Here's the deal, we're getting married on the other side of the country in relation to the where my family is from and family friends live. Our families have respected our wishes to have a small wedding, but as a compromise of sorts they'd like to throw a party for us in their hometown so they can invite all their friends who will not be invited to the wedding (since we want it small and intimate) and also for family members who cannot afford to fly across the country to our wedding. I'm definitely fond of this idea, but unsure as to when to have the party. Logistically, it's easier to have it in the summer before our 8.27.11 wedding. However, I feel like then they'll be hosting an engagement party for a wedding that the guests aren't invited to...which feels a little impolite. Am I wrong? We can do it in the fall, after our wedding, but it gets more difficult due to people being back in school, working being busier, and prior travel arrangements.
What do you think - a party before or after the wedding? I don't want to offend people but I also know it will be more difficult to make happen after the wedding.