::Kicks a tumbleweed::

Ciaram22 · November 2010

I wish my MIL were closer. My mom has already expressed how she does not want to be a grandma to this baby which pissed me off. My MIL can't wait. She has 2 step grandchildren but this will be her first grandchild. She would be the one calling me asking to take the baby for the day. She'd be the grandma that has a bluetooth headset for her house phone so she could do all of her conference calls from home just so she could spend time with the baby.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:b9aa016f-6c40-4fc7-be60-884e039faefa">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed:: : Holy crap. I don't know how you can deal with that, I get annoyed so easily!
Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]

Oh I do too, but luckily now we live on the other side of the country from her, so I can easily ignore her. Thats the one upside of leaving my whole family, is that we left her too. The kicker though with the drama at our wedding is that she barely even raised H, and he hasn't lived in the same city as her, let alone the same house, for 8 years now. And he has 2 younger brothers. So clearly she was just looking for sympathy at our RD, and she really just looked like an idiot. I'm still completely shocked though that she left our wedding about half an hour after the mother/son dance. Who lives their kids wedding early?

[Deleted User] · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:05fc820f-8c03-4e9e-8350-97df5c46a016">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]I wish my MIL were closer. My mom has already expressed how she does not want to be a grandma to this baby which pissed me off. My MIL can't wait. She has 2 step grandchildren but this will be her first grandchild. She would be the one calling me asking to take the baby for the day. She'd be the grandma that has a bluetooth headset for her house phone so she could do all of her conference calls from home just so she could spend time with the baby.
Posted by Ciaram22[/QUOTE]

This will be my MIL as well. While I think my Mom will be excited when we do decide to have kids, I don't think she will be the one to help us out or give us a night to ourselves, that kinda of thing.

It sounds like we kinda have similar situations with the IL's vs the parents.

pinkpinot · November 2010

If H is gone for the night my dogs do not let me sleep. They bark & growl at every little thing and it usually scares me because I think an axe murderer is climbing through my window. Sometimes I wish we had crate trained the dogs when they pull these nighttime shenanigans.

pinkpinot · November 2010

Are you serious, dnb? I can't believe she would put on such a ridiculous song & dance for your wedding and then skip out like that! Was your H upset?

pinkpinot · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:05fc820f-8c03-4e9e-8350-97df5c46a016">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]I wish my MIL were closer. My mom has already expressed how she does not want to be a grandma to this baby which pissed me off.My MIL can't wait. She has 2 step grandchildren but this will be her first grandchild. She would be the one calling me asking to take the baby for the day. She'd be the grandma that has a bluetooth headset for her house phone so she could do all of her conference calls from home just so she could spend time with the baby.
Posted by Ciaram22[/QUOTE]

Are you serious? That is a cuntpicklish thing for your mom to do! Why wouldn't she want to be a grandma?

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:18a06e3e-977c-4d72-b858-e110d62935ba">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]If H is gone for the night my dogs do not let me sleep. They bark & growl at every little thing and it usually scares me because I think an axe murderer is climbing through my window. Sometimes I wish we had crate trained the dogs when they pull these nighttime shenanigans.
Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]

Haha my dog is the opposite. He curls up under the covers with me, and snores so loud. I don't think he would wake up to anything in the middle of the night, which scares me even more. I like that our complex has shared walls because I feel like if something were to happen I could scream loud enough or bang on the wall. But I also hate it when its really quiet and I can hear the neighbors walking around because it sounds like its in my house. Two weeks ago I could have sworn someone was in my house while I was in the shower, and I got out with soapy hair to look. I don't know what I thought I was going to do wet, naked, and full of shampoo though.

Ciaram22 · November 2010

The only issue with our wedding that we had was for personal reasons we had cut out the line that said who gives this woman because there were too many people involved. I had both my dad and my grandfather walk me down the aisle. My grandma objected and we added it and it went smoothly. Other than that my family didn't want to be involved until about 2 weeks before the wedding where everything was already done and paid for.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:38d34a0b-fa8e-4cb9-ad07-27d40df44db6">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you serious, dnb? I can't believe she would put on such a ridiculous song & dance for your wedding and then skip out like that! Was your H upset?
Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]

He said he wasn't surprised that she left, but I was. But he said it was better that she left so she didn't make a drunken fool out of herself in front of everyone. Which is a good point.

[Deleted User] · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:97b01975-ecf1-411b-8a7d-f20428224037">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]The only issue with our wedding that we had was for personal reasons we had cut out the line that said who gives this woman because there were too many people involved. I had both my dad and my grandfather walk me down the aisle. My grandma objected and we added it and it went smoothly. Other than that my family didn't want to be involved until about 2 weeks before the wedding where everything was already done and paid for.
Posted by Ciaram22[/QUOTE]

This also reminds me of my parents. They did not lift a finger for our entire wedding. Heck, the didn't even go to any of the tastings or see the venue until a few weeks before when they drove by the country club.

Beachy730 · November 2010

Ciara that stinks, I'm sorry. I remember you saying before how not close you with with your family. We are the complete opposite, as H would now take my parents anyday over his mom. And I'm so ridiculously thankful for that.

Ciaram22 · November 2010

My mother told us in April that we should never have children. She didn't raise my sister or I she dumped us on our grandparents to raise us. She was never a mom figure that was always grandma. I think she resents her mom for being the mom figure and me not wanting to talk to her like I talk to my grandma. Who knows if she actually meant any of it but its pissed me off enough that I haven't spoken to her since April.

pinkpinot · November 2010

LOL hahahaha you know, my dogs failed me not too long ago. I just got out of the shower and I was walking naked from one room to another to get dressed. My dogs followed me so I asked them if they wanted to go outside and they started jumping all around. I opened the door a few inches to let them out and my 96 year old neighbor was standing on my porch! He scared the crap out of me and saw me completely nude. I wanted to die. My dogs never even heard him come up to my house! I told H we have to move now because I'm so humiliated. I live in a very rural area too, I call him my neighbor but there is an acre of land between our houses hence why I would open my front door naked...it's not like I see people, ever.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:97e3dd21-4aa2-4d14-afd0-2d7d73db787e">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed:: : This also reminds me of my parents. They did not lift a finger for our entire wedding. Heck, the didn't even go to any of the tastings or see the venue until a few weeks before when they drove by the country club.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

That was my MIL. I literally didn't meet my FIL until the night before the wedding since he lives a few hours away and is barely in H's life. It used to upset me but I know that I'll probably see him a total of 5 times in my life so I don't care. His mother had nothing to do with our wedding at all. Never asked about it, didn't offer to help of do anything, and to me she was nothing more than a guest at our wedding. Which was fine with me because I wouldn't have trusted her to do anything. Just like I will never trust her to watch our kids when we have them.

pinkpinot · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:90291784-1f6e-4298-9cef-6fe475080d39">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]My mother told us in April that we should never have children. She didn't raise my sister or I she dumped us on our grandparents to raise us. She was never a mom figure that was always grandma. I think she resents her mom for being the mom figure and me not wanting to talk to her like I talk to my grandma. Who knows if she actually meant any of it but its pissed me off enough that I haven't spoken to her since April.
Posted by Ciaram22[/QUOTE]

Aww I'm so sorry, that is so hard to deal with and I also have a difficult relationship with my mom but I'm not sure I could forgive her if she did what yours did. I don't blame you for not speaking to her since April. I hope your beautiful, perfect little baby never has to know how cruel people are :-(

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:7e17c07c-667d-450f-ac00-a6812f505cfd">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]LOL hahahaha you know, my dogs failed me not too long ago. I just got out of the shower and I was walking naked from one room to another to get dressed. My dogs followed me so I asked them if they wanted to go outside and they started jumping all around. I opened the door a few inches to let them out and my 96 year old neighbor was standing on my porch! He scared the crap out of me and saw me completely nude. I wanted to die. My dogs never even heard him come up to my house! I told H we have to move now because I'm so humiliated. I live in a very rural area too, I call him my neighbor but there is an acre of land between our houses hence why I would open my front door naked...it's not like I see people, ever.
Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]

hahahahahaha that seriously just made me LOL

[Deleted User] · November 2010

Yeah, while I love my Mom, I can't really trust her as far as I can throw her. It is hard to explain bc while I miss them, I think I miss my IL's and all the fun stuff we do when we go over there more. Of course, I miss my little sister, too.

I as well am glad that my parents weren't involved with the wedding planning bc my Mom is a control and manipulating freak. She would have tried to run the whole show. I used to have a big problem with letting her walk all over me, but ever since (with the help of H) I put my foot down, she doesn't try to pull that much anymore, even when we do go home.

There was even a point where I didn't even know if she was going to show up, but I learned to accept it if it did happen and move on. We have had a strained relationship ever since I was a teenager and it really never got any better once H and I started dating. He quickly learned her deal and didn't put up with it. She doesn't like anyone that stands up to her, so that is why they had such a hard time and she wouldn't let him come over to the house for family functions/holidays.

pinkpinot · November 2010

Ugh a crazy MIL that is also a lush, the perfect recipe for disaster! My mom wouldn't come to my wedding because at the last minute she refused to get on an airplane but my sister is getting married in California which is a longer flight and she is going to her wedding. Niceeee

Ciaram22 · November 2010

My sister didn't come to my wedding. She let my mom and grandma convince her that she wanted to be a bridesmaid and when I wouldn't let her she decided she didn't want to come. When I asked her about it a year before the wedding she didn't want to be a bridesmaid because she didn't want to wear anything that I would want her to wear.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:df237990-0aae-43f9-ae01-f342ec722876">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]Ugh a crazy MIL that is also a lush, the perfect recipe for disaster! My mom wouldn't come to my wedding because at the last minute she refused to get on an airplane but my sister is getting married in California which is a longer flight and she is going to her wedding. Niceeee
Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]

That stinks, I'm sorry. Its the things like that I think though that get to you even more. Perfect example, as I already said MIL didn't offer to do or help with a single thing for our wedding. But my BIL is getting married next summer and MIL has already called me telling me how she wants to throw FSIL a shower and where she wants to have it. She couldn't even manage to get to my shower until half an hour after it started, which meant we had to hold up everyone eating and getting started, and yet she is going to throw a shower for this one. Total slap in the face.

pinkpinot · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:d72ce0dc-0674-4983-982c-e123b23fbd98">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, while I love my Mom, I can't really trust her as far as I can throw her. It is hard to explain bc while I miss them, I think I miss my IL's and all the fun stuff we do when we go over there more. Of course, I miss my little sister, too. I as well am glad that my parents weren't involved with the wedding planning bc my Mom is a control and manipulating freak. She would have tried to run the whole show. I used to have a big problem with letting her walk all over me, but ever since (with the help of H) I put my foot down, she doesn't try to pull that much anymore, even when we do go home. There was even a point where I didn't even know if she was going to show up, but I learned to accept it if it did happen and move on. We have had a strained relationship ever since I was a teenager and it really never got any better once H and I started dating. He quickly learned her deal and didn't put up with it. She doesn't like anyone that stands up to her, so that is why they had such a hard time and she wouldn't let him come over to the house for family functions/holidays.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

H had a difficult family life growing up, as did I and we always talk about how it is one of the things that bonds us together maybe more than anything. I just could never relate to guys I dated that were very family oriented because I spent my entire life trying to get away from my family. When I started dating H, it was great to be with someone who understood my dread of holidays & family functions.

[Deleted User] · November 2010

My Mom was about a half hour late for my shower as well, and she even helped host it, even though MIL did most of the work. I am convinced (even though I know this sounds really bad) that she did it on purpose bc she thinks the world should wait on her, not to mention her thinking she could control the shower by everyone else wait on her. Sorry, it doesn't work that way Mom.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:3fd90c0b-0157-4c90-9b3f-aee318cf73f0">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister didn't come to my wedding. She let my mom and grandma convince her that she wanted to be a bridesmaid and when I wouldn't let her she decided she didn't want to come. When I asked her about it a year before the wedding she didn't want to be a bridesmaid because she didn't want to wear anything that I would want her to wear.
Posted by Ciaram22[/QUOTE]

That's horrible. Well I'm glad for you that you don't let them get to you, and that you don't go out of your way to try to make them happy. Luckily you have great ILs that you can count on and that will help you.

pinkpinot · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:f996e6a8-9dff-4b0e-80b7-73b92309cd40">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed:: : That stinks, I'm sorry. Its the things like that I think though that get to you even more. Perfect example, as I already said MIL didn't offer to do or help with a single thing for our wedding. But my BIL is getting married next summer and MIL has already called me telling me how she wants to throw FSIL a shower and where she wants to have it. She couldn't even manage to get to my shower until half an hour after it started, which meant we had to hold up everyone eating and getting started, and yet she is going to throw a shower for this one. Total slap in the face.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

Ew I hate this! Why do people behave like that? I will never ever treat people poorly especially future family members.

Ciaram22 · November 2010

Some days its hard and I wish I had a good relationship with them. But others I just remember I have a whole other fmaily that loves and cares about me, my dad and stepmom and other 2 sisters included, that I can count on and it makes it all better.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:8c43b46f-b457-4c94-a01c-3aa3dc10749e">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]My Mom was about a half hour late for my shower as well, and she even helped host it, even though MIL did most of the work. I am convinced (even though I know this sounds really bad) that she did it on purpose bc she thinks the world should wait on her. Sorry, it doesn't work that way Mom.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

Yeah, my MIL also showed up with FSIL, H's cousin, and H's grandma. Apparently BIL needed a ride to work before the shower, and he wouldn't get out of bed. So all of them were half an hour late because they kept trying to wake him up to go to work. I'm sorry, he is 22 years old. If he wouldn't wake up the first time you should have left him there and he could deal with the consequences. Instead, you were late to my shower and held the whole thing up. Then, half an hour after she finally got there and we had just finished eating, I went to introduce her to people when I did my BP and my mom, and she was outside smoking. I just laugh and think about how happy I am that I don't have to deal with it on a daily or even monthly basis.

Ciaram22 · November 2010

My mom, sister and grandma didn't even make it to my shower. My coworkers spent time putting it together and they couldn't even bother to come over for it. My stepmom was going to come but she ended up getting heat stroke as the days before it had been over 100 degrees and wasn't able to make it.

pinkpinot · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:8a915649-1584-481f-8932-26cfcef55bde">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]Some days its hard and I wish I had a good relationship with them. But others I just remember I have a whole other fmaily that loves and cares about me, my dad and stepmom and other 2 sisters included, that I can count on and it makes it all better.
Posted by Ciaram22[/QUOTE]

I'm glad you have great in-laws. Do you know what you are having? Any namessss picked out yet?

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kicks-tumbleweed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3604ab42-0ec0-49c3-a68c-6414fc6264f3Post:7127bf25-b013-4329-9fa6-58b3f3ed0b73">Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed:: : I'm glad you have great in-laws. Do you know what you are having? Any namessss picked out yet?
Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]

Uhhh, she's having a mango. Duh!

Ciaram22 · November 2010

We find out what we are having on Thursday! I can't wait. We have agreed on Edmund Michael for a boy and after months of arguing and getting frustrated we finally decided on Elaina Renee for a girl.

::Kicks a tumbleweed::

Re: ::Kicks a tumbleweed::

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