Bachelor Party Woes

FutureMrsTR · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelor-party-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c3cd5f-dec2-4b78-b024-f2b6bdf591abPost:d7d7cfdc-dee9-43c1-87a9-4d83776eacd1">Re: Bachelor Party Woes</a>:
[QUOTE]Looking at naked people on the computer and taking a stripper's g-string off with your teeth are different. I would also argue that going to a strip club and taking a stripper's g-string off with your teeth are very different. If OP's FI isn't even that into strippers, I don't foresee anything like this happening. Honestly this isn't even allowed to happen at most strip clubs.
Posted by Kati0105[/QUOTE]

I agree about the strip clubs and while I wouldn't <em>enjoy</em> thinking about FI at one, it wouldn't make me mad. The OP made it sound like the strippers were going to be in the hotel room and I knew a girl who used to do that kind of stripping and very different things go on there than in a strip club.

Stackeye210 · December 2009

You know your FI better then any of us........If you think he'll go there and not disrespect you when interacting with strippers and won't do drugs then I think you should drop it. If you feel deep down that he would dishonor you in anyway then you need to discuss it with him. But only you can know for sure the right answer.

pag41989 · December 2009

The FI really isnt supposed to have anything to do with what the guys plan. The BM throws the Bachelor party. IMO I would not be comfortable with FI having strippers but it is nothing I would throw up about. I already know FI is going out of town and staying at a hotel with his friends and Im ok with that. I would address the drug situation though.

betrothed123 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelor-party-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c3cd5f-dec2-4b78-b024-f2b6bdf591abPost:02560aa1-c93a-4f04-93d2-42931a047cf1">Re: Bachelor Party Woes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachelor Party Woes : Looking at naked people on the computer and taking a stripper's g-string off with your teeth are different.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

You have a really twisted view of what happens at strip clubs. I've been to a few and have never once seen this happen. In fact, I've seen guys taken down in the middle of a club for just touching the stomach of a stripper. There's no way this would be allowed.

Even if it was a regular occurrence, if the guy didn't want to do this it wouldn't happen. It's not like a stripper would force his mouth around her g-string and then force him to pull it off.

I'll reiterate the story of what happened at my H's party once again, because from all of the storied I've heard, it's quite typical.

The strippers had him come up on the stage, ripped the elastic off the top of his boxers, wrapped it around his neck and lead him around the stage like a dog. They then took his belt and beat his asss so bad it was still bright red the next morning when I saw him. It was pure humiliation, not sexual at all.

Stackeye210 · December 2009

In Response to Re: Bachelor Party Woes:
[QUOTEThe strippers had him come up on the stage, ripped the elastic off the top of his boxers, wrapped it around his neck and lead him around the stage like a dog. They then took his belt and beat his asss so bad it was still bright red the next morning when I saw him. It was pure humiliation, not sexual at all.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!!!!! This actually happened?

salt78 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelor-party-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c3cd5f-dec2-4b78-b024-f2b6bdf591abPost:f7b6c524-5c26-4081-84df-6d05d1d8c5fc">Re: Bachelor Party Woes</a>:
[QUOTE]But now i know that FI probably won't be able to enjoy himself because of me and him had talked about. He's been out of town for the past 4 months and just got back a couple days ago so he didn't really have anything to do with what the guys planned.
Posted by BritandTyson[/QUOTE]

1. He's not supposed to have anything to do with the plans.

2. Whether or not he has fun isn't really any of your concern. Although I'm willing to bet that he will have a good time. Just because you guys talked about it doesn't mean he's not going to have fun.

FutureMrsTR · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelor-party-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c3cd5f-dec2-4b78-b024-f2b6bdf591abPost:cad5afe6-4fcc-41cc-8e9c-daa542851399">Re: Bachelor Party Woes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachelor Party Woes : You have a really twisted view of what happens at strip clubs. Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I was more referring to a stripper that would come to a hotel room, not a strip club.

redheadfsu · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelor-party-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c3cd5f-dec2-4b78-b024-f2b6bdf591abPost:11eb818d-933b-49cb-8c60-bf8420956a71">Re: Bachelor Party Woes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachelor Party Woes : I agree about the strip clubs and while I wouldn't enjoy thinking about FI at one, it wouldn't make me mad. The OP made it sound like the strippers were going to be in the hotel room and I knew a girl who used to do that kind of stripping and very different things go on there than in a strip club.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

This. 100%. I also knew a girl that did hotel room stripping, she did "extras". I don't judge her, but would not be comfortable with FI being involved with it.

bexbark · December 2009

Here's what you do: GET BACK AT HIM!! I can give you the number for an *EXCELLENT* meth-head male stripper. He just "performed" unexpectedly at my bachelorette party last weekend. I'll check to see if he's free.

Okay, in all seriousness, it's fine to think strippers are gross and to be upset at the thought of your FI getting lap dances. I'm not all about it either. But you need to trust your FI. He's not going to be interested in sleeping with her. If he is, you shouldn't be marrying him. The drugs...that's just weird. Especially if he doesn't use.

betrothed123 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelor-party-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c3cd5f-dec2-4b78-b024-f2b6bdf591abPost:4020aea7-411a-4d65-8828-6a8e88da1fdb">Re: Bachelor Party Woes</a>:
[QUOTE]] SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!!!!! This actually happened?
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

It very much did happen. I've heard worse stories on here. It was maybe a year or two ago that some girl came on here and posted about how her FI was tied to the pole and beaten black and blue in his face and chest. She was seriously considering suing the club.

H, his friends, and I all laugh about it. My nephew was actually at the club that night, so he got home and called MIL, who also finds it hilarious.

OFF · December 2009

Throwing up over this seems a bit extreme. Also freaking out about strippers vs drugs uh let's put things in perspective. So wait you trust him not to do drugs but you have no faith that if he is faced with GG boobies he won't partake? Having been to strip clubs before I must say I don't know what the big deal is. If you can't handle your FI seeing naked women and get all afraid he will do something then that seems like an insecurity and trust issue that maybe you guys should talk about. My FI's friends plan on a trip to Amsterdam for goodnessake and all I said was that's a tad expensive and far to go for strippers and pot (although none of them smoke since it would wreck their security clearance). It's his party let them have fun! No need to rush into sucking the joy out of his life before you're even married.

Kati0105 · December 2009

So, should I just get over it?

Yes, unless you want to create drama with the BM and other GMs in the time leading up to the wedding. If you trust your FI not to do anything that would make you uncomfortable, just drop it and enjoy your girls' night. Let one of the GM's girlfriends fall on the sword if they feel the need to speak up.

BritandTyson · December 2009

Thanks everyone for the advice. I just got a call from the BM and he says he understood that I was uncomfortable with drugs and strippers and hotel rooms.

Now he says they're going to go to a town closer to here...TRY to not do drugs and meet up with us girls later to hang out together.

I think that's the best I could hope for...

bexbark · December 2009

Bonus: the male stripper I got to meet likes attempting to feed you cherries stuck stem first into his underwear band. Good times! Think about it and get back to me.

Stackeye210 · December 2009

I dont know about the extras in hotel rooms. I guess I really just trusted Mr Stack and knew he wouldn't indulge in "extras". He prides himself on loyalty so I would never seem him doing something like that, or throwing away our marriage on a piece of dirty a$$ - as for the other 20 guys in the room they are a different story I guess. I didn't ask for details.

ButtonsPepper · December 2009

I don't think I'd be comfortable with strippers in a hotel room. Strip clubs I have no problem with. They are funny to me, and the one's around me, the women for the most part aren't that attractive (some are). I'd also be raising red flags about the drugs. Even if your FI won't do them, if something happens and the cops get called, and this sh!t is found, your FI is involved. This is the biggest no no to me

betrothed123 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelor-party-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c3cd5f-dec2-4b78-b024-f2b6bdf591abPost:a118a493-caac-4530-985f-146bcc90b510">Re: Bachelor Party Woes</a>:
[QUOTE] Now he says they're going to go to a town closer to here...TRY to not do drugs and meet up with us girls later to hang out together. I think that's the best I could hope for...
Posted by BritandTyson[/QUOTE]

So you basically ruined his b-party, and you're still not all too concerned about the drug use? Way to go.

Kati0105 · December 2009

Here's what you do: GET BACK AT HIM!! I can give you the number for an *EXCELLENT* meth-head male stripper. He just "performed" unexpectedly at my bachelorette party last weekend. I'll check to see if he's free.

DED!

OP: "Try" to not do drugs? Really? Sorry but your FI's BM sounds like kind of a loser.

salt78 · December 2009

Oh well thank goodness he's going to TRY not to do drugs. I don't think you should have been freaking out over strippers, but this guy does sound like a supreme loser.

BritandTyson · December 2009

Most of our friends do do drugs oncassionally. I've never even tried before. FI was into pot in highschool but that's it.

We live in a small town where everyone knows everyones business. All of these guys who've never really travelled or gone to university or lived other places..pretty much do nothing with their lives. Get drunk all the time and yeah do drugs.

FI has a job opportunity 2 provinces over and we're thinking of moving out there after we save up for a down payment. Im definitely excited to leave behind the drugs.

salt78 · December 2009

Yeah I'd be antsy to get out of there too. I don't blame you one bit.

BritandTyson · December 2009

I honestly pretty much hate his BM. He's like a big juice monkey and thinks he's the sh!t. I don't think he's ever respected any girl.

I didn't call him, I didn't tell him to cancel it. I had spoken to his GF and she must have told him.

mocha beans · December 2009

TRY not to do drugs?? Your FI's friends have a problem, a drug problem. One does not have to TRY to not do drugs, the drug trolls aren't forcing them down their throats or veins.

The strippers wouldn't bother me, the drugs issue still does. Drop the drugs, spend the evening at the strip club. At least that's not illegal and/or deadly.

Kati0105 · December 2009

Im definitely excited to leave behind the drugs.

Not sure why but this made me giggle. A lot.

BritandTyson · December 2009

Salt, it's awful here! Just today I heard about a rumour that I had been fooling around while FI was away. Like, it's just so ridiculously stupid. I swear, everyone thinks they're still in high-school

Stackeye210 · December 2009

Wow - yea. I can see now why you were a little bit overboard upset. I wouldn't want Mr Stack going anywhere with D-bags. That's good he isn't influenced by them though. Get out of there fast.

Koopa17 · December 2009

Perhaps you should get some new friends then? We had to, so I don't exactly feel sorry for you here.

betrothed123 · December 2009

I live in a very small town where everyone is in everyone else's business. About 1/4 of the kids I went to high school with were dealing, and the majority of the rest of the students were their client base. I still didn't have to "try" to avoid drugs, and neither did most fo the people I associate with (especially those I would consider close enough to ask to be in our WP). I understand how small towns can be, but I still think that's just an excuse. If you want to keep clean you will.

We still live in the town we grew up in, and we have cut ties with 90% of the drug users. The ones we still associate with aren't extremely close to us, nor are they common fixtures in our lives.

BritandTyson · December 2009

Thanks Stackeye,

Theyre FI's friends from highschool. I call them all Peter as in Peter Pan. It's like FI grew up and they forgot to.

salt78 · December 2009

Small towns can be a biitch that way. I'm sorry about the rumor thing. I lived in a smallish town for a couple years and it was the same way. I was SO HAPPY to finally get out of there.

The people that I knew there have basically done nothing of merit with their lives.

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