your biggest etiquette pet peeves go here

pumpkinpumpkin · March 2010

We've done this in forms before. Which etiquette breaches drive you the MOST crazy?

Me? Tiered invites and dance only invites.
I can look past a cash bar or guests who ask for money...but do not think it's okay to A/B list or invite only some people to the dance or ceremony. Unless it's in the circumstance of allowing your sister to have a few friends there.

ac_in_dc · March 2010

Anything that makes your guests physically uncomfortable at your wedding, either by making them stand up during a ceremony, or be outside for a long time in too-hot or too-cold weather, or letting them go hungry.

danieliza1127 · March 2010

A lot of things that everyone else gets all up in arms about don't really bother me - like dollar dances, cash bars, and "fake" weddings where all the guests know the couple is already married but they have the whole ceremony and reception anyway.

I do get bothered by tiered receptions though. I hate it when people ask if they can invite people to the dance only. The reception is ONE event. It's not a dinner, and then a dance. It's one thing, a reception. Everyone needs to be invited to the whole thing or not at all.

britne28 · March 2010

Tiered guest list, lack of seating, not getting that the reception is a thank you to the guests.

ohwhynot · March 2010

I think the one that bothers me the most is putting registry cards/registry information in with the invitations.

arbolita · March 2010

Getting married in secret, then lying to everyone so you can have a pretty princess day.

temerityjane · March 2010

Deceptive wedding do overs, where the couple thinks it's perfectly ok to hide the fact that they're already married from friends and family in order to have a big wedding.

Wedding do-overs after a JOP not for religious reasons, not for "we want family there" reasons, but instead for the "we DESERVE/I'm ENTITLED to a "real"" wedding reasons.

Really, anything that even hints at entitlement at all.

MeaghanandMichael · March 2010

Asking your guests to open their wallet for anything.

salt78 · March 2010

Deciding to elope because it's so romantic, but then having your "wedding" later complete with showers beforehand.

danieliza1127 · March 2010

I really hate gaps too. I know they are common in some areas, they are in my area, but I hate them. I hate that your wedding is taking up my ENTIRE day from 2pm until midnight. I hate that there's not enough time to go home and change and relax, or if there is enough time, that it sort of a pain to get all dressed up again and go back out. I hate that I'm hungry during the gap but can't eat because I know you're going to feed me at the reception. I hate wondering around town trying to find something to do to kill time so you can get your pictures taken at the beach.

AlexiaANDRobert · March 2010

Taking that full year to send Thank You cards. It shouldn't take you more than a month or two even if you're waiting for pro pics.

[Deleted User] · March 2010

"wedding" when already married

Mrs_AF · March 2010

No food, or bad food.

SwedishChick2011 · March 2010

Anything that is or looks gift-grabby - registry cards in the invites, asking for money, inviting people to showers but not the wedding, inviting people to the ceremony only and hoping to get gifts out of it, etc.

iamjoesgurl · March 2010

I hate when people have a private ceremony and the you are invited to the reception only. For me, the ceremony IS the wedding. I also hate the long gaps. It comes off as very selfish to me.

JessAndTrav · March 2010

Not having enough chairs for everyone, not having enough tables for everyone, just being inconsiderate to your guests altogether.

And I don't think this happens often, but once I was hired as a babysitter for a reception and was told to dress comfortably. When there were issues that I needed to speak to the parents with (a child getting sick and not having a change of clothes) I was not allowed in to see the parents of the child due to my clothing.

WTF.

jasmineh7777 · March 2010

Entitlement of any sort, in regards to your wedding and your life.

Kati0105 · March 2010

Asking your guests to open their wallet for anything.

Yeah, I'm going with this.

baystateapple · March 2010

People who use the "I'm far too busy" excuse for sending thank-you cards.

In that same vein, people who take a year to write their thank-you cards, and then write something nondescript in it, such as "thanks for attending our wedding and thanks for the gift."

mocha beans · March 2010

Wedding party going out barhopping between the ceremony and reception that is longer than one quick round at a bar on the way. If the party does go out, at least provide food and drink at the reception place for the guests.

Pretty much many other things I can rationalize for some reason, whether I like it or agree with it or not.

MeaghanandMichael · March 2010

I know this isn't an etiquette pet peeve, but I shudder when people constantly update their fb status about their wedding. Often it is something inappropriate as well, like complaining about guests that won't rsvp. It is one thing to be excited, it is another to act like by putting something in your status you can complain without hurting people's feelings or looking like a brat.

mandapanda78 · March 2010

Having a fundraiser for your wedding. Double for wedding fundraiser events where you ask people for money but you have no intention of inviting those people to the wedding they helped you pay for. Also, asking for cash instead of gifts.

anna.oskar · March 2010

Asking people to "work" your wedding.

polichik · March 2010

Insisting on having a ceremony during a mealtime but not providing anything for your guests... One of my friend's sisters did this. Ceremony at 4:30 PM, reception at 5:30 PM, ONE tray of cold cuts and one bowl of punch. She expected the reception to last until 11. WTF?

baystateapple · March 2010

Open bar for the wedding party, but cash bar for everyone else. I knew someone who did this, only she gave the wedding party and family members "drink tickets." I didn't see it during the wedding, so I just assumed the whole wedding was cash bar. She told me about a year later, talking about how much money she saved by going that route. I cringed.

andyandhillary · March 2010

Not talking to your OOT guests. I once traveled 3 hrs by plane to a wedding for fam friend since childhood who didn't speak to my family ONCE. My mom said goodbye to her as we left but the rest of my family she didnt even acknowledge our attendance. She had a cash bar and crappy food but i'm willing to look past that but not the crappy treatment.

Gaps when there is no reason for it. I get it when churches only allow weddings at a certain time and you want to serve dinner, a lot of Catholic have this issue, but if your reception and wedding are at the same place and there is still a 1 1/2 hr gap that's ridic. One specific occaision the B & G took pics before the ceremony. WTF were they doing />

squirrly · March 2010

Lying in any capacity about anything is my biggest pet peeve, and that applies to weddings as well. If you're already married and you have a fake wedding and lie about it. . . let's just say if I were into VooDoo dolls, you'd be having a very bad day.
Also, wedding fundraisers & tiered receptions.

AND ANYONE WHO REFUSES TO LEARN AND COMPREHEND THE ETIQUETTE RULE THEY ARE HELL BENT ON BREAKING BEFORE DOING SO.

Whew. Breaking etiquette rules doesn't make you trendy or cool. It makes you rude.

georgia_bride09 · March 2010

I'm going with getting married, in secret or not, then having a fake "real" wedding later.

If you are legally married, you had a real wedding in whatever form resulted in said legal marriage.

btrflykate1230 · March 2010

Not having enough seating for guests.

Not having enough food.

Not asking guests what they can and can't eat (I went to a wedding where I was pregnant, and it was a heavy app with no dinner... I couldn't eat most of the food because it had soft cheeses or deli meat).

Not having a time for dancing (I once went to a wedding where there was NO dancing... there was a ceremony, apps, and that was it. *YAWN*)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2010

P2 have you seen the posts on Budget Brides about tiered invites lately? Heels posted a link to one the other day.

Because Canadians are totally used to it and don't think it is rude!!!!

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_budget-weddings_guest-list-cut

ZoeTheDog · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_biggest-etiquette-pet-peeves-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3c890745-80c1-4105-aeae-be95647566d9Post:57a83e3d-5481-4b71-8801-da2eecd216a2">Re: your biggest etiquette pet peeves go here</a>:
[QUOTE]Open bar for the wedding party, but cash bar for everyone else. I knew someone who did this, only she gave the wedding party and family members "drink tickets." I didn't see it during the wedding, so I just assumed the whole wedding was cash bar. She told me about a year later, talking about how much money she saved by going that route. I cringed.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

::facepalm:: Shut your mouth...she did not do that...gross.

your biggest etiquette pet peeves go here

Re: your biggest etiquette pet peeves go here

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