Hey everyone
I haven't spent much time on the September board... but, I hang out on some of the other boards. I just mostly wanted to vent and sort of write down my freak out !
I never really thought much of the "money dance" before I started planning my wedding. I've been to lots and lots of weddings, and almost ALL of them had the money dance. I normally would go dance with the couple and give them each a 5 dollar bill. I never considered it overwhelmingly rude or tacky... it was just a "normal" wedding activity.
I had no intention of having a money dance at my wedding anyway. Not because I thought it was horrible or rude or tacky... but, because we don't really need the money. We are hosting our wedding on budget for sure, but most of my friendswork in nonprofit or social work fields, and make significantly less money than I do, so it wouldn't occur to me to even suggest that they should take out their wallets and give me a few bucks.
THEN, I started hanging out on TheKnot... and saw how many people are VERY adamant that it is rude and tacky and horrible, etc. etc. etc So, I was like WOW, I dodged that bullet. Lucky for ME, I wasn't planning on having one anyway!
Fast forward a few months... and we are very much in the heart of planning our wedding. Our wedding is going to be beautiful, but very casual. We are having buffet Mexican food, (my sweetheart is mexican and its my favorite food). The venue is at a facility run by the parks district... so, its indoor/outdoor ... right near the water in the San Francisco bay area... the building itself is very pretty, but you know... it's still a park. So, again... pretty, but casual. Probably 75-80percent of our guests are friends... very few family members. No random neighbors that knew us when we were 6. Nothing like that.
So, now, when talking to my friends/bridesmaids about wedding planning, how things are going, etc.... every single one of them have said "I can't wait for the money dance!!!" I have told them all I am not planning on having one... and they were all saying "boooooooo how come??? it's tradition !! You have to have one... blah blah. And, "Geez Christina.. you do EVERYTHING for EVERYONE.. all the time... you can't let us come dance with you and give you few dollars in celebration of your wedding? Some of us might be too broke to get you a gift... but, we would be thrilled to put a five in your lil money bag and dance with you for a minute". My best friend (who also is the person walking me down the aisle) has said jokingly, "well, when I give my toast to you... I'm going to say "I'll give my toast, right after the MONEY dance!". I told her, don't DARE do that !! Another friend said "well, if you don't have an official money dance, I'm still coming to dance with you and tuck a 10 dollar bill in your corset! We can have an unofficial money dance".
I've explained how its considered rude and tacky in a lot of circles (although, not necessarily my circle), and that I wasn't going to have one anyway... but, after hearing how rude so many people they are... I certainly didn't want to !!
I guess the point of my post is... how in the hell did something that is so traditional in so many circles become so tacky and horrid in others? And, how in the hell am I going to keep my friends from coming and dancing with me and shoving a dollar in my hand??