Is bridesmaids and groomsmen really tradition?

javabluemandy · April 2011

My fiance and I are trying to decide if we want groomsmen and bridesmaids. We are having so much trouble with our wedding party, that when we ask if they can do this or that, they always have an excuse.

What do you think ?

SD3194 · April 2011

You can't ask them to be in the wedding party and then kick them out. You still have a year and five months until your wedding. What could you possibly be asking of them this early?

javabluemandy · April 2011

I asked a few of my bridesmaids to come to wedding expo's with me and their excuse is they have something else to do. And I let them know way in advance.

javabluemandy · April 2011

I understand that people have lives.. so do I.. but every expo? Come on'!!

SD3194 · April 2011

You can't kick anyone out of your wedding party unless you want to permanently end that friendship.

Also, the BMs are not required to go to expos, plan parties or anything other than get a dress and show up to the wedding. It's nice if they do that extra stuff but it's wrong of you to demand it.

Viczaesar · April 2011

You want to kick out your bridesmaids almost a year and a half before your wedding because they won't go to bridal expos with you? Really?

javabluemandy · April 2011

no my bridesmaids are close friends or well use to be. I was in their weddings and I helped with everything. I just asked them to go to a few lousy expo's I don't know what the big deal is. It's not like i'm asking them to divorce their husbands. If we are "close friends" then there shouldn't be an issue!

javabluemandy · April 2011

P.S. there is also way more to it, which I choose not to share, even with my fiance's groomsmen!

Viczaesar · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-groomsmen-really-tradition?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4e040add-aec0-4d02-a2b8-834d4f213935Post:1748ab25-b111-427a-958e-892bc648b8b2">Re: Is bridesmaids and groomsmen really tradition?</a>:
[QUOTE]no my bridesmaids are close friends or well use to be. I was in their weddings and I helped with everything. I just asked them to go to a few lousy expo's <strong>I don't know what the big deal is. </strong>It's not like i'm asking them to divorce their husbands. <strong>If we are "close friends" then there shouldn't be an issue!</strong>
Posted by javabluemandy[/QUOTE]
You're the one making it a big deal. You're absolutely right, there shouldn't be an issue with them declining to go with you to bridal expos. Given that, I don't understand why you're making it into an issue.

Your wedding party, both the bridesmaids/MOH and the groomsmen/BM, have no other requirement but to show up on the day of your wedding, sober and in the correct attire, and smile for pictures. That's it. Your expectations of your bridal party are out of whack. If they want to come along with you to bridal expos, help you with DIY projects, go to cake tastings, or throw pre-wedding parties for you, consider it a bonus. Not wanting or being able to do those things is does not in any way make them bad bridal party members, or anything other than normal people with busy lives that do not revolve around your wedding, especially when it's over a year away.

Here's a fundamental truth that you need to absorb before you alienate all of your friends while planning your wedding: No one will ever care as much about your wedding as you do. And that's absolutely fine.

hellerc1 · April 2011

Is this person a troll?

Why do you think they have to go to expos with you? Why don't be believe that they did have something else planned? What else has happened that if you tell may not make you look like such a bridezilla/troll?

hellerc1 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-groomsmen-really-tradition?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4e040add-aec0-4d02-a2b8-834d4f213935Post:5de4e7ac-9b26-4a9d-b99f-c7a3779efe17">Is bridesmaids and groomsmen really tradition?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are trying to decide if we want groomsmen and bridesmaids. We are having so much trouble with our wedding party, that when we ask if they can do this or that, they always have an excuse. What do you think ?
Posted by javabluemandy[/QUOTE]

JIC

javabluemandy · April 2011

lol it's so funny your opinions but all my co workers and other friends and family have said that it's my wedding, I can do as I wish, and they agree with me. If one or all is giving you a hard time then ditch them. You can sit here and make fun of me, and call me names.. I don't giving a flying F*** .. but after all it is my wedding, and it has nothing to do with alienating people.

Viczaesar · April 2011

"It's my wedding, I can do what I want" is a childish way to act. You know why you'll get honest opinions from strangers on a message board? We're not blowing smoke up your ass. Your wedding ceases to be all about you the moment you involve other people. Kicking out your friends for not going to wedding expos with you? Childish, selfish, bridezillaish move. Period. Unless they try to kill you or sleep with your fiance, there is no good reason to kick out your wedding party members. If you're having problems with ALL of the members of your wedding party, look at the common factor - you. You and your unrealistic expectations.

Go ahead and kick out your friends for your ridiculous reasons. No one here can stop you. But don't be surprised and don't come whining here when you cause irreparable damage to your friendships and reveal yourself for the bridezilla that you apparently are.

SD3194 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-groomsmen-really-tradition?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4e040add-aec0-4d02-a2b8-834d4f213935Post:87f33f3e-1ece-4728-bc6b-f93b9eb53c02">Re: Is bridesmaids and groomsmen really tradition?</a>:
[QUOTE]lol it's so funny your opinions but all my co workers and other friends and family have said that it's my wedding, I can do as I wish, and they agree with me. If one or all is giving you a hard time then ditch them. You can sit here and make fun of me, and call me names.. I don't giving a flying F*** .. but after all it is my wedding, and it has nothing to do with alienating people. ;)
Posted by javabluemandy[/QUOTE]

I admire you for being so strong. If I was in your position I would be crying like a baby because I just lost all of my bestfriends over a BRIDAL EXPO...

javabluemandy · April 2011

F*** YOU CUNTS

hellerc1 · April 2011

I now know why they would not want to do anything with you!

SD3194 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-groomsmen-really-tradition?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4e040add-aec0-4d02-a2b8-834d4f213935Post:126e0f39-b9f9-4002-89c0-edf989aea9df">Re: Is bridesmaids and groomsmen really tradition?</a>:
[QUOTE]F*** YOU CUNTS
Posted by javabluemandy[/QUOTE]

Viczaesar · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-groomsmen-really-tradition?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4e040add-aec0-4d02-a2b8-834d4f213935Post:126e0f39-b9f9-4002-89c0-edf989aea9df">Re: Is bridesmaids and groomsmen really tradition?</a>:
[QUOTE]F*** YOU CUNTS
Posted by javabluemandy[/QUOTE]
Bless you too, sweetheart.

SD3194 · April 2011

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE BRIDAL EXPO?!?!

Viczaesar · April 2011

LMAO, SD!

javabluemandy · April 2011

you guys are really fucked up in the head lol. good luck to you and your marriages..

SD3194 · April 2011

Maybe we should be more understanding. I mean, she only has 1.5 years to plan her wedding and bridal expos are such a rarity these days.

hellerc1 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-groomsmen-really-tradition?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4e040add-aec0-4d02-a2b8-834d4f213935Post:8097f7f6-7eb7-49cc-aa32-1524f32365c6">Re: Is bridesmaids and groomsmen really tradition?</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe we should be more understanding. I mean, she only has 1.5 years to plan her wedding and bridal expos are such a rarity these days.
Posted by SD3194[/QUOTE]

They are imagine I planned my whole wedding without going to a single one -oh the horror. Also we are so messed in the head we ran off and changed all our photos, and called people names.

Viczaesar · April 2011

And apparently she even has 17/18 of other bridesmaid and groomsman problems! Let me guess, they won't get matching wedding tattoos? That's got to take up at least 3/18 of the issues right there. What are those selfish people thinking?

Viczaesar · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-groomsmen-really-tradition?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4e040add-aec0-4d02-a2b8-834d4f213935Post:664b5a45-10de-42cc-b0d9-56c7a4afe767">Re: Is bridesmaids and groomsmen really tradition?</a>:
[QUOTE]you guys are really fucked up in the head lol. good luck to you and your marriages..
Posted by javabluemandy[/QUOTE]
For posterity.

[Deleted User] · April 2011

Not only should you ditch them, but you should sneak in to their houses wearing Gary Busey masks and cut all of the sleeves off of their shirts. That will teach them to think twice about turning you down for a bridal expo next time.

HappinessByTheKilowatt · April 2011

I voted yes, you should get rid of them.

Please, do them that favor.

mkrupar · April 2011

Wow OP you're a real peach. You'll actually be doing your friends a favor by kicking them out. I certainly wouldn't want to be a BM for you, let alone friends with you. You're a tool (hopefully a troll). Grow up.

thesequel · April 2011

OP - how old are you? Are you seriously throwing a temper tantrum??

Do your WP a favour and cut them loose....actually they may even be having second thoughts of ever agreeing to it.

What is a bridal expo? Are you willing to lose your closest friends over this?

sklink0486 · April 2011

Is this for real???? Really?? I...am speechless.

graysquirrel · April 2011

OP, these people are trying to help you. Be a grown up and take their good advice. Kicking people out of your WP is just plain rude, but based on the foul language you've spouted, my guess is that you know all about that.

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