coming from. FI doesn't have a ton of money in savings, and I had way more than he did socked away, so I've definitely contributed more financially to the wedding than he has. And most of the time, it's not really an issue, because it's my wedding too, it's not like I'm paying for some shindig that only for him, and only he will enjoy. But we have different tastes -- I wanted a laid-back, quiet affair, he wanted the traditional big wedding and fancy honeymoon getaway, and I've had to remind him several times that we just don't have the money for that, especially when his job does not enable him to save more than he already is a month, and with both of our student loans capping on to that.

Or maybe I'm reading MissCourtney wrong. That's what I took away from it, anyway.

danieliza1127 · August 2010

I think it's okay that the bride would contribute more to the wedding, because really, I doubt the groom cares all that much about the flowers and decor and things you're spending money on anyway. If it's mostly for you, there's nothing wrong with you paying more for it.

pumpkinpumpkin · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c5713850-a967-43c4-9ad8-dfdea59c797aPost:d8579182-f19b-401e-8bab-8fd285ac1800">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : Eh...I think I sort of know where MissCourtney is coming from. FI doesn't have a ton of money in savings, and I had way more than he did socked away, so I've definitely contributed more financially to the wedding than he has. And most of the time, it's not really an issue, because it's my wedding too, it's not like I'm paying for some shindig that only for him, and only he will enjoy. But we have different tastes -- I wanted a laid-back, quiet affair, he wanted the traditional big wedding and fancy honeymoon getaway, and I've had to remind him several times that we just don't have the money for that, especially when his job does not enable him to save more than he already is a month, and with both of our student loans capping on to that. Or maybe I'm reading MissCourtney wrong. That's what I took away from it, anyway.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

If this were my FI, and he had no money to contribute to the big, traditional affair...we wouldn't be having the big, traditional affair. Period.

kikibaby · August 2010

I paid for more of the wedding than H. I think it was split about 50% my parents, 35% me, and 15% H (I really hope that adds up to 100).

H would have been perfectly happy JOP'ing it I think.

georgia_bride09 · August 2010

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : I think that making friends in a new place as an adult is one of the hardest things I've ever done. In a way, I've given up. Where I work, people are friendly, but distant and no one seems to make friendships. At least not in my department. I have little in common with my neighbours - most of whom are early twenties and either partying a lot or starting families. And, from the looks of their houses, vehicles and yards, way more materialistic that I can handle. It sucks and I've realized that I'm lucky that Herbert is from the city and has family and friends here. I had some friends when I was single, but now that I'm married, most of them have reduced and/or stopped contact with me. I've tried to maintain contact, but I suppose when what you have in common is being single, marriage removes that.
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

I agree. The only friends I currently have in town are our neighbors, and my H did all that. The guys are closer, so the wives only hang out in groups. Otherwise, I have two close friends that I keep in contact with, and one is single but not a partier and the other one is in a long-term live-in relationship, so they act married. But they both live in Atlanta, so it's not like we can hang out whenever. This is pathetic, but I just assume I'll make mom friends when the time comes.

baystateapple · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c5713850-a967-43c4-9ad8-dfdea59c797aPost:943cabb1-cca7-4865-9433-c47d4e2c1051">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : If this were my FI, and he had no money to contribute to the big, traditional affair...we wouldn't be having the big, traditional affair. Period.
Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]

Well, that's the point. We aren't. We made up a budget and stuck to it. It's not exactly what he wanted, and it's not exactly what I wanted. But we're making it work. Lot of compromising.

wadingmoose · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c5713850-a967-43c4-9ad8-dfdea59c797aPost:fe7db438-a14d-48f3-b574-e6e7c0f736c8">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : I'm sure I'm being a little extreme with the hatred. But I asked a question over there yesterday about NC, and while I got lots of nice responses, none of the usual NC ladies replied. They were around, so I felt pointedly ignored. I don't dislike them, even though I know I've made snarky comments about the board (no pun intended). Just because I don't like the BOARD doesn't mean I don't like THEM.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

I'll agree with this. I think it's pretty clear that there are some there I don't like, but I think it's sad that people felt they needed to leave E.

Oddly, at the same time, I like the new E better than the old E with those people so maybe I should be happy.

I also think it's bloody hilarious that at the same time as the split, I got defriended on FB by a lot of the people who went over there who I've never had a problem with and I thought had no issue with me. I think I've always viewed the Knot FB friends as somewhat temporary - when I leave I'll likely slowly lose contact with most of them, but we're all still here and a few of those were people I didn't think I'd lose contact with. KWIM? Then again, I had a period around there where my posting dropped off significantly so maybe they thought I was gone or gone enough that there was no point keeping me on FB. (I'm rambling.)

Also, there's the fact that I'm not a huge FB updater. At all. I go, I read, I try to keep up, but I hate twitter-like updates. And I feel like an AW talking about my car. And I don't do vacation updates because for the most part I don't make it public when I won't be home. So, yeah. I'm a FB dud. Really, I'm surprised I have so many friends on there still.

/end ramble.

georgia_bride09 · August 2010

I contributed more to the wedding than my H as well. I made twice what he did, so it just made sense. We did split stuff up though; he covered the HM and some other stuff. Whatever we didn't pay for, my mom did, and his mom covered a few "traditional groom's parents" things. All in all, I'd say I paid the most.

andyandhillary · August 2010

I also hate that I haven't really made friends in DC. The last year was absolute hell. I was lonely and Andy was 600 miles away. Fortunately my best friend moved here from MI in addition to several of my college friends so I'm not lonely at all anymore. Part of it I guess is that I wasn't single and part of it I guess is that I'm not into going out to bars and getting sloshed anymore.

wadingmoose · August 2010

Wedding confessions.

1. I wish that we'd either had a bigger wedding or just eloped completely.
2. I really hated my dress. A LOT.
3. My dress didn't fit the formality of my wedding. Casual wedding, formal-ish gown. Dumb.
4. My wedding was awkward and silly and poorly planned.

Non-wedding confessions:

1. I hate my body. I'm almost 250lbs. Yeah. When I think about that, all I want to do is cry and eat. Which obviously will not solve a darned thing. It's also what got me here. I want to go back in time, kick early 20s me in the butt.
2. I'm pretty sure if I lost weight, a lot of my problems would go away, including my allergies, insomnia, depression and lack of energy.
3. I love my MIL more than my own mother. But I love my Dad more than my FIL. My SIL and my brother are on equal footing, but I love my brother's wife more than him.

Actually, my two SILs (husband's sister, brother's wife) are on equal footing. Their husbands just kind of exist.

MISSCOURTNEY20 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c5713850-a967-43c4-9ad8-dfdea59c797aPost:a1fa3e24-0a26-4d01-b665-6a54ec23b3c1">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : Isn't it kinda "split"? Like you shouldn't be keeping track that you spent $X more than he did.
Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]

No it is far from split as in 50-50. We have a budget and have done a pretty good job at sticking to what we are going to spend on certain things. I also didn't take very dime out of our wedding account to pay for somethings. I paid for a lot of things out of my checking account.

I am in no way saying that I hold any resentment because I don't. FH cares a lot about the wedding and he wanted one just as much as I did. I just know that I am spending a lot more and that's okay.

kikibaby · August 2010

Moose, I like E fine the way it is. But yeah, it makes me sad that so many people seem to post exclusively on SB now.

I don't have any Knottie FB friends anymore... I decided to stick to my old rule of only people I know face-to-face, but I do kind of miss some of the friends status updates, especially since they don't post here as much.

danieliza1127 · August 2010

Moose, you're chatty today. I like it!

I confess that when I was all gung-ho for TTC this fall, I said I would quit smoking by June 30th and start taking pre-natals by August 1st. Then my H said he wasn't ready to be talking about all this yet, so I didn't follow through with anything I said I would. It's stupid because continuing smoking and not taking vitamins is only hurting myself. I should still quit and start respectively. I'm just being a pouty baby about it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

I'm inviting my childhood BFF to my wedding. I know she won't come for various reasons, but I saw her in person a few months ago and really wanted to (my mom even asked if I was inviting her). I'm kinda bummed because she's getting married 2 weeks before me and I know I'm not invited to her wedding. She doesn't have my current address and I probably would have gotten the invitation already. And if she DOES send me an invite I'll know it's a courtesy/sympathy invite. I wouldn't be able to go, either, but I'm just kinda bummed, because I always pictured us being at each other's weddings back in high school. It's a hard image to get over. I never pictured much of anything else about my wedding.

rubyredlucy · August 2010

Thanks, wading, georgia and andy- it's nice to know I'm not alone in my patheticness.

I don't mind it most of the time; I'm perfectly content staying home and doing my own thing. But there are times when having friends close-by would be really nice.

kikibaby · August 2010

ruby, you should keep hanging out here- we have lots of Boston ladies on the board!

rubyredlucy · August 2010

I've got another:

A few months ago, someone on this board said that Gilmore Girls jumped the shark when Luke's kid came into the picture. I have an abnormal addiction to GG, watch it everyday, and the episodes with the kid are on- it's totally ruined for me now! I can't get it out of my mind, and I'm annoyed I can't remember who said the damn thing in the first place.

wadingmoose · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c5713850-a967-43c4-9ad8-dfdea59c797aPost:95584994-5ff8-4567-a097-06971e773727">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]ruby, you should keep hanging out here- we have lots of Boston ladies on the board!
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

Definitely stick around Ruby. I didn't notice you were in Boston. I'm pretty sure someone on here just moved there fairly recently, but I'm not sure who anymore (ok, I don't keep up well on here either). And I think Moneypenny lives there (Right?)

I think I'm not so helpful with this post. Although I wish more knotties lived in my city. It's so knot-lonely here.

andyandhillary · August 2010

I also confess that I wasn't sad when my grandma died and I feel bad. I was sad for my mom, because she lost her mom but not sad that she passed away. I mean, she was extremely old and her mind had been gone for years now. I had been preparing for her to physically move on for 4 years now. I just feel like I lost her a long time ago so I guess that's why I'm not sad now. Am I a horrible person? Please validate me.

FutureMrsTR · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c5713850-a967-43c4-9ad8-dfdea59c797aPost:1d3a58bd-d7b4-4a11-b2fc-606c48fa8cdc">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Wedding confessions. 1. I wish that we'd either had a bigger wedding or just eloped completely. 2. I really hated my dress. A LOT. 3. My dress didn't fit the formality of my wedding. Casual wedding, formal-ish gown. Dumb. 4. My wedding was awkward and silly and poorly planned.Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

My confession is that I'm afraid these are going to be my confessions after next Saturday.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

I almost wish my company did furloughs. I don't really want to lose the money, but more 3 day weekends would be nice. But they won't, because their theory is that they'd lose productivity and that's worse in the long run. Hence the reduction in our holidays this year (including the day after my wedding, which I now need to take off with my reduced vacation hours).

Our president was flipping out the other day and said something like, "This could mean the company going under and everyone here losing their jobs" as a scenario to another employee. I almost lost it. I can't lose my job.

AdeleDazeem · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c5713850-a967-43c4-9ad8-dfdea59c797aPost:6721eb6c-743e-41f3-bca8-79a893df080d">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : Definitely stick around Ruby. I didn't notice you were in Boston. I'm pretty sure someone on here just moved there fairly recently, but I'm not sure who anymore (ok, I don't keep up well on here either). And I think Moneypenny lives there (Right?) I think I'm not so helpful with this post. Although I wish more knotties lived in my city. It's so knot-lonely here.
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

Squirrly, I believe.

Brie2010 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c5713850-a967-43c4-9ad8-dfdea59c797aPost:6721eb6c-743e-41f3-bca8-79a893df080d">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : Definitely stick around Ruby. I didn't notice you were in Boston. I'm pretty sure someone on here just moved there fairly recently, but I'm not sure who anymore (ok, I don't keep up well on here either). And I think Moneypenny lives there (Right?) I think I'm not so helpful with this post. Although I wish more knotties lived in my city. It's so knot-lonely here.
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

Squirrly just moved to Boston and I think she's actively seeking out friends!

I need friends where I live, too, rubyred. But I like your cat.

Mrs.B6302007 · August 2010

i guess i was busy popping out a kid but i never did really get the reason behind the E and SB war/split. what caused it? sorry for no caps - am typing one handed

danieliza1127 · August 2010

hillary - you're not a bad person for feeling that way.

Stackeye210 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c5713850-a967-43c4-9ad8-dfdea59c797aPost:6721eb6c-743e-41f3-bca8-79a893df080d">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : Definitely stick around Ruby. I didn't notice you were in Boston. I'm pretty sure someone on here just moved there fairly recently, but I'm not sure who anymore (ok, I don't keep up well on here either). And I think Moneypenny lives there (Right?) I think I'm not so helpful with this post. Although I wish more knotties lived in my city. It's so knot-lonely here.
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

Squirrly just moved there - and Butterflykate is there too.

I swear we only get crazies or weird posters from my city here. Well except Abbalish - she's pretty cool.

Stackeye210 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c5713850-a967-43c4-9ad8-dfdea59c797aPost:2a95bb14-8c46-422b-975c-0ccd5118dee5">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]i guess i was busy popping out a kid but i never did really get the reason behind the E and SB war/split. what caused it? sorry for no caps - am typing one handed
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

All I know is it was referred to as "epic" - my eyes rolled a lot and it almost made me GBCK because it was so ridiculous.

Night_Sprite · August 2010

I confess that part of me wishes my grandma would pass away. She's 88, in a nursing home, has alzheimers, and has almost died at least once a month since April. I feel like this makes me a bad person.

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