have just moved in

KendallR10 · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_just-moved?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ae62c96-ee5e-4dad-8f5f-d5b54fa15accPost:1e36e956-2357-4a9b-89b4-d246b2bd205b">Re: have just moved in</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: have just moved in : I mean, my H likes to clean too. It doesn't mean I tasked him with it. My issue with the post is really two-fold. 1) OP wasn't looking for housewifely chores. She wanted tips on getting used to living with a man. Like having dinner on the table makes sharing finances any easier.... and 2) What do you ask of your FI, since he has no problem asking you for a clean house and a hot meal? It doesn't sound very two-way street at. all.
Posted by Irishcurls[/QUOTE]
When I wasn't working for 3 months I had no issue keeping the house picked up and making dinner. When I have a job who ever is home its their job to make dinner and we clean on weekends. I ask that FI keeps his army crap neat. I hate tripping over boots. His other job is to keep our roommate is check that we are not his made

KendallR10 · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_just-moved?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ae62c96-ee5e-4dad-8f5f-d5b54fa15accPost:2755b166-7956-4cce-bfad-4ecaad97db98">Re: have just moved in</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: have just moved in : I don't even respectfully disagree. I just regular disagree. Anyone who is looking for a job wants one and should have one.
Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]
Right after I quit my job I didn't have one. My job was looking for another job

KendallR10 · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_just-moved?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ae62c96-ee5e-4dad-8f5f-d5b54fa15accPost:9087d0b5-ab51-4ec9-8a2f-4979ad7d633a">Re: have just moved in</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: have just moved in : Newsflash...we aren't in the 1950s anymore. OP- My FI and I are pretty normal. While we don't live together I have spent several week long trips at his/my house...The only thing we have trouble with is cooking. Let me just say I follow the recipe to the letter and he just puts in what feels right. It drives us both up the wall. He thinks I nag at him and I think he is ruining dinner...many times we would get mad and storm off. ...and then the bread would burn. We have come to the understanding that we can't cook together. Haha
Posted by AmandaSC1988[/QUOTE]
I'm aware. Thats why I said when she is looking for a job. When she has a job thats a different story

firemedicrr · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_just-moved?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ae62c96-ee5e-4dad-8f5f-d5b54fa15accPost:84ca5468-90b0-4c51-8f87-17ee1a7eb41a">Re: have just moved in</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: have just moved in : When I wasn't working for 3 months I had no issue keeping the house picked up and making dinner. When I have a job who ever is home its their job to make dinner and we clean on weekends. I ask that FI <strong>keeps his army crap neat. I hate tripping over boots</strong>. His other job is to keep our roommate is check that we are not his made
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Wow, that sounds really appreciative of his service and desire to work.

</div>

KendallR10 · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_just-moved?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ae62c96-ee5e-4dad-8f5f-d5b54fa15accPost:9c3ab8e5-caca-439e-94ef-311bb7ea1ecc">Re: have just moved in</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: have just moved in : Wow, that sounds really appreciative of his service and desire to work.
Posted by firemedicrr[/QUOTE]
Right now his armory is under going renovations and they don't have lockers. We have all of the stuff that is supposed to be in the lockers at our house. And its not even in a box. I get sick of tripping over vest and sleeping bags and stuff. I wouldn't mind if it was neat or at his locker, but when I come home at 3 am and don't want to wake him up by turning a light on, and I trip over something and hit my head on the bed I get a little annoyed

kyrgyzstan · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_just-moved?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ae62c96-ee5e-4dad-8f5f-d5b54fa15accPost:9c3ab8e5-caca-439e-94ef-311bb7ea1ecc">Re: have just moved in</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: have just moved in : Wow, that sounds really appreciative of his service and desire to work.
Posted by firemedicrr[/QUOTE]

<div>Enh, I love the Marine Corps a lot, and I'm not Kendall's biggest fan, but when I trip over H's vest, or boots, I get annoyed too, and might say, "Move your junk."</div><div>
</div><div>I think this is nitpicky. </div>

JLAyen8861 · October 2011

hey ladies,
i am having a bit of a rough time lately...ya know being engaged and lots is changing type thing. SO, good news i think i found a job i will find out tomorrow BUT bad news fi is not quit understanding/hearing that i am nervous about moving. I WANT TO BE WITH HIM, but i am shy as i have said before and with being shy me and his family have awkward realtionships and they live in the same town. i wont have my family right there in town; i dont really know the area i am going to; and little rough to leave my job yes i will admit that i am scared but wanting to be with my fi out ways all that i just wish he would understand but feel like he is not or that i am having these feelings that i dont really want to be with him and do this. i do want to do this but am i crazy cant i be a little scared at first...anyone run into this in their personal life?

calindi · October 2011

I really believe there's nothing that can prepare you for living together except for actually doing it. My FI spent 5-6 nights per week at my old apartment, but it still was a huge adjustment when we moved in together. Communication is key - be willing and open to address small issues before they become big issues, and realize that it will take adjustment from you both and that compromise is necessary.

It's totally normal to be scared about moving. Join clubs or volunteer somewhere as soon as you get there to meet new people with similar interests and to have a comfort zone. Find little places that become "yours" - whatever you like! We have a little wine bar where we go for wine tastings on Friday nights, a sushi restaurant that is a hole in the wall but super cheap and awesome, and a German deli where we can get delicious sausages and mustards. Those are some of our "places". Yelp was a huge help in finding them, check it out for your new area and make lists of places you want to try out! It will make it more exciting and less scary. Don't feel like you have to constantly try new things just because you're in a new place - it's perfectly fine to find a place you like and going back a few times so you feel like you have that comfort zone.

As for living together, setting up expectations on cleaning, bill paying, laundry, sleep/quiet hours, etc., it can really help. Visiting doesn't set you up for this - people are more willing to compromise when it's 1-2 weeks at a time, but fully understanding how your sleep schedules coordinate, who cleans the bathroom, who will pay the bills and how much you each pay and where the money goes (we each have our own and then a joint account, which is our solution, and we like it). Be prepared to revisit and reassess these guidelines. They aren't rules, just an idea of how to live together happily. Also, from personal experience, set up a guideline about who can visit, when, and for how long. Some people feel totally cool with second cousins showing up for 2 weeks, and others would rather immediate family only for 2-3 days max. Some people want friends over all the time, others like keeping their home a place of peace and quiet. There's no right answer, it's all about finding out what works for you both!

have just moved in

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