A big old honking wrench

amber2123 · October 2010

I live in a different state than my family and most of my firends. My family is flying out for the wedding, but I told my friends that I would love to have them, but understood if they couldn't make it. My best friend, and the one I wanted to be my MOH(Amber) told me she was honered to be asked, but couldn't come because school/work and cash issues. I told her that I understood and that I would miss her dearly. I then asked my best friend out here(Randy) and she accepted. Well Randy has been verry pickey about dresses and not interested in any details, but has been having personal issues so I understand she's stressed. The wrench comes in at, Amber called yesterday and said that as her birthday present, her mom was going to fly her out for my wedding and got the time off work and school so she would be here. Yippee! Then she dropped a bombshell saying she would love to take the title of MOH if she could. This is my BEST friend. I'm havving issues with Randy, but I still love her and I'm totally lost for what to do.

akhensley81 · October 2010

What if you made them co-MOH's?

baystateapple · October 2010

You can't un-ask Randy. Make them both co-MOHs.

georgia_bride09 · October 2010

Just make them co-Maids of Honor. Problem solved.

georgia_bride09 · October 2010

Also, Randy doesn't have to be intereted in details. It's not her wedding.

FutureMrsTR · October 2010

I think everyone has just about covered it. Have two MsOH and call it a day.

amber2123 · October 2010

I'm paying for the dresses, and I mean details like where the location is and what I would like done with her hair and thisng like that. Not little things that have nothing to do with her.

Moneypenny424 · October 2010

Like PP said, co-MOHs. If you don't want to do that, then you need to stick with Randy as your MOH.

waltzingmatilda13 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_big-old-honking-wrench?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:217a4b1a-bc6b-416c-b8d7-1e340cc2e38dPost:9ccfb588-a791-44cc-bd06-9579c8aafd22">Re: A big old honking wrench</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm paying for the dresses, and I mean details like where the location is and what I would like done with her hair and thisng like that. Not little things that have nothing to do with her.
Posted by amber2123[/QUOTE]

Then just stop talking to her about the details. All she needs to know is what to wear and when/where to show up.

emilyinchile · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_big-old-honking-wrench?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:217a4b1a-bc6b-416c-b8d7-1e340cc2e38dPost:9ccfb588-a791-44cc-bd06-9579c8aafd22">Re: A big old honking wrench</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm paying for the dresses, and I mean details like where the location is and what I would like done with her hair and thisng like that. Not little things that have nothing to do with her.
Posted by amber2123[/QUOTE]

Well the girl gets a say in how her own hair looks. Don't dictate hairstyles - not everyone is going to look good or feel comfortable with the same thing, and it's just so not worth the battle.

For other stuff, just thank her for her opinion and change the subject.

FutureMrsTR · October 2010

I'd take your (unusual) future last name out of your ticker since you have your FI's name in your profile. Good internet safety and all.

amber2123 · October 2010

It's mostly the dress thing with her, I've posted about it before, but she won't wear anything if it's not form a specific website and the only dress that comes in all the sizes I need is sleeveless. I have not problem with sleeveless, but my wedding is a sunrise on a mountain in march...it'll be chilly (45-50)

amber2123 · October 2010

Donachaidh is his clan name, not his last name

laurenclaire1386 · October 2010

No matter how many times you ask if it's ok to kick this chick out of your wedding party, no one is going to tell you it's ok.

georgia_bride09 · October 2010

You're getting married at 7 in the morning?

FutureMrsTR · October 2010

You still can't kick her out. Does the new co-MOH know that she's going through all of this trouble just to have to get up before the ass-crack of dawn for your wedding? Because if she doesn't, she might change her mind back and problem solved!

emilyinchile · October 2010

I am curious what time guests need to arrive for a sunrise wedding. I am even curious-er what time BMs need to start getting their bride-mandated hairstyles for said wedding. It all just sounds painfully early.

amber2123 · October 2010

I only want there hair pulled bach in a low ponytail, so that's easy and the weiind starts a 0630. I havn't heard one thing negitive about this and asked all of my WP if it was okay with them before we set the time. I havn't even heard a negitive comment from any of the guests, as there will be only 35 of them.

emilyinchile · October 2010

Well I wouldn't tell YOU "the timing of your wedding stinks," but you can sure as hell bet that I'd tell everyone else I know that my crazy friend was making me get up at 5:30 in order to have time to get ready for her wedding. I mean, I'd go for my BFFs because I love them, but I'd seriously wish they could have gotten married at a slightly less ridiculous time.

emilyinchile · October 2010

(I am now waiting for the "well you might talk to other people about it, but that's because you're a bitch, my friends and family actually love me" response)

FutureMrsTR · October 2010

People probably won't tell you to your face that your plan is a little bit insane.

That being said, I do think Randy is being a bit ridiculous about the dress. Unless she's super allergic to every fabric except the one from this website or you've picked one that leaves her half-naked (which I doubt since you don't think sleeveless is a good idea) she should wear the dress you're going to buy for her.

amber2123 · October 2010

It's a religous thing, I didn't say anything about having to partake in a catholic or christian wedding and they understand that it has deep significant meaning. And I asked if they would rather sunrise or sunset. I feedback I got was that either was fine and they didn't mind getting up. I even asked my guests if they minded before I set the time, and none of them cared. I'm going to have coffee and pasteries before the wedding and then a big breakfast after.

FutureMrsTR · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_big-old-honking-wrench?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:217a4b1a-bc6b-416c-b8d7-1e340cc2e38dPost:f6d061f0-704c-4cdc-8a3b-39c215c1240f">Re: A big old honking wrench</a>:
[QUOTE]It's a religous thing, I didn't say anything about having to partake in a catholic or christian wedding and they understand that it has deep significant meaning. And I asked if they would rather sunrise or sunset. I feedback I got was that either was fine and they didn't mind getting up. I even asked my guests if they minded before I set the time, and none of them cared. I'm going to have coffee and pasteries before the wedding and then a big breakfast after.
Posted by amber2123[/QUOTE]

As you explained it, you wanted sunrise because of new beginnings and all that. So wouldn't sunset have the opposite significance? Why would that be ok?

kikibaby · October 2010

So... why can't they be co-MOH's as everyone has suggested? What's the problem here?

emilyinchile · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_big-old-honking-wrench?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:217a4b1a-bc6b-416c-b8d7-1e340cc2e38dPost:f6d061f0-704c-4cdc-8a3b-39c215c1240f">Re: A big old honking wrench</a>:
[QUOTE]It's a religous thing, I didn't say anything about having to partake in a catholic or christian wedding and they understand that it has deep significant meaning. And I asked if they would rather sunrise or sunset. I feedback I got was that either was fine and they didn't mind getting up. I even asked my guests if they minded before I set the time, and none of them cared. I'm going to have coffee and pasteries before the wedding and then a big breakfast after.
Posted by amber2123[/QUOTE]

I don't really understand what you mean by that/what that has to do with anything.

Again, if you asked I might not tell you my opinion (well ok, *I* actually probably would, but I know a lot of people who wouldn't) because it's your wedding, and I'd tell you to do whatever. I still think it's inconsiderate to ask people to get up for a 6:30 ceremony just as I'd say it was inconsiderate to start your ceremony at 10pm.

That said, I do think a brunch wedding sounds fun...I'd just rather it be brunch at 11 vs. breakfast at 7.

amber2123 · October 2010

sunset would be the death of the old life and a time of resting after the day (or years trying to find the one). Plus the moon is feminine.

FutureMrsTR · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_big-old-honking-wrench?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:217a4b1a-bc6b-416c-b8d7-1e340cc2e38dPost:7d07225c-a160-4ccf-81b4-7215d6ec0cbb">Re: A big old honking wrench</a>:
[QUOTE]So... why can't they be co-MOH's as everyone has suggested? What's the problem here?
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

That wasn't one of the options, Kiki, look at the poll. Gawsh!

emilyinchile · October 2010

So let me get this straight:

- You are having your wedding at a really early, inconvenient time
- You are dictating attire by having all the men wear kilts (I understood this to mean guests will be asked to wear kilts too, if I'm wrong I apologize)
- You are dictating your BMs' hairstyles even though one is against it
- You chose a second-rate MOH instead of just not giving anyone that title when your actual best friend couldn't make it
- You now want to kick out and then replace said MOH

Randy's being ridiculous about the dress, I won't argue that, but since etiquette's well out the window on this one anyway, I say you just tie her down and stuff her into it on your wedding day.

Snippylynn · October 2010

I'm a rather abrupt person, but I wouldn't tell someone they couldn't have their wedding when they wanted. It's not my responsibility, but I'd piss and moan to everyone else around me. I don't care that there would be coffee, etc, though I really think that's nice. I like sleep.

kikibaby · October 2010

Yeah, sorry TR, what was I thinking?

Kick the biitch out of the WP and be done with it.

amber2123 · October 2010

Honestly I hadn't thought of them being CMOH. I had never heard of it. I'm going to do that. Ant the reason the catholic/christian thing came into play is those were my MOH and one of my BM weddings and I stood up for them and did everything that was expected of me, even if I'm of a different religon. So I respected their religous belifs and they respect mine. That's why they don't mind a sunrise wedding.

A big old honking wrench

Re: A big old honking wrench

Choose Another Board

Search Boards