Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion
Options

cash bar

CanadiannaCanadianna member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I've been reading about this cash bar business-

we were going to have a dry wedding for financial reasons, but our reception location requires that their bar stays open (i.e. cash bar for their own business reasons I guess).....

....awkward? Yes....

This location was the most affordable out of all of the millions we checked out....and then found out about this.

i feel like i need to apologize in advance to guests....
Report Reply to Post
«1

Re: cash bar

  • Options
    JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    I say just do it if it's in the contract.

    But I had a cash bar.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    Can you afford to at least host beer and wine?
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Lyss5782Lyss5782
    First Comment
    I am probably in the minority, but I would invite less people and serve alcohol rather than invite more and have a cash bar.  Can you cut other things?
    226 Invitedimage 153 Are Ready to Partyimage 68 Are Washing Their Hairimage 5 Better Not Make Me Hunt Them Downimage RSVP Date: June 15
    July 10, 2010
    imageimage
    Planning Bio
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MeaghanandMichaelMeaghanandMichael
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:25840bbd-77ef-431e-863e-261f98e27ec4Post:b3057610-c58e-4074-8840-e4539c26e565">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am probably in the minority, but I would invite less people and serve alcohol rather than invite more and have a cash bar.  Can you cut other things?
    Posted by Lyss5782[/QUOTE]

    sign me up for that minority
    image
    RAWR!

    Report Reply
  • Options
    CanadiannaCanadianna member
    First Comment
    We are both students and have friends from all over the world- we'd rather have those people there than have to cut them just to serve alcohol. We would have made our own wine or whatever but the contract prevents this from happening.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    CanadiannaCanadianna member
    First Comment
    Cutting other things isn't really an option either....we're going as cost-efficient as we are able to.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Lyss5782Lyss5782
    First Comment
    Meaghan...those who marry Michael Aarons think alike...  :)
    226 Invitedimage 153 Are Ready to Partyimage 68 Are Washing Their Hairimage 5 Better Not Make Me Hunt Them Downimage RSVP Date: June 15
    July 10, 2010
    imageimage
    Planning Bio
    Report Reply
  • Options
    luckyme502luckyme502 member
    First Comment
    I think it will be okay.  In the grand scheme of things, it won't matter if you have a cash bar or not.  20 years from now, no one will care, or probably remember. 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    2011 Reading Challenge

    Jessica has read 16 books toward her goal of 150 books.
    hide
    "It's fine to have an open mind, just not so open your brains fall out."
    Report Reply
  • Options
    danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    Well I'm not sure what your question is then. If you really can't find room in the budget to at least cover the cost of wine or beer, and you can't cut the guest list, it sounds like you're stuck having a cash bar.   Some people find it rude but others don't. 
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mandysmearmandysmear member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:25840bbd-77ef-431e-863e-261f98e27ec4Post:1b5e258a-8edc-4030-b3af-90b439ba7891">cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've been reading about this cash bar business- we were going to have a dry wedding for financial reasons, but our reception location requires that their bar stays open (i.e. cash bar for their own business reasons I guess)..... ....awkward? Yes.... This location was the most affordable out of all of the millions we checked out....and then found out about this. i feel like i need to apologize in advance to guests....
    Posted by Canadianna[/QUOTE]

    If I was your guest I'd just be happy there was booze.  Whether it came out of your pocket or mine.  Happy to celebrate with you and happy that there was alcohol at my disposal.  But, that's just me though. 

    "It's shart week." -georgiabride
    "This post is seriously retarded." -Stackeye210
    image
    image
    Miss
    Mrs & ZOMG we built a howse!
    being healthy. blog.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    First Comment
    I didn't marry a Michael Aaron, but I'm on your minority bandwagon. I'd rather host fewer friends the way that I think is right than invite more and feel like an ass for making them pay for part of my reception.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Married bio

    Pro pics

    Travel and expat life blog

    Report Reply
  • Options
    aggiebugaggiebug member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I get the issues people have with cash bars, but I personally think you are fine. 

    as a happy medium for this situation

    could you purchase a bottle of wine per table? you could do it through the vendor so they are happy, but limit the money you spend on alcohol.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Love is like infinity: You can't have more or less infinity, and you can't compare two things to see if they're "equally infinite." Infinity just is, and that's the way I think love is, too.
    Fred Rogers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:25840bbd-77ef-431e-863e-261f98e27ec4Post:7c55f443-b498-42f3-b0ee-fc8e9c330b04">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to cash bar : If I was your guest I'd just be happy there was booze.  Whether it came out of your pocket or mine.  Happy to celebrate with you and happy that there was alcohol at my disposal.  But, that's just me though. 
    Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]

    That's how I feel about cash bars too.
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    CanadiannaCanadianna member
    First Comment

    Thanks ladies...!

    I just didn't think it would be a big deal until i was reading some comments in the boards here....

    Report Reply
  • Options
    Audrey&AustinAudrey&Austin member
    First Comment
    If its in the contract and the venue fits in your budget, I say go for it. Some people might not like that they have to pay, but they'll be happier that they can celebrate this wonderful time with you and your FI.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Bio!
    Blog
    my to-read shelf:
    Audrey's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (to-read shelf)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    september's brideseptember's bride member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    If this is the situation you're dealt, then just go with it and adapt. I'm happy to have the option of purchasing a glass of wine with my meal, so cash bars don't bother me that much. I would ask, perhaps, to see if the bar would consider reduced prices for your wedding guests or if they'd let you buy a bottle of red and white wine for the tables from them.

    The only thing I would recommend is that your bridal party put the word out about the cash bar in some way. I rarely carry cash or my bank card to a wedding, so I'd show up with no money and wouldn't be able to drink.
    image
    Married Bio
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MeaghanandMichaelMeaghanandMichael
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:25840bbd-77ef-431e-863e-261f98e27ec4Post:83e0d7e7-0be7-452b-afc3-70f99a10a90f">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]Meaghan...those who marry Michael Aarons think alike...  :)
    Posted by Lyss5782[/QUOTE]
    Ha! I had forgotten about this... too funny!
    image
    RAWR!

    Report Reply
  • Options
    MeaghanandMichaelMeaghanandMichael
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:25840bbd-77ef-431e-863e-261f98e27ec4Post:7c55f443-b498-42f3-b0ee-fc8e9c330b04">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to cash bar : If I was your guest I'd just be happy there was booze.  Whether it came out of your pocket or mine.  Happy to celebrate with you and happy that there was alcohol at my disposal.  But, that's just me though. 
    Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]


    My goodness I would hope most guests feel this way!  If the question was, "I went to a wedding witha  cash bar, should I be mad?" then that person is just an idiot. But, as a hostess there are just other things to consider.
    image
    RAWR!

    Report Reply
  • Options
    CanadiannaCanadianna member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:25840bbd-77ef-431e-863e-261f98e27ec4Post:fbe5b00b-6564-4292-9d26-a32f81ee1146">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]If this is the situation you're dealt, then just go with it and adapt. I'm happy to have the option of purchasing a glass of wine with my meal, so cash bars don't bother me that much. I would ask, perhaps, to see if the bar would consider reduced prices for your wedding guests or if they'd let you buy a bottle of red and white wine for the tables from them. The only thing I would recommend is that your bridal party put the word out about the cash bar in some way. I rarely carry cash or my bank card to a wedding, so I'd show up with no money and wouldn't be able to drink.
    Posted by september's bride[/QUOTE]

    I know...that's the thing- same with me. Good idea though-- it's on my list to check out :)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    kikibabykikibaby member
    First Comment
    I'm totally with Mandy.  I'd hate to think someone cut me from their guest list just because they couldn't afford my booze.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:25840bbd-77ef-431e-863e-261f98e27ec4Post:b3057610-c58e-4074-8840-e4539c26e565">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am probably in the minority, but I would invite less people and serve alcohol rather than invite more and have a cash bar.  Can you cut other things?
    Posted by Lyss5782[/QUOTE]

    If you're in the minority, make some room for me over there.
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    40/112

    Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • Options
    DFaughtDFaught member
    First Comment

      I'm kinda in this situation also. We're getting married at the local country club (which was the cheapest place, believe it or not) and they don't allow outside food/drink of any kind except for the wedding cake. But my aunts reception was the same way - my grandfather was just so friendly with the money that day that no one had to pay for their own.   :)  I agree with a previous poster that most people are just happy to be celebrating with you and won't care years later wether they had to pay or not.

    Daisypath Wedding tickers

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TroyandKellyTroyandKelly member
    First Comment
    I think it depends on what area of the US you are in, but in NH a cash bar is perfectly acceptable - I haven't been to any open bar weddings actually (we are a bunch of drunks up here and it would be chaos to have free booze!).  You could have a coctail hour where you can offer free champagne or wine for the first hour.
    In addition - I would totally rather go to a wedding with a cash bar than a dry wedding.  I did mention that we are a bunch of drunks, right?
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    OP, are cash bars common in your area? Or your family? If so, people are likely to assume they can buy alcohol and come prepared. If not, they might be offended, but I'm not sure you have a choice, other than switching venues.
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    40/112

    Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TwinsRibTwinsRib member
    First Comment
    I don't see what the big deal is about open vs. cash vs. dry or why serving alcohol is such a big deal to some people... Maybe it's just my family, but it seems like every wedding I've attended served no alcohol and we had a great time regardless (i've heard it claimed that booze makes the reception "more fun")... Granted, most of the (older) people in my family don't even drink but even now that my sisters and cousins have started marrying off... There still has not been alcohol served at their receptions.

    I dunno... I just had to chime in because I really don't see what the big deal is. FI and I will be having a dry reception and an after party for the younger crowd... I sure the liquor will be flowing then but it isn't a necessity... I dunno... maybe we're wierd lol...
    Our Wedding Website
    Report Reply
  • Options
    btrflykate1230btrflykate1230 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:25840bbd-77ef-431e-863e-261f98e27ec4Post:65c0717d-92f7-4b9b-b24f-2886d3faa36f">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm totally with Mandy.  I'd hate to think someone cut me from their guest list just because they couldn't afford my booze.
    Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

    I'm with Mandy and Kiki.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    We had our reception at a restaurant, so even if we wanted to have a dry reception, we couldn't have.  Originally, we were going to have wine on the tables, but we had a situation arise a few weeks before the wedding so we couldn't. 

    It is what it is. 
    Photobucket White Knot
    God kills a bunny every time someone asks about honeymoon registries.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    i had a cash bar and i personally dont see anything wrong with them provided you arent wasting money on other things that arent necessary.  in our case, the cash bar fit the theme of "we arent spending a lot on this wedding".  if you are going to have a 2-3K dress, fancy limos, favors, and extras like that, then it does look bad to have a cash bar.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:25840bbd-77ef-431e-863e-261f98e27ec4Post:65c0717d-92f7-4b9b-b24f-2886d3faa36f">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm totally with Mandy.  I'd hate to think someone cut me from their guest list just because they couldn't afford my booze.
    Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]


    Umm.. I do not think I would care.  Let's face it people have to make cuts based on a lot of things. If being a good host means providing an open bar (like it is in my family) it's a prefectly good reason to me.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:25840bbd-77ef-431e-863e-261f98e27ec4Post:89e0f161-a956-4143-8599-87c3960eeba2">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar : sign me up for that minority
    Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

    sign me up too
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic **Bio**
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards